The Best 58 Leak Jokes

Following is our collection of Leak jokes which are very funny. There are some leak stream jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these leak trickle puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Leak Jokes and Puns

So I checked into a low class hotel

I called the frontdesk and told him "I got a leak in my sink," he said "go ahead."

This morning I had a leak in my shower...

Wait, WHOAH, that didn't sound right. Talk about a double entendre.

What I meant to say was this morning I *peed* in my shower...

An American woman is hiking through Germany...

She's enjoying taking in the sights and immersing herself in the culture. But one day, while hiking through a wooded area, she comes across an elderly German man taking a leak on the side of the path. He's hardly subtle about it; letting his sausage hang out for the world to see. Immediately the woman averts her eyes! "Oh, gross!" she exclaims. The Old German man, just finishing up, winks suggestively at the woman before zipping up his fly and walking away. "Danke schΓΆn"

How do you know when you're staying in a hillbilly hotel?

When you call the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my sink,"
and the clerk replies, "okay, Go ahead."

Why did the boat know it had a leak?

That sinking feeling...

They say that a leaked sex tape can launch a celebrity's career...

But my masturbation video hasn't even landed me a job interview.

Why don't the British make computers?

They can't figure out how to make them leak oil.

What do you call a sinking ship from BP's Mexico division?

A Pedro leak.

A little boy sees his father emerging from the shower...

... and wide-eyed, asks "What is that?" His flustered father answers "Well, son, that's my nerve." Later that day the boy is playing in his neighbor's yard and takes a leak in her bushes. She spots the boy in the act and hollers "You've got a lot of nerve!" The boy replies, "If you think that's a lot, you should see my dad..."

Two wires at sea

Two wires were on an ocean cruise when the ship sprung a leak and sank. The solid core wire managed to climb into a lifeboat and head to safety.

The other was stranded.

What do you call 4 Mexicans in a boat with a terrible leak?

Cuatro sinko

You can explore leak blowout reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean leak spill dad jokes. There are also leak puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl taking a leak?

Because their entire species is extinct.

Two Texans taking a leak off the GW Bridge on a December night

Man, it's cold.

Yeah, deep too!

An American girl goes on vacation to Berlin

While walking through town one night, she sees a drunk guy openly taking a leak up against a wall.

Disgusted, she loudly proclaims, "Gross!"

The man turns with a proud smile on his face and says, "Danke!"

My dad was literally trying to kill me when he brought me my first car.

It had all sort of problems gas leak, worn tires but mostly it was cheap so that he could use the rest of his money to put a hit on me.

It's leaked that Caitlyn Jenner is winning the "woman of the year" award.

Oh so now they're implying that men are better at being women than women are.

I saw leaked footage of Finding Dory yesterday

Bruce the shark is now called Caitlyn.

My company put me up in the cheapest hotel...

I called down to the front desk and said "I've got a leak in my sink."

They said "Go ahead."

Called the front desk of our motel and told him "I've gotta leak in the sink."

He said "That's OK, just rinse it out when you're done."

Whistleblower reveals that the government is concealing cracks in Hoover Dam.

FBI is still looking for the leak.

What's the most insecure soup for an online security professional?

Leak (leek) soup!

There was a bad leak from a controversial molten metal pipeline recently.

The iron-y of the situation was very apparent.

Why do we let women and children off a sinking ship first?

So the men can plug the leak, sail away, and start better lives.

My mechanic thinks i'm in denial over my brake fluid leak.

But he's wrong; I can stop any time i want.

New leaks reveal that George Washington didn't cut down that cherry tree

it was actually brought down by Russian hackers

That nude leak is really horrible and disgusting..

..I remember how I felt so sad and sorry for them that I reached for the tissues.

That CIA surveillance leak sure is scary

I hope my Roomba doesn't start gathering dirt on me

I'm in a hotel room and call down to the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in the sink..."

The guy answers, "Go ahead, the customer's always right..."

- H. Youngman

Did you hear about the new Mario game leak?

Apparently it's just about a bad plumber.

The president, a business man, and a national security leak walk into a bar...

... and order a drink. The bartender pours one beer and says, "Here you go, Mr Trump."

Kool-Aid Man runs a 5k with a leak...

Punch line ensues.

Which one is different from the other three and why - a fridge, a washing machine, a tv or a woman?

Most people say it's the tv because it's the only one that doesn't belong in the kitchen but they are sexist. It's the tv because it's the only one that doesn't leak when it's fudked.

I am having a leak at the urinal, and the guy next to me says: My god! It's like a stove pipe!

β€” Yeah! I answer, it's big, eh?
β€” No! It's dirty!

I figured out who the leak is in the White House

It's Trump himself.

Just tell him how great he is and ask for details of the awesome things he's done, he'll tell you every time.

Jaguar just announced an XK-E Concept car they will show at the Frankfurt Auto Show this year.

They had been working on it for 10 years but they only recently figured out how to make it leak oil

The Bison.

My son and I were hiking one day when a bison charged towards him as he was taking a leak. I shouted Bison but it was already too late and he died. My wife tried to console me and said Atleast you were able to say goodbye .

One day Donald Trump's nudes will leak...

And he'll do a press conference where he will announce: FAKE NUUUUDES

A technician is called to inspect q gas leak at an anesthesiologist's office

Upon arrival, he said: "Huh, this smells like chlorofor".

I tried to call the president of Russia, but he was away from his desk.

He was probably taking a leak, or maybe he was Putin.

I can usually hit the toilet when I take a leak standing up...

But when I've been drinking, it's sit or miss.

Working from home in this weather makes me want to leak classified information...

Cause I'm snowed in.

Hamlet has to pee [Hamleak]

Quick little blurb I wrote in class:
To pee, or not to pee, that is the question.
Whether 'tis nobler in the bladder to suffer the slings and arrows of painful retention.
Or to take arm against a see of urine and by opposing relive it.
To go-to pee,
No more; and by a leak we say to end the headache and the thousand visceral shocks that urine is heir to: 'tis a consummation devoutly to be piss'd.

What's the difference between Snowden and snowmen?

The D

And snowmen won't leak the topsecret documents.

An Egyptian man was sailing down a river

When his boat started to leak. He kept on rowing further down the river, whilst more and more water started to pour in. The man ignored the problem and just continued to sail down the river. Eventually his boat was nearly fully submerged and it quickly started to sink. The man refused to come to terms with his situation and just kept trying to row down the river.

He was in de Nile

I have a danm problem....

I think that there's a leak

I was working on sealing a leak in a crack in my foundation when a friend told me I should look for one at the sex shop...

...At first I was skeptical but I gave it a try and I must say, I was quite disappointed because it was everything but plugs.

As an old man, I understand how batteries feel

because we both leak after a period of time.

It's strange that we don't hear more concern from the flat earthers about Antarctica melting

You'd think they would be worried about the ice wall springing a leak and draining the ocean.

Robert died...

He was working on the local brewery and fell inside the beer tank, drowning. It is believed he didn't suffer as footage shows him leaving the tank twice to take a leak.

I was in the middle of a lake in a canoe with my girl friend last week when suddenly the boat sprung a leak. We had to decide whether to try and get the boat back to shore or abandon ship.

We had a real row v. wade debate that day.

Saw some leaked photos of Google Pixel 3XL today...

notch my cup of tea.

I'd to rush to restroom one day

I'd to rush to restroom one day. I was taking a leak and my manager walks by and asks "how is it going"? I looked down and turned to him and said "yellow and fast"

As a plumber's assistant, I'm always being ordered around... "Stop that dripping, plug that leak, for God's sake... turn off the water works!"

It's not my fault, I'm just an emotional guy.

What's R Kelly's favorite game?

Hide and Leak

How do you know if you're a plug?

If you don't leak.

2 bikers going for a ride...

They decided to stop for a leak off the side of a bridge. As they're doing their business, one biker says "jeez, the water's cold". The other one says "jeez, the bottoms rough...".

My Prius had an oil leak

Had to pay for a tampon to stop it up

I was taking a leak and used my stream to kill a fly

Better be the last time I see one of those bastards on my rommate's toothbrush

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the leak leaky jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working leak duct piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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