league Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious league puns

What did the gamer say when his girlfriend asked what World of Warcraft and League of Legends were?

"Wow, lol"

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I have finally punched my membership card into Dad jokes!

So last night my 12 year old son and I are watching the Little League World Series. The pitcher for the Nevada team has a last name of "Kryszczuk". My son looks to me and asks "Do you think he's Russian?"

My response: Nope, it looks like he's taking his time.

It took him a couple of seconds to realize and then he gave me that wonderful "Really, Dad?" look. I'm so proud.

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Why are Americans so bad at League of Legends?

because they can't protect their towers

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If Liverpool wins, somebody warn the Pope!

1981:
1. A British prince gets married
2. Liverpool wins the Champions League
3. The Pope dies

2005:
1. A British prince gets married
2. Liverpool wins the Champions League
3. The Pope dies

2018:
1. A British prince gets married
2. Liverpool is in the Champions League's final
3.

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Why is America bad at League of Legends?

Because we can't defend towers

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It's appropriate that Cyborg from the Justice League is black,

Considering that he's only 3/5 of a person.

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Superman was flying above Metropolis

When he saw Wonder Woman sunbathing on the roof of the Justice League, totally naked. Superman thinks to himself, 'Hey, I'm Superman, I could fly down there really fast and fuck Wonder Woman, and she'd never know.' So Superman flies down and fucks Wonder Woman so fast she doesn't even see him. When he's done, Wonder Woman sits up and says "What the fuck was that?", To which the Invisible Man replies, "I dunno, but my asshole is killing me."

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New to Baseball

Coming home from his Little League game, Billy swung open the front door very excited. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened. "So, how did you do son?" he asked.

"You'll never believe it!" Billy said. "I was responsible for the winning run!"

"Really? How'd you do that?"

"I dropped the ball."

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I hate when people say "She's out of your league"

Just because I'm in the majors, and she's a minor. Doesn't mean it can't happen.

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My wife asked me how Wonder Woman got her new sword in the Justice League movie...

I told her that she must have Amazon Prime

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Dr Horrible got a great deal on getting into the Evil League of Evil

It only cost him a Penny

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I'm having trouble organizing a Hide and Seek league.

Good players are hard to find.

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Why do the french hate League of Legends?

They have to wait 20 minutes before surrendering

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Why are Americans so bad at League of Legends?

Because they cant defend the towers

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I think I want to take up acting...

Does anyone know of a local soccer league I could join?

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Wonderwoman was sunbathing naked on top of the justice league tower...

Superman was flying over and he had the idea that "hey I'm quick as lightning, I could go down there and have sex with her really quick then be out of there in a second." So he flies down, gets the job done and flies off. Wonderwoman jumps up and goes "what the hell was that?" Invisible man replies "I don't know but my ass really hurts."

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The Justice League has a vacancy and the number 7 is interviewing to fill a superhero position...

Batman: Thank you for coming, 7. Its been rough since the Flash took off and we're having a hard time finding someone to replace him. Let's get right to it. What is your first power?


Number 7: Well, for my whole life I've been in prime condition and I don't anticipate that changing anytime soon.


Bathman: That's great to hear. What do you consider your second power to be?


Number 7: 49

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Classic Ivy League joke

Visitor in Harvard Square: "Excuse me, where's the library at?"

Harvard student: "Sir, this is Harvard. We don't end our sentences with prepositions."

Visitor: "Oh, I'm sorry. I meant to ask, where's the library at, asshole?"

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The most toxic substances known to mankind.

1. Arsenic
2. Cyanide
3. Polonium
4. Mercury
5. The League of Legends community

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More NFL news

NFL CUTS ONE TEAM

The NFL announced today that for financial reasons they had to eliminate one team from the league.

They've decided to combine the Green Bay Packers and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and form one team, causing many layoffs but saving millions of dollars in costs.

They will be known as the TAMPACKS.

Unfortunately, they're only good for one period and have no second string.

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I was having problems with my computer

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Joshua, the 11 year old next door, who plays League of Legends every day, all night long.

Joshua clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"

He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An ID Ten T error?

What's that? In case I need to fix it again."

Joshua grinned, "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"

"No", I replied.

"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."

So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T

I used to like that little boy.

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A Texan went to an ivy league party on the East coast...

...and there's this group of fancy ladies standing around.

"Howdy," he said. "Which school did y'all go to?"

"Oh... Yale," one of them replied daintily.

'WHICH SCHOOL DID Y'ALL GO TO?!"

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Husband's birthday going wrong

A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday.

They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
"Oh, no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,"How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"

"She's in the Ladies' Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says "Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"

Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.

The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave."

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Why are Helium, Curium and Barium called the medical elements?

Because if you can't Helium or Curium, you Barium.
(Heard it from Heimerdinger, League of Legends)

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My friend redeems himself after getting shot down...

My coworker was hitting on these two women who were way put of his league. They tolerated him for a while thinking he would go away, but he was persistent to the point that they were getting visibly agitated.

Thinking she would put him in his place, one of the women finally said, "Look buddy, I'm sure you're great, but my friend and I only date guys with 10-inch dicks."

I was getting that feeling in my stomach that guys get when they watch a friend get shot down and utterly humiliated. Then my friend replied, "Hey lady, I don't care who y'all are, I ain't holding back two inches for nobody!"

He got their numbers.

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A buddy asked if I was pro gay...

I'm not even amateur gay; I didn't even know they had a league!

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Wonder Woman and Superman

One day Superman was flying over the city doing his rounds when he noticed Wonder Woman sunbathing on the roof of the Justice League in all her naked glory.

Superman begins to think.. "Wait a minute.. I'm faster than a speeding bullet.. I could go down there, have all the sex I want and fly away before she notices.."

So he takes a second to prepare and *jets* down to her, pumps away like mad and flies away before anyone is the wiser.

Then Wonder Woman exclaims, "What the hell was that!?"
And the Invisible Man says, "I don't know but my ass is killing me!"

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1978: UK's prince marries, Liverpool wins the Champions League, the Pope dies.

2005: UK's prince marries, Liverpool wins the Champions League, the Pope dies.

2018: UK's prince marries, Liverpool is in the Champions League final, and the Pope is cheering for Real Madrid like a madman.

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I went on a date with a girl who was clearly out of my league.

But she'd heard that I was going to see a movie she wanted to see, and we made a date of it.

On the way over I thought I might get lucky so I went to the drug store and bought a box of condoms.

When I stopped at her house, her family invited me to dinner. I asked if I could say the blessing on the dinner. I prayed for about ten minutes, the holiest prayer I could think of.

On the way out to the car, she quipped "I never knew you were so religious!" I replied, "I never knew your dad was a pharmacist."

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What super hero league would Caitlyn Jenner be a member of?

The X men!

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One day Superman is flying over the Justice League building...

and he looks down to see Wonder Woman sprawled out on her back, naked, tanning.

"Wow she is so hot, if only I can have a chance at that!" He exclaimed to himself. Suddenly a thought occurred to him...

"Wait, I am Superman! I can fly down there and have sex with her and fly off so fast she wouldn't even know what happened!"

So Superman quickly swoops down, does his business and flies off satisfied. Wonder Woman quickly gets up,

"What was that, I thought I heard something?"

Invisible man replies, "I don't know, but my ass really hurts."

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Did you ever hear the one about Superman and Wonder Woman?

Superman's flying around metropolis and he's horny as hell. He's checking out the rooftops and all of a sudden he sees Wonder Woman sunning herself on the roof of the Justice League. I mean she is lying there buck naked and spread eagle. Looks like she wants to get fucked right? So Superman starts thinking to himself, "Man I gotta get myself some of that wonderpussy." and then he realizes that he can fly down, do a little fast pumping and be gone before she even sees him. Because he's Superman. he's faster than a speeding bullet, right?
So Superman, he swoops down, he fucks her so quick, she doesn't even see him. Wonder Woman sits up and says, "What the fuck was that?!" and The Invisible Man says "I don't know but my asshole is killing me."

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This absolutely stunning girl catches me looking at her so she walks up to me and says "I'll fuck you for $100".

This girl was way out of my league so I went into my wallet and practically threw the $100 at her. The girl folds it up and places it in her pocket, and before walking away she simply says "You just got fucked".

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My school did a performance called League of Legends.

It was a play on wards.

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Many years ago, a middle-aged couple took in a young woman boarder.

When she asked to take a bath, the woman of the house told her, "We don't have a bathtub but you're welcome to use the washtub in front of the fire. Monday nights would be best; my husband bowls every Monday."
The following Monday, when the husband had left for his bowling league, the housewife filled the washtub and watched as the young girl undressed.
She noticed with surprise that the girl had no pubic hair. When she told her husband later that night he didn't believe her, so she said, "Next Monday, before you go off to bowling, I'll leave a little gap in the curtains and you can sneak back in to see for yourself."
This week, as the girl undressed, the wife asked, "Do you shave yourself down there?"
"No," replied the girl, "I've just never grown any hair there. Do you have hair there?"
"Oh, yes," said the woman and she showed it to her.
After the husband came home from bowling, the wife asked him, "So? Did you see it?"
"Yes, and you were right," he said. "But why did you show her yours?"
"Why not?" she replied, "It's nothing you haven't seen before."
He replied, "True, but it was sure a surprise to my bowling team!"

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What are the most funny League jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about League? Well, here are the best League dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and League pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes