League Jokes

Following is our collection of nhl humor and quarterback one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include League puns for adults, dirty panthers jokes or clean badminton gags for kids.

There is an abundance of association jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 60 funniest jokes on league. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any canadian football league witze you can hear about league.

The Best jokes about League

Why are Americans bad at League of Legends ?

They can't defend the towers

What did the gamer say when his girlfriend asked what World of Warcraft and League of Legends were?

"Wow, lol"

I have finally punched my membership card into Dad jokes!

So last night my 12 year old son and I are watching the Little League World Series. The pitcher for the Nevada team has a last name of "Kryszczuk". My son looks to me and asks "Do you think he's Russian?"

My response: Nope, it looks like he's taking his time.

It took him a couple of seconds to realize and then he gave me that wonderful "Really, Dad?" look. I'm so proud.

Why are Americans so bad at League of Legends?

because they can't protect their towers

If Liverpool wins, somebody warn the Pope!

1981:
1. A British prince gets married
2. Liverpool wins the Champions League
3. The Pope dies

2005:
1. A British prince gets married
2. Liverpool wins the Champions League
3. The Pope dies

2018:
1. A British prince gets married
2. Liverpool is in the Champions League's final
3.


Why is America bad at League of Legends?

Because we can't defend towers

It's appropriate that Cyborg from the Justice League is black,

Considering that he's only 3/5 of a person.

New to Baseball

Coming home from his Little League game, Billy swung open the front door very excited. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened. "So, how did you do son?" he asked.

"You'll never believe it!" Billy said. "I was responsible for the winning run!"

"Really? How'd you do that?"

"I dropped the ball."

I hate when people say "She's out of your league"

Just because I'm in the majors, and she's a minor. Doesn't mean it can't happen.

My wife asked me how Wonder Woman got her new sword in the Justice League movie...

I told her that she must have Amazon Prime

Dr Horrible got a great deal on getting into the Evil League of Evil

It only cost him a Penny


I'm having trouble organizing a Hide and Seek league.

Good players are hard to find.

Why do the french hate League of Legends?

They have to wait 20 minutes before surrendering

I think I want to take up acting...

Does anyone know of a local soccer league I could join?

The Justice League has a vacancy and the number 7 is interviewing to fill a superhero position...

Batman: Thank you for coming, 7. Its been rough since the Flash took off and we're having a hard time finding someone to replace him. Let's get right to it. What is your first power?


Number 7: Well, for my whole life I've been in prime condition and I don't anticipate that changing anytime soon.


Bathman: That's great to hear. What do you consider your second power to be?


Number 7: 49

The most toxic substances known to mankind.

1. Arsenic
2. Cyanide
3. Polonium
4. Mercury
5. The League of Legends community

More NFL news

NFL CUTS ONE TEAM

The NFL announced today that for financial reasons they had to eliminate one team from the league.

They've decided to combine the Green Bay Packers and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and form one team, causing many layoffs but saving millions of dollars in costs.

They will be known as the TAMPACKS.

Unfortunately, they're only good for one period and have no second string.

I was having problems with my computer

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Joshua, the 11 year old next door, who plays League of Legends every day, all night long.

Joshua clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"

He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An ID Ten T error?

What's that? In case I need to fix it again."

Joshua grinned, "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"

"No", I replied.

"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."

So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T

I used to like that little boy.

A Texan went to an ivy league party on the East coast...

...and there's this group of fancy ladies standing around.

"Howdy," he said. "Which school did y'all go to?"

"Oh... Yale," one of them replied daintily.

'WHICH SCHOOL DID Y'ALL GO TO?!"


Why are Helium, Curium and Barium called the medical elements?

Because if you can't Helium or Curium, you Barium.
(Heard it from Heimerdinger, League of Legends)

My friend redeems himself after getting shot down...

My coworker was hitting on these two women who were way put of his league. They tolerated him for a while thinking he would go away, but he was persistent to the point that they were getting visibly agitated.

Thinking she would put him in his place, one of the women finally said, "Look buddy, I'm sure you're great, but my friend and I only date guys with 10-inch dicks."

I was getting that feeling in my stomach that guys get when they watch a friend get shot down and utterly humiliated. Then my friend replied, "Hey lady, I don't care who y'all are, I ain't holding back two inches for nobody!"

He got their numbers.

A buddy asked if I was pro gay...

I'm not even amateur gay; I didn't even know they had a league!

1978: UK's prince marries, Liverpool wins the Champions League, the Pope dies.

2005: UK's prince marries, Liverpool wins the Champions League, the Pope dies.

2018: UK's prince marries, Liverpool is in the Champions League final, and the Pope is cheering for Real Madrid like a madman.

There are people out there who don't know what World of Warcraft and League of Legends are

WoW, LoL

I went on a date with a girl who was clearly out of my league.

But she'd heard that I was going to see a movie she wanted to see, and we made a date of it.

On the way over I thought I might get lucky so I went to the drug store and bought a box of condoms.

When I stopped at her house, her family invited me to dinner. I asked if I could say the blessing on the dinner. I prayed for about ten minutes, the holiest prayer I could think of.

On the way out to the car, she quipped "I never knew you were so religious!" I replied, "I never knew your dad was a pharmacist."

What super hero league would Caitlyn Jenner be a member of?

The X men!

My school did a performance called League of Legends.

It was a play on wards.

Jungle animals started a softball league...

The teams are separated by species.

A colorful long beaked bird, not sure where to go, asked an old monkey umpire, where his team was playing.

He replied, "Mongoose vs snakes are on field 1, ants vs frogs play on field 2..."

"Quit monkeying around", the bird chuckled, "I just want to know which field I'm on."

"Species puns, huh?" he replied, "Well toucan play at that game."

Football and accountancy in one joke

A Sunday League football team is desperate for players. So desperate in fact that one Sunday they are forced to play a chicken. Rather surprisingly the chicken has a brilliant first half. One minute it's clearing off its own line, the next threading the perfect through ball, the next putting in a perfect cross.

At half time all its team-mates are very pleased and everyone runs back onto the pitch for the second half.

On the way the ref starts chatting with the chicken.

"Great first half mate, you must be really fit".

"Thanks", replied the chicken, "I try to keep myself fit but its difficult finding the time so I try to do an hour in the gym each morning before work".

"What do you do then?" asked the ref.

"I'm a chartered accountant" replies the chicken.

At this point the ref immediately brandishes the red card and sends the chicken off. The bemused team-mates gather round the ref and start complaining.

"Sorry lads", says the ref, "I had no choice - *Professional fowl*".

Many years ago, a middle-aged couple took in a young woman boarder.

When she asked to take a bath, the woman of the house told her, "We don't have a bathtub but you're welcome to use the washtub in front of the fire. Monday nights would be best; my husband bowls every Monday."
The following Monday, when the husband had left for his bowling league, the housewife filled the washtub and watched as the young girl undressed.
She noticed with surprise that the girl had no pubic hair. When she told her husband later that night he didn't believe her, so she said, "Next Monday, before you go off to bowling, I'll leave a little gap in the curtains and you can sneak back in to see for yourself."
This week, as the girl undressed, the wife asked, "Do you shave yourself down there?"
"No," replied the girl, "I've just never grown any hair there. Do you have hair there?"
"Oh, yes," said the woman and she showed it to her.
After the husband came home from bowling, the wife asked him, "So? Did you see it?"
"Yes, and you were right," he said. "But why did you show her yours?"
"Why not?" she replied, "It's nothing you haven't seen before."
He replied, "True, but it was sure a surprise to my bowling team!"

Yo Mamma so ugly...

Yo momma so ugly that we created a global conspiracy "plandemic" and ruined the world economy and expedited the new world order and ruined Trump's rally and banned the Confederate flag from nascar and cancelled major league baseball just so she'd wear a mask.

The girl I like really loves orange soda. Sadly, she's way out of my league.

Is this a Crush, or just a Fanta-sy?

Poetry Competition

The two finalists at the annual poetry competition were an Ivy League college graduate and a redneck. The final stage of the competition was to write a rhyming poem using the word *Timbuktu.* The college graduate stands up to the microphone and starts.

>A desert caravan astray beneath a dusk deep blue

>On a path unknown the camels walk two by two

>Men search the stars for a bearing true

>Destination Timbuktu

The crowd erupted with applause then settled back into their seats. The redneck approaches the microphone, clears his throat and begins to speak.

>Me n' Tim a huntin' went

>Met three whores in a pop up tent

>They was three and we was two

>So I buck'd one and Tim-buck'd-two





Why does the National Football League deserve Tax-Exempt Status even though it generated at least $9 billion in revenue last season?

Because it is just as real as the other religions.

As told by the 80-something year-old man at golf league.

My wife and I were driving home from dinner one night when I hit a small animal. "Pull over and see if it's all right." my wife insisted. Turns out that I had hit a baby skunk. My wife, an animal lover, picked up the hurt baby skunk and told me to drive to the animal hospital. As we were driving, she noticed the baby skunk was cold and shaking.

"What should I do?" she asked.

"Put the baby skunk between your legs, it's warm there.", I told her.

"But what about the smell?" she asked.

"Oh don't worry, he'll get used to it."

The Social Justice League doesn't have a Batmobile

They have a tumbler.

How can you tell a gamer from a rugby player?

Ask them if they play league.

Why don't Junior League debutantes engage in group sex?

Too many thank you notes to write afterwards.

I just googled "Superman football stats," and it didn't have his FA cup stats...

...just his league

Did you hear about Nursing Home Sports League

Everyone gets atrophy at the end of the season.

Why can't League of Legends players donate blood?

They have too much salt.

Liverpool just won the league and the government are paying people without doing work

Somewhere out there, there's a scouser with a genie in a lamp deciding what to do with his last wish

I felt betrayed when my girlfriend joined a softball league without telling me

Of all the underhanded things...

Mexican Basketball Association

Why is the Mexican Basketball Association so unpopular?

Beacause it's a Juan on Juan league.

Where does a toxicologist go to get the best possible education?

A Poison Ivy League College.

Did you all hear about the new snail racing league?

Yeah, it's called NASCARGOT

What is a double amputee's favorite video game?

League of Leg ends.

I once made an error in little league,

When I signed up to play.

Why did Plastic Man get kicked out of Justice League?

He was accused of rubbery

Met a really hot girl last night, but my buddies we're telling me "Forget her, dude, she's way out of your league".

I'm going "Oh, you think she's too pretty for me?". They're saying "No not that, it's just that she's in the Minors".

A little boy and a little girl were walking home from school...

The little boy says to the little girl, "This weekend, my dad's gonna take me to ride a horse!"

The little girl says, "Oh, I have my own pony."

They walk a little further.

The little boy again pipes up, "Next weekend, my dad's taking me to a baseball game!"

The little girl replies, "My uncle plays major league baseball."

The boy scowls as they continue to walking.

Finally in frustration, the little boy pulls down his pants and yells
"Well, I've got one of these and you don't!"

The little girl calmly lifts her dress and replies "I have one of these, and with one of these, I can get all of those I want."

Where do college students go for medical attention?

An I.V. League.

Did you hear that Nightblue3 and Eminem played League of Legends together yesterday?

Eminem got one shot

When does a regular joke become a dad joke?

When the punchline becomes apparent. Except for the fact it decided to stop being one and mysteriously vanished one night, cleaned out our joint bank account, never calls, never showed up to court, never remembers the kids' birthdays, never made their little league games, refuses to pay child support, refuses to get a job to avoid wage garnishment, and yet somehow manages to go on vacations to Mexico with their floozy 20-year-old girlfriend Chastity. F**K YOU, ALAN!!!

1978: Wales win Grand Slam, Liverpool win European Cup, pope dies.

1981: Prince Charles marries, Liverpool win European Cup, pope shot.

2005: Prince Charles marries, Liverpool reaches Champions League semis, pope dies.

2018: Prince Harry marries, Liverpool reaches Champions League final, it's probably time to warn the pope.

What is Kim Jong Un's favorite video game?

Rocket League

Do you know the reason all the bat boys in major league baseball are replaced when they turn 18?

Because otherwise you'd have to call him Batman.

The International League of Bakers is inviting countries which mainly export baked goods to join.

They're accepting dough nations.

A group of mediators decide to set up a league. They are not concerned with what was, nor with what will-be. There are concerned with what just-is

a just-is league if you will

What do you call people who design icons in League of Legends?

Lolicons.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes