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Leader Kim Jokes

31 leader kim jokes and hilarious leader kim puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about leader kim that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Leader Kim Short Jokes

Short leader kim jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The leader kim humour may include short dictator kim jokes also.

  1. BREAKING: North korean leader in a vegetative state following surgery. They've begun calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive

  2. Why did Kim Jong-il die a week before December 25th?

    Because Rudolph is the only deer leader at Christmas.
  3. North Korea's leader has been suspiciously absent, arousing concerns from his followers who all wonder... ...Is Kim Jong ill?
  4. What's the difference between Kim Jong Un and Hillary Clinton? One is called "The Great Leader" and the other, "Great Deleter"
  5. BREAKING NEWS: The leader of North Korea, Kim Jong-un, is brain-dead following an invasive medical procedure. Officials praise the regime for finding common grounds with the US.
  6. North Korean doctors when giving their leader a CPR be like : Kim Jong Un.. *Dos.. Tres...*
  7. Apparently Kim Jong un is Brain dead Which makes north Korea, the UK and USA all with brain dead leaders
  8. What's the difference between Santa Clause, Kim Jong Un, and 34 ounces of printer ink? One's a deer leader, one is a Dear Leader, and the other is a dear liter.

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Leader Kim One Liners

Which leader kim one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with leader kim? I can suggest the ones about kim il and kim jong il.

  1. Once the North Korean leader dies, who will take his place? His next of Kim
  2. Who is the Supreme leader of House Techno Music? Kim Jong Untz-untz-untz-untz
  3. What did the leaders of China and N. Korea order for lunch at their meeting Kim-Xi
  4. Thanks to Kim Jong-un.... Donald Trump is only the second most brain dead world leader...
  5. Why does hypebeasts love Kim Jung-Un? He's their Supreme leader
  6. What do Kim Jong-un and James Jebbia have in common? They are both supreme leaders

Uproarious Leader Kim Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time

What funny jokes about leader kim you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean kim jong jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make leader kim pranks.

Kim Jong-Un walks into a school in North Korea.

He asks a student "Who is your father?
The student replies "The Supreme Leader, infinite in wisdom and kindness, provider and protector of the Koreans, he is our only father."
Kim Jong beams. "Excellent. Now tell me who is your mother?"
The student doesn't hesitate. "The Land of True Korea, outstanding in her beauty, international superpower, and redeemer of all civilisations, she is our only mother."
Kim Jong applauses. "What a diligent student you are. What do you want to be when you're older?"
The student replies "An orphan."

A North-Korean officer pulls out a megaphone at the North and South Korean border and yells "Kim Jong-Un is an idiot!" and gets sent to 31 years in a labor camp.

1 year for insulting the Dear Leader and 30 years for revealing a state secret.

A North Korean soldier runs across the DMZ and yells to the US Army "Kim Jong Un is an idiot!" and gets thrown in a labor camp for 16 years by the government.

1 year for insulting the Dear Leader and the other 15 for revealing a state secret.

Kim Jong Un and Vladimir Putin were having a meeting in a 20-story building.

During a break the two leaders made a bet about the loyalty of their guards.
First, Putin called his guard Ivan into the room, opened the window and said, "Ivan, jump down."
Ivan replied in tears, "Mr. President, how could you do this to me? I have a wife and a son."
Putin explained that he was only joking, and let Ivan out.
Then Kim Jong-Un called his guard Lee, and told him to jump. Lee started running toward the window.
Putin grabbed him and said, "Are you crazy? You will die if you jump!"
Struggling, Lee replied, "Let me go! I have a wife and a son!"

I was talking to a North Korean about freedom

I told him, "You know what's the best thing about freedom? If I ever see President Trump, I can shout, 'Hey Mr. President, you're an a**...!'"
The North Korean answered, "I have that freedom too. If I ever see President Kim, I can shout, 'Hey Supreme Leader, Donald Trump is an a**...!'"

A sociopathic egomaniac...

A sociopathic egomaniac authoritarian leader accused of causing the deaths of tens of thousands is brain dead. Meanwhile in North Korea, Kim Jong Un is reported to be in critical condition.

This feels like it could be a comedy bit, for how different leaders would solve the issue:

Obama: snaps the cookie in half
Putin: Forces the cookie in the glass
Kim Jong-Un: Cookie baker and glass maker are put to death
David Cameron: pours some milk onto the cookie. Doesn't work very well, spills milk. Written into policy anyway.
Someone else: Eats the cookie, then drinks the milk
etc. I don't know enough about politics to make this topical.

Kim-Jong un wanted to know what his citizens thought of him, so he disguised himself as a regular citizen and went out.

In the streets of Pyongyang, he approached a man and asked, "What you think of our Great Leader?"
The man, not knowing that he was speaking to Kim, said: "Follow me. I don't want anyone to hear me."
He took Kim to a dark, quiet alley where no one will hear. Kim then repeated the question, "What do you think of our Great Leader?"
The man then went closer, whispered in his ears, "I support our Great Leader!"

Kim Jong Un and Vladimir Putin were having a meeting in a 20 story building.

During a break the two leaders made a bet about the loyalty of their guards.
First, Putin called his guard Ivan into the room, opened the window and said, "Ivan, jump down."
Ivan replied in tears, "Mr. President, how could you do this to me? I have a wife and a son."
Putin explained that he was only joking, and let Ivan out.
Then Kim Jong-Un called his guard Lee, and told him to jump. Lee started running
toward the window.
Putin grabbed him and said, "Are you crazy? You will die if you jump!"
Struggling, Lee replied, "Let me go! I have a wife and a son!"

God gathers the leaders of every nation

to tell them that the world is going to end in a week, and that they must inform their countrymen and women. Shocked, the leaders return home wondering how to best break the news. The next day, they all hold press conferences.
Barack Obama: "I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that God exists, but the bad news is that the world will end in less than a week."
Robert Mugabe: "I have only bad news. God exists and the world will end in less than a week."
Kim Jong-Un: "I have great news! I am on a first name basis with God, and He told me I would rule until the end of the world!"

The Glorious Leader visits a pig farm

Kim Jong-Un visits a pig farm and has the obligatory p**... photo taken.
Later, three editors for the Pyongyang Times are facing the task of finding an appropriate caption.
#1: "How about 'The Glorious Leader among pigs'?"
#2: "Are you mad? That could cost us our heads!"
#3: "How's 'Even the farm animals look up to our Dear Leader'?"
#2: "No, no, no. Could be misinterpreted. We need something neutral."
They debate the entire evening.
The caption on the following day's issue simply states, "Kim Jong-Un, third from left."