Following is our collection of funny Lbs jokes. There are some lbs weight jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these lbs mil puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
To destroy the lbs.
"No way. That's impossible!" she said.
"Trust me," I said, "I have no idea where our baby is."
It was Won Ton.
I asked what she had in mind.
"Let's play doctor", she said.
I told her to go in the bedroom, shut the door, take off all of her clothes and wait on the bed for me.
After a half an hour I walked in, told her to lose 20 lbs. and handed her a bill for $300.
only 13 lbs. to go!"
By getting a divorce.
The girl's husband was getting a bit tubby round the middle, so she decided to tempt him to do something about it.
"Honey," she said, "if you lose 20 lbs, I'll do a sexy striptease for you."
Cruelly, he replied, "And if you lose 20 lbs, I'll watch."
or 5 Tinder matches...
To be fair, it took around 20 lbs of it and we had to drop it on him a few times.
Put a nipple on it.
A buddy of mine has two tickets for the 2017 Super Bowl. Box seats plus airfare, accommodation, etc., but he didn't realize when he bought them that this is going to be on the same day as his wedding - so he can't go.
If you're interested and want to go instead of him, it's at St. Peter's Church, in New York City, at 5 p.m. Her name's Louise. She's 5' 6", about 120 lbs., good cook, makes $130,000 a year! She will be the one in the white dress."
*this was forwarded to me by my dad just now, never heard before, thought was worthwhile for a chuckle.
You can explore lbs nipple reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean lbs weigh dad jokes. There are also lbs puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says, 'What a great chest you have!'
He tells her, 'That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, baby.'
He takes off his pants and the blonde says, 'What massive calves you have!'
The body builder tells her, 'That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, baby.'
He then removes his underwear, and the blonde goes running out of the apartment screaming in fear.
The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her. He catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that.
The blonde replies, 'I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was
My cousin has two tickets for the 2017 SUPER BOWL, both box seats. He paid $2,500 each ticket, but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding.
If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place... It's at St. Joseph Church, in Warwick, RI at 3 p.m. Her name is Amanda. She's 5'2, about 130 lbs. She's a good cook, too. She'll be the one in the white dress.
The worker replied, "No, they're all dead."
No, I'm not fat. I'm just not on the right planet.
Finally signed the divorce papers
10 lbs of pressure on the back of the head.
Both box seats. He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place...It's at St Christopher's Church, in Baldwin at 3pm. Her name is Ashley, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, good cook too.....She'll be the one in the white dress.
So they can own the lbs.
That's a lot of wait!
200 lbs of feathers,
Because 200 lbs of bricks are just that, 200 lbs of feathers you have to carry the weight of what you did to all those birds.
The divorce papers are finalized today.
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.
To own the lbs!
Those drug lords are gonna kill me.
Because there was a weigh in the manger.
She lost 120 lbs.
I've only got 40 lbs. to go
If she's over 180 lbs, she's already Plan B!
A couple days later, my fiance said that she is definitely my daughter, I asked her why she said that, and she responded with, cause she came early.
My wife is down 80 Lbs.
Not sure where to post this.
About 6 months ago, my now 5 year old daughter came into mine and my fiance's room, and started screaming saying she was missing her thumb. It took me a minute to realize what was going on.
A little backstory, my 5 year old daughter was born about 6 weeks early, and weighed 3 lbs even, she was and is also missing her thumb on her right hand.
This girl is going to have a very twisted sense of humor, just like me.
They're a four-chin teller.
I didn't tell her they were each 500 lbs
Put a nipple on it.
The flu.
...so I stopped eating cameras.
Anyone know how I can lose 50lbs in an hour and fifteen minutes?
That weighed 280 lbs on Tinder
but it costs an arm and a leg
Nipples.
Divorce
7 lbs. 9 oz.
I guess that would make him a metamorphic Rock.
I've heard he's a man-a-tea now.
To which she replies without hesitation: "Yeah too bad the fuse is too short..."
The 10 pounds of feathers is heavier. Because you have to carry the burden of what you did to those poor birds.
You monster!
The other 50% is telling you how to lose 5 lbs in a week.
- "What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping Tom? A pickpocket snatches watches."
- "I've realized the importance of black. If you want to know how important black is, go to Las Vegas and get some white chips and get some black chips. You could have 70 lbs of white chips and can't get out of town. You get 2 lbs of black chips, you can go to Madrid."
- "We were poor. If I wasn't a boy, I wouldn't have had nothing to play with."
...Is the freshman 9 lbs., 3 oz.
Won ton soup
Turns out I'm diabetic...
Divorce.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the lbs gram jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working lbs ton piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.