Lazy Jokes

Funniest Lazy Short Jokes

Short lazy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lazy humour may include short slack jokes also.

1. I dated a girl with a lazy eye once. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
2. If laziness was an Olympic sport. I'd come in fourth so I wouldn't have to walk up to the podium.
3. A toast Wife at the dinner table: Please toast some bread for me.
   The lazy husband raised his wine glass and said, "To bread."
4. I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. I had to break up with her. She was seeing somebody on the side.
5. The scientific term for lazy eye is atchaphoria. One eye is looking atcha and the other is looking phoria.
6. I should have suspected my husband was lazy; on our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch."
7. My gf told me I should not say anything about her friend's right lazy eye When I met her friend I complimented her on how athletic her left eye was
8. Doctor gave me 3 months to live... I'm so lazy I missed the deadline, that was 4 months ago.
9. Why was the lazy-eyed man a horrible teacher? Because he couldn't control his pupils.
10. Why should you never date someone with a lazy-eye? Because you never know if they're seeing someone else.

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Lazy One Liners

Which lazy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lazy? I can suggest the ones about idle and weak.

1. I hate when my girlfriend gets mad at me for being lazy It's not like I did anything
2. Interviewer - Okay, describe yourself in 3 words Lazy
3. My laziness is like the number 8. Once it lies down, it becomes infinite.
4. Somebody said today that I'm lazy. I nearly answered him.
5. Don't be mad at lazy people. They didn't do anything.
6. If you had to describe yourself in three words, what would they be? Lazy.
7. Why are people so angry at lazy people? We haven't done anything???
8. It's not my fault that I'm lazy. It walks in the family.
9. What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo? A pouch potato.
10. What's with the hate towards lazy people? They haven't done anything!
11. I entered a laziness competition and placed first. I got atrophy.
12. Thought of starting an origami business but too lazy to do all the paperwork involved.
13. I just broke up with my lazy gym buddy. Didn't work out.
14. I can descirbe myself in just two words. Lazy.
15. My boss asked me to describe myself in 3 words... I said "Quite lazy."

I Am Lazy Jokes

Here is a list of funny i am lazy jokes and even better i am lazy puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What do you call a lazy lizard? A procrastigator.
• My grandfather told me that teenagers have become so lazy because of technology. "They're not the only ones," I said, looking at his mobility scooter.
• What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo? A pouch potato!
• My son said, "Thanks for giving me tips on how to be less lazy." I said, "It's the least I could do."
• My girlfriend recently developed a lazy eye. I think she started seeing people on the side.
• The average person has s**... 90 times a year. Man this going to be an epic new years eve!
• I just spoke to my lazy eye surgeon. I wish he was more energetic.
• Definition of laziness The art of taking rest before getting tired. Because prevention is better than cure.
• If there was an award for laziness... I'd make someone go get it for me.
• whats the best exercise for lazy people? diddly squats

So Lazy Jokes

Here is a list of funny so lazy jokes and even better so lazy puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Me...Lazy? Don't get me started!
• what does a lazy geologist have? a sedimentary lifestyle
• I am the best at being lazy and not moving. I'm so good at it that... I should get atrophy
• My wife just accused me of being lazy. I didn't do anything.
• Scientists have discovered the best way to cure laziness. Unfortunately nobody has bothered to read the article.
• Why are you guys getting so mad at lazy people? Theyre not doing anything
• People keep pushing me around and calling me lazy... I don't care what they say though this wheelchair is the best thing I ever bought!
• If I had a dollar for everytime someone over 50 said my generation was lazy. I could finally afford to pay someone for original jokes.
• What do you call a lazy baker? A loafer...
• If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me. How lazy are you?

Lazy Eye Jokes

Here is a list of funny lazy eye jokes and even better lazy eye puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I had a crush on a girl with a lazy eye..... We never hooked up, she was always seeing someone else.
• I recently dated a girl with a lazy eye. Had to dump her after a week though, I'm pretty sure she was seeing somebody on the side.
• I'm ginger, my birthday is on April fools day, I was born during a thunder storm, and I have a lazy eye... If anything, my life is a joke..
• I'm so lazy. I'm so lazy my mom gets onto me about sleeping all the time, she once asked me "Is sleeping all you're good at?"
  I said "Yea, I could do it with my eyes closed."
• Never go out with someone with lazy eye. They'll always be seeing someone else on the side.
• A woman with a lazy eye was having an affair.. They said she was seeing someone on the side.
• I was born with a lazy eye... ...and it spread to the rest of my body.
• My teacher My teacher had a lazy eye, she couldn't control her pupils.
• What do you call someone with a lazy eye and a clef pallet? Names
• There was a convention for lazy-eyed bachelors and bachelorettes. There was a massive turn out: Most of them ended with a perfect mate.... You could say that their eyes crossed in a crowded room.

Lazy People Jokes

Here is a list of funny lazy people jokes and even better lazy people puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What kind of work out do lazy people do? Diddly-squats
• People call me lazy because I sleep 13 hours a day But to be fair, Jesus slept for three days straight and that started a religion.
• I don't get how someone can hate on lazy people... ...they didn't do anything
• Why are people so annoyed with lazy people? They're not even doing anything!
• People who process expired passports are so lazy they're always cutting corners.
  (Joel Dommett)
• I've heard that 'obsessed' is a word lazy people use to describe 'dedication.' But I would never call my wife lazy.
• People from the neighborhood were complaining that their mailman was being super lazy. He was making all the babies, but the doctor was doing all of the deliveries.
• Would you like to see my BBC? It's a lazy fat cat and keeps superstitious people away.
• I don't hate lazy people anymore. Found someone else who does it for me.
• People call me lazy but really

Happy Lazy Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends

What funny jokes about lazy you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean slow jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lazy pranks.