Following is our collection of funniest Lazy jokes. There are some lazy slack jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these lazy sleepy puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
1. Stop being lazy.
It would have worked out, but then I realized she was seeing someone on the side.
Names.
Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
...they decided to split up into five groups to cover as much ground as possible.
One group headed West and Wessex was born.
A particularly lazy bunch decided to stay exactly at the meeting point and incorporate Middlesex.
Another went South to form Sussex, which is still exactly where they made it, while yet another formed Essex to the East.
Oh, nearly forgot about the very conservative pack who went North. Nobody heard from them again
Wife at the dinner table: Please toast some bread for me.
The lazy husband raised his wine glass and said, "To bread."
caught her seeing someone on the side though.
but I dumped her because she kept seeing people on the side.
When I met her friend I complimented her on how athletic her left eye was
It walks in the family.
Because he couldn't control his pupils.
You can explore lazy lighten reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean lazy btw dad jokes. There are also lazy puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Two lazy vultures had procrastinated on flying south for the winter until the first frost hit, then they got worried. "We better catch an airplane to Mexico, lets go to the airport!" So they take off down the road, and as luck would have it, they come across two dead road-killed opossums, that had started to get nice and smelly, just like vultures like them. "What luck, we better take these with us, I heard the airlines don't offer meals on the flight anymore." So they each grab a dead opossum, tuck it under their wing, and head on to the terminal. They walk up to the ticket counter and tell they lady "We'd like two tickets to Cancun, please."
"Very well," she says, "Will you be checking any bags?"
"No," say the vultures, holding up the dead opossum carcasses, "we only have carrion."
You were too lazy to read that number.
A procrastigator.
She was seeing somebody on the side.
You were too lazy to read that number.
1. Lazy
Turns out she was seeing someone on the side.
Lazy.
Unfortunately I had to break up with her because she was seeing someone else on the side.
So i went home to it and said "You're fat and lazy."
Sleighs 'em
Husband asking the wife:
-Darling, do you want to come with me to the gym?
*-Are you saying I'm fat??*
-No, I was just thinking that we should maybe...
*-Are you saying I'm lazy??*
-No, no! Calm down, I didn't say that..
*-Why, you think I'm hysterical??*
-No, I wasn't saying that..
*-So you are calling me a liar now??*
-God no! You know what, I go alone then.
*-Wait a minute! Why do you want to go alone!?*
Diddly-squats.
Because she was seeing somebody on the side.
I broke up with her though, cos I'm pretty sure she was seeing someone on the side.
Credit to /u/MoreMajorSins for this awesome dad joke!
Turns out he was seeing chicks on the side.
It was going well for a few months until I realized she was seeing someone else.
Lazy
"They're not the only ones," I said, looking at his mobility scooter.
A loafer...
I'm so lazy I missed the deadline, that was 4 months ago.
I thought she was seeing someone on the side.
I nearly answered him.
Lazy
One eye is looking atcha and the other is looking phoria.
A difficult customer walked into the shop that Jim didn't want to deal with, so he grabbed a mop and pretended to clean up a mess.
The manager came over and asked him what he was doing. After telling him that he was cleaning, the manager said, "It doesn't look messy here."
To which Jim replied, "Why, thank you!"
I wish he was more energetic.
but then she started looking at me funny.
But when i go even faster on full-screen rhythm games on my iPad, I'm "lazy", "going to get carpal tunnel syndrome", "unproductive", and "ruining the funeral, Emily".
It didn't work out, turns out she was seeing someone else on the side.
A pouch potato.
Had to dump her tho. She was seeing someone on the side.
a sedimentary lifestyle
You were too lazy to read that number
"Lazy."
I said, "It's the least I could do."
Lazy
Theyre not doing anything
A procrastination
They can't control their pupils!
Lazy.
The doctor started a long and thorough examination, but found nothing wrong with me. When the examination was completed, I said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me" "Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just very lazy." "Okay," I said , "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife."
I think she started seeing people on the side.
Lazy
I could finally afford to pay someone for original jokes.
Me: Lazy
We broke up because she was seeing someone else the entire time.
We haven't done anything???
It's not like I did anything
A pouch potato!
lazy
They didn't do anything.
I mean we didn't do anything
His mom wanted to teach him a lesson about the benefits of waking up early.
She said: Son, i am going to tell you a little story and then i want you to tell me what did you learn from it ok?
Son: Ok
Mom: imagine two birds. First bird always wakes up early and can find bugs to feed himself and his family. The second bird wakes up late everyday and cant find anything to eat. So what did you learn from this.
Son: i learned that the bugs that wake up early gets eaten by birds
A procrastronaut
Didn't work out.
What did the the dancer say when he found proof:
he found evi-dance
What did the lazy person buy at the store?
A Nap-kin
What is a goldfishes favorite story?
Goldilocks
What did the musician say when he was safe?
I'm safe and SOUND.
What do butts like to push best?
Buttons
What dinosaur make the best music?
Rap-tors
What does pizza hate to get?
Pizzeria
In Soviet Russia, if you arrive to work late, you're shot for being lazy and leeching off the work of your peers.
If you arrive to work early, you are shot for trying to show up the work of peers and appear better than them.
If you arrive to work on time, you are shot for having a foreign watch.
Stay lazy, my friends
Because they didn't do anything.
Next morning He found Her asleep on the same spot and quickly went to the meat shop and bought a whole cow liver, went back home and carefully placed it right by her crotch and left to work.
When He came back home found His wife crying and had a pale face. He said whats wrong?
Wife: I lost my womb like You said
Husband: did it hurt?
Wife: didn't feel anything but it hurt like hell when I put it back in.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the lazy lazily jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working lazy yo mama so lazy piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.