Following is our collection of lighten humor and slack one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Lazy puns for adults, dirty btw jokes or clean sleepy gags for kids.
There is an abundance of lazily jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 71 funniest jokes on lazy. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any yo mama so lazy witze you can hear about lazy.
It's not like I did anything
Lazy
Lazy
You were too lazy to read that number.
Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
Lazy
Wife at the dinner table: Please toast some bread for me.
The lazy husband raised his wine glass and said, "To bread."
A difficult customer walked into the shop that Jim didn't want to deal with, so he grabbed a mop and pretended to clean up a mess.
The manager came over and asked him what he was doing. After telling him that he was cleaning, the manager said, "It doesn't look messy here."
To which Jim replied, "Why, thank you!"
1. Lazy
Turns out she was seeing someone on the side.
It would have worked out, but then I realized she was seeing someone on the side.
Lazy
but I dumped her because she kept seeing people on the side.
I nearly answered him.
It was going well for a few months until I realized she was seeing someone else.
She was seeing somebody on the side.
You were too lazy to read that number
They didn't do anything.
Names.
Husband asking the wife:
-Darling, do you want to come with me to the gym?
*-Are you saying I'm fat??*
-No, I was just thinking that we should maybe...
*-Are you saying I'm lazy??*
-No, no! Calm down, I didn't say that..
*-Why, you think I'm hysterical??*
-No, I wasn't saying that..
*-So you are calling me a liar now??*
-God no! You know what, I go alone then.
*-Wait a minute! Why do you want to go alone!?*
Unfortunately I had to break up with her because she was seeing someone else on the side.
One eye is looking atcha and the other is looking phoria.
They can't control their pupils!
Had to dump her tho. She was seeing someone on the side.
But when i go even faster on full-screen rhythm games on my iPad, I'm "lazy", "going to get carpal tunnel syndrome", "unproductive", and "ruining the funeral, Emily".ο»Ώ
We broke up because she was seeing someone else the entire time.
We haven't done anything???
It walks in the family.
"Lazy."
A pouch potato.
When I met her friend I complimented her on how athletic her left eye was
A procrastination
I'm so lazy I missed the deadline, that was 4 months ago.
Because she was seeing somebody on the side.
Two lazy vultures had procrastinated on flying south for the winter until the first frost hit, then they got worried. "We better catch an airplane to Mexico, lets go to the airport!" So they take off down the road, and as luck would have it, they come across two dead road-killed opossums, that had started to get nice and smelly, just like vultures like them. "What luck, we better take these with us, I heard the airlines don't offer meals on the flight anymore." So they each grab a dead opossum, tuck it under their wing, and head on to the terminal. They walk up to the ticket counter and tell they lady "We'd like two tickets to Cancun, please."
"Very well," she says, "Will you be checking any bags?"
"No," say the vultures, holding up the dead opossum carcasses, "we only have carrion."
Lazy.
lazy
I mean we didn't do anything
Diddly-squats.
Lazy.
I broke up with her though, cos I'm pretty sure she was seeing someone on the side.
Credit to /u/MoreMajorSins for this awesome dad joke!
Because he couldn't control his pupils.
A procrastigator.
Paddy Englishman and Paddy Irishman are walking along the beach together, when they come upon a lamp in the sand. Being familiar with such clichΓ©s, they picked up the lamp, rubbed it, and lo and behold a genie appeared before them.
"For releasing me from my prison, I shall grant you both one wish each."
Paddy Englishman goes first, and thinks silently for a moment:
"Well, genie, I love my country, and I'm sick of it being ruined by lazy immigrants who do nothing but live off of state benefits and handouts. I wish all the immigrants were gone from my country, and that it was just us English that lived there. Furthermore, I want a giant wall built around the coast and borders of England so nobody else can get in."
"Done" says the genie, and **poof** Paddy Englishman is back in England with the rest of his compatriots
"Genie," says Paddy Irishman, "tell me more of this giant wall surrounding England"
"Well, it's over a mile high and half a mile thick. Nothing can get in or out." the genie replied
Paddy Irishman thought for a moment, then looked to the genie and said:
"Fill it with water."
The doctor started a long and thorough examination, but found nothing wrong with me. When the examination was completed, I said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me" "Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just very lazy." "Okay," I said , "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife."
caught her seeing someone on the side though.
A pouch potato!
I said, "It's the least I could do."
God has realized that things aren't going so well in the general vicinity of the Balkans so he calls up an Albanian, a Grecian, and a Serbian to convince them to change their ways.
First he calls in the Grecian and says to them, "Your people have become so lazy in recent years! You're ruining everything I gave you! If you don't clean up your act, I'm going to push this here button and rain judgment on all of you." The Grecian runs out crying and afraid for the future of their people.
The Serbian is called in and God says, "Your people have been really aggressive and racist in recent years! You're ruining everything I gave you! If you don't clean up your act, I'm going to push this here button and rain judgment on all of you." The Serbian runs out fuming and angered about the future of their people.
The Albanian is finally called in and God says, "Your people are such thieves! You're stealing everything I gave to everyone else! If you don't clean up your act, I'm going to push this here button and rain judgment on all of you." The Albanian comes out smiling and the Grecian and Serbian ask them, "Didn't God say he would rain judgment on your people? Why are you smiling?"
To which the Albanian replies, "Yeah of course he did! But don't tell anyone that I've stolen his button."
I think she started seeing people on the side.
1. Stop being lazy.
I thought she was seeing someone on the side.
"They're not the only ones," I said, looking at his mobility scooter.
Turns out he was seeing chicks on the side.
...they decided to split up into five groups to cover as much ground as possible.
One group headed West and Wessex was born.
A particularly lazy bunch decided to stay exactly at the meeting point and incorporate Middlesex.
Another went South to form Sussex, which is still exactly where they made it, while yet another formed Essex to the East.
Oh, nearly forgot about the very conservative pack who went North. Nobody heard from them again
According to the tradition, the most lazy son inherits all wealth
"Come here, Paul", morigan says
The eldest one comes to him
"Yes, father"
"Imagine you see 500 francs and the wind blows it away. What will you do?"
"I won't do nothing. Why should I tire if there's no need?"
"Good boy. Good boy"
"Come here, Michelle", tycoon tells the second one to come
"Yes,father"
"Imagine that a naked passionate woman want to embrace you. What will you do?
"I won't make a movement. I don't want to get exhausted if there's no need"
"Good boy, good boy"
Finally, dying corsican addresses the third son
"Come here, Fransisco"
"No, you come to me"
Sorry for grammar, English isn't my native language
It didn't work out, turns out she was seeing someone else on the side.
I wish he was more energetic.
1.) Two kittens are on a roof which one falls off first?
The one with the lowest mew.
2.) what happens to electrons and they lose all the energy?
They become Bohred
3.) People call me lazy but I am just overflowing with potential energy.
4.) Did you hear about the man that was cooled absolute zero?
He is 0k now.
5.) I hear Chemistry jokes periodically, but Physics jokes have more potential.
6.) My Chemistry teacher threw Sodium Chlorite at me, is that considered a salt?
7.) ββ1 2Β³ Ξ£ Ο
It was very delicious.
Hope you enjoyed them.
a sedimentary lifestyle
but then she started looking at me funny.
Theyre not doing anything
Me: Lazy
A loafer...
I could finally afford to pay someone for original jokes.
Sleighs 'em
How lazy are you?
You were too lazy to read that number.
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.