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Lazy Eye Jokes

73 lazy eye jokes and hilarious lazy eye puns to laugh out loud. Read human body jokes about lazy eye that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Lazy eye jokes are a dime a dozen, but they're still funny! Check out our roundup of the best lazy eye jokes to make you laugh.

Funniest Lazy Eye Short Jokes

Short lazy eye jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lazy eye humour may include short lazy people jokes also.

  1. I dated a girl with a lazy eye once. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
  2. I just broke up with my girlfriend who had a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone on the side.
  3. So I was dating this girl with a lazy eye... It would have worked out, but then I realized she was seeing someone on the side.
  4. I used to date a girl with a lazy eye... but I dumped her because she kept seeing people on the side.
  5. I once dated a girl with a lazy eye, It was going well for a few months until I realized she was seeing someone else.
  6. I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. I had to break up with her. She was seeing somebody on the side.
  7. I was dating a girl with a lazy eye. Unfortunately I had to break up with her because she was seeing someone else on the side.
  8. The scientific term for lazy eye is atchaphoria. One eye is looking atcha and the other is looking phoria.
  9. I was dating a girl with a lazy eye. Had to dump her tho. She was seeing someone on the side.
  10. I once dated a girl with a lazy eye. We broke up because she was seeing someone else the entire time.

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Lazy Eye One Liners

Which lazy eye one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lazy eye? I can suggest the ones about lazy and laziness.

  1. What do you call a fat kid with 3 teeth and a lazy eye? Names.
  2. Why can't people with a lazy eye be teachers? They can't control their pupils!
  3. Why was the lazy-eyed man a horrible teacher? Because he couldn't control his pupils.
  4. I dated a girl with a lazy eye once... caught her seeing someone on the side though.
  5. I dumped my girlfriend who had a lazy eye I thought she was seeing someone on the side.
  6. I dumped my boyfriend with a lazy eye. Turns out he was seeing chicks on the side.
  7. I just spoke to my lazy eye surgeon. I wish he was more energetic.
  8. I dumped my lazy eyed g/f I think she was seeing someone else
  9. LAZY EYE never date a girl with lazy eye. theyre always seeing someone on the side
  10. Why did the lazy eyed teacher get fired? because he couldn't keep his pupils in check
  11. I've had it with my girlfriend and her lazy eye. She keeps seeing guys on the side.
  12. I was born with a lazy eye... ...and it spread to the rest of my body.
  13. My teacher My teacher had a lazy eye, she couldn't control her pupils.
  14. What do you call someone with a lazy eye and a clef pallet? Names
  15. I went on a date with a girl who had a lazy eye She wouldn't even look at me

Fun-Filled Lazy Eye Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle

What funny jokes about lazy eye you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean private eye jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lazy eye pranks.

My gf told me I should not say anything about her friend's right lazy eye

When I met her friend I complimented her on how athletic her left eye was

I saw a lazy-eyed person today, and to my shame I couldn't help but stare. I'm not sure if she noticed

but maybe one eye did.

I'm ginger, my birthday is on April fools day, I was born during a thunder storm, and I have a lazy eye... If anything, my life is a joke..

People with amblyopia don't have a lazy eye...

they have an eye with ADHD.

My wife is kind of lazy

We were watching an item on the news yesterday, about a wheelchair-bound quadriplegic who could play the (specially adapted) flute beautifully.
"Oh my god." She said, tears welling in her eyes, "I'd love to be able to do that."
"What, play the flute?" I asked.
"No, sit down all day."

There was a convention for lazy-eyed bachelors and bachelorettes. There was a massive turn out: Most of them ended with a perfect mate....

You could say that their eyes crossed in a crowded room.

I once had a girlfriend who had a lazy eye...

I had to dump her because she was seeing other people.

I used to date a girl with a lazy eye.

Had to break up with her, she kept looking at other guys.

I have a crush on a girl with a lazy eye

But she won't even look at me..

Why did the man break up with his girlfriend who had a lazy eye?

Because she was seeing somebody on the side.

I used to date a girl with a lazy eye

I broke up with her though, cos I'm pretty sure she was seeing someone on the side.
Credit to /u/MoreMajorSins for this awesome dad joke!

I have a really bad temper.

I once punched a man with a lazy eye just for looking at me wrong.

What does a Vietnam veteran with a lazy eye have?

A 2000 yard stare.

A woman with a lazy eye was having an affair..

They said she was seeing someone on the side.

Why should you never date someone with a lazy-eye?

Because you never know if they're seeing someone else.

I recently dated a girl with a lazy eye. Had to dump her after a week though,

I'm pretty sure she was seeing somebody on the side.

A man is walking down a hallway when he accidentally bumps into a woman with a lazy eye...

"Hey! Why don't you watch where you're going!" She exclaims. The man replies, "Why don't you go where you're watching?"

I have a hair lip, a big belly, and a lazy eye. What am I?

Ugly.

I had a crush on a girl with a lazy eye.....

We never hooked up, she was always seeing someone else.

A guy with a lazy eye is sitting at a bar...

drinking his sorrows away. The bartender notices the man is upset and asks, "What's wrong buddy?"
The guy says, "Well my wife left me, she thought I was seeing someone on the side."

A friend of mine told me a lazy eye can be s**...

but then she started looking at me funny.

I used to date someone with a lazy eye.

It didn't work out, turns out she was seeing someone else on the side.

People ask me if it's difficult dating a girl with a lazy eye

Not really I say, I just look past it.

Never go out with someone with lazy eye.

They'll always be seeing someone else on the side.

I was born without eyelids, so they created them from my f**......

Now I'm a little c**...-eyed.
My dad has a lazy eye and tells this joke when someone asks about it.

I'm so lazy.

I'm so lazy my mom gets onto me about sleeping all the time, she once asked me "Is sleeping all you're good at?"
I said "Yea, I could do it with my eyes closed."

My girlfriend recently developed a lazy eye.

I think she started seeing people on the side.

Did you hear about the guy with a lazy eye whose girlfriend broke up with him?

He was seeing another g**... the side.

Did I tell you about the guy who was dating a girl with a lazy eye?

The broke up because she was seeing someone on the side

Hear about the teacher with two lazy eyes?

Didn't last more then a day, couldn't control his pupils.

Husband: Do you love me?

Wife: Of course i love you, light of my life.
Husband: Would you love me even if i wronged you?
Wife: I will always love you, my darling.
Husband: But would you love me if i gambled away all our savings?
Wife: i would still love you, my precious husband.
Husband: what if i cheated on you, would you still love me?
Wife: of course. I will always love you, apple of my eye.
Husband: Ok. I forgot to turn on the dishwasher last night.
Wife: I HATE YOU, YOU LAZY, SELFISH IRRESPONSIBLE m**...!!

Why can't your trust dating a person with a lazy eye ?

Cuz you'd always have to worry they would be seeing someone on the side.

Asked my eye doctor if he had my test results. He said there's good news & bad news.

He said, The good news is we've discovered why you've been so lethargic & slovenly lately…The bad news is we've discovered your lazy eye has spread to the rest of your body.

jokes about lazy eye