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Laziness Jokes

46 laziness jokes and hilarious laziness puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about laziness that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Why settle for being productive when you can be lazy? These jokes are for those of us who would rather do nothing than something.

Funniest Laziness Short Jokes

Short laziness jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The laziness humour may include short lazy people jokes also.

  1. A recent worldwide survey showed that out of 2,146,703,436 people, 94% were too lazy to actually read that number.
  2. I dated a girl with a lazy eye once. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
  3. If laziness was an Olympic sport. I'd come in fourth so I wouldn't have to walk up to the podium.
  4. A toast Wife at the dinner table: Please toast some bread for me.
    The lazy husband raised his wine glass and said, "To bread."
  5. I just broke up with my girlfriend who had a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone on the side.
  6. So I was dating this girl with a lazy eye... It would have worked out, but then I realized she was seeing someone on the side.
  7. I used to date a girl with a lazy eye... but I dumped her because she kept seeing people on the side.
  8. I once dated a girl with a lazy eye, It was going well for a few months until I realized she was seeing someone else.
  9. I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. I had to break up with her. She was seeing somebody on the side.
  10. If laziness was an Olympic sport I would've placed 4th so I wouldn't have to climb the winners' stairs

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Laziness One Liners

Which laziness one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with laziness? I can suggest the ones about laziest and i am lazy.

  1. I hate when my girlfriend gets mad at me for being lazy It's not like I did anything
  2. Interviewer - Okay, describe yourself in 3 words Lazy
  3. My friend asked me to describe myself in 3 words... Lazy
  4. Lazy people fact #4564321564 You were too lazy to read that number.
  5. My teacher asked me to describe myself in 5 words... Lazy
  6. My laziness is like the number 8. Once it lies down, it becomes infinite.
  7. Describe yourself in 3 words: 1. Lazy
  8. My brother asked me to describe myself in 3 words... Lazy
  9. there's no need to be angry at lazy people they didn't do anything.
  10. Somebody said today that I'm lazy. I nearly answered him.
  11. Facts About Lazy People #389479305784 You were too lazy to read that number
  12. Don't be mad at lazy people. They didn't do anything.
  13. What do you call a fat kid with 3 teeth and a lazy eye? Names.
  14. Why can't people with a lazy eye be teachers? They can't control their pupils!
  15. The interviewer asked me, Describe yourself in three words. Lazy.

Height Of Laziness Jokes

Here is a list of funny height of laziness jokes and even better height of laziness puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What is height of Laziness?
    Adopting a child.
Laziness joke

Cheerful Fun Laziness Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy

What funny jokes about laziness you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean so lazy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make laziness pranks.

Jim was lazy, but boy was he clever.

A difficult customer walked into the shop that Jim didn't want to deal with, so he grabbed a mop and pretended to clean up a mess.
The manager came over and asked him what he was doing. After telling him that he was cleaning, the manager said, "It doesn't look messy here."
To which Jim replied, "Why, thank you!"

Marriage

Husband asking the wife:
-Darling, do you want to come with me to the gym?
*-Are you saying I'm fat??*
-No, I was just thinking that we should maybe...
*-Are you saying I'm lazy??*
-No, no! Calm down, I didn't say that..
*-Why, you think I'm hysterical??*
-No, I wasn't saying that..
*-So you are calling me a liar now??*
-God no! You know what, I go alone then.
*-Wait a minute! Why do you want to go alone!?*

I was dating a girl with a lazy eye.

Unfortunately I had to break up with her because she was seeing someone else on the side.

The scientific term for lazy eye is atchaphoria.

One eye is looking atcha and the other is looking phoria.

So there was this kid who was lazy and couldnt wake up early..

His mom wanted to teach him a lesson about the benefits of waking up early.
She said: Son, i am going to tell you a little story and then i want you to tell me what did you learn from it ok?

Son: Ok
Mom: imagine two birds. First bird always wakes up early and can find bugs to feed himself and his family. The second bird wakes up late everyday and cant find anything to eat. So what did you learn from this.
Son: i learned that the bugs that wake up early gets eaten by birds

Laziness joke, The interviewer asked me,  Describe yourself in three words.