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Lazily Jokes

4 lazily jokes and hilarious lazily puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lazily that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Hilarious Fun Lazily Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter

What is a good lazily joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

In a confession booth...

ME: I committed all seven deadly sins in 30 minutes.
PRIEST: Wow I gotta hear this.
ME: I was angry and envious at my neighbor so I lazily seduced his wife and ate all his groceries and I didn't share.
PRIEST: You forgot pride.
ME: No, Im pretty proud of this.

Whales

A large Humpback whale is lazily enjoying a beautiful day when he sees a female Humpback whale just a little ways off, and he thinks to himself that he's going to try to impress her...
He swims over to her, and breeches the surface, showing off the large h**... on his back.
She looked unimpressed as she breached and showed a larger more well formed h**... herself.
Now, a little embarrassed, he tries again to impress her by taking a breath and blowing a huge cloud of mist and water with a really nice rainbow in it.
Once again she looked unimpressed and she blew a larger cloud of mist, with a more beautiful rainbow.
Now clearly agitated, the Male sees a Navel vessel in the distance and races off toward it. Just before he collides with the ship, he dives, jumps out of the water and as he sails over the bow of the ship, he plucks a sailor off the deck and in one gulp swallows him whole!
He swam back to her very proud of himself, only to find the female object of his attentions with a disgusted look on her face...
As she swam off she said..."I'll h**..., I'll Blow, BUT I WON'T s**... s**...!

Dad tells his son to vacuum

*hears son lazily vacuuming *
dad:do it properly, if I wanted to hear loud noises but nothing being done I'd go to a feminist rally

A genie appears in front of a middle-aged wife at home.

"I can grant you one wish," the genie says.
"Well," the woman said thoughtfully, "My husband hasn't been fun in bed for a while... I want you to turn my old cat into a manly friend!" She points at an old, fat cat resting lazily on the couch.
"Granted," the genie says as he disappears, and the cat transforms into a handsome, muscular Brad Pitt clone.
The woman jumps into his arms. "Any words before we make sweet love?"
"Yes," says the man. "I bet you wish you hadn't neutered me."

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