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Lays Chips Jokes

54 lays chips jokes and hilarious lays chips puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lays chips that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Lays Chips Short Jokes

Short lays chips jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lays chips humour may include short lays potato chips jokes also.

  1. I know for a fact corporations are trying to put chips in our bodies Lay's and Ruffles are buy one get one free at the grocery store
  2. My father always complained about his firing from Lay's after being caught stealing produce. He always did have a huge chip on his shoulder.
  3. Remember past mistakes and never trust the voters to make good decisions... Southern Biscuits and Gravy was actually a finalist in the Lay's Chip Contest
  4. What do a bag of Lay's potato chips and the Milky Way have in common? They're both mostly empty space.
  5. What's the difference between Lay's and the Pfizer vaccine? The Pfizer vaccine has at least one chip in it.
  6. Scientists thought we would never have enough air to survive on the moon... ...then they opened a bag of Lays chips.
  7. A male potato chip steps up to the bar and buys a drink. He sees two female potato chips sitting nearby. He says to the one female potato chip, "Excuse me. Are you Herr's or Frito Lay?"
  8. The founder of the Lays potato chip company came to Hawaii the other day. As a welcoming gift, we gave him leis.
  9. A potato chip walks into a club... He sees a nice looking corn chip sitting at the bar. He goes up to her and asks " Are you frito-lay?" She says "No, 50 dollars."
  10. The year 2089 Its the year 2089 and humanity has found something that has infinite air sealed within it they call it:Lay's chip bags

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Lays Chips One Liners

Which lays chips one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lays chips? I can suggest the ones about chips and chip and dip.

  1. How does a male potato chip mate with a female potato chip? He Lay's on her.
  2. Why did the potato go to the chip factory? It was trying to get Lay-ed
  3. What did the corn chip say to the light bulb? Are you turned on? Because I'm Frito Lay
  4. Your mom is like a bag of chips... Frito Lay
  5. Yo' Mama is like a bag of chips: Fri-to-lay.
  6. What do conjoined twins and Lay's chips have in common? I betcha can't eat just one
  7. Yo mamma may not be all that, but she is like a bag of chips.. She's frito-lay
  8. What brand of potato chip do Matadors prefer? "Oh Lays"
  9. What does a chip do when it's late but can't sleep? It just lays there.
  10. What did the boy chip say to the girl chip? Are you Frito-Lay?
  11. A boy potato chip asks a girl potato chip "are you Wise or are you Frito-Lay?"
  12. Why should you eat potato chips? Cause you might get Lay'ed
  13. My stock in Frito-lay dropped today Let the chips fall where they may.
  14. Which city do Lay's chips see the most sales?
  15. What did the potato chip say to the battery?
    If you're Eveready, I'm Frito Lay.

Lays Chips Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about lays chips you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean chips and salsa jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lays chips pranks.

An old, old man was lying in his death bed upstairs.
His most favorite food in the world was chocolate chip cookies.
As he lay there, gasping for each breath, he was sure he could smell freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies.
He crawled out of bed and slowly limped down the stairs.
Sure enough, across the kitchen, there was a huge platter of chocolate chip cookies on the table.
He finally made it to the table and he reached a shaking hand towards the cookies.
Suddenly, his wife slapped his hand sharply and yelled, "DON’T TOUCH THOSE - they’re for the f**...!"

Lays chips claims "No one can eat just one".
Wrong.
Chuck Norris ate ONE, laughed then ate a whole bag of Doritos.

So there's a little guy sitting at a bar....(heard this years ago, hope it isn't a repost)

...when a much larger, muscular guy walks in who seems to have a chip on his shoulder. The big guy sits down next to the little guy and orders a beer, after a bit the big guy jumps up and completely out of nowhere punches the little guy, knocking him to the floor. "That's boxing, from Las Vegas."
The little guy picks himself up off the floor, dusts himself off, gets back on his stool and just quietly goes back to his drink. The big guy also sits back down, but after a few minutes he gets back up and kicks the little guy who slides all the way to the end of the bar. "That's karate, from Japan."
Again, the little fellow just quietly gets up, goes back to his seat, and resumes drinking. A few more minutes go by and the big fella gets up a third time, grabs the little dude, and throws him right into the door of the bar. "That's kung fu, from China."
This time, however, the little guy gets up and just walks out. After some time he walks back in, right up behind the big guy, and cracks him over the head, laying him unconscious in the floor. The little guy looks at the bartender and says "You tell that s**... when he wakes up that that was crowbar, from Sears and Roebuck."

The awesome power of a wife's love

A very old man lay dying in his bed. In death's doorway, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookie wafting up the stairs.
He gathered his remaining strength and lifted himself from the bed.
Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands. With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven.
There, spread out on newspapers on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies.

Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?
Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table.
The aged and withered hand, shaking, made its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when he was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife.

"Stay out of those," she said.
"They're for the f**...."

Guy goes golfing with his wife

An avid golf fan took his wife golfing, and was having the game of his life. They got to the 17th hole, a short par 4, and he hits his drive way left. When he finds his ball, it's behind a large shed that stands directly between the ball and the green.
Dismayed, he decides to lay up and hit a chip shot back into the fairway to go for bogey. Right before he hits, his wife comes up and says, "Wait wait, this shed has big double doors on each side! We can just open up both sides and you can hit your shot right through the shed and up onto the green!"
Encouraged by this idea, he takes the shot. The ball bounces off the front of the shed, hits his wife in the head and tragically kills her.
Years later, this guy plays this same course again, this time with a few of his buddies, and is once again having another once in a lifetime type of game. On the 17th hole, remembering what happened the last time, he nervously tees off and is heartbroken to see his ball follow a nearly identical path as the last time he played. He gets up to the ball and it's almost in the same spot, so he lines up to chip it back into the fairway. His buddy runs up and says, "Wait wait, this shed has big double doors on each side! We can just open up both sides and you can hit your shot right through the shed and up onto the green!"
The guy stares at him and says, "no way. last time I tried that, I triple bogeyed!"

My friend made a joke and wants to know if it's good. Let me know what you think

There is two doctors one old and one young, and the old doctor is teaching the younger doctor about house calls, they go to the first house and the old doctors like I'll teach you how it's done, and he asks the woman what's wrong? And the woman replies I've been full and not that hungry much . The doctor drops his stethoscope and looks around the trash and notices empty chip bags and candy rappers around the trash can. And the doctor than says you need to lay off the junk food. They leave and the older doctor explains to the younger doctor how he did it. And they go to the next house and the younger doctor says I'll try this one." the girl says she has been to tired lately. The younger doctor droped his stethoscope and and picked it up, and told the woman to lay off the church work and religion stuff. The lady said okay I'll try that and see how it works they leave and the older doctor asks how the did you do that one and the younger doctor said When I dropped my stethoscope I noticed the priest underneath her bed

A man with a terminal illness has gone home to die.

he is laying in his bed and after making his peace with God and man he is ready to send his soul to the hereafter. As he is drawing what will be his last breath he catches a whiff of his favorite smell in all the world...fresh baked chocolate chip cookies. So summoning a super human strength he rolls out of bed onto the floor, crawls to the top of the stairs, then head over heels he tumbles all the way downstairs. On his belly he drags himself into the kitchen. As he is laying there on the tile he can just see the edge of the cookies hanging over the counter. He reaches a weak hand up and then *KERRRWACK* right on his hand. He looks up and his wife is standing there holding a spatula. She says "STOP IT!!! Those are for the f**...".

Version of previous post.

One of the patrons at a bar opened a bag of potato chips and gave it to the bartender's dog. When the dog ate the contents of the bag, he lay down and started grooming his g**.... A guy says to his friend ''I wish I could do that.'' The friend replies ''Well give him a chip and maybe he will let you.''

What do you call a s**... potato chip?

A Free-to-lay

If I were making a new planet...

Its atmosphere would be Lay's Potato Chips.

What do m**... and Lay's potato chips have in common?

It's hard to stop with just one.
From Under the Dome (the book).

An old man was laying on his death bed

With only hours to live, he suddenly noticed the scent of chocolate chip cookies coming from the kitchen. With his last bit of energy, the old man pulled himself out from his bed, across the floor to the stairs, and down the stairs to the kitchen.
There, the old man's wife was baking chocolate chip cookies. With his last ounce of energy, the old man reached for a cookie. His wife, however, quickly smacked him across the back of his hand, and exclaimed, "Leave them alone, they're for the f**...!"

My friend brags about having s**... with potato chips

He keeps on telling me how many lays he's had.

What brand of chips is your mom's favorite?

Anything frito lay