Lay Jokes

151 lay jokes and hilarious lay puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lay that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Do you have a knack for finding humor in anything? Get in on the fun with these hilarious Lay joke collections! Perfect for long days with friends or family, you'll find yourself rolling with laughter as you sit, lay, or lie with these puns made of Frito Lay products. Get ready to start laughing!

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Short Lay Jokes
Lay One Liners
Lay Egg Jokes
Lay Eggs Jokes
Lay Dying Jokes
Lay Potato Jokes
Frito Lay Jokes
More Lay Jokes

Funniest Lay Short Jokes

Short lay jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lay humour may include short sit jokes also.

Give a man an egg and he'll eat for a day Breed a man that can lay an egg and suddenly you're taking science too far.
My girlfriend got a tattoo of a shell on her thigh Every time I lay my ear on it I can smell the sea.
What do you get if you cross an agnostic, a dyslexic and an insomniac? Someone who lays awake at night, wondering if there is a dog.
Interviewer: Is the glass half empty or half full? Applicant: It's completely full.
Interviewer: We'd be glad to hire you. Welcome to the Lays factory.
A bag of Frito Lays and a bra are the same... Once you open them you realize there's only half of what you thought inside
Did you know that if you take all the blood vessels from an average size human body and lay them out end to end You'll go to prison for a very long time.
My pet snake just lays around and won't move I think he's suffering from a reptile dysfunction
Did you hear the department of transportation is laying off thousands of workers? They invented a shovel that stands up by itself.
The saddest joke I've heard My wife ran off with my best friend...
Now, when I throw the stick, it just lays there.
What do men ànd hardwood flooring have in common? Lay 'em right the first time and you can walk all over them the rest of your life!

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Lay One Liners

Which lay one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lay? I can suggest the ones about lie and eggs.

The price of oil has dropped so far that... Exxon-Mobil had to lay off 25 Congressmen.
Why did Cruz pick Carly Fiorina as his running mate? To lay off his campaign staff.
What is Yoda's last name? Lay Hee Hoo
Where does a socialist bird lay its eggs? In a communest
How to get laid?? 1. Lay on bed.
2. Wait two hours.
3. Lay becomes past tense.
Politician (noun): Someone who will lay down your life for his country.
What do you get when a chicken lays its eggs on the top of a hill? Egg rolls.
TIL there is a rooster that lays eggs. The breed is Himalayan.
Girl, can I be your derivative? Because I want to lay on your curves at one point.
What do you call a quadriplegic laying on the floor? Matt.
Did you hear about the turban-wearing rapper? He was laying down some Sikh beats.
What sound do French chickens make when they lay eggs? OEUF!
What breed of roosters lay eggs Himalayan.
I don't usually lay down I'm not gonna lie
Why do chickens lay eggs? To confuse philosophers.

Lay Egg Jokes

Here is a list of funny lay egg jokes and even better lay egg puns that will make you laugh with friends.

A chicken and an egg are laying in bed... When the chicken sits up, lights a cigar and says " Well I guess that answers that question."
A chicken and an egg lay in bed smoking cigarettes. The egg says, "well, that answers that old question."
What does an evil chicken lay? Deviled eggs
Asked a hen how many eggs it lays daily? It said: two eggs
I said: Oh strange!
It said: what's strange? the fact that I lay two eggs?
I said: no, the fact that you talk
What do you call it when all the hens in the coup resign the same day from their jobs laying eggs? chicken tenders.
What do you give to a female fish that has trouble laying her eggs? a SEA-section
You Know It's Hot When ... Cows are giving evaporated milk ...
Chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs ...
Catfish are already fried when caught ...
Jehovah Witnesses start telemarketing ...
What kind of eggs do evil hens lay? Deviled eggs!
A chicken and an egg are laying in bed together The egg is smoking a cigarette. It turns to the chicken and says " I guess that answers that question"
What did the French ostrich say after laying a 4lb egg? Big oeuf

Lay Eggs Jokes

Here is a list of funny lay eggs jokes and even better lay eggs puns that will make you laugh with friends.

The chicken and the egg lay in bed together sharing a cigarette... The chicken turns to the egg and says, "well, I guess we answered that one."
Why did the chicken lay its egg on the mountain? It wanted to make an egg-roll.
My chickens were laying to many eggs so I had to sell their coop. They now have a chicken sedan.
What did the evil chicken lay? Deviled eggs
What sound does a French hen make when it lays an egg? Oeuf.
The Chicken or The Egg A chicken and an egg are laying in bed.
The chicken is smoking a cigarette.
The egg rolls over in satisfaction and says, "Well, I guess we answered that question."
"Don't give me the chicken, instead teach me how to lay eggs." Once a wise man said.
What does an evil hen lay? Deviled eggs!
If a rooster lays an egg on a triangular roof, which side does it roll down? Neither! Roosters don't lay eggs!
Chicken and the egg A chicken and an egg were laying in bed and while the chicken was smoking a cigarette feeling satisfied, the egg rolls over frustrated and says "I guess that answers the question"

Lay Dying Jokes

Here is a list of funny lay dying jokes and even better lay dying puns that will make you laugh with friends.

My father passed away last night because we couldn't remember his blood type... ...As he lay there dying he kept on insisting us to 'be positive', but it's really hard without him.
Did you know: If you lay out a grown human's intestines end to end, They'll die.
Fun fact: if you take a man, remove all of his blood vessels and lay them out end to end... He'll die
Surprisingly true fact A recent study has shown that if a doctor surgically removes all of the veins from your body and lays them end to end, you will die.
What did King Kong say as he lay dying at the Dixieland Shakespeare Dinner Theater? Étouffée
Did you know that Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson use to be addicted to h**...? He almost died one day, until he finally decided to lay the s**... down.

Lay Potato Jokes

Here is a list of funny lay potato jokes and even better lay potato puns that will make you laugh with friends.

How does a male potato chip mate with a female potato chip? He Lay's on her.
What do a bag of Lay's potato chips and the Milky Way have in common? They're both mostly empty space.
Why did the potato go to the chip factory? It was trying to get Lay-ed
A male potato chip steps up to the bar and buys a drink. He sees two female potato chips sitting nearby. He says to the one female potato chip, "Excuse me. Are you Herr's or Frito Lay?"
What brand of potato chip do Matadors prefer? "Oh Lays"
A boy potato chip asks a girl potato chip "are you Wise or are you Frito-Lay?"
The founder of the Lays potato chip company came to Hawaii the other day. As a welcoming gift, we gave him leis.
Why should you eat potato chips? Cause you might get Lay'ed
A potato chip walks into a club... He sees a nice looking corn chip sitting at the bar. He goes up to her and asks " Are you frito-lay?" She says "No, 50 dollars."
What did the potato chip say to the battery?
If you're Eveready, I'm Frito Lay.

Frito Lay Jokes

Here is a list of funny frito lay jokes and even better frito lay puns that will make you laugh with friends.

What did the corn chip say to the light bulb? Are you turned on? Because I'm Frito Lay
Your mom is like a bag of chips... Frito Lay
Yo mamma may not be all that, but she is like a bag of chips.. She's frito-lay
What did the boy chip say to the girl chip? Are you Frito-Lay?
My stock in Frito-lay dropped today Let the chips fall where they may.
What brand of chips is your mom's favorite? Anything frito lay

The Funniest Lay Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh

What funny jokes about lay you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hardwood jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lay pranks.

I found my son hanging from a rope in his bedroom.

On the floor was a note saying, "I can't stand the critism anymore."
I quickly cut him down, gave him CPR and he started to breathe.
As he lay in my arms I saw his eyes slowly open and I said, "That's not how you spell criticism."

An 88-year old man came to the hospital and said to the doctor, Doctor, my 18 year old wife is pregnant with my child.

The doctor paused and said, There was a master bear shooter in a village. He never missed a shot.
But one day he was in a hurry, and took his umbrella instead of his rifle by mistake.
When he encountered a bear, he still didn't realize his mistake and pointed the umbrella and shot the bear.
The bear lay dead with a bullet in his heart!
The old man said, That's s**...! The bullet must have been shot by another person.
That's exactly right, said the doctor.

My little brother wanted to be treated like a prince...

...So I slit his t**... while he was sleeping to ensure he didn't lay claim to my crown.

My wife got excited because of a delivery she received

She got a new heavy-gauge wok that she had her eye on for a while. I asked her if she remembered to get the special footwear for it.
She looked puzzled for a moment. Then she sighed and said, "Okay, lay it on me. Tell me your dad joke."
I said, "I don't know what you mean by that, but it is my understanding that they have boots that are made for wokking."

Mother's Day

Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day morning. As she lay there looking forward to breakfast in bed, the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen.
But after a good long wait she finally went downstairs to investigate. She found them both sitting at the table eating bacon and eggs.
"As a surprise for Mother's Day," one explained, "we decided to cook our own breakfast."

Layoffs

The boss has to lay off one person from his department and he's narrowed the choice down to Ann or Jack. First he invites Ann in.
The boss says "I have a problem, I have to lay you or j**..."
"You better j**..., I've got a headache"

The boss of a small company has two employees, Jack and Jill…

Just recently the company has been doing badly, so the boss decides one of them must go.
Arriving at his office on Monday, the first person he sees is Jill, so he asks her to step into his office and explains his dilemma.
"Look Jill, I'm afraid I'm going to have to lay you or j**...."
Jill replies, "You'll have to j**... then, 'cause I've got a headache."

Jack and Jill work together in an office...

Things are getting very slow and the manager realizes he has to let one of them go but he can't decide. The manager approaches Jill and says "I have to lay you or j**...".
"j**...!" snaps Jill "I have a headache".

The blacksmith hires an apprentice

He instructed the boy, When I take the shoe out of the fire, I'll lay it on the anvil. When I nod my head, you hit it with the hammer.
The apprentice did exactly as he was told, and now he's the new village blacksmith

A pig goes to the doctors with swine flu.

The doctor gives him a leaflet for a therapeutic spa and tells him to go straight there.
When he gets there he's instructed to lay in a shallow bath of salt and sugar.
He chuckles to himself and thinks, "what's this supposed to do, cure me!"

Men are like floor tiles...

Lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for years.

I wish everyone would lay off Lance Armstrong. What an amazing achievement to recover from testicular cancer and win the tour de France 7 consecutive times. I don't care he used drugs....

when I was on drugs I couldn't even find my bike.

What do men and tile floors have in common?

...if you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years.

My wife has a tattoo of a shell on the inside of her thigh...

It's a really weird thing, when you lay your ear on it you smell the sea.
- I hope it came off right, thats an old joke they tell in my country

The village blacksmith hired an enthusiastic new apprentice

His new apprentice was willing to work long, hard hours.
One day he instructed the boy, When I take the shoe out of the fire, I'll lay it on the anvil. When I nod my head, you hit it with the hammer.
The apprentice did exactly as he was told, and now he's the new village blacksmith.

During prayer request I asked the preacher to pray for my hearing.

He decided to bring me up in front of the church anoint me with oil and have the elders lay hands and pray over me.
When they finished the Precher asked how's my hearing?
I said idk it isn't til next week.

Two girls walking down the street when...

one sees her husband coming out of a floral shop with a bouquet of flowers. She says "Oh shoot, he's buying me flowers. I'll have to lay on my back for two days with my feet in the air. Her friend says "Would'nt it be easier to just buy a vase?

If a tree falls in the woods, and there are no English majors around to hear it...

does is lay on the ground, or lie?

Rita found her husband hanging in his bedroom one morning with a note on his bed reading I can't take the critism anymore.

She quickly cut the rope, brought him down and managed to revive him.
As her husband lay in her arms and slowly opened his eyes, she said emotionally my dear…that's NOT how you spell criticism!

A Fishing Tale

On the shore of the Indian Ocean a raggedy Indian fisherman lay dozing with a hat over his face. Beside him two fishing lines were stuck into the sand.
Up comes an American.
'What are you sleeping for?' says the American. 'You'd be better off catching fish.'
'What for?' asks the fisherman.
'What do you mean, what for? You'd catch some fish, you'd sell them and with the money you'd buy yourself a trawler.
The trawler would catch even more fish. You'd sell it and buy yourself an even bigger boat. You'd catch still more fish. You'd sell it.
Then you'd build yourself a fish processing factory . . . and get rich.
And then you could lie on the beach and sleep.'
The fisherman pulled his hat even further down over his face.
'But that's what I'm doing now.'

The number 8 goes to see a psychiatrist ...

The psychiatrist says, "Would you like to lay down on the couch?" and the number 8 replies, "No thank you, I don't want to be here forever."

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, Holmes said: Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?"

Watson said, "I see millions and millions of stars."
Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"
Watson: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorogically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes: "Somebody stole our tent."

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, the fire dwindling nearby, Holmes said: "Watson, look up and tell me what you see".
Watson said "I see a fantastic panorama of countless of stars".
Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"
Watson: "Astronomically, it suggests to me that if there are billions of other galaxies that have roughly similar stellar population densities as represented by my view, that, potentially, trillions of planets may be associated with such a galactic and, therefore, stellar population. Allowing for similar chemical distribution throughout the cosmos it may be reasonably implied that life-and possibly intelligent life-may well fill the universe.
Also, being a believer, theologically, it tells me that the vastness of space may be yet another suggestion of the greatness of God and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, the blackness of the sky and the crispness of the stellar images tells me that there is low humidity and stable air and therefore we are most likely to enjoy a beautiful day tomorrow.
Why? - What does it tell you, Mr. Holmes?"
Holmes: "Someone stole our tent".

Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation...

One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, "We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off." Dave looked at Mr. Smith and said, "Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I don't know whom to fire."
The next morning Dave waited for his employees to arrive. Barbara was the first to come in, so Dave said, "Barbara, I've got a problem. You see, I've got to lay you or j**... and I don't know what to do?" Barbara replied, "Well, you'd better j**.... I've got a headache."

Where ya from Sam?

A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in a theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The man groaned but didn't budge. The usher became impatient.
"Sir," the usher said, "if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."
Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager. In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police.
The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?" "Sam," the man moaned. "Where ya from, Sam?" the cop asked.
And with pain in his voice, Sam replied, "The balcony."

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip.

After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Watson awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Holmes, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Holmes replied, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Sherlock says
"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets."
"Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo."
"Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three."
"Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant."
"Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow."
"What does it tell you, Watson?"
Watson was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Holmes, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!

The Dying Man and the Cookies

An old man was on his death bed and had less than a day to live. As he lay there reflecting on his life, he smelled his favorite cookies in the kitchen. So using his last bit of will and effort, he dragged himself out of bed and crawled to the kitchen for a cookie. He sat down at the table and reached for one when his wife popped his hand with a wooden spoon: "Don't touch it! Those are for your f**...!"

An American, a Chinese, a Russian, a German and a Syrian passenger are on a train...

The American starts to toss legal documents out the train's window.
The German asks, "Vy are you doing zat?"
The American replies, "We have too much of these."
---
Then the Chinese begins throwing rice out the window.
The German asks, "Vy are you doing zat now?"
The Chinese replies, "We got lay too much of that lice."
---
The Russian then flicks dashcams and v**... out his window.
The German asks, "Vat's the matter vith those?"
The Russian replies, "They're too common where I'm from, comrade."
---
The German looks at the Syrian guy.
#The Syrian guy, nervous, exclaims, "Don't you fooking dare!"

I once went to climb Mount Everest...

... came across a local village farmer who said he had a rooster that could lay eggs.
I said, How is that possible?
He said, Himalayan Rooster
P.S I told that joke to a farm girl today and to all the other ag folk who clapped it made my day. Even if there's only two of you with enough cell service to have read it and laughed.

An elderly man is with his wife who is on her deathbed

As she lay there, she says to her husband, "Honey, I must tell you a secret before I die"
"Shh, there is nothing you need to tell me." the husband replies.
"No, I must tell you that I slept with your brother, best friend and the neighbor." the wife responds.
The husband says, "I know this. That is why I poisoned you. Now go to sleep, darling."

Sherlock and Watson take a vacation

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson pondered for a minute.
"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets."
"Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo."
"Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three."
"Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant."
"Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow."
"What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"

My girlfriend got a tattoo of a conch shell on her inner thigh...

Every time I lay my ear on it I can smell the ocean.
If I lie there long enough, I get c**... on my forehead.

Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac?

He lay awake in bed all night, wondering if there was really a dog.

Did you hear about the man who was using apples and oranges for flooring?

He started to lay them down when he realized it was fruit-tile.

Why are men are like floor tiles?

If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them the rest of your life.

A joke told to me by an ex-girlfriend

Why are men like linoleum floors?
Lay one right the first time and you can walk all over it the rest of your life.

As she lay there in screaming agony...

her body covered in fatal burns, Superman knew this was the first and last time he would try to undress a woman with his eyes.

I used to be a dyslexic insomniac agnostic...

I lay awake all night wondering if there was a dog

What does an insomniac, philosopher, atheist, dyslexic do at night?

Lay awake, contemplating the existence of Dog.

In a stunning case some call an a**... of power, a local police officer charged his own son with a crime, simply because the kid wouldn't lay down for his nap

The officer said the boy was resisting a rest.

the Bible says

"If a man is to lay with another man he should be s**...." in my experience it helps

A short, but funny one

A 103 year old man lay dying in his hospital bed and asks his wife Our seventh child always looked different from the other six. Did he have a different father?
His wife crying uncontrollably answers Yes
He asks Whose is it?
His wife replies Yours

I was walking in the park the other day, when

I suddenly saw the girl of my dreams. Our eyes locked and there was this instant spark between us and she instantly went weak at the knees and fell before me.
As we lay on the grass making love, I thought to myself. These stun guns are well worth the money.

I heard this one at school today

Jack and Amy both work for the same company. Their work is going fine until the economy falls and the company starts downsizing. The boss was given the option to fire one of them. He calls Amy into his office to break her the news. He says: "I'll either have to lay you or j**...".

My 8 year old son was in the garden playing football today, he tripped over his own feet and lay on the floor for 5 minutes, screaming and thrashing like he'd been beaten up.

I'm so proud of him, he's going to be in the Premier League one day :')

As I lay in my new girlfriend's bed...

As I lay in my new girlfriend's bed, I noticed four lines carved into the headboard.
"Is that how many men you've slept with?", I asked.
"Yes", she replied, "One thousand, one hundred and eleven."

what did the plank of wood say as it lay abandoned and immobile in a field for 50 years?

I'm board.

Latvian Dreamin'

Little boy go to father. Is midnight. Say boy, "Father! I dream I is Mr. Potato! Have big eyes and smile! Even having shoes! I wish I Mr. Potato for all ever!"
Man woke in midnight all sudden. Rubs eyes. Remembers boy dead by mule, and is no potato. Only cold. Is all dream. Lay back on dirt. No smiles. No shoes.

A blonde goes to her gynecologist...

A blonde goes to her gynecologist and tells the doctor that no matter how hard she and her husband have tried, she just can't get pregnant.
The doctor says, OK, t**... clothes and lay down on the table.
The blonde says, Um, all right. But I was really hoping to have my husband's baby.

Sometimes I lay awake In bed and stare up at the sky then think

Where the h**... did my roof go?

Old Man Jack married an old maid

Life had been hard on old Ethel. But they were truly in love, and their families agreed it was best for them to live out their final days in joy.
On their wedding night, Jack lay on the bed and watched his new bride undress.
She took out her glass eye and placed it in a velvet case.
Next, she removed her false teeth and put them in a glass of water.
Taking off her wig, she placed it on a small bust on the dresser.
She removed her prosthetic leg, and stood it beside the chair.
Jack finally spoke: "When you get to the part I'm waiting for, just toss it over."

My grandad gave me some sound advice as he lay on his deathbed.

It's worth spending money on good speakers, he told me.

When I lay down to go to sleep, I watch Hillary Clinton rallies

It is much more convenient than counting sheep individually.

My Grandad was the best drummer in the world

He used to practice 18 hours a day, seven days a week, every day of the year.
Morning, noon, and night he'd be b**... away with his sticks, so dedicated he was, he didn't even have a set of drums, preferring instead to play on old biscuit tins, bottles, anything he could lay his hands on.
He was still playing right up till the moment he died aged 86 when my grandmother stabbed him in the neck with a fork.

Cutback

Ellen and Jack worked for a small company owned by Bob.
Hard times hit and Bob was having to cut back.
He called a meeting and looking directly at Ellen stated I've got to lay you or j**....
Ellen replied Well you gonna have to j**... then, cause I got a headache.

A parrot accidentally swallowed a viagara tablet and went berserk

He started h**... everything he could lay his wings on .
The owner called the vet who said that the overheating could damage his brain so asked him to put the parrot in a freezer.
The owner somehow caught the parrot and forced into the freezer and forced it shut.
After 10 mins, he slowly opened only to find the parrot sweating profusely.
The owner asked 'why are you sweating?'.
The parrot said ' Do you know how hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken?'

p**... and Mary decide to try a 69

p**...'s never done it before so Mary says she'll show him.
She tells him to lay on the floor and squats over him.
As she's lowering herself down she farts. Apologizing, she tries again and farts again.
p**... jumps up and storms out, yelling "I'll be fooked if I'm hanging around for 67 more of em!"

Did you hear about the agnostic dyslexic insomniac?

He lay awake all night wondering if there really is a dog.

What did the ram say as his lover lay on her deathbed?

There will never be another ewe.

The village blacksmith found an apprentice willing to work long and hard.

The blacksmith told the boy, "When I take the shoes out of the fire, I'll lay them on the anvil, and when I nod my head, hit it with the hammer." The apprentice did as he was told.
Now he's the village blacksmith.

A concerned father asks his daughter if she is s**... active. She replies, "Not really, Dad...

I just sort of lay there

I always wanted to lay n**... on a bearskin rug in front of a fireplace...

Evidently c**... Barrel has a policy against this.

Old Buddy Hackett Joke:

A very young amorous couple were walking through a cemetary and feeling frisky . So the woman lay down on a grave marker and they made love. A week later the woman's back is still hurting her , so she sees a doctor. The doctor tells her to disrobe, then tells her to turn around to examine her back . The doctor asks her," How old are you?". She says ," I'm 20 years old, why do you ask." The doctor replies, " Because your a**... says you died in 1898."