Lay Eggs Jokes
66 lay eggs jokes and hilarious lay eggs puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lay eggs that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Lay Eggs Short Jokes
Short lay eggs jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lay eggs humour may include short egg laying jokes also.
- Give a man an egg and he'll eat for a day Breed a man that can lay an egg and suddenly you're taking science too far.
- Asked a hen how many eggs it lays daily? It said: two eggs
I said: Oh strange!
It said: what's strange? the fact that I lay two eggs?
I said: no, the fact that you talk - What do you call it when all the hens in the coup resign the same day from their jobs laying eggs? chicken tenders.
- You Know It's Hot When ... Cows are giving evaporated milk ...
Chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs ...
Catfish are already fried when caught ...
Jehovah Witnesses start telemarketing ... - My chickens were laying to many eggs so I had to sell their coop. They now have a chicken sedan.
- If a rooster lays an egg on a triangular roof, which side does it roll down? Neither! Roosters don't lay eggs!
- In a alternative universe where humans lay eggs. omelettes would still be a seriously messed up thing to eat.
- What moment is Batman History was the worst for Batman? Christmas.
He lays an egg, smells bad, and Joker gets away.
Also his parents are dead. - Why do we consider chickens as friendly animals? Because they lay their eggs instead of throwing them.
- Just watched a male chicken lay an egg... I hate dad yolks...
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Lay Eggs One Liners
Which lay eggs one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lay eggs? I can suggest the ones about eggs and fried egg.
- Where does a socialist bird lay its eggs? In a communest
- What do you get when a chicken lays its eggs on the top of a hill? Egg rolls.
- TIL there is a rooster that lays eggs. The breed is Himalayan.
- What sound do French chickens make when they lay eggs? OEUF!
- Why do chickens lay eggs? To confuse philosophers.
- What does an evil chicken lay? Deviled eggs
- What do you give to a female fish that has trouble laying her eggs? a SEA-section
- What did the French ostrich say after laying a 4lb egg? Big oeuf
- "Don't give me the chicken, instead teach me how to lay eggs." Once a wise man said.
- Where did the amphibian lay her eggs? Dunno, she frogot.
- Why does a chicken lay eggs? Because if she dropped them, they'd break
- When do chickens stop laying eggs? Henopause
- What kind of tree lays eggs? A poultry.
- Name a bird which doesn't lay eggs? any male bird
- From my dad... What kind of eggs do chickens lay on overcast, drizzly days?
grey day.
Lay Eggs Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about lay eggs you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean egg drop jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lay eggs pranks.
To err is human. To forgive is also human. Actually, everything you do is human. Except for laying eggs. That's more of a bird thing.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne.
The woman perked up and said, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!"
"What a coincidence" the farmer said. "This is a special day for me, I am celebrating."
"This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating," said the woman.
"What a coincidence!" said the farmer.
As they clinked glasses he added, "What are you celebrating?"
"My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynaecologist told me that I am pregnant!"
"What a coincidence!" said the man.
"I'm a chicken farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs."
"That's great!" said the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?"
"I used a different ****," he replied.
The woman smiled, clinked his glass and said, "What a coincidence!"
Soup for the Mind in riddle form
1. a rooster lays an egg at the very top of a pointed roof. which way does the egg roll??
2. A plane crashes directly in the middle of the border between Canada and U.S.A. where where the survivors buried?
3. Two babys were born from the same mother, on the same day, of the same year, on the same minute, yet were not twins... how is this possible??
Answeres
1. roosters dont lay eggs, hens do
2. the survivors wouldnt need to be buried, the dead would
3. they were part of a triplet,not twins
i know they are old and easy, but better ones WILL come.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How does the stock market work?
Cletus and Wade watching the sunset on their tractor have a chat.
Cletus: Wade, I keep hearing on the radio, TV, read in the papers about the stock market but I still have no idea it is. Do you know?
Wade: How should I explain this to you... Let's say you buy some eggs for your farm, these eggs hatch and now you have chicks, these chicks grow up to be hens which lay more eggs out of which you get more chicks that grow up to be hens and so on and so forth and your farm is full of them. One day a b**... flood ravages your land and takes all of them downstream.
Then you sit and think to yourself: *ducks... I should have gotten ducks.* That's what the stock market is like.
What did the chicken say when it layed a square egg?
OUCH!
Mother's Day
Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day morning. As she lay there looking forward to breakfast in bed, the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen.
But after a good long wait she finally went downstairs to investigate. She found them both sitting at the table eating bacon and eggs.
"As a surprise for Mother's Day," one explained, "we decided to cook our own breakfast."
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An attractive middle-aged woman sits at a bar...
... she orders a drink and a man sits beside her. They are both looking rather glum so she asks him what's the matter. He replies that he has a large chicken farm but none of the hens are laying fertile eggs, if this continues he will be out of business very soon. The man notices the woman is rather upset too, so he asks what her woes are. She says with a sigh 'I am just like one of your chickens' and continues to explain that for many years she and her ungrateful husband had tried to have a child, nothing had worked. They sit in silence for a short time, the woman looks at the man and asks if there is anything he can do to fix his chicken problem. He replies, 'I suppose I could try changing c**...' she winks at him, ' I suppose I could try that too'
don't give me the egg
don't give me the egg but teach me to lay eggs
Old McDonald's prized hen asked another chicken to lay on her egg for a while
But it cracked under the pressure
What is a Hindu?
It lays eggs
I work in the meat department and a customer asks me what is the difference between the Halal chicken and the regular chicken.
I said "Regular chicken lays eggs. Halal chicken lays hand grenades."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A chicken farmer went to a local bar.... Sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne..
The woman perks up and says, 'How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!'
'What a coincidence' the farmer says. 'This is a special day for me.... I am celebrating'
'This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating!' says the woman.
'What a coincidence!' says the farmer! As they clinked glasses the man asked, 'What are you celebrating?'
'My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my gynecologist told me that I am pregnant!'
'What a coincidence,' says the man. 'I'm a chicken farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs.'
'That's great!' says the woman. 'How did your chickens become fertile?'
'I used a different c**...,' he replied.
The woman smiled and said, 'What a coincidence.'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Have you ever wondered what would happen...
if a v**... rooster layed a fertilized egg at the top of an infinite staircase?
What did the chicken say before laying an egg?
Yahoo. There goes my baby.
teacher question
The teacher asked his student: Does the wild fox gives birth or lays egg ? The student said: the fox is a sly !! you should expect anything from him !!
How did the ooh-ahh bird get its name?
It lays square eggs.
What did the wicked chicken lay?
A deviled egg. Hmath out.
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12 Chickens lay 12 eggs each for a home run farm buisness.
g**... domestic product!
What do you call a chicken that doesn't lay any eggs?
A rooster
A 5 year old kid told Art Linkletter that...
The chicken came first before the egg, since "God doesn't lay eggs.", he said.
A man once lay an egg...
The teacher tells little Jack, "I'm going to describe an animal and you have to guess what it is."
"It lives on a farm and gives milk"
"A cow?"
"That's correct too, but I meant a goat. What lives on a farm, has feathers and lays eggs?"
"A chicken"
"That's correct too but I meant a duck."
Little Jack, getting annoyed, asks the teacher: "What goes into your mouth hard, and comes out soft and wet?"
The teacher starts blushing.
"That's correct too but I meant chewing gum."
Joke my physics teacher told us
A farmer has a bunch of chickens who aren't laying eggs. Puzzled, he enlists the help of a physicist to try and work out the problem. The physicist went away and did his calculations, then came back a week later.
'I have a solution to your problem, but...' the physicist said.
'But what?' Said the farmer.
'It only works for circular chickens in a vacuum.'
The reason that nobody has ever seen the Easter bunny is because they're looking for a rabbit. The Easter bunny is a marsupial, it has to be. Its a mammal that lays eggs.
A starving man traveling the country goes door-to-door begging for his breakfast meal.
One lady opens her door to the man and he says, please I am starving, I have nothing but some rocks in my pocket. If you let me eat some eggs, I'll show you eating my rocks!
The lady lets the man in and gives him some eggs. The man then asks for a pan to lay the eggs. Then he asks for oil to put on the pan. Then he asks if he can use the stove to cook the eggs. After all is said and done, the man thanks her for the breakfast and prepares to leave, but the lady interrupts him: aren't you going to eat your rocks?
I'm full, but I think I'll save them for the road.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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An old joke in my native language.
In a country, all the idiots lived together in a big town. One day, their leader dies. He had two children. Both of them were eligible to be the leader. They were quite confused who should be their leader. So, they visit a saint for advice.
The saint says: "Whoever will answer my question correctly will be the king of idiots..
..and the question is: **If a rooster sits on a tower, and lays an egg, in which direction will the egg fall?**"