Lawyer Fees Jokes

10 lawyer fees jokes and hilarious lawyer fees puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lawyer fees that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Lawyer Fees Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.

What is a good lawyer fees joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

I've heard that U2 has never paid legal any legal fees

Their lawyers all work pro-Bono.

A lawyer's dog

A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for the local butcher shop and steals a roast off the counter.
The butcher goes to the lawyer's office and asks, "if a dog, running unleashed, steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" "Absolutely," the lawyer responded.
The butcher immediately shot back, "Good! You owe me $7.99 for the roast your dog stole from me this morning."
The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $7.99. A few days later, the butcher receives a mail from the lawyer.
The contents read
"Pay Consultation fee: $25.00."

No Good Question Goes Unbilled...

A man went to a lawyer and asked what his fee was. The lawyer says, "$100 for three questions."
"Isn't that a bit steep?" asked the man.
"Yes," said the lawyer. "Now, what's your third question?"

How do duck lawyers charge their fees?

Bill-able hours

A man goes to the lawyer: What is your fee?

Lawyer says: 1000 US dollars for 3 questions.
Man: Wow - so much! Isn't it a bit expensive?
Lawyer: Yes, what is your third question?

So a man seeking legal advice steps into a small law firm's office...

...and says to the man sitting at his desk, "Excuse me sir, are you a lawyer?" "Yes I am," says the lawyer.
"What is your fee?" the man responds.
"$25,000 for every four questions" the lawyer answers
"Isn't that terribly expensive?" the man asks, shocked
"Yes. What's your fourth question?" says the lawyer.

Lawyer Joke

* A lawyer is meeting with his client after a negotiation fell through. The lawyer says "so I've got some good news and some bad news. Which do you want to hear first?
*The client says "I guess good news first."
*The lawyer responded "the negotiations fell through and we need to go to trial. This'll probably take years and cost you thousands in attorney's fees."
*"So wait, what's the good news."
*"Wait, did I say there was bad news?"

Q: What’s the difference between Personal Injury lawyers and Congress?
A: No fee–If No Recovery!

How do you make a group of lawyers to smile for a photo?
Just say, "Fees."

Two little squirrels were walking along in the forest.

The first one spied a nut and cried out, "Oh, look! A nut!"
The second squirrel jumped on it and said, "It's my nut!"
The first squirrel said, "That's not fair! I saw it first!"
"Well, you may have seen it, but I have it," argued the second.
At that point, a lawyer squirrel came up and said, "You shouldn't quarrel.Let me resolve this dispute."
The two squirrels nodded, and the lawyer squirrel said, "Now, give me the nut."
He broke the nut in half, and handed half to each squirrel, saying, "See? It was foolish of you to fight. Now the dispute is resolved."
Then he reached over and said, "And for my fee, I'll take the meat."

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