Lawyer Donation Jokes

Following is our collection of attorneys humor and irs one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Lawyer Donation puns for adults, dirty barrister jokes or clean donations gags for kids.

There is an abundance of charities jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 11 funniest jokes on lawyer donation. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any laywer witze you can hear about lawyer donation.

The Best jokes about Lawyer Donation

A Man Finds a Magic Lamp While Walking Down the Beach

He rubs the lamp and out pops a genie! The Genie says "I'll grant you three wishes BUT!!!! There is a catch. Whatever you wish for every lawyer in the world will receive double."

After thinking long and hard and about his decision the man finally answers. "I'd like a A 1963 Ferrari 250 GTO."

"Done" says the genii and snaps his fingers. The man instantly feels the weight of the keys in his pocket.

"I'd like $500,000 tax free" says the man.

"Done" Says the Genii. And the man reaches into his other pocket to find a Powerball ticket.

Finally the man takes a deep breath and wishes his third and final wish.

"I wish to donate a kidney."

One Way trip to Mars

NASA was interviewing professionals they were thinking of sending to Mars. The touchy part was that only one guy could go and it would be a one-way trip, the guy not ever returning to Earth.

The interviewer asked the first applicant, an engineer, how much he wanted to be paid for going. "One million dollars," the engineer answered. "And I want to donate it all to my alma mater--Rice University."

The next applicant was a doctor, and the interviewer asked him the same question. Two millions dollars, the doctor said. "I want to give a million to my family and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research."

The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer's ear, "Three million dollars."

"Why so much more than the others?" the interviewer asked.

The lawyer replied, " I'll give you one million, I'll keep a million, and we'll send the engineer."

**

An elderly man was lying on his death bed

and in his bank account had 300,000 dollars. Being a man that didn't trust wills and didn't want the government to get their hands on the money, he decides to call over his three most trusted people. He calls over his priest, his lawyer, and his doctor and gives them each 100,000 dollars. He then informs them that he wishes to be buried with his wealth and at the funeral they should each drop the 100,000 into his coffin. After the burial the priest announces that he must confess he donated some of the money to the orphanage. The doctor chimes in and says he has to admit that he bought a new MRI machine for the hospital. "I felt guilty but it will save many lives" he proclaims. The lawyer takes a step back and looks at both of them with disdain. "Shame on you for dishonoring a dying man's last wish. I'll have you know I enclosed a check for the full 100,000."

Lawyer joke

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."

The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.

"or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"

The Beer-Bottle Genie

A young man is walking along the beach, when he spies a beer bottle in the sand. Picking it up, he brushes it off to see what brand it is, when a genie popped out. In a thundering voice, it proclaimed, "I am the beer bottle genie! For freeing me, I will grant you any three wishes, BUT the condition is, every lawyer in the world will get TWO of that!"
So the kid thought, and decided, "I want a briefcase filled with a million dollars!"
POOF! A briefcase instantly appeared in front if him. Meanwhile, two brief cases with a million dollars each appeared in front of every lawyer in the world.
"And for my next wish," he added, "I would like a red Porsche."
POOF! One appeared in front of him on the sand. And two Porsches appeared in the garages of every lawyer in the world.
"All right," said the genie, " for your last wish think really hard. Okay, time's up! What do you want?"
"Well," said the boy, "I've always wanted to donate a kidney..."


Three wishes

Walking along the beach, a man finds a bottle. He rubs it and instantly, a genie appears.
I'll grant you three wishes, the genie says. There's just one condition. I'm a lawyer's genie, so for every wish you make, every lawyer in the world gets the same thing, only double.
After thinking a moment, the man says, For my first wish, I would like $10 million.
Lawyers will get $20 million, the genie reminds him.
What else do you want?
I'd love to have a red Porsche, he says. Instantly, the car appears on the beach.
What's your last wish?
Well, I've always wanted to donate a kidney.

A man finds a lantern

One day a man finds a magic lantern and rubs it. To his surprise a genie comes out and offers him three wishes but with a catch, every lawyer in the world gets double of what he wishes for.

He says "I wish for a million dollars."

The genie replies, "Your wish is granted and now every lawyer has two million dollars."

The man wishes again, "Now I wish for a Lamborghini."

The genie replies, "Your wish is granted and now every lawyer has two Lamborghinis."

The man then thinks for a bit and says "You know what? I've always wanted to donate a kidney."

A man is granted one wish, but with a catch

A man unlocks a genie, and the genie tells him that he will grant him one wish, but whatever he wishes for, all lawyers in the world will be granted double.

The man thinks long and hard about his one wish, and calmly states "I wish to donate a kidney"

A Dublin lawyer died in poverty and many barristers of the city donated to a fund for his funeral.


The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling.
"A shilling?" said the Justice, "It only takes shilling to bury an attorney? Here's a guinea; go bury 20 of `em!"

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars.


Only one could go and couldnโ€™t return to Earth.
The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going.
โ€œA million dollars,โ€ he answered, โ€œbecause I want to donate it to M.I.T.โ€
The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question.
He asked for $2 million. โ€œI want to give a million to my family,โ€ he explained, โ€œand leave the other million for the advancement of medical research.โ€
The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewerโ€™s ear, โ€œThree million dollars.โ€
โ€œWhy so much more than the others?โ€ asked the interviewer.
The lawyer replied, โ€œIf you give me $3 million, Iโ€™ll give you $1 million, Iโ€™ll keep $1 million, and weโ€™ll send the engineer to Mars.โ€

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you did not give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?" The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?" Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um, no." The lawyer interrupts, "Or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?" The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again. "Or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!" The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea." On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"


Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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