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Lawyer Cross Examination Jokes

7 lawyer cross examination jokes and hilarious lawyer cross examination puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lawyer cross examination that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Lawyer Cross Examination Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.

What is a good lawyer cross examination joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

Brainless Lawyers

In a m**... trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining the coroner:
"Before you signed the death certificate, did you take the pulse, listen to the heart or check for breathing?"
"No."
"So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren't sure the man was dead, were you?"
"Well, the man's brain was in a jar on my desk, but I suppose he could have still been practicing law for a living."

An engineer on trial.

At the trial, the engineer insisted that he had given the driver ample warning by waving his lantern back and forth for nearly a minute. He even stood and convincingly demonstrated how he'd done it. The court believed his story, and the suit was dismissed.
"Congratulations," the lawyer said to the engineer when it was over. "You did superbly under cross-examination."
"Thanks," he said, "but the plaintiff's lawyer sure had me worried."
"How's that?" the lawyer asked.
"I was afraid he was going to ask if the lantern was lit!"

A lumberjack was being cross-examined during a m**... trial.

The defense lawyer, trying to discredit the lumberjack as a witness, asked him:
"Is it true you were working at night?  How can you be sure that it was a pine tree that fell on the victim?"
The lumberjack replied confidently: "I know what I saw."

A lawyer was well into a lengthy cross-examination of a witness, stopped and said: "I object, Your Honor! One of the jurors is asleep."
The Judge ruled: "You put him to sleep… You wake him up."

A lawyer was well into a lengthy cross-examination of a witness, when he stopped and said, "I object, your honor! One of the jurors is asleep." The Judge ruled, "You put him to sleep, so you wake him up."

A lawyer calls a dog as a witness

The Judge says get that dog out it cannot be a witness
The Lawyer says Don't worry this dog can talk I will prove it.
The dog is sworn on to the podium and the Lawyer begins his cross examination. First he asks the dog Good morning sir, how was the road on your way here? The dog says rough
Then the lawyer asks What is on the top of the building? Roof the dog replies.
Then the lawyer asks the dog who is the greatest baseball player of all time? Ruth! Exclaims the dog.
The judge has had enough and demands that the dog is removed from the court. As he walks out the dog says Should I have said Hank Aaron?

A lawyer was questioning a doctor...

A lawyer was cross-examining a doctor about whether or not he had checked the pulse of the deceased before he signed the death certificate.
"No," the doctor said."I did not check his pulse."
"And did you listen for a heartbeat?" asked the lawyer.
"No I did not," the doctor said.
"So," said the lawyer,"When you signed the death certificate, you had not taken steps to make sure he was dead."
The doctor said, "Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was in a jar on my desk but, for all I know, he could be out practicing law somewhere."

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