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Lawyer Argued Jokes

14 lawyer argued jokes and hilarious lawyer argued puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lawyer argued that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Lawyer Argued Short Jokes

Short lawyer argued jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lawyer argued humour may include short lawyer jokes also.

  1. God and the devil were arguing with each other... ... God says to him "I've had it! I'm taking you to court." The devil says back "yeah? Well where are you going to get a lawyer?"
  2. 2 little boys are arguing About whose dad has a better job. First says "mines a Dr." second says " well mines a lawyer" first says in disbelief " honest? " second says " naw the usual kind"
  3. Why shouldn't you ever argue with someone who has multiple personalities? One of them might be a lawyer
  4. There was a lawyer who argued with everyone that he passed, until he was finally arrested... for public mass debating

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Lawyer Argued One Liners

Which lawyer argued one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lawyer argued? I can suggest the ones about argued and defense lawyer.

  1. My mother told me I was so good at arguing that I should be a lawyer. I said b**...!

Howlingly Hilarious Lawyer Argued Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening

What funny jokes about lawyer argued you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean lawyer doctor jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lawyer argued pranks.

2 kids arguing.

2 little kids were arguing over who's dad has a better job. First kid says,"My dads a doctor." Second kis say,"Yeah well my dad's lawyer." Astonished the first kid says," Honest?" The second kid replied "No, the usual kind."

A lawyer dies and goes to heaven . . .

"There must be some mistake," the lawyer argues. "I'm too young to die. I'm only 49."
"49?" says St. Peter. "No, according to our calculations, you're 83."
"How did you figure that?" the lawyer asks.
"We added up your time sheets," answered St. Peter.

A lawyer dies and ends up in h**....

There must be some mistake, the lawyer argues. I'm too young to die. I'm only 42 years old!
Just 42? That doesn't sound right. says Satan.
The lawyer says, "Thank you so much, this must be some kind of mix up."
"Ah, here we have it," says Satan. "According to our calculations you're 97 years old."
"Where did you get that number from?" asks the lawyer.
Satan says, "We added up your time sheets."

It should be fair

A lawyer argued in court...
If physical intimacy with a wife requires her consent and without consent it is termed as r**..., then shopping without the husband's consent should be charged in court as robbery.

How police officers argue with lawyers

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff. The sheriff asks for license and registration.
The lawyer asks, "What for?"
The sheriff responds, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign." The lawyer says, "I slowed down and no one was coming." "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration please," say the sheriff impatiently.
The lawyer, thinking he knows everything about the law says "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you can give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."

The sheriff says, "That sounds fair, please exit your vehicle."
The lawyer steps out and the sheriff takes out his nightstick and starts beating the lawyer with it.
The sheriff says, "Do you want me to stop or just slow down?"

Blonde vs. Lawyer

A blonde sits next to a lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer kept bugging the blonde to play a game of intelligence with him. After several minutes of arguing with her, he says you give me $5 for every question you cant answer and i'll give you $50 for every question i cant answer. The lawyer figured he couldnt lose and the blonde accepted.
The lawyer proceeded to ask his first question, "What's the distance between the earth and the nearest star?"
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.
The blonde then asked her question, "What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down with three?"
The lawyer was searching his laptop for hours and calling everyone he knows to find the answer. Finally he gave up and handed the blonde $50.
After the plane landed, he decided to ask her the answer to her question.
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5

A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will: "To you, my loving wife Rose, who stood by me in rough times, as well as good, I leave her the house and $2 million."
The lawyer continued, "To my daughter Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave her the yacht, the business and $1 million."
The lawyer concluded, "And, to my cousin Cowboy, who hated me, argued with me, and thought that I would never mention him in my will. Well you are wrong. Hi Cowboy!"

Two little squirrels were walking along in the forest.


The first one spied a nut and cried out, "Oh, look! A nut!"
The second squirrel jumped on it and said, "It's my nut!"
The first squirrel said, "That's not fair! I saw it first!"
"Well, you may have seen it, but I have it," argued the second.
At that point, a lawyer squirrel came up and said, "You shouldn't quarrel.Let me resolve this dispute."
The two squirrels nodded, and the lawyer squirrel said, "Now, give me the nut."
He broke the nut in half, and handed half to each squirrel, saying, "See? It was foolish of you to fight. Now the dispute is resolved."
Then he reached over and said, "And for my fee, I'll take the meat."