The Best 48 Laws Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Laws jokes. There are some laws mules jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these laws defy puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Laws Jokes and Puns

The lawsuit seeking 'personhood' status for chimpanzees

Evidence in this lawsuit clearly demonstrates that the legal definition of "person" is badly flawed,

and needs to be corrected by excluding liberal lawyers.

Prostitution work laws

If a hooker gets pregnant, can she file compensation for an on the job "accident"?

Two Laws in the Torah were fulfilled on the same day.

For those who haven't heard, Washington State recently passed two landmark laws: "Gay marriage" and The fact that gay marriage and marijuana were legalized on the same day makes perfect biblical sense because Leviticus 20:13 says:

'If a man lies with another man, they should be stoned.' We just hadn't interpreted it correctly.

Laws joke, Two Laws in the Torah were fulfilled on the same day.

Last week I tried talking to a politician about rape laws...

She couldn't see where I was coming from.

Why wasn't the man considered attractive?

The laws of gravity didn't apply to him.

What do you do with unfit laws?

You exercise them.

What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?

It was given two consecutive sentences.

Laws joke, What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?

How do women defy the laws of physics?

The heavier they are, the easier to pick up!

Criminals flood in from across the English Channel.

"They have no respect for our laws," said a Marseille policeman ahead of England's first game.

An Australian is visiting England...

He is from a small rural town and he does not know anything about traffic laws and street lights. He crosses a street and almost gets hit by a car. A police officer sees him and screams: "Oi! Did you come here to die?" The Australian replies with: "Nah mate, I came here yesterday!"

Obama calls for greater truck control laws.

Apparently the the truck in France had a fully automatic transmission.

You can explore laws governments reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean laws svu dad jokes. There are also laws puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

There are three unwritten laws of life...




what is the punishment for polygamy?

multiple mother in laws

The power of Maths

One day, a box wouldn't open, a Lawyer came, applied all the laws he knew, it didn't open, a Chemist came, applied all reactions he knew, and the box wouldn't open, a Physicist came, applied all forces, it still didn't open, then a Mathematician came and said : " Let's assume the box is open "

Election Day was the perfect day to go see Doctor Strange...

I got to experience a scary bizarro world were sanity was cast aside and the laws of nature were twisted to the breaking point, and I also went to a movie.

Why Newton laws were not from Asian countries?

Because they have durian...

Laws joke, Why Newton laws were not from Asian countries?

What's the difference between a non-binary person and an ecosystem?

An ecosystem obeys the laws of biology.

I hate father in laws

So I only date black girls

I'm attracted to you...

and the laws of gravity say that you're attracted to me, too.

Welcome to the United States...

Where the laws are made up and the votes don't matter.

There once was an emperor who ruled over a massive territory.

When he came in to power he passed many strange laws. The first law he passed was that in every sentence that you use the word "or" you must also have an "M" in that same sentence.

The people of his domain could do nothing to oppose this outrageous law because it was the
"M per Ors" decree.

How can black guys jump so high?

They break the laws of gravity.

Why can't Ajit Pai be buried at sea?

There are laws against dumping human garbage in an ocean


-Have you heard of Murphy's law?

-Yes, anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

-What about Cole's Law?

-No, what is it?

-Thinly sliced cabbage drizzled with mayonnaise and sour cream

What did the scientist say when he stole a physics book and flew away?

"These laws don't apply to me!"

How do you keep an idiot occupied without Net Neutrality laws?

Please insert credit card information for punchline. If you would like a funnier punchline, choose our premium package for only twice the price!

Trying out new Arm-the-Teachers laws, a Texas teacher recently shot a student in the eye.

In the teacher's defense, it was a bad pupil.

Dad Knowing the Laws...

Dad: Have you heard of Murphy's Law?

Son: Yes, if something can go wrong, it will go wrong.

Dad: Yes! Have you heard of Cole's Law?

Son: Actually, no. What's that?

Dad: Thinly sliced cabbage.

My Daughter…

My daughter once said to me

Dad, according to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

She was just an embryo.

Women are the only creatures to defy the laws of gravity.

The heavier they are, the easier they are to pick up.

According to the laws of physics, the heavier you are...

the more attractive you are.

Women are the only physical entity that defy the laws of gravitation.

Increase in mass does not lead to an increase in the orce of attraction.

Due to the recent relaxation of laws in Saudi Arabia,

a new chain of fast food restaurants are opening up which are run solely by women.

It's called Burka King.

Utah liquor laws are BS!

Never have I been to a place where it's acceptable to have more wives than drinks!

My friend Bert disliked his name

... so he studied all the rules and laws about legally changing it. In case you have any questions about name-changing, feel free to ask him - he is now an ex-Bert.

I was caught masturbating in the library over the small print of laws and local regulations....

.....I got off on a technicality

A lawsuit was filed and won against you for 10,000 upvotes

I'm here to collect

Newton is dead virgin

All his life he studied the laws of attraction, without understanding the gravity of his situation

What's the difference between outlaws and in laws?

Outlaws are wanted.

(Overheard this at a restaurant tonight.)

Newton knew about the laws of motion when he was 33, while we knew them when we were 14.

I guess that makes us smarter than him.

A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by...

A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by. The sphinx said to the man "you may pass if you can answer my riddle: What is wider than an ocean, heavier than a mountain, and unbounded by the laws of physics?"

The man thought for a moment and answered "imagination".

"Wrong", said the Sphinx. "The answer is your mom".

What do the laws of physics and the predsident of Russia have in common?

You can't choose them

A crow was caught recently breaking quarantine laws.

They charged him with attempted murder.

You think you can go down to Mexico and do whatever you want? Well I have news for you buddy, Mexico has laws!

That no one follows so go ahead and do your thing.

If someone says see you later alligator you must respond with in a while crocodile

It's in the bye laws

I have a few jokes about laws in the US

But they're not for everyone.

The Felony laws are rediculous...

Three guys were talking about how they ended up in an Arizona prison.

Guy 1: what are you in for?

Guy 2: selling weed to my 23 year old cousin with anxiety.

Guy 1: I can beat that, I was playing bioshock and the radio in game played some 1950s shit. I got a copy right strike and here I am.

Guy 3: I got you both beat. I'm in here because my ass fall asleep in the bathtub.

Laws of physics vs the law

Heisenberg, Shrodinger and Ohm were driving down a highway when they get pulled over by a cop. The cop asks Heisenberg if he knew how fast he was going, as you can surmise, he claimed he didn't know because he knew exactly where they were. The cop, finding this suspicious asks them to open the trunk. He comes back to the front and asks them why they have a dead cat in the trunk and Shrodinger responds, "because you opened the trunk you fool!!". The cop, now visibly irritated promptly moves to arrest all three. Ohm, resisted.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the laws law jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working laws mother in laws piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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