Laws Jokes

117 laws jokes and hilarious laws puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about laws that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

A good joke can lighten the mood and bring a smile to even the most serious situation. This article explores humorous quips involving laws, regulations and governments. From mother-in-laws to gas laws, uncover a few jokes that demonstrate the lighter side of the law.

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Funniest Laws Short Jokes

Short laws jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The laws humour may include short rules jokes also.

  1. I don't understand all these jokes about mothers-in-law. Mine is sweet, supportive, and a great influence on me and my wife. I can't say anything bad about her.
  2. My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives... I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
  3. What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws? It was given two consecutive sentences.
  4. These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says " I can't stand my mother in law". The other says " so , just eat the potatoes".
  5. TIL Calaway's Law states that "the best way to get the right answer on the internet is not to ask a question, it's to post the wrong answer." Now we wait.
  6. My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives... I️ said, No, in fact, I️ like your mother in law a lot better than I️ like mine
  7. I live in constant fear that Trump will deport my Latina mother in law Who lives at 324 3rd st. Los Angeles. She gets off at 6
  8. My Wife just accused me of hating her side of the family and relatives. I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
  9. You know Murphy's Law. It's "If something can go wrong, it will", but do you know Cole's law? It's... shredded cabbage, mayonnaise, maybe some carrot.
  10. I was walking down the street with my wife.. And i saw my mother in law being beaten up by six men, when my wife asked "Aren't you going to help?" I said "No, six should be enough."
    From Les Dawson.

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Laws One Liners

Which laws one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with laws? I can suggest the ones about constitution and law requiring.

  1. What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer? A father in law
  2. How do women defy the laws of physics? The heavier they are, the easier to pick up!
  3. What do you call a priest that becomes an attorney? Father-in-Law.
  4. What does a black man call a black lawyer? A brother in law
  5. There is a law that says you don't have to wear a mask It's called Natural Selection
  6. We all know Murphy's Law, but little is known of Cole's Law "Shredded Cabbage."
  7. What's the penalty for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.
  8. Newton's third law of Emotion. For every male action, there is a female overreaction.
  9. What is a cats way of keeping law and order? Claw enforcement!
  10. I'm so tired of hearing Law and Order jokes. They've all been done done.
  11. My Mother in Law fell down a wishing well I was amazed. I never knew they worked.
  12. Why Did the mother in law cross the road? She thought it was a boundary.
  13. What do you call two pint of strict rules? A quart of law
  14. There are three unwritten laws of life... 1.
  15. What happens to rainbow that break the law? They go through the prism system

Mother In Laws Jokes

Here is a list of funny mother in laws jokes and even better mother in laws puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Two cannibals sat around a campfire One turned to the other and said, "God, I hate my mother-in-law."
    His friend said, "Well then try the potatoes."
  • "Diana!" I said, greeting my mother-in-law as she walked through the door... She said, "My name's Anna."
    I said, "Yeah, I know."
  • If your mother-in-law and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose... would you go to lunch or a movie?
  • My wife thinks that I don't care for her relatives. I told her that's not true. I love her mother-in-law more than I love mine.
  • My mother in law was getting beaten up by four guys and my wife shouted "Go Help", to which I replied "four should be enough".
  • My mother in law came for a visit so I asked her - How long do you plan to stay? Just until I start getting on your nerves, she replied.
    Oh, so you won't even stay for a coffee?
  • My mother-in-law has a massive case of diarrhea. She won't find out until she unpacks her luggage.
  • I Wasn't Too Keen On The Idea Of Gay Parenting Until I met my wife, who was raised by two dads. That's when I came to my senses and realized.. NO MOTHER-IN-LAW!
  • "Where's your mother in law?" - "She's in the garden."
    - "Where? I can't see her."
    - "You have to dig a little."
  • What do you call mixed emotions? Watching your mother-in-law reverse off a cliff in your brand new car

Laws Requiring Jokes

Here is a list of funny laws requiring jokes and even better laws requiring puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What is the law that requires cabbage to be shredded and covered in a vinaigrette? Cole's Law
  • I went to Coles to buy a cabbage but apparently it's a legal requirement to buy mayonnaise and carrots too. It's Coles Law.
  • As a young man, I used to love my birthday parties , but now anytime my birthday candles are lit state law requires that a fire extinguisher be present.
  • Thought of this in the car What do you call it when it's required by law to numerically organize everyone's yard?
    Lawn Order.
  • There's a country where all cars are required by law to be rose-colored. It's a pink car nation.
  • A country just passed a law requiring all cross-gender people to be sterilized. Many of the locals were left transfixed.
  • A new law will require all wine to be aged 18 months before commercial sale Failure to follow new legislation will be referred to as Statutory Grape
Laws joke, A new law will require all wine to be aged 18 months before commercial sale

Gas Laws Jokes

Here is a list of funny gas laws jokes and even better gas laws puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • The pressure of a gas is inversely proportional to its volume—Boyle's Law. Any leftover cabbage must be shredded and mixed with mayonnaise.
    —-Cole's Law.
  • My mother-in-law just called and said that she suspects smelling gas, asking what she should do.
    I told her: you're such a wonderful and religious person, you should light a candle and pray.
  • Why couldn't Obi-Wan calculate the volume of Bespin from the ideal gas law? Only a Sith deals in absolutes
  • Some say that the Mongols created the first iteration of the Ideal Gas Law. After all, they were pneumatic experts.
  • I heard about the ideal gas law in physics class PV=nRT… and I heard non-ideal gas law in a crowded elevator PU=f**...

Laws Banning Jokes

Here is a list of funny laws banning jokes and even better laws banning puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Trump just lifted the ban on hunting hibernating bears In other words, this gun law says "You have the right to bear" arms.
  • Trump wants to pass a law banning grocery stores from selling shredded cheese... ... in order to "make America Grate again"
  • China has recently banned puns. In hindsight it might be a punenforcable law.
  • Why is sunshine no longer allowed in California? They passed a law implementing Ray Bans.
  • There was a new law passed banning anyone from shouting at a cat. It's considered furball a**....

In Laws Jokes

Here is a list of funny in laws jokes and even better in laws puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Marital Argument A husband and wife had been arguing all day. They pass a herd of jackasses. The wife says "relatives of yours?" Husband says, "yep, in laws."
  • Most black 15-year-olds are decent law-abiding citizens. It's their kids that cause all the trouble.
  • Have you heard of Murphy's Law? It states that anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Have you heard of Coles Law? It's thinly sliced cabbage.
  • My in-laws couldn't cope when their cat unexpectedly had 9 kittens, so my wife told me to put them in a sack and throw them in the river I did it but it broke my heart.
    I quite liked her dad…
  • A man named Eric Cole... ... discovered that there was a direct correlation between the amount of mayonnaise on his cabbage salad and how good it tastes.
    He's calling this correlation Cole's Law.
  • "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.." - Newton's Law "Shredded cabbage and carrot make a great salad." - Cole's Law
  • Moore's law states that the density of transistors doubles every two years. This is usually done by making them smaller.
    Therefore, less is Moore's
  • I bought my mother in law a chair for her birthday... But my wife wouldn't let me plug it in.
  • Some people say I have my mom's eyes... but since they can't find them they've never been able to prove it in a court of law.
  • A teacher asked a student," Tell me the 1st Law of Newton" "I don't remember the whole line, just the last part"
    "Ok tell the last part"
    "... and this is called the 1st Law of Newton
Laws joke, A teacher asked a student," Tell me the 1st Law of Newton"

Uplifting Laws Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about laws you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean legal jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make laws pranks.

The lawsuit seeking 'personhood' status for chimpanzees

Evidence in this lawsuit clearly demonstrates that the legal definition of "person" is badly flawed,
and needs to be corrected by excluding liberal lawyers.

Prostitution work laws

If a h**... gets pregnant, can she file compensation for an on the job "accident"?

Two Laws in the Torah were fulfilled on the same day.

For those who haven't heard, Washington State recently passed two landmark laws: "Gay marriage" and The fact that gay marriage and m**... were legalized on the same day makes perfect biblical sense because Leviticus 20:13 says:
'If a man lies with another man, they should be s**....' We just hadn't interpreted it correctly.

Why did the college student change his major from Biology to Physics after his first exam?

He needed to see if how fast his grade dropped broke any laws of physics.

What do they call traffic laws in 3rd world countries?


Last week I tried talking to a politician about r**... laws...

She couldn't see where I was coming from.

Why wasn't the man considered attractive?

The laws of gravity didn't apply to him.

What do you do with unfit laws?

You exercise them.

Why is America home to the majority of comedians?

Lax pun control laws.

Criminals flood in from across the English Channel.

"They have no respect for our laws," said a Marseille policeman ahead of England's first game.

An Australian is visiting England...

He is from a small rural town and he does not know anything about traffic laws and street lights. He crosses a street and almost gets hit by a car. A police officer sees him and screams: "Oi! Did you come here to die?" The Australian replies with: "Nah mate, I came here yesterday!"

Obama calls for greater truck control laws.

Apparently the the truck in France had a fully automatic transmission.

Hillary Clinton says she will pass laws against high-school age interns.

She said she's going to put a lot of collating minors out of business.

what is the punishment for polygamy?

multiple mother in laws

The power of Maths

One day, a box wouldn't open, a Lawyer came, applied all the laws he knew, it didn't open, a Chemist came, applied all reactions he knew, and the box wouldn't open, a Physicist came, applied all forces, it still didn't open, then a Mathematician came and said : " Let's assume the box is open "

Election Day was the perfect day to go see Doctor Strange...

I got to experience a scary bizarro world were sanity was cast aside and the laws of nature were twisted to the breaking point, and I also went to a movie.

Why Newton laws were not from Asian countries?

Because they have durian...

What's the difference between a non-binary person and an ecosystem?

An ecosystem obeys the laws of biology.

I hate father in laws

So I only date black girls

I'm attracted to you...

and the laws of gravity say that you're attracted to me, too.

Welcome to the United States...

Where the laws are made up and the votes don't matter.

There once was an emperor who ruled over a massive territory.

When he came in to power he passed many strange laws. The first law he passed was that in every sentence that you use the word "or" you must also have an "M" in that same sentence.
The people of his domain could do nothing to oppose this outrageous law because it was the
"M per Ors" decree.

How can black guys jump so high?

They break the laws of gravity.

Why can't Ajit Pai be buried at sea?

There are laws against dumping human garbage in an ocean


-Have you heard of Murphy's law?
-Yes, anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
-What about Cole's Law?
-No, what is it?
-Thinly sliced cabbage drizzled with mayonnaise and sour cream

Half of Iranians wants to drop headscarf laws -- believe that wearing a hijab should be a private choice.

The other half are men.

What did the scientist say when he stole a physics book and flew away?

"These laws don't apply to me!"

How do you keep an idiot occupied without Net Neutrality laws?

Please insert credit card information for punchline. If you would like a funnier punchline, choose our premium package for only twice the price!

Trying out new Arm-the-Teachers laws, a Texas teacher recently shot a student in the eye.

In the teacher's defense, it was a bad pupil.

Dad Knowing the Laws...

Dad: Have you heard of Murphy's Law?
Son: Yes, if something can go wrong, it will go wrong.
Dad: Yes! Have you heard of Cole's Law?
Son: Actually, no. What's that?
Dad: Thinly sliced cabbage.

My Daughter…

My daughter once said to me
Dad, according to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
She was just an embryo.

Women are the only creatures to defy the laws of gravity.

The heavier they are, the easier they are to pick up.

According to the laws of physics, the heavier you are...

the more attractive you are.

Women are the only physical entity that defy the laws of gravitation.

Increase in mass does not lead to an increase in the orce of attraction.

Due to the recent relaxation of laws in Saudi Arabia,

a new chain of fast food restaurants are opening up which are run solely by women.
It's called Burka King.

Utah liquor laws are BS!

Never have I been to a place where it's acceptable to have more wives than drinks!

Why are gun laws so terrible in America?

Because proposed laws gets shot down

My friend Bert disliked his name

... so he studied all the rules and laws about legally changing it. In case you have any questions about name-changing, feel free to ask him - he is now an ex-Bert.

I was caught m**... in the library over the small print of laws and local regulations....

.....I got off on a technicality

We should MAGA

Let's start with:
-affordable healthcare
-reasonable gun laws
-liveable minimum wages

A lawsuit was filed and won against you for 10,000 upvotes

I'm here to collect

Newton is dead v**...

All his life he studied the laws of attraction, without understanding the gravity of his situation

What's the difference between outlaws and in laws?

Outlaws are wanted.
(Overheard this at a restaurant tonight.)

Newton knew about the laws of motion when he was 33, while we knew them when we were 14.

I guess that makes us smarter than him.

A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by...

A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by. The sphinx said to the man "you may pass if you can answer my riddle: What is wider than an ocean, heavier than a mountain, and unbounded by the laws of physics?"
The man thought for a moment and answered "imagination".
"Wrong", said the Sphinx. "The answer is your mom".

What do the laws of physics and the predsident of Russia have in common?

You can't choose them

A crow was caught recently breaking quarantine laws.

They charged him with attempted m**....

You think you can go down to Mexico and do whatever you want? Well I have news for you buddy, Mexico has laws!

That no one follows so go ahead and do your thing.

If someone says see you later alligator you must respond with in a while crocodile

It's in the bye laws

I have a few jokes about laws in the US

But they're not for everyone.

The Felony laws are rediculous...

Three guys were talking about how they ended up in an Arizona prison.
Guy 1: what are you in for?
Guy 2: selling w**... to my 23 year old cousin with anxiety.
Guy 1: I can beat that, I was playing bioshock and the radio in game played some 1950s s**.... I got a copy right strike and here I am.
Guy 3: I got you both beat. I'm in here because my a**... fall asleep in the bathtub.

Laws of physics vs the law

Heisenberg, Shrodinger and Ohm were driving down a highway when they get pulled over by a cop. The cop asks Heisenberg if he knew how fast he was going, as you can surmise, he claimed he didn't know because he knew exactly where they were. The cop, finding this suspicious asks them to open the trunk. He comes back to the front and asks them why they have a dead cat in the trunk and Shrodinger responds, "because you opened the trunk you fool!!". The cop, now visibly irritated promptly moves to arrest all three. Ohm, resisted.

Why were Adam Eve so happy ?

No in laws

How Newton came up with his laws

A cow was walking. Newton shouted at the cow and it stopped. He formed his first law: an object continues to move unless it's stopped .
Newton gave the cow a forceful kick and it made a sound, 'MA'. He formed his second law: force, F = MA .
The cow gave Newton a forceful kick back. He formed his third law: for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction .

Why was the cow arrested for jumping over the moon?

Because it broke the laws of physics!!
(my son says he made this up himself!! can't find it anywhere else so maybe....)

Why don't lawsuits last very long?

Because most lawyers have briefcases.

Why do lawsuits against sand and silt never make it to court?

Sediment always settles

How does carbon dioxide make soda so bubbly?

By obeying the laws of fizz-ics.

What is the legal loop hole in breaking and entering laws?

The Santa Clause

I've invented a new soft drink that floats out the can

It breaks the laws of fizzicks

According to all the laws of aviation, it should be impossible for a bee to fly.

This is because no bee has filed a permit with the FAA.

Laws joke, According to all the laws of aviation, it should be impossible for a bee to fly.

jokes about laws