The Best 34 Lawnmower Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Lawnmower jokes. There are some lawnmower mow jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these lawnmower gardener puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Lawnmower Jokes and Puns

What do you get when you cross a highway with a lawnmower?


Irish lawnmower

Paddy was waiting at the bus stop with Mick when a truck went by loaded with rolls of turf.

I gonna do that when I win the lottery, says Paddy.

What's dat? says Mick.

Send me lawn away to be cut, says Paddy.


A Mexican with a raging erection walks into a wall. What part hits the wall first?

The lawnmower.

Lawnmower joke, A Mexican with a raging erection walks into a wall. What part hits the wall first?

My girlfriend is like a lawnmower...

Everyone is asking to borrow her.

What do you get when you cross a lawnmower and a canary?

Shredded tweet.

Did you hear about the toad that was run over by a lawnmower?

He croaked.

what did the depressed monkey say when his tail went through the lawnmower?

It won't be long now...

Lawnmower joke, what did the depressed monkey say when his tail went through the lawnmower?

Regarding the SCOTUS approval of gay marriage, Iowa representative Steve King has just said (and this is a real quote) "you could marry your your lawnmower with this decision".

Marrying your lawnmower is fine, but when it comes time to leave, writing that John Deere letter is the toughest part.

Why did Renault name a car "Le Car"?

So customers wouldn't accidentally drive Le Lawnmower to work.

What do you get when you run a canary over with the lawnmower?

Shredded tweet.

What do you do if your lawnmower stops working?

Deport him back to Mexico

You can explore lawnmower boudreau reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean lawnmower mower dad jokes. There are also lawnmower puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Doc, it hurts when I try to start my lawnmower!

Doctor: Then don't try to start your lawnmower!

My homie only lets dudes use his lawnmower.

No hoe mow.

My lawnmower is like my ex-wife

Broken, and full of grass.

My colleagues at work asked where I kept my garden tools....

"Don't you have a shed in your garden?"
"So where do you keep your lawnmower?"
"She shares the bed with me."

We're having a lawnmower sale down at Lowes

Buy one get Juan free!

Lawnmower joke, We're having a lawnmower sale down at Lowes

The husband had a really bad condition of multiple personality disorder...

"Doctor, for the last eight months, my husband has thought that he's a lawnmower."

"That's terrible. Why didn't you bring him in sooner?"

"Because the neighbor just returned him this morning."

I heard my lawnmower was going on a rampage...

It was going on a *grass*acre

[Grass acre, grass massacre](#spoiler)

I overprimed my lawnmower engine and now it won't start

That's the choke

Who makes more money? A lawn mower or a fisherman?

The lawnmower... he gets grass income while the fisherman gets net income

Did you hear about the Mexican Lawnmower?

It was a *Juan Deer* mower

Curiosity killed the cat

And if that's not bad enough, my daughter's crying is so loud I can't think of a new name for the lawnmower!

My neighbors all refer to me as The Lawnmower Whisperer.

Talking with lawnmowers is quite simple, actually. All you have to do is say, ΒΏHola, cΓ³mo estΓ‘s, Juan?

What's the difference between the Argentina national team and a lawnmower?

You can't run the lawnmower on choke for 95 minutes!

My neighbor asked if he could use my lawnmower

I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden

I think my lawnmower has a fetish...

It always wants me to choke it

I had to buy a new lawnmower today.

My old one just wasn't cutting it.

Say what you will about me as a dad...

I can't hear you over the sound of my lawnmower anyway.

I asked my neighbour why his lawnmower was pink

He said: β€žLook, I didn't like the black and I can paint my slave whatever color I want.

Last week I let my neighbor borrow

my lawnmower. Today I asked for it back and he had the audacity to call me an Elizabeth Warren giver.

What did the kinky lawnmower say to get turned on?

Choke me daddy

I use to work for a hardware store.

I was being trained by this older gentlemen and he was telling me that the job was all about the up sale. I told me to watch as he went up to someone buying grass seed.

"You should buy this new lawn mower too. You don't want to be cutting your nice new grass with an old lawnmower."

So I turn around and see a guy with a box of tampons and give it a try.

"You should buy a new lawn mower. Your weekends ruined anyway, might as well cut the grass."

Tesla to launch a new Electric lawnmower

It will be called e-Lawn!

A priest is buying a used lawnwoer


He inspects it and asks owner how does it start. "Very simple, you pull the cord and if it doesn't start right away keep pulling and start swearing." The priest is shocked. "I'm a man of the cloth. I may have sworn when I was younger but by now I've forgotten how." "Oh don't worry" says the seller "after couple of pulls it will come back to you."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the lawnmower grass jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working lawnmower logic piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes