Lawnmower Jokes

48 lawnmower jokes and hilarious lawnmower puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lawnmower that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Lawnmower Short Jokes

Short lawnmower jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lawnmower humour may include short lawn mower jokes also.

  1. I had to break up with my girlfriend after I ran over her feet with a lawnmower... I'm lactose intolerant.
  2. I looked out of the window and my dad was slumped over the lawnmower crying his eyes out. I said to my mum "what's up with him?"
    She said "he's just going through a rough patch here".
  3. My neighbor asked if he could use my lawnmower I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden
  4. What's the difference between a miniskirt and a lawnmower? Put your hand under them an you'll know.
  5. My neighbors all refer to me as The Lawnmower Whisperer. Talking with lawnmowers is quite simple, actually. All you have to do is say, ¿Hola, cómo estás, Juan?
  6. what did the depressed monkey say when his tail went through the lawnmower? It won't be long now...
  7. What did Ryu (Street Fighter) say when his step dad asked if he could borrow his lawnmower? Sure you can
  8. Say what you will about me as a dad... I can't hear you over the sound of my lawnmower anyway.
  9. What's the difference between the Argentina national team and a lawnmower? You can't run the lawnmower on choke for 95 minutes!
  10. Doc, it hurts when I try to start my lawnmower! Doctor: Then don't try to start your lawnmower!

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Lawnmower One Liners

Which lawnmower one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lawnmower? I can suggest the ones about lawn mowing and mowing the lawn.

  1. What will Tesla name their lawnmower? **E-Lawn**
  2. I had to buy a new lawnmower today. My old one just wasn't cutting it.
  3. What do you get when you cross a highway with a lawnmower? Killed.
  4. Tesla to launch a new Electric lawnmower It will be called e-Lawn!
  5. Jason Momoa ran down my lawnmower. He was chasin' ma mowa
  6. We're having a lawnmower sale down at Lowes Buy one get Juan free!
  7. My girlfriend is like a lawnmower... Everyone is asking to borrow her.
  8. My lawnmower is like my ex-wife Broken, and full of grass.
  9. What do you do if your lawnmower stops working? Deport him back to Mexico
  10. Did you hear about the Mexican Lawnmower? It was a *Juan Deer* mower
  11. Did you hear about the toad that was run over by a lawnmower? He croaked.
  12. Yo momma so hairy, she has to use a lawnmower to shave her underarm hair.
  13. I overprimed my lawnmower engine and now it won't start That's the choke
  14. What do you get when you run a canary over with the lawnmower? Shredded tweet.
  15. What do you get when you cross a lawnmower and a canary? Shredded tweet.

Lawnmower joke, What do you get when you cross a lawnmower and a canary?

Humorous Lawnmower Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life

What funny jokes about lawnmower you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mowing jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lawnmower pranks.

A Mexican with a r**... e**... walks into a wall. What part hits the wall first?

The lawnmower.

A priest is buying a used lawnwoer

He inspects it and asks owner how does it start. "Very simple, you pull the cord and if it doesn't start right away keep pulling and start swearing." The priest is shocked. "I'm a man of the cloth. I may have sworn when I was younger but by now I've forgotten how." "Oh don't worry" says the seller "after couple of pulls it will come back to you."

Gas prices are so high these days I used v**... in my lawnmower,

... now my grass is half cut.

Irish lawnmower

p**... was waiting at the bus stop with m**... when a truck went by loaded with rolls of turf.
I gonna do that when I win the lottery, says p**....
What's dat? says m**....

Send me lawn away to be cut, says p**....

A woman took her husband to the doctor

The woman said "Doctor, for the last eight months my husband has thought that he is a lawnmower."
"Eight months?!" the doctor said, "Why in heaven's name didn't you bring him in sooner?!"
And the wife said "Because the neighbor just returned him this morning."

The husband had a really bad condition of multiple personality disorder...

"Doctor, for the last eight months, my husband has thought that he's a lawnmower."
"That's terrible. Why didn't you bring him in sooner?"
"Because the neighbor just returned him this morning."

Regarding the SCOTUS approval of gay marriage, Iowa representative Steve King has just said (and this is a real quote) "you could marry your your lawnmower with this decision".

Marrying your lawnmower is fine, but when it comes time to leave, writing that John Deere letter is the toughest part.

I use to work for a hardware store.

I was being trained by this older gentlemen and he was telling me that the job was all about the up sale. I told me to watch as he went up to someone buying grass seed.
"You should buy this new lawn mower too. You don't want to be cutting your nice new grass with an old lawnmower."
So I turn around and see a guy with a box of tampons and give it a try.
"You should buy a new lawn mower. Your weekends ruined anyway, might as well cut the grass."

My homie only lets dudes use his lawnmower.

No h**... mow.

I asked my neighbour why his lawnmower was pink

He said: „Look, I didn't like the black and I can paint my s**... whatever color I want.

Who makes more money? A lawn mower or a fisherman?

The lawnmower... he gets grass income while the fisherman gets net income

I heard my lawnmower was going on a rampage...

It was going on a *grass*acre
[Grass acre, grass massacre](#spoiler)

My colleagues at work asked where I kept my garden tools....

"Don't you have a shed in your garden?"
"So where do you keep your lawnmower?"
"She shares the bed with me."

I think my lawnmower has a f**......

It always wants me to choke it

Lawnmower joke, What do you do if your lawnmower stops working?

jokes about lawnmower