Lawnmower Jokes
48 lawnmower jokes and hilarious lawnmower puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lawnmower that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Lawnmower Short Jokes
Short lawnmower jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lawnmower humour may include short lawn mower jokes also.
- I had to break up with my girlfriend after I ran over her feet with a lawnmower... I'm lactose intolerant.
- I looked out of the window and my dad was slumped over the lawnmower crying his eyes out. I said to my mum "what's up with him?"
She said "he's just going through a rough patch here". - My neighbor asked if he could use my lawnmower I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden
- What's the difference between a miniskirt and a lawnmower? Put your hand under them an you'll know.
- My neighbors all refer to me as The Lawnmower Whisperer. Talking with lawnmowers is quite simple, actually. All you have to do is say, ¿Hola, cómo estás, Juan?
- what did the depressed monkey say when his tail went through the lawnmower? It won't be long now...
- What did Ryu (Street Fighter) say when his step dad asked if he could borrow his lawnmower? Sure you can
- Say what you will about me as a dad... I can't hear you over the sound of my lawnmower anyway.
- What's the difference between the Argentina national team and a lawnmower? You can't run the lawnmower on choke for 95 minutes!
- Doc, it hurts when I try to start my lawnmower! Doctor: Then don't try to start your lawnmower!
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Lawnmower One Liners
Which lawnmower one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lawnmower? I can suggest the ones about lawn mowing and mowing the lawn.
- What will Tesla name their lawnmower? **E-Lawn**
- I had to buy a new lawnmower today. My old one just wasn't cutting it.
- What do you get when you cross a highway with a lawnmower? Killed.
- Jason Momoa ran down my lawnmower. He was chasin' ma mowa
- We're having a lawnmower sale down at Lowes Buy one get Juan free!
- My girlfriend is like a lawnmower... Everyone is asking to borrow her.
- My lawnmower is like my ex-wife Broken, and full of grass.
- Did you hear about the Mexican Lawnmower? It was a *Juan Deer* mower
- Did you hear about the toad that was run over by a lawnmower? He croaked.
- I overprimed my lawnmower engine and now it won't start That's the choke
- What do you get when you run a canary over with the lawnmower? Shredded tweet.
- What do you get when you cross a lawnmower and a canary? Shredded tweet.
- A boxer invented a lawnmower His name is Mowhammad Ali.
- What do you get when you cross a baby with a lawnmower? A mop
- Hug? Said the bunny to the oncoming lawnmower
Humorous Lawnmower Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
What funny jokes about lawnmower you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean snowblower jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lawnmower pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Mexican with a r**... e**... walks into a wall. What part hits the wall first?
The lawnmower.
A priest is buying a used lawnwoer
\*lawnmower
He inspects it and asks owner how does it start. "Very simple, you pull the cord and if it doesn't start right away keep pulling and start swearing." The priest is shocked. "I'm a man of the cloth. I may have sworn when I was younger but by now I've forgotten how." "Oh don't worry" says the seller "after couple of pulls it will come back to you."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Gas prices are so high these days I used v**... in my lawnmower,
... now my grass is half cut.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Irish lawnmower
p**... was waiting at the bus stop with m**... when a truck went by loaded with rolls of turf.
I gonna do that when I win the lottery, says p**....
What's dat? says m**....
Send me lawn away to be cut, says p**....
edit;typing
A woman took her husband to the doctor
The woman said "Doctor, for the last eight months my husband has thought that he is a lawnmower."
"Eight months?!" the doctor said, "Why in heaven's name didn't you bring him in sooner?!"
And the wife said "Because the neighbor just returned him this morning."
Regarding the SCOTUS approval of gay marriage, Iowa representative Steve King has just said (and this is a real quote) "you could marry your your lawnmower with this decision".
Marrying your lawnmower is fine, but when it comes time to leave, writing that John Deere letter is the toughest part.
I use to work for a hardware store.
I was being trained by this older gentlemen and he was telling me that the job was all about the up sale. I told me to watch as he went up to someone buying grass seed.
"You should buy this new lawn mower too. You don't want to be cutting your nice new grass with an old lawnmower."
So I turn around and see a guy with a box of tampons and give it a try.
"You should buy a new lawn mower. Your weekends ruined anyway, might as well cut the grass."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My homie only lets dudes use his lawnmower.
No h**... mow.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I asked my neighbour why his lawnmower was pink
He said: „Look, I didn't like the black and I can paint my s**... whatever color I want.
Who makes more money? A lawn mower or a fisherman?
The lawnmower... he gets grass income while the fisherman gets net income
I heard my lawnmower was going on a rampage...
It was going on a *grass*acre
[Grass acre, grass massacre](#spoiler)
My colleagues at work asked where I kept my garden tools....
"Don't you have a shed in your garden?"
"No."
"So where do you keep your lawnmower?"
"She shares the bed with me."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I think my lawnmower has a f**......
It always wants me to choke it
Curiosity killed the cat
And if that's not bad enough, my daughter's crying is so loud I can't think of a new name for the lawnmower!
