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Law School Jokes

42 law school jokes and hilarious law school puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about law school that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Law School Short Jokes

Short law school jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The law school humour may include short law student jokes also.

  1. My daughter asked why she can't just quit school I told her it's against the law and they'll put me in jail.
    My sweet sweet child looked me in the eye, and said: I'll visit you .
  2. so a law school student walks into a bar- -exam and walks out a lawyer! good job I'm so proud of him.
  3. If Laywers learn at pre-law but Doctors learn at pre-med, where do Teachers learn at? Pre-school
  4. My baby girl graduated law school today I am so proud to finally call her my daughter in law.
  5. My plan is to finish law school, and pass the bar. If that doesn't work out, I'll just open a bar and name it 'You Have Been Served'.
  6. DE-EVOLUTION At the rate law schools are turning them out, by 2050 there will be more lawyers than humans.
  7. A teacher at a law school made a bet with a student that the student would pay him money once he wins his first case. The teacher then immediately sued him for failure to pay.
  8. I was on the wrong side of the hallway at Harvard Law School... So I asked for permission to cross
  9. I was doing bench press with my Law School dropout friend yesterday... He was terrible. He couldn't even do the bar.
  10. Hillary Clinton says she will pass laws against high-school age interns. She said she's going to put a lot of collating minors out of business.

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Law School One Liners

Which law school one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with law school? I can suggest the ones about studying law and law firm.

  1. A man walks into the bar But fails since he was too busy drinking through law school
  2. As a law school drop out, I struggle with alcoholism... I just can't pass a bar
  3. What do you call a Priest who's in law school? A father in-law
  4. What do you call the guy that finished last in his class at law school? Your Honor.
  5. What do you buy a friend graduating from Law School? A law-botomy.
  6. How did the celibate Catholic priest become a father-in-law? He graduated law school.
  7. First rule of law school It's open to interpretations.
  8. You know what they say in Harvard Law school don't you? Probably exactly that ^.
  9. Where do vampires learn to s**... blood? Law School.

Silly Law School Jokes for a Good Time with Friends

What funny jokes about law school you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean lawyer bar jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make law school pranks.

In law school...

Professor: What is fraud?
Student: If you don't let me pass the exam, you've committed fraud.
Professor: (surprised) how so?
Student: According to the law, those who take advantage of others' ignorance to cause them losses are committing fraud.

Daughter asked me why she can't just quit school..

And I told her parents are required by the law to send kids to school and if they don't then they'll go to jail for breaking the law. My sweet child with a solemn look on her face looked me in the eye and said Mom I'll visit you.

It's irritating when students get ahead of themselves...

These days many college students assume that they're doing the job already. That's not how it works, you need to get the certification, or get the job.
Engineering students shouldn't call themselves engineers
Medical students shouldn't call themselves doctors
Law students shouldn't call themselves lawyers
Business school students shouldn't call themselves minions
And Art students certainly shouldn't call themselves baristas or waiters...

I am on the case prep team in law school. Our new fact pattern is based on the Sandusky Trial. What do you think of my theme for trial?

Coach Toledo may have been head coach of the Cougars, but he was not interested in the cougars. Coach Toledo was interested in the cubs.

I don't get why engineering students call themselves engineers when they aren't yet

I mean people in med schooling don't call themselves doctors,
law students don't call themselves lawyers,
and art students don't call themselves broke

Jail Time

My daughter hates school.
One weekend she cried and fretted and tried every excuse not to go back on Monday.
Sunday morning on the way home from brunch, the crying, and whining built to a crescendo.
At the end of my rope, I finally stopped the car and explained, Honey, it's a law. If you don't go to school, they'll put Daddy in jail.
She looked at me, thought a moment, then asked, How long would you have to stay?

How do you call a judge that only gives innocent veredicts because he gave up on law school and knows nothing?

a quitter.

Applying for a job, a new lawyer was asked if paying back his law school tuition would be any special problem.
He replied that he paid it back right after his first case.
When asked how he managed that, he said, "Well, my dad sued me for it and won."

What do you call a pack of sorority girls who aren't in law school?

Deez h**... ain't lawyers.

Some recent grads having a beer..

Three guys, Mike, Dave, and Doug were at a table in a bar enjoying some beers and conversation. A stranger came by and asked if he could join them and was immediately welcomed. After about an hour of lively conversation the stranger said, I can tell you are all recent college grads. I bet I can guess where each of you went to school.
That would be interesting, said Doug, I'd like to see how you could do that.
Well, Mike here, he's Harvard. That's easy. He's got the Haavard accent. He also made reference to some obscure points of business law and his stylish business suit seals the deal.
And Dave has got to be MIT. The smudged glasses and black t-shirt are a clue. He also made some references that show he has a good grasp of quantum theory and computer science.
That's amazing, said Doug. What about me?
Oh. You went to West Virginia University.
How do you know? asked Doug.
I saw your class ring while you were picking your nose.

Question from a Legal Ethics Law School Final Exam

A potential client comes into John's office and says he has been out of jail for 3 years and wants to check to make sure he is now officially off probation. John agrees to investigate. He tells the client it will cost him $100 if the matter can be handled with a simple phone call but he will have to bill by the hour if it requires any further investigation like writing a letter. The client agrees. He hands John a $100 bill and leaves the office. As John goes to put the money in a drawer he notices the client accidentally gave him two $100 bills stuck together.
Does John have to share the extra $100 with his partners?

Topical Jokes for 6/20

(For best results, imagine these being read by your favorite late night personality)
In Maryland, two teenagers have won a marbles championship. The winning teens quickly said thank you, then boarded their time machine, to return to the year 1937.
In Illinois, a university is offering a scholarship for students who play video games. The school was then forced to suspend the program when a student found out you could get unlimited scholarships, by pressing up up, down down, left right, left right, and B, A.
The Governor of Florida signed a law today making it legal to fire a warning shot at an attacker. The legalization of warning shots is important in Florida, because that's how people greet each other.
Starbucks is increasing the price of it drinks and bagged coffee. To protest the price hikes, customers vowed to boycott Starbucks, and go across the street — to a *different* Starbucks.

A grade school teacher was asking students...

...what their parents did for a living.
Timmy stood up and said, "My mom is a doctor!"
Sarah stood up and said, "My father is a professor!"
Little Johnny stood up and said, "My dad is a professional con artist!"
The teacher couldn't believe what she had just heard, so she made a point of calling Little Johnny's father that evening to discuss the situation.
Little Johnny's father explained, "Actually, I'm a law attorney, but how am I supposed to explain that to a seven year old kid?"

Poetry Contest

The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a Duke University Law School graduate from an upper crust family; well-bred, well-connected, and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a red-neck from Southeast Tennessee A & M. The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute or less and the poem had to contain the word "Timbuktu". The Duke graduate went first. About thirty seconds after the clock started, he jumped up and recited the following poem:
Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked the dusty caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination Timbuktu.
The audience went wild!! How, they wondered could the red neck top that?! The clock started again and the red neck sat in silent thought. Finally, in the last few seconds, he jumped and recited:
Tim and me, a-huntin' went.
Met three w**... in a pop-up tent.
They were three, we was two,
So, I bucked one and Timbuktu.

jokes about law school