Law And Order Jokes

30 law and order jokes and hilarious law and order puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about law and order that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Law And Order Short Jokes

Short law and order jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The law and order humour may include short law requiring jokes also.

  1. Trump keeps talking about restoring "law and order." I dunno about you, but I'd rather vote for a candidate who wants to restore Firefly.
  2. The only thing on TV to watch is Law and Order: SVU and ESPN... ..and they're both talking about child molesters.
  3. Thought of this in the car What do you call it when it's required by law to numerically organize everyone's yard?
    Lawn Order.
  4. I just barely crossed the finish line in a Law and Order 5k race. I would have got first, but the cops beat me to it.
  5. Crime TV shows aren't what they used to be That's why I support Donald Trump's promise to bring back Law and Order.
  6. What do you get when you cross the Cosby Show with Law & Order: SVU? Women Say the Darndest Things
  7. Why does California have the most lawyers and New Jersey have the most toxic dumps? New Jersey got to pick first.
    - from Law and Order
  8. You know the call Donald Trump "The Law and Order President", Because they are going to base three seasons of the show on him in a few years.
  9. There should be a show where cops sit around a restaurant table order appetizers and tell cop stories. The could call it "Law and hors d'oeuvres"
  10. Trump wants to pass a law banning grocery stores from selling shredded cheese... ... in order to "make America Grate again"

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Law And Order One Liners

Which law and order one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with law and order? I can suggest the ones about law enforcement and laws.

  1. What is a cats way of keeping law and order? Claw enforcement!
  2. I'm so tired of hearing Law and Order jokes. They've all been done done.
  3. I saw a Raisin on Law and Order SVU last night... It played a grape victim.
  4. What does a mathematician order from Popeyes? cos law
  5. How will the oakland PD maintain law and order during the warriors parade? Hella copters

Cheerful Fun Law And Order Jokes for Lovely Laughter

What funny jokes about law and order you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean crime jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make law and order pranks.

A creationist told me that evolution must be wrong because it violates the second law of thermodynamics

His claim was that in order for simple organisms like bacteria to evolve into much more complex life like fish and mice and horses and gorillas and people, an enormous input of energy would be required, therefore it must be impossible.
I stayed up all night trying to think of something that would refute his claim, and then it dawned on me.

A new law

Two guys walk into a bar and order lunch. "What brings you guys in today?" the bartender asks. "I guess you haven't heard yet. The mayor passed a law yesterday to try to help out local restaurants during Covid-19. All adult males are required to go and eat lunch out with their best male friends at least once a week," one of the guys answers the bartender. "Well it's not a law really," the other guy corrects him. "It's more of a mandate."

A billionaire goes for a drive

... and his Rolls Royce pulls up next to a stoplight, and he notices someone on the side of the road picking grass and eating it. He orders his driver to turn right, and park on the side of the road next to the man. He exits the vehicle and walks up to the man, and asks him, "sir, why are you eating grass?" The man says, "I am hungry, and have no money to eat with, so all I have to eat is grass." The billionaire says to the man, "well then, come with me to my mansion and I'll feed you." The man replies with, "I have children, and a wife." The billionaire replies with, "that's fine, bring them too." The man replies with, "we also live with my brother in law, his wife, and his kids." The billionaire replies, "Bring them all, I'll send to have them picked up." The man asks the billionaire, "why sir are you so kind to us?" The billionaire replies with, "my last lawn crew quit, and the grass in the front acre is nearly 2ft tall."

The lawyer called his client overseas...

..."Your mother-in-law passed away in her sleep and I can't reach any other relatives. Shall we order burial or cremation?"
Back came the reply, "Take no chances - order both."

Mother in law and stairs

Two old friends meet each other after a long time:
A: Oh hey, what's new?
B: Nothing much, my mother in law died.
A: Oh really, d**..., how?
B: She went downstairs to the basement to get some potatoes for lunch, fell and broke her neck.
A: That's tragic, what did you do then?
B: We ordered pizza.

Breaking News: Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan and North Korea to send a joint expeditionary force... Washington D.C. in order to bring peace, democracy and the rule of law to the troubled nation of United States of America.

My brother-in-law, a retired farmer, collects antique tractors.

He has an entire barn full of them, absolutely amazing, not even any room to walk, and all in perfect working order. He confided in me the other day what his worst fear is. "A barn fire?" I asked. "No, not at all. I'm afraid that when I am gone, my wife will sell all my tractors for what I told her I paid for them."

A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich.
When he receives the sandwich he eats it and then shoots the waiter and leaves the restaurant.
A policeman sees the panda and tells him he just broke the law.
The panda bear tells the policeman that he's innocent and, if he didn't believe him, to look in the dictionary.
The policeman gets a dictionary and looks up "panda bear."
It says, "Panda Bear: eats shoots and leaves."

A man is driving with his wife at his side and his mother-in-law in the backseat.
The women just won’t leave him alone.
His mother-in-law says, "You’re driving too fast!"
His wife says, "Stay more to the left."
After ten mixed orders, the man turns to his wife and asks, "Who’s driving this car – you or your mother?"

A physicist walks into a bar...

and orders two drinks, having one for himself and leaving the other one untouched at the stool beside him. The next day, the bartender notices that he does it again, and the day after, he does it a third time. When he does it a fourth time, the bartender finally asks him "why do you keep ordering two drinks but only having one?". In response, the physicist says "according to the laws of physics, there is a statistical chance that billions of atoms could align perfectly and form a beautiful woman sitting on the stool". The bartender then asks "why don't you just ask a woman to have a drink with you and see if she says yes?", to which the physicist replies "well what's the chance that that's actually going to happen?"