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Launch Jokes

117 launch jokes and hilarious launch puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about launch that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Introducing 'Launch Jokes', a hilarious collection of jokes about rocket launches, space launches and product launches! Read about rocket launches from Blue Origin and SpaceX as well as spacecraft, cosmonauts and missiles. Get ready for a serious dose of humor from the world of launches!

Funniest Launch Short Jokes

Short launch jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The launch humour may include short rocket jokes also.

  1. I've decided to launch a brand new dating app exclusively for Palaeontologists…….. I'm going to call it 'Carbon Dating'
  2. Victoria's Secret has launched a revolutionary new bra, "croatia" ..it has lot's of support but no cup
  3. Captan Kirk & Today's Shuttle Launch If William Shatner really wanted to go where no man had gone before , He should have just used the associates bathroom At the Amazon distribution center.
  4. What did fruit loops say when launching their product to compete with cheerios? Toucan play at that game
  5. The mafia have decided to get into online crime to keep upto date. They have just launched a new App called Pay-Up-Pal.
  6. Sylvester Stallone has launched a new range of cakes. I would highly recommend them. They are the best thing since Sly's bread.
  7. Why are the majority of firefighters men? They've been training with fluid launching cannons since the day they were born.
    I'll show myself out.
  8. Did you hear about the ancient Egyptian man that launched a successful stone quarry business? Turns out it was a pyramid scheme all along.
  9. Pakistan launches a rocket to Moon. Pakistani News channel reports: "Water and fishes found on Moon."
    BBC reports: "Pakistani satellite found in Arab sea."
  10. Today I launched a book aimed at 9-12 year olds... And I'm proud to say that I managed to hit one of the little brats!

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Launch One Liners

Which launch one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with launch? I can suggest the ones about startup and landing.

  1. Since this year they launched the iPhone 8/X We'll probably get to see 9/11 next year
  2. The nuclear launch codes have been updated. Now they're 281 letters long.
  3. If Canada launched a space shuttle, what would it be called? Apollo G
  4. What's the name of NASA's launch button? The "Space Bar"
  5. I launched a book aimed for 9-12 year olds And I'm proud to say I hit one of them
  6. SpaceX to launch ten cows up into orbit It'll be the herd shot around the world.
  7. Dolly Parton is launching a new face mask It's called worKN95
  8. OnlyFans launched a new step sibling content adult website... They call it OnlyFams!
  9. Tesla to launch a new Electric lawnmower It will be called e-Lawn!
  10. NASA launches bovines into space It was the herd shot round the world!
  11. What did the hungry missile say? When is launch at?
  12. When do astronauts eat? At launch time.
  13. What's Elon Musk's favorite meal of the day? Launch.
  14. Kim and Kanye's kid launched a new perfume in her own name. North—by North West.
  15. What did the bully say to Nasa? Gimmie (all) your launch money

Space Launch Jokes

Here is a list of funny space launch jokes and even better space launch puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A brand new car is being launched in Portugal, which includes space in the boot for a child. It's called the Renault McCann
  • Why did Elon Musk put a camera on his car when he launched it into space? The flat earthers unionized
  • Elon Musk launched the falcon heavy hoping to start a space race... Of course he wants a space race, he's the only one with a car up there
  • What is the difference between the American Revolutionary War and several cows being launched into space? One was the shot heard around the world and the other is a herd shot around the world.
  • My friend just launched the second hubble into space... A hubble bubble.
  • Godspeed Elon Musk I hope you successfully launch that heavy load into space.
  • The Canadian space program suffered a serious set back, today. During launch, there was a major malfunction in the primary propulsion system of the first stage vehicle. The rubber band broke.
  • By launching a Tesla to Mars Space X has accomplished the primary goal of the Boring Company. Avoiding LA traffic!
  • Elon Musk should launch a cow into space next. He could really raise the steaks to new heights in the space industry
  • Nice job Elon, it took decades of hard work and determination but you actually launched that car into space. Well done you! Two words though decoy snail

Rocket Launch Jokes

Here is a list of funny rocket launch jokes and even better rocket launch puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • So there's two astronauts on a rocket... One says to the other, "Get Ready, it's almost time for launch." To which the other says "Launch?! I haven't even had breakfast yet!"
  • You may not be aware of it, but NASA conducted an experiment during the Apollo mission days. They launched a collection of cows into orbit on a prototype rocket.
    It was a herd shot round the world.
  • Why was the rocket hungry? It was almost launch time.
  • The Kardashians are all in a rocket set to launch, you can press a button to stop the launch. Would you order a cheese or pepperoni pizza?
  • At what time in the day do rockets eat and why? At noon because they take LAUNCH.
  • What happens to a rocket when it doesn't launch? It gets fired.
  • If North Korea released a rocket launch blooper video... It'd be a feature-length film
  • I would tell a rocket joke... But I don't wanna launch myself into that conversation.
  • Why do some people think the falcon heavy launch was fake? Well, the rocket WAS staged
  • When is Kim Jong Un going to launch his rocket? I think it's gonna be a long long time.
Launch joke, When is Kim Jong Un going to launch his rocket?

Launch Missiles Jokes

Here is a list of funny launch missiles jokes and even better launch missiles puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Putin has started to launch missile attacks from submarines off the coast of an East African archipelago He shells Seychelles by the seashore
  • Pyongyang launches nuclear missile following end of US election Just kidding, thought I should lighten the mood a little.
  • TIL there are cool vessels that go underwater and can launch nuclear missiles!
  • Why did the North Korean missile launch fail? Because they have inferior military technology
  • Why Pyongyang the capital of North Korea? It is the same noise the elastic bands that launch their nuclear missiles make
  • North Korea launches short range missile - https://mobile.twitter.com/ThePoke/status/634995180320485376/video/1
  • Are you the USA to my North Korea Because I want to launch my missile into you
  • North Korea launches ballistic missile Oops. Bad sub.

Product Launch Jokes

Here is a list of funny product launch jokes and even better product launch puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Apple wanted to launch a new product directed at children. In retrospect, it was probably not the best idea to call it "iTouch Kids".
  • A pakistani food company is launching a new product... Its called,
    Allahu Snackbar

Book Launch Jokes

Here is a list of funny book launch jokes and even better book launch puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I want to launch a book about constipation But it didn't come out yet.
  • Last week I launched a book aimed at 9 to 12 year olds. I'm proud to say I hit one of the little s**....
Launch joke, Last week I launched a book aimed at 9 to 12 year olds.

Great Launch Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends

What funny jokes about launch you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mission jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make launch pranks.

A cow joke

Our professor started our lecture on ketosis of dairy cows by telling us about an exciting new research project at our veterinary school's dairy facility. They are working with NASA to launch some cows into outer space to orbit the earth. The title of the project is The herd shot round the world.

How many Syrians does it take to launch a missle?

Two. One to launch it, and one to watch CNN to find out where it landed.

When does an astronaut eat his favourite meal?

At launch time.

A conservative, a liberal and a moderate walk into a bar

The conservative orders a whisky, the liberal a white Russian. After a single sip of each they launch into a wild argument with each other.
The bartender turns and asks the moderate what he wants.
Replieth the moderate, "Nothing. I'm the one who has to drive them home."

Why are astrophysicists always nervous before they launch a new satellite?

It can be a very Hubble-ing experience.
These jokes may not be funny for you, but they are Fermi.

Researchers recently unveiled a device will launch stinging insects at high speeds.

It has beegun.

I think I'm starting to see why it's a bad idea to give Trump access to nuclear launch codes...

He'll just fire them

What is an astronaut's favorite meal?

*Launch*

North Korea's launch code

↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

How do they launch a champagne factory?

They throw a boat at it.

3... 2... 1... sandwich?

You fool!
You've pressed the LUNCH button,
not the LAUNCH button!

I wouldn't mind hilary clinton being president.

At least the nuclear launch codes would get deleted.

To silence her critics who hail her as Satan, Hillary is set to launch a new post-apocalyptical video game after winning the election!

It's called President Evil.

We don't have to worry about Trump having the nuclear launch codes.

His hands are too small to push the button.

when did star wars launch

during the ray gun administration

I'm launching an app that reads out nihilist quotes.

It's aimed at a Nietzsche market

Chuck Norris launch a bomb.

It makes 263 deaths, and the bomb explode.

Breaking News : Apple soon to launch their cars.

with no windows though.

I was kicked out of NASA today.

Apparently; "To Bed Bath and Beyond!" is not an appropriate quote to say during launch.

Trump administration is good

because its been more than 100 days and he still hasn't tweeted the nuclear launch codes

What do North Korea and Matthew McConaughey have in common?

Failure to Launch

The US Navy is starting to worry about the North Korean military.

Since all the missles they launch at Washington end up hitting the ocean, the odds are they will eventually hit a ship.

I saw Comedy Central launch a funny non-political TV show...

Then I woke up

A millihelen.

A face that could launch one ship...

What did the astronaut say after breakfast?

What's for launch?

I should of bought some SpaceX stock yesterday before the launch.

I heard it really skyrocketed.

A vacuum cleaner company removed their latest model from stores a week after launch,

All user reviews said that it s**....

Why did NASA delayed the launch of the JWST to May 2020?

Because they see it as a perfect vision.

Where will a pornstar launch her new tech startup?

Silicone Valley

Why didn't cops like EA's Star Wars Battlefront II at launch?

Lack of squads.

Did you hear about the new pickle flavored bread?

So since Pickle flavor is in style now with sonics new pickle juice shake, I think I'm going to launch a line of pickle flavored pastry. I'm going to call it Dilldough.

To celebrate the launch of the new website we are offering one lucky winner $50 in cash or a meal for 2 at an Elvis Presley tribute.

Just comment '1' for the money or '2' for the show.

I think that the nuclear launch codes should be kept in the hands of women, and those codes should also represent the number of s**... partners they have had.

That way they will never give up the real numbers under any circumstances.

I see they have just launched a new p**...-mag for h**... paedophiles. Its called....

Barely Foetal

After Peter Jackson's successful launch of World War 1 documentary They Will Not Grow, George Lucas has announced he is making a documentary of World War 2 with remastered footage.

Spoiler: France invades first.

The president opens his curtains on a snowy morning when he sees that someone had urinated the words "The president s**..." on the lawn.

Furious, the president orders the FBI to launch an investigation.
Two hours later, the head of the FBI calls the president. "Sir, we have bad news, and we have even worse news. The u**... was the Vice Presidents".
The President responds, "What? What could be worse than this?"
The head of the FBI says,"The handwriting was the First Lady's".

In an alternate universe, the Curiosity rover launch moments after lift-off.

As the rover exploded mid air, the broken pieces of Curiosity fell back to the face of Earth and scattered across the land. Unfortunately, a particularly sharp piece just happened to impale a cat walking about outside.
They said that Curiosity killed the cat.

I once tried launching an aeroplane business.

It never took off.

We are launching a Food App that will help you lose your weight

You'll order but we won't deliver.

What's the meal that the people at NASA usually skip?

Launch.

It was recently announced that on July 20th, Jeff Bezos and his brother will launch into space on one of his Blue Origin spacecraft

If nothing else, now they will know what it's like to p**... in a bottle

Scottish Sutherland Vertical Launch facility will not launch manned flights.

Their afraid the astronauts might get kilt.

Today SpaceX announced plans to launch several Guernsey cows into low earth orbit

They shall be known as "The Herd Shot Round The World."

Launch joke, Today SpaceX announced plans to launch several Guernsey cows into low earth orbit

jokes about launch