Great Laughter Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
The pharmacist
Peter walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for a pack of condoms. Paying for them, he bursts into laughter and walks out of the store.
The next day he comes in again, buys condoms, and walks out laughing.
Thinking this is somewhat strange, the pharmacist asks his assistant to follow the man if he comes back.
Sure enough, Peter comes in the next day and walks out laughing. This time assistant goes after him, returning 20 minutes later.
So did you follow him? asks pharmacist
Yup.
Where did he go?
Your house.
Where did Napoleon keep his armies?
IN HIS SLEEVIES!
Best used with little kids, or followed by maniacal laughter.
Getting a haircut is a lot like the first time with a new lover...
There isn't really any conversation besides some nervous laughter and her asking me "How long has it been?" and "Do you like that?" and I'm never sure how much tip is appropriate.
Then I pay her, say thanks, and leave.
It is Fred's first day in prison.
After spending the morning being processed, he is taken to the huge mess hall for lunch. He finds a seat at a table full of inmates who look like they have been behind bars for years. Suddenly, an inmate stands in the middle of the room and yells, "41!" As he sits down, the room erupts in laughter. Then another prisoner stands and yells, "123!" Again, there is laughter throughout the room.
Puzzled, Fred asks the inmate sitting next to him what's going on. "Well," the older inmate says, "Most of us have been here so long that we have heard all the jokes. So we just number them and use the number."
Fred says, "I love to tell jokes! Give me one."
"Okay," says the older inmate. "Everybody loves old 72. It always gets a big laugh"
Fred stands up, waits for the laughter to die down from the last joke, and yells, "72!" There is nothing but silence as hundreds of inmates just turn and stare at him.
Fred sits down and looks at the inmate who gave him the number.
"What happened?" he asks.
The older man shrugs and says, "Some people just can't tell a joke."
A man is spending his first night in prison...
He's laying in his bunk when the lights go out. After a few minutes, he hears someone shout, "13!" followed by a chorus of laughter.
Another few minutes go by and he hears, "27!" followed by more laughter.
"What's going on?" he asks his cell mate.
"Well, we've heard the same jokes so many times, we just gave them all numbers so we don't have to waste time repeating them."
A little more time passes and then someone erupts, "34!" to a few guffaws.
The man decides to try and join in by yelling, "19!"
He is greeted by silence. He asks his bunkmate, "Why didn't they laugh?"
His bunkmate replies, "You didn't tell it right."
How many Indians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Your laughter is important to us.
You punchline will be delivered in the order in which it was requested.
[Programmer Joke] Why did the int drown?
Because he couldn't float! (Insert laughter here)
![Laughter joke, [Programmer Joke] Why did the int drown?](/images/jokes/laughter-jokes-at-what-frequency-does-laughter-become-painfuln-n.jpg "Laughter joke, [Programmer Joke] Why did the int drown?")
I got kicked out of the cancer ward at my hospital today.
Apparently laughter isn't the best medicine.
Dads
(Dad support group)
Hi, I'm dad
"Hi dad, I'm dad"
*room breaks into laughter*
*dads starts building a shed together*
If laughter was the best medicine...
Your face would cure the world!
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine...
Which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.
/Jack Handy
You can explore laughter snigger reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean laughter madly dad jokes. There are also laughter puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A mom buys an old parrot from a w**.....
A mom buys an old parrot in a w**... and proceeds to bring it home for the family to enjoy their new pet.
As she brings the parrot inside the house the parrot says "ah, new house!" and she bursts in laughter.
Later that day, the daughters arrive from school and promptly the parrot says "ah, new house, new prostitutes!" and they all burst in laughter.
Some time goes by, and after a long day of work the dad finally arrives home, and without wasting time, the parrot says "ah, new house, new prostitutes, same old customers. Good night Mr. Williams"
Children's laughter can be a wonderful thing
Unless its 2AM and you don't have any kids.
A cardiologist died...
..and was given an elaborate f**.... A huge heart, covered in flowers, stood behind the casket during the service.
Following the eulogy, the heart opened and the casket rolled inside. The beautiful heart then closed, sealing the doctor inside, forever.
At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said: "I'm sorry. I was just thinking of my own f**.....I'm a gynecologist."
The proctologist fainted.
Why was h**... a great comedian?
Cuz you can't spell s**... without laughter
They say laughter is the best medicine
Thats why I always make sure to laugh when someone tells me they have cancer.
A friend of mine died last friday, while drinking his martini
It's on that day I learnt an important lesson:
Though laughter is the best medicine, in certain situations the Heimlich maneuver may be more appropriate.
I heard laughter is the best medicine
I heard laughter is the best medicine, so I went to the local hospital, found some cancer patients, and laughed at them.
A man goes to recieve tests results from the doctor
A worried man goes to recieve tests results from the doctor. Stepping into the office, he says "Give it to me straight doc! Just do it!"
The doctor replies, "No, I'm not gay."
They both burst into laughter. "Besides", the doctor says, "I don't want h**..."
A man asks a woman:
"-Did you know that laughter is second best way to convince a girl to have s**... with you ? "
"-Really, what is the first ?"
"-A knife."
"-Hahaha, you're so funny !"
"-Good choice."
There's nothing like the laughter of a baby at 1 AM...
Unless you live alone
They say that laughter is the best medicine.
Well, I have diarrhea and it's making it worse.
A man took his dog to the movie with him...
...and during the movie the dog howled with laughter at the jokes, wagged his tail merrily and at the end put his paws together and applauded. The movie staff saw this and were bewildered so after the movie one of the ushers approached the man and said to him, "We were all amazed, your dog really seemed to enjoy the movie." And the man said, "I know, it's so weird! He hated the book."
There's nothing quite as enjoyable as the sound of a child's laughter
unless of course it's 3am and you don't have kids
If laughter is a drug...
The real coke is in the comments!
Opposite of laughter
A teacher asked a student "What's the opposite of laughter?"
Student replied: "s**..."
Teacher stood shocked for few seconds, then asked: "what made you think that's the answer?"
Student: "When you laugh you say *ha ha ha*, and when you have s**... you say *ah ah ah*".
Laughter is the best medicine.
Unless they have cancer. You can laugh at them all day and they still don't get better.
Frank's been drinking too much at the dinner party and decides to give a toast to his wife
"To my wife, the love of my life, and the sexiest woman I know. But it's too bad only one of those three is here tonight!"
There was a burst of laughter from the crowd, but Frank's wife took it in stride, raising here glass for a toast of her own.
"To my husband, a good provider, and the father of my children. Too bad only one of those could make it."
A baby's laughter can be the most beautiful sound you will ever hear...
Unless it's 3am
And you're home alone
And you don't have a baby...
Whomever said laughter is the best medicine...
clearly hasn't tried curing diarrhea with a tickle fight.
Can you work a pole?
So the other night my friends and I are having a few drinks and our one female friend is an ex-stripper, so we got into the topic of dancing and she looked at me and said yeah, can you work a pole xschlots? And for some reason the first comment that comes out is I mean yeah my family's mostly German. Working poles was our thing I have never heard a more deafening silence followed by laughter
If laughter is the best medicine,
Then, clearly I can't be a doctor.
If laughter is the best medicine
You can be sure your insurance won't cover it.
Laughter is the 2nd best
Boy:- Laughter is the 2nd best method to convince a girl to have s**.....
Girl:- What's the 1st one??
Boy:- A Knife.
Girl:- HaHaHa, you're funny..
Boy:- Good choice
Dad always said that laughter is the best medicine,
which is why several of us died from tuberculosis.
At what frequency does laughter become painful
1 gigglehurts
They say laughter is the best medicine
That's why I laugh at people with AIDS
If laughter is the best medicine...
Why am I dying of it?
Early One Morning
Woke early one morning, the earth lay cool and still.
When suddenly a tiny bird, perched on my window sill.
It sang a song so lovely, so carefree and gay.
That slowly all my troubles, began to slip away.
It sang of far off places, of laughter and of fun.
It seemed his very song, brought out the morning sun.
I pulled back the covers, and crept slowly out of bed,
and gently shut the window, and crushed his head.
I'm not a morning person
I work as a spy for the US government.
One of my more deadly assignments involved going after a mad scientist in Italy. I was having dinner with one of my contacts over some delicious cheesy rigatoni. Then, out of nowhere, I was hit by a shrink ray and tossed into my food with the sound of evil laughter. Fraught by the perils of steaming hot carbs around me, I knew that for now, escape would have to be my mission.
Mission in pasta bowl.
Guy gets sent to prison. 1st night, someone yells 39, whole prison laughs. Next night, someone yells 2, prison again erupts in laughter. Guy asks lifer what gives. Lifer explains there's a joke book, been passed around for years. Dudes memorize # & corresponding joke. Guy gets book & memorizes a few
That night he yells, 24!!! Nothing...
Next night, 9!! Crickets
He asks the lifer the next day what's happening...
Lifer says: some people just can't tell jokes
My two year-old son told his first joke today. Afterwards, he burst out laughing for about 5 minutes straight saying 'I'm so funny' over and over again.
The joke.
Son comes in carrying a soft toy, a cow.
Son: "Mummy Mummy cow is being noisy!"
Mummy: "How is cow being nois---"
Son: "Moooooooo!!!!"
Then bursts into loud laughter.
Love this kid!
How do you stop laughter?
Add an S
One joke I've heard
They say laughter is the best medicine. So, maybe, if we keep laughing at people in wheelchairs...
They say that laughter is the best medicine.
Then, why was I kicked out the cancer ward for laughing at the patients?
You can't spell manslaughter without man's laughter
But can spell m**... without any letters from sanity.
My dad always said laughter was the best medicine.....
Probably why so many of my siblings died from tuberculosis.
My 3 year old's knock knock joke - innocence shattered
3 yr old: Knock Knock Daddy!
Me: Who's there?
3 yr old: (excitedly waving around their fork heaped with spaghetti and slinging sauce everywhere) Fork!
Me: Fork who?
*wife and I lock eyes; we each slowly make "the face" as we realize what is about to come out of our 3 year old's mouth*
3 yr old: Fork you Daddy!!!!! (delirious laughter)
(for those who aren't parents, imagine how someone who is learning to talk might pronounce "fork you"). My 3yr old lost their innocence in my eyes today. May as well pack them up and get them ready for college.
Men are afraid of women's laughter...
Women are afraid of manslaughter.
I need help translating my 11 month old's joke
"Dya nag nag da Mya gad... UH OH!" Followed by enormous laughter. Thanks for any help
So Hawaii recently made a new law in regards to noise and the increase of noise complaints due to an uprising in loud laughter.
They now have to use a low ha
A man gets sent to prison for the first time.
In the middle of the night, he still can't sleep. Suddenly, he hears a prisoner yell out "18!" and everyone laughs.
Then a few minutes later, another prisoner yells "25!". Thunderous laughter, louder than the first.
Then another few minutes later, someone yells "62!". Silence.
Puzzled, the man whispers to his bunkmate, "What's going on?"
"Well," he replies, "we've been in here so long that we all know the same jokes. So we just yell the numbers to save time.
"OK. But why did no one laugh at that last one?"
"Oh, that's Tommy. He doesn't know how to tell a joke."
Why are hyenas the healthiest animals on the planet?
Because laughter is the best medicine.
A cardiac specialist died and at his f**... the coffin was placed in front of a huge mock up of a heart made up of flowers. When the pastor finished with the sermon and eulogy, and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart opened, the coffin rolled inside and the heart closed.
Just then one of the mourners burst into laughter.
The guy next to him asked: "Why are you laughing?"
"I was thinking about my own f**..." the man replied.
"What's so funny about that?"
"I'm a gynecologist."
Laughter
A man walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for a pack of condoms. Paying for them, he bursts into laughter and walks out of the store. The next day, the guy comes in again, buys condoms, and again walks out laughing. Thinking this is somewhat strange, the pharmacist asks his assistant to follow the man if he comes back. Sure enough, the man comes in the next day and walks out laughing. This time the assistant goes after him, returning 20 minutes later. "So did you follow him?" asks the pharmacist. "Sure did," replies the assistant.
"Where did he go?" asks the curious pharmacist. "Your house."
What kind of laughter gets you a prison sentence?
Manslaughter.
Why did the comedian refuse to go to the doctor?
He thought laughter was the best medicine.
Grandfathers have the purest sense of humor.
My grandfather is close to 90 years old and has to take medication. One day, my aunt gave him his pills, and the cogs in his brain began to turn.
Grandpa after being given his medication: Tell everyone I'm on the pill.
Aunt:.....
Grandaunt: \*Howling with laughter when hearing the story over a phone call\*
An abderite sees an e**... alogside a woman
He asks him: "is this your wife?". The e**... answers: "eunuchs can't have wives".
"So is it your daughter?".
I browsed through Philogelos ("Love of Laughter") which is the oldest joke collection that has survived. It is written in ancient Greek. Also, it was pretty funny when I dicovered that an Abderite was used inside Greek's jokes as an archtype for an idiot (Abderia was a city in Thrace).
I was hanging out with my Scizophrenic friend and all of a sudden he bursted into fits of laughter
I asked what was so funny and he said "you wouldn't get it, it's an inside joke"
In Laughter, the L comes first
The rest of the letters come aughter it.
I always put my laughter in a jar...
I make the best laughing stock in town
Happy St. Patrick's Day! I told an Irishman a dad joke.
He was Dublin over with laughter.
I was going to tell you a joke about the Irish…
But I didn't want you Dublin over with laughter.
My 2 year old told his first joke.
We were walking down to the car and he put his hands in his pockets. He says oh mummy what's that in my pocket.
I dont know sweetheart let's see what it is
Pulls out his hands and shouts 'my hands' and does jazz hands and kills himself laughing.
He takes after his dad. His smile and laughter made my day.
It is i**... to tell a joke to Optimus Prime.
You may be charged with vehicular mans laughter.
Psychiatrist asks two patients to act they're in a grocery store
he told them that if they do it well, he'll sign them off the hospital.
so the first asks for one gallon of potatoes
the second one bursts into laughter
the doctor was happy his patient is cured, but asks him for confirmation : "why are you laughing ?"
\- because, he wants to buy a gallon of potatoes and he didn't bring a bottle
At a Diplomats' dinner, a waiter tripped
and shattered the beautiful plate in which he was carrying a large turkey.
Hushed silence turned into a roar of laughter, when
the quick-witted Diplomat announced:
"Ladies and Gentlemen!
You have just witnessed 4 major international events happening :-
Fall of Turkey
Breakup of China
Spillage of Greece
and Frustration of Hungary!"
An Engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician enter a bar
Engineer: My good sirs, without engineers people would still be living in huts
Physicist: But alas my good sir, engineering is simply applied physics
Mathematician: But alas my good sir, physics is simply applied mathematics
"hearty laughter"
Philosopher: But alas my good sirs, mathematics is only applied philosophy
Mathematician: shut up and get us our d**... drinks
Why did the Doctor tell a patient "Laughter is the best medicine"?
"Doc, I don't get it. What are you trying to tell me? I need actual medicine-"
"-This is how much the bill would be if I actually treated you."
The patient stared at the paper, then quietly chuckled, followed by hysterical sobs.
