Laugh Out Loud Jokes
48 laugh out loud jokes and hilarious laugh out loud puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about laugh out loud that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Laugh Out Loud Short Jokes
Short laugh out loud jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The laugh out loud humour may include short laugh your head off jokes also.
- My Hawaiian HOA passed a noise ordinance so strict that I can't even laugh out loud. All i can do is a low ha.
- A man has been stealing wheels of police cars Police are working tirelessly to catch him
Note: saw it on 9gag but I had to share it because I literally was laughing out loud - Did you hear they just passed a law that you aren't aloud to laugh out loud in Hawaii? They only allow A low ha
- Did you know Hawaiians never laugh very loud? They just give aloha!
Credit to the roommate, caught me off guard - Told this joke to my mom, and my dad overheard and laugh loudly, proud moment for me. Even until now knives keep being...Cutting edge technology
- Heard this from a waiter at dinner tonight. Hey baby, my name is Olaf...like the snowman. Mind if I melt inside you?
Five star restaurant I am laughing out loud right now hahaj - What's a joke suitable for a class of 10 year olds that both you, an adult, and they will actually laugh out loud at? Sorry, no punch line here. Just a legitimate question.
- How do you spell "laughing out loud" by using binary? 1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1
- I'm really good at making women laugh out loud When they see me n**... for the first time...
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Laugh Out Loud One Liners
Which laugh out loud one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with laugh out loud? I can suggest the ones about laughing hard and lots of laugh.
- Do people in Hawaii laugh out loud? Or do they just give out a low ha ?
- Is loud laughing allowed in Hawaii? No?.. I should really start doing Somoa research..
- Do Hawaiians laugh really loud? Or is it just Aloha?
- Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii? Or just a low ha
- Q: When do accountants laugh out loud?
A: When somebody asks for a raise. - Spell "attic" without laughing out loud
- Apparently, it is i**... to laugh loudly in Hawaii All you can do is a low HA
Cheeky Laugh Out Loud Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about laugh out loud you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean laughed so hard jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make laugh out loud pranks.
The Pope dies and arrives in Heaven
St. Peter awaits him. St. Peter asks who he is.
The Pope: "I am the pope."
St. Peter: "Who? There's no such name in my book."
The Pope: "I'm the representative of God on Earth."
St.Peter: "Does God have a representative? He didn't tell me ..."
The Pope: "But I am the leader of the Catholic Church ..."
St. Peter: "The Catholic church ... Never heard of it ... Wait, I'll check with the boss."
St. Peter walks away through Heaven's Gate to talk with God.
St. Peter: "There's a dude standing outside who claims he's your representative on earth."
God: "I don't have a representative on earth, not that I know of ... Wait, I'll ask Jesus." (yells for Jesus)
Jesus: "Yes Dad, what's up?"
God and St. Peter explain the situation.
Jesus: "Wait, I'll go outside and have a little chat with that fellow."
Ten minutes pass and Jesus reenters the room Jeffery Epstien didn't kill himself laughing out loud. After a few minutes St. Peter asks Jesus why he's laughing.
Jesus: "Remember that fishing club I've started 2000 years ago? It still exists!"
What's Behind The Fig Leaf?
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local h**....
The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while 'the lights would turn off.'
Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.
However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, 'May I please use the restroom?
The bartender replied, 'OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a n**... man in there wearing only a fig leaf.'
'Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way,' said the nun.
So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. !
She went to the bartender and said, 'Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?'
'Well, now they know you're one of us,' said the bartender, 'Would you like a drink?'
'No thank you, but, I still don't understand,' said the puzzled nun.
'You see,' laughed the bartender, 'every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.
Now, how about that drink?
Speechmaking
When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his chauffeur (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.
"I have an idea, boss," his chauffeur said. "I've heard you give this speech so many times. I'll bet I could give it for you."
Einstein laughed loudly and said, "Why not? Let's do it!"
When they arrive at the dinner, Einstein donned the chauffeur's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The chauffeur gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein's speech and even answered a few questions expertly.
Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody's fool.
Without missing a beat, the chauffeur fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, "Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my chauffeur, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me."
edit=correct word(s)
Cardiologist
A heart surgeon had died and at his funural the coffin was placed above a heart made of flowers. After everyone had said goodbye the coffin was lowered into the heart, during which someone began laughing really loud. 'What is wrong with you?' the person sitting next to the laughing man asked. 'I just thought of my own funural' he replied. 'What's so funny about that?' Still chuckling the man answered: 'Well, you see, I'm a gynaecologist'.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
The man and the giraffe start drinking. Being a giraffe in a bar of all places, the pair are quite popular and patrons buy them quite a few rounds of shots. As closing time approaches, the man and giraffe get up to leave, but the giraffe is too drunk and collapses on the ground. The man looks back, laughs, and keeps walking out the door.
The barman yells "Hey! You can't that lyin' there!"
"That's not a lion, it's a giraffe".
_____
Yes, it works better out loud.
Psychology and the Law.
A guy was looking for a place to sit in a crowded university library. He asked a girl *"Do you mind if I sit beside you ?"*
The girl replied in a loud voice:
*"NO I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"*...
All the people in the library started staring at the guy, he was deeply embarrassed and moved to another table.
After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy's table and said with a laugh:
*"I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking, I guess you felt embarrassed, right?"*
The guy then responded in a loud voice:
*"$500 FOR ONE NIGHT ? ... THAT'S TOO MUCH!"*
All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.
The guy whispered to her: *"I study law, and I know how to screw people"*.
At the office during lunch, Susan from sales stands up and yells, "53!".
All her other coworkers in the canteen laugh hysterically. A moment later Bob from accounting stands up and says, "41!". All in the canteen laugh even more loudly. A new hire in the canteen asks his coworker to his left, Joe from marketing, what was going on. Joe's answer: "We have hundreds of jokes circulating throughout the office, and each one is assigned a different number. Most of the jokes are very long, so to save time, instead of telling the entire joke, we just announce the number of the joke instead." At this moment Derek from the IT department, in the back of the canteen, stands up and squeaks in a rather uninspired way, "12!" No one laughs. Joe from marketing explains to the new hire, "some people just can't tell a good joke."
Music theory joke
So I was in my second year theory class and the teacher was working with students individually at the piano on compositions.
It started to get loud so the professor said, "Alright, unless you are telling jokes about secondary dominants, there shouldn't be any laughing."
I immediately raise my hand and after being called on I say; "So this hemiola, this secondary dominant and this anacrusis all walk into a bar".
The professor asks if there is punch line and I respond; "Of course, the anacrusis says to the other two, hey I bet I get picked up before you guys do"!
Killed it.
A man observed that everyday a group of ladies come to park and keep talking and laughing loudly.
Then one day he noticed that everybody was silent.Suspecting some serious issue he went to one of ladies and asked - *Why is everybody silent today?*
The lady replied - *All are present today*
A Day in the Library
A guy is looking for a place to sit in the crowded library.
He asked a girl: "Do you mind if I sit beside you?"
The girl replied in a loud voice: "I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"
All the students in the library started staring at the guy; he was truly embarrassed and moved to another table.
After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy's table and said with a laugh: "I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking. I guess you felt embarrassed, right?
The guy then responded in a loud voice:
"$500 FOR ONE NIGHT? ... . . THAT'S ROBBERY!"
All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.
The guy then whispered in her ear: "I study law: I know how to screw people."
Psychology vs Law
A guy was looking for a place to sit in a crowded university library.
He asked a girl: "Do you mind if I sit beside you?"
The girl replied in a loud voice: "I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"
All the students in the library started staring at the guy,
He was truly embarrassed and moved to another table.
After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy's table,
and said with a laugh: "I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking.
I guess you felt embarrassed, right?"
The GUY then responded in a loud voice:
"Rs.5000/- FOR ONE NIGHT!! ISN'T THAT TOO MUCH?"
All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.
The guy whispered to her:
"I study law and I know how to screw people."
Some ladies were sitting in a park..
Some ladies were sitting in a park every day. One man was observing them daily as they were talking and laughing loudly.
One day he observed everybody was silent. There must be some serious issue or incident that happened.So he went to a Lady and asked, "Why everybody is silent today?"
The lady replied, "All Are Present Today."
So a farmer walks into a bar with a horse...
He says, "I will give any of you $1,000 if you can make my horse laugh."
A man yells, "I'll take that bet," and leads the horse into the men's room.
After a couple seconds, a loud braying laugh is heard from behind the door. The farmer screams to the man, "OK, I'll give you $2,000 if you can make my horse cry."
The man shouts, "You're on!"
After a few more seconds, the man exits with the horse trudging behind him with tears streaming down his long-snout. Flabbergasted, the farmer asks, "How did you do it?"
The man replies, "I said that my d**k was bigger than his and he laughed. Then I showed it to him."
A man has just died.
As his soul leaves his body and begins to float towards the clouds, he hears a loud, booming voice.
**"Come. Come towards the light, my son."**
And so he does.
Meanwhile, atop his cloud, God laughs, as another human hits his bug zapper.
The other day during lunch break I saw one of my colleagues playing some kind of war game on his smartphone. As I poured my coffee I asked him about the game he was playing and we started small talking. Few minutes into our small talk he stated that so far he'd spend $700 in in game purchases.
I bursted into a loud laughter while shouting how that was the stupidest thing and biggest waste of money I've ever heard of!
Man, I was still laughing out loud in disbelief walking off and even still chuckling as I entered the smoking room
Three old ladies lived together.
1st old lady was in the bathroom on the second floor and she yelled to the other two, I need help, I can't remember if I was about to take a shower or if I already took it . The second old lady was down stairs and she started going up the stairs to go help, but as she reached the second floor she stopped and wondered out loud, did I come up the stairs or was I going down? Seeing all this the third old lady who was sitting down started laughing and she muttered I'm so glad I'm not as dumb and crazy as those two, oh knock on wood and she knocked on the wooden table. She then got up and yelled to the other two I'll go help you but first I gotta go see who's at the door .
Father buys a lie detector that makes a loud beep whenever somebody tells a lie.
The son comes home in the afternoon. Father asks him, So, you were at school today, right? Son: Yeah. Detector: Beep. Son: OK, OK, I was in a cinema. Detector: Beep. Son: Alright, I went for a beer with my friends. Father: What?! At your age, I wouldn't touch alcohol! Detector: Beep. Mother laughs: Ha ha ha, well, he really is your son! Detector: Beep.
A biker gang comes into a transport cafe
and start picking on a little middle-aged man just sitting down to an all-day breakfast. They steal most of it, spit in his tea, and pull away his chair from under him, until eventually he gives up and walks out silently.
They laugh loudly and say to the waitress "He wasn't much of a man, was he?"
"No," she says, "and he's not much of a truck driver either -- he's just backed an eighteen-wheeler over a whole line of motorbikes."
My two year-old son told his first joke today. Afterwards, he burst out laughing for about 5 minutes straight saying 'I'm so funny' over and over again.
The joke.
Son comes in carrying a soft toy, a cow.
Son: "Mummy Mummy cow is being noisy!"
Mummy: "How is cow being nois---"
Son: "Moooooooo!!!!"
Then bursts into loud laughter.
Love this kid!
A little boy was doing his math homework and practicing out loud, Two plus six, that son of a b**... is eight...
Three plus seven, that son of a b**... is ten."
Hearing what he was saying, his mother asked him what he was doing. He answered that he was doing his math homework.
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" she asked her son to which he replied yes.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher what she is teaching in math class. The teacher said, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked if she was teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a b**... is four.
Laughing, the teacher replied, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."
It was a sad and disappointing day when I discovered my Universal Remote Control did not, in fact, control the Universe.
Not even remotely.
(I stole this joke from fb and it made my drunk a**... laugh out loud so I wanted to share but I'm sorry if it's a repost)
Calling 9-1-1
A guy walks into a bar after a long day of work to relax and have a beer. Unfortunately there is a big group of young men crowded into the bar laughing loudly and carrying on. Finally, in exasperation, the guy calls 9-1-1. "Hello, 911, what is your emergency?" the dispatcher asks. "These men won't stop laughing," the guy complains."Okay that sounds annoying but it's not a crime," the dispatcher says. "Well, what the heck is manslaughter then?" the guy complains.
Was driving through downtown Pigeon Forge and dropped this one…
So Pigeon Forge, Tennessee (US), is a HUGE tourist trap. We're talking zip lines, roller coasters, Ripley's Believe it or Not museum, Ferris wheels, life sized King Kong, etc.
Anywhoo, I was driving the family through this insanity when my wife pointed out a building to the kids and said look at that one with all the giraffes on top! I wonder what that is! Without missing a beat I said, Welcome, to Giraffic Park! And hummed the theme song while navigating through a left hand turn. I was proud and laughed out loud at my own joke. My 7 year old loved it.
Groaned a whole store with this one.
I was buying new tires for my car. While I was discussing my options the person down the counter was flustered at the prices she was being offered. To this she loudly asked:
"I put the same ones on my husbands Jeep last year! What happened? Why are they so expensive?!"
To which I looked at over and loudly stated. "Inflation."
The guys behind the counter laughed. The rest of the room groaned out a chorus of dadjoke music that should have been filmed live in front of a studio audience.
I daily observe a group of ladies sitting in the park Talking and Laughing Loudly.
One day I observed all the ladies were silent. There must be some Serious issue or Incident that Happened. So I went to a Lady and asked, "Why everybody is Silent Today?"
The Lady replied, "All Are Present Today."
It took me a whole minute to understand this.
