The Best 75 Laugh Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Laugh jokes. There are some laugh smile jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these laugh laugh your head off puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Laugh Jokes and Puns

A man goes to his male doctor after several tests and tells him, "Give it to me straight doc!"

The doctor replies, "That's impossible, we're both male." They both laugh and the doctor says, "Besides, I don't want AIDS"

Romney was asked about the Chinese going to the moon...

He responded that when they are up there, they will be able to see the flag we planted over 40 years ago. This is a pretty clever comeback. But the last laugh is on us. The US flags are now all beached white due to the unprotected exposure to the sun's UV radiation. This means the Chinese will think the French made it first.

"I own a small allotment...", So far I'm the only person I've heard laugh at this joke.

I own a small allotment. Every night someone throws soil in on top of in. I've absolutely no idea why.

The plot thickens.

Laugh joke, "I own a small allotment...", So far I'm the only person I've heard laugh at this joke.

Playing Oregon Trail.

You meet a man on the Oregon Trail. He tells you his name is Terry. You laugh and tell him, That's a girl's name! Terry shoots you. You have died of dissin' Terry.

Five secrets of a perfect Relationship

1. It`s important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks, cleans and has a job.
2. It`s important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It`s important to have a woman you can trust and who would never lie.
4. It`s important to have a woman who is good in bed and likes being with you.
5. It`s absolutely important that these four women never meet.


A wise man once said...

"If you make a woman laugh, you've half-undressed her."

However, if you half-undress and she laughs, that's a different thing altogether.

One of my black friends told me this, and I didn't know if I should laugh: What do you call a black hitchhiker?

Stranded

Laugh joke, One of my black friends told me this, and I didn't know if I should laugh: What do you call a black

Childish but made me laugh

How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Show him a used tampon and ask, "What period is this from?"

I am so high and I made up a joke and I want to tell it and make someone laugh but no one is home so: Whats an epileptics favorite food?

SEIZURE SALAD.

I peed

Iยดm at the ATM when a robber holding his gun at my back...

He asks: do you want to see your family again?
I said "no".
We both had a good laugh.

I said this when I was 6, and everyone laughed

Two twins came to our house one day, and I kept calling them the wrong names (they were their names, but I said Harry to Thomas and vice-versa)

My dad came to me and said 'can't tell them apart, can ya?'

'No dad, I can't tell 'em together!'

(Waits for downvotes)

You can explore laugh hilarious reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean laugh barrel of laughs dad jokes. There are also laugh puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A baby's laugh is one of the most beautiful things a person can hear...

...unless it's 3 a.m., and you're home alone, and you don't have any kids.

Classic dad joke, but in bad taste

So we were having a family dinner for the first time in a while.
My mum was saying how terrible the situation in Nepal is, when my Dad says "it's nepalling isn't it?"
I had a good laugh, feeling guilty after :(

My brother and I laugh at how Competitive we were as kids.

But I laugh more.

How do rainbows laugh?

Hue hue hue

If I was a serial killer my name would be "The suspense"

So my victims would be like "oh no, the suspense is killing me"

And then we would both laugh right before I kill them.

Laugh joke, If I was a serial killer my name would be "The suspense"

My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are

But I laugh more.

I work in retail, a married man made me laugh

Me: Hi sir, can I help you?
Him: Nah I'm just looking for my wife
Me: Oh sorry, we don't sell wives here
Him: Good! Else you'd get a lot of returns!

They used to laugh when I said I wanted to be a comedian.

Well they're not laughing now!


Children's laughter can be a wonderful thing

Unless its 2AM and you don't have any kids.

I told god a Holocaust joke. He didn't laugh.

after a moment of awkward silence, I said: "Well I guess you should have been there".

What's the difference between jokes and dicks?

My girlfriend doesn't laugh at my jokes.

*edited for spelling: "Mr" instead of "my"*

An Atheist...

Walks up to the Pearly Gates. God says, "I will let you in if you can make me laugh."

The Atheist asks, "who is the greatest Jewish baker of all time? Hitler. He made over 60,000 Jews toast."

God looks at him and says, "A holocaust joke? That is not really funny."

The atheist replied, "Eh, I guess you should have been there."

Okay, I thought this up on the way to work this morning and I'm like 40% sure it's original.

What did one patch of moss say to the other when asked what he thought of the summer weather?

He said: "I'm lichen it so far!"

Now you're allowed to laugh, if you'd like.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Me: Why?
Him: To get to the stupid persons house.
Me: *voluntary laugh as older cousin*
Him: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Him: It's the chicken!

Puns are the only form of humor where a groan is high praise and a laugh is a fair attempt.

Well, that and sex.

Why couldn't the chemist laugh at the queens fart?

Because noble gases are nonreactive.

Everybody laughed at me when I said I was going to be a standup comedian.

They're not laughing now.

I don't always tell Dad jokes...

But I've been saving the best ones for twenty years, and we're going have such a laugh when he comes back with those smokes!

Putin lands at Helsinki airport...

...and the immigration officer says "Name?". "Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin". "Address?" "Kremlin, Moscow, Russia". "Occupation?" "No, this time just visiting".

Credit goes to a dude in the Finland thread. Made me laugh.

My girlfriend found one of my puns so funny that she flew into space and told it to an alien. Unfortunately, the alien didn't laugh.

Personally, I think she took the joke a bit too far.

People use to laugh at me when I said I wanted to be a comedian

Well, no one is laughing now.

FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO LIVE HAPPY LIFE!

1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman, whom you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be in it with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other

How does Mayonnaise Laugh?

LMAYO

I'm sorry

Why is North Korea so heartless?

because they have no seoul

ahahahah.. please laugh

You meet a man on the Oregon trail...

You meet a man on the Oregon trail that tells you his name is Terry. You laugh and tell him that Terry is a girls' name. Without hesitation Terry pulls out a gun and shoots you dead. You have died of dissin Terry.

People laugh at my car because it's ugly and green

At least I avacado

If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.

If you're almost there and then she laughs, that's a different thing.

A baby's laughter can be the most beautiful sound you will ever hear...

Unless it's 3am

And you're home alone

And you don't have a baby...

Good choice.

Me: To make a woman laugh is the second best method to get her to sleep with you.

Her: And what is the best method?

Me: Chloroform.

Her: You are funny!

Me: Good choice.

With Net Neutrality gone I'm finally ready to start my new business- Carrier Pigeons

You may laugh now, but you won't be when my pigeons deliver nudes faster than your service provider

Why do gay people laugh a lot?

Because they can never keep a straight face.

How to find out if you're old or not:

Fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you're young. If they panic, you're old.

They all laughed when I told them that one day I'd discover the secret to invisibility

If only they could see me now

I asked my GF, "Why do abortion jokes made you laugh so much?"

She said, "because they bring out the kid in me."

They laughed at me when I said I will become a comedian

Well, they are not laughing now.

Son: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?



Me: I don't know; how many?

Son: Ten tickles.

Me: Yeah, but only the male octopus is ticklish.

Son: Huh?

Me: Yeah, the females are not ticklish at all; just the males. You know how you can tell if an octopus is a male octopus?

Son: No; how?

Me: Test tickles.

Son: ...

Son: ...that's inappropriate.

So I sent my friend 10 puns hoping that at least one of them would get a laugh out of him.

No pun in ten did.

Joke I heard from a 109 year old Holocaust survivor

A Jew gets to heaven after passing and meets god. The Jew tells god a Holocaust joke, but god doesn't laugh. The Jew shrugs and says, "I guess you had to be there to understand".

The next time your gf gets angry, drape a towel over her shoulders (like a cape) and exlaim:

Now you're SUPER ANGRY

Maybe she'll laugh

Maybe you'll die

My boyfriend and I always laugh about how competitive we are

But I laugh harder

They laughed at me when I said I wanted to become an optician

But they'll see, they'll all see.

When your appendix is removed it's called an appendectomy.

When your uterus is removed it's called a hysterectomy. What's it called when you have a growth removed from your head? A haircut.

I got pulled over and my vape was in my cup holder.

The cop said you know, the news says those things are killing people.

I chuckled and said they're saying the same thing about you guys.

He didn't laugh.

My 2 year old just told me his first joke

My 2 year old is eating an apple and asked me: what does the apple say?

Me: I don't know

2 year old: yummy!

I don't know if this is the right place for it but the pride on his face for making me laugh was the best part of my day!

Easily lose weight by cutting these two things out of your diet:

Breakfast and dinner.

My dad told me this joke please laugh.

The five secrets to happiness (a Man's guide):

1. Find a woman who can make you laugh

2. Find a woman who can cook

3. Find a woman who really listens to you

4. Find a woman who is good in bed

5. Make sure these four women do not find out about each other

Donald Trump was the President of United States

It's not so funny now but your grand children will laugh. This joke is 50 years ahead of its time.

An old man is eating some breakfast at a diner when three bikers walk in.

The first biker puts out his cigarette in the old man's pancakes.

The second biker spits out his tobacco in the old man's coffee.

The third biker takes the entire meal and shoves it off the table.

The old man, without saying so much as a word, gets up, pays the waitress, and exits the diner. The bikers laugh and sit at the old man's table. "Not much of a man, was he?" says one of the bikers.

"Not much of a driver either," says the waitress. "That man just drove his 16-wheeler over three bikes."

Jokes about cocaine do not make me laugh

But a good one liner will make me snort

Teach a man a joke, and he will laugh for a day.

Teach a redditor a joke, and they will repost it for a lifetime.

It's cake and y'all know the rules!

An engineer, a physicist, a mathematician, and a philosopher are at a coffee house.

The physicist says, "You know, engineering is just applied physics," and they all laugh. The mathematician says, "You know, physics is just applied math," and they all laugh again. Then the philosopher says, "Well, you know, math is just applied philosophy," and the engineer says, "Shut up and make our coffee."

It was a sad and disappointing day when I discovered my Universal Remote Control did not, in fact, control the Universe.

Not even remotely.

(I stole this joke from fb and it made my drunk ass laugh out loud so I wanted to share but I'm sorry if it's a repost)

I used to make jokes at work during meetings, and I could really get people laughing. Then COVID hit, and all our meetings were online. I'd still make jokes, but no one would laugh...

Not one. At first, I thought it was just because everyone was muted. It turns out, they didn't find me remotely funny.

No one laughed at my joke I made in school so maybe you guys will like it

What do you call an english teacher who knows how to code

A pro-grammar

Tomorrow I'm having skin grafted from my butt onto my hand and I cope with humor. Make me laugh.

I'm going to have to ask my girlfriend if she wants to try butt stuff just so we can hold hands.

The surgeon's going to hand my ass to me.

If I high five someone did they technically smack my ass?

A farmer has dozens of cows and two bulls, but both bulls are too old to mate anymore.

One day the famer brings a third bull into the field. The new bull is much younger than the other two, and immediately starts mating with cow after cow.

When the old bulls see this, one of them starts huffing, snorting, and scraping the ground with his hoof.

"Don't bother competing with that guy," says the other old bull. "You're too old. He'd laugh at you."

"I'm not trying to compete with him," replies the first old bull. "I just want him to know I'm not a cow."

Laughter

A man walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for a pack of condoms. Paying for them, he bursts into laughter and walks out of the store. The next day, the guy comes in again, buys condoms, and again walks out laughing. Thinking this is somewhat strange, the pharmacist asks his assistant to follow the man if he comes back. Sure enough, the man comes in the next day and walks out laughing. This time the assistant goes after him, returning 20 minutes later. "So did you follow him?" asks the pharmacist. "Sure did," replies the assistant.

"Where did he go?" asks the curious pharmacist. "Your house."

My dad always said

"don't be mad 'cause you're ugly. Be mad 'cause it'll never go away. BUT, if you're gonna be ugly, at least be funny. Because the longer they laugh, the longer they keep their eyes closed."

Everybody laughed when I told them about my Invisibility Serum

If only they could see me now!

Lol

My boss always laughed at my jokes at work but since the pandemic she never laughs at them in Zoom chats. I asked her why doesn't she laugh at them anymore.

She replied, "Because your jokes aren't remotely funny."

What do you call a lotion that sucks at its job?

A DissapOINTMENT. Plz laugh

What makes the worst sex joke?

When the other person fakes the laugh.

How do you know your girlfriend is getting fat?

She starts fitting in your wife's clothes.

(Old joke, I know, just heard it though, made me laugh.)

Why are atoms selfish?

Because they're all that matter!


...Courtesy of my witty wife after my 11 year old asked the "Why should you never trust atoms? - because they make up everything" joke.

I thought surely the joke already existed, but I couldn't find it anywhere. Doesn't entirely work, but it got a laugh out of me!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the laugh laugh at my jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working laugh laugh out loud piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes