Latvian Jokes
65 latvian jokes and hilarious latvian puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about latvian that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover hilarious Latvian jokes revolving around potatoes, Estonians, Bulgarians, Icelanders, and famines. Whether you've visited Latvia or not, get ready to laugh!
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Funniest Latvian Short Jokes
Short latvian jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The latvian humour may include short latvian potato jokes also.
- Latvian Joke. What are one potato say other potato?
Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato? - Latvian man goes to buy iPhone.. Premise ridiculous! iPhone cannot be use to farm potato.
Also, salesman die of malnourish. - Is cakeday. Comment with best Latvian joke. Make laugh. Is good distract from malnourish.
- Latvian potato eating contest. Latvia man enter contest eat potato. Many other contestants. Contest start. Is no potato. All men sad. And hungry.
- Latvian Joke Bus full of priests come to Latvia, spread word of God. One priest ask Latvian man "Where is children?" Latvian man respond "Children is dead from childbirth." Bus leave.
- Latvian Jokes Latvian Olympian win silver medal in skeleton. Wishes silver medal was potato. Still is hungry.
- Latvian Joke One Latvian comes to other Latvian. First say "is that potato? Will buy." Second Latvian say "No, is wife." Both men sad.
- April fools in Latvia Latvian ask friend if he want potato for lunch. Friend guess is April Fool joke. Say "Too easy, never potato in Latvia, only sadness." One man starve to death during lunch.
- You want hear Latvian joke? Okay, I am tell... Why Latvian take so good pictures?
No potato. - Britain's got pretty racist since the referendum; I was behind a Latvian couple in Tesco yesterday and the lady behind the checkout asked if they wanted any help packing...
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Latvian One Liners
Which latvian one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with latvian? I can suggest the ones about potato and spec.
- Lost job and no money for buy potato.
Also is cold.
Regret immigrate to Detroit. - A Latvian Haiku Where is potatoes?
This winter is very cold.
Family is starve. - One Latvian potato talking to another. Is bad premise, nobody in Latvia have two potato.
- A Latvian joke. J: Kāpēc vistas šķērso ceļu?
A: Lai nokļūtu uz otru pusi!
- So a Latvian man went to Idaho Because he died.
- How many Latvian to eat potato? soldier
- Why is Latvian cross road? Latvian see potato, but when cross is only secret police.
- A short joke translated from Latvian Mermaid doing a split
- When Latvians Die....
- How many Latvians does it take to screw a lightbulb? Is dark. Bulb is potato.
- What did the Latvians name their satellite? Spudnik
- An Irishman meets a.... Latvian. No potato. Both die. Is end.
- How many potatoe does it take to kill a Latvian? none
- Latvians don't know Fonz... ...they don't have happy days.
- Latvian girl can count Latvian girl count to potato.
Is valedictorian.
Latvian Potato Jokes
Here is a list of funny latvian potato jokes and even better latvian potato puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Latvian Christmas Christmas Eve father ask son what want christmas. Son say potato. Father say "Ok. Santa bring potato." Next day boy is learn Santa no exist.
- Not all Latvian so unfortunate Lucky man is farmed 3 potato. Soon man has hit by lightning and die. Is true some have all luck, struggle finally over.
- McLatvian Joke Latvian man in country open McDonald's.
But worry for no potato for fries.
Corporate call him telling fries don't potate.
Man is relief but no customers. - I have a Latvian Joke Man has potato, man trade potato for magic bean.
Magic bean grow into tentacles, r**... daughter. - What does a m**... Latvian sound like? One potato two potato three potato splat!
- How do get Latvian man to stop from having s**...? Offer him potato for make stop having s**....
Delightful Fun Latvian Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about latvian you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean yam jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make latvian pranks.
Latvian joke: Questioning: Why did chicken cross road?
Answering: I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers r**... her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.
Collection of my favorite Latvian Jokes.
* Man is hungry. He steal bread to feed family. Get home, find all family have gone Siberia! More bread for me, man think. But bread have worm.
* Man car break down near house of farmer. Take shelter in barn. Find farmer daughter in barn. Oh! Hot stuff! But TOO LATE! Is already r**... by soldier.
* Latvian walk into bar with mule. Bartender say, Why so long face? Latvian say, I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby.
* Three Latvian are brag about sons. My son is soldier. He have r**... as many women as want, say first Latvian. Zo? second say, My son is farmer. He have all potato he want! Third Latvian wait long time, then say, My son is die at birth. For him, struggle is over. Wow! You are win us, say others. But all are feel sad.
* Q : What are one potato say other potato? A : Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato?
* Q : How many Latvian is take screw in light bulb? A : 25. One screw in, 24 ride bicycle generator for 1-hour shift. But time probably better spend search food.
* Q: What is happening if you cross Latvian and potato? A: This is cruel joke. please, no more.
My Favorite Latvian Joke
One day, hear knock on door.
Man ask "Who is?"
"Is potato man. I come around to give free potato."
Man is very excite and opens door.
Is not potato man,
is secret police.
Latvian Joke
Man sits in broken cottage with daughter. Man is cold and hungry. Man not have potato for days.
"Knock, knock" is heard at door.
"Who there is" man say.
"Politburo"
"Politburo who" say man.
Politburo burst in cottage r**... daughter. Man now cold, hungry and sad.
Latvian joke.
I tell Latvian joke:
Latvian man very hungry.
He go in minefield, look for potato feed family.
Many hours, he suddenly find big potato, size of fist!
He quickly pull out pin, put in mouth, s**... whole thing.
Then he say "But why was there pin in potat "
End from joke.
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman... (long joke)
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, an Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a v**... Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ghanaian, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian, 2 Africans and you...
walk into a fine restaurant.
"I'm sorry," says the maître d', after scrutinizing the group, "but you can't come in here without a Thai."
Latvian man dies of hunger.
He sees St Peter at Pearly Gate. St Peter give him bread and say, "Struggle over now". Man cry from happy. But, look again! St Peter is really devil, and bread have worm. Struggle continues.
Latvian Dreamin'
Little boy go to father. Is midnight. Say boy, "Father! I dream I is Mr. Potato! Have big eyes and smile! Even having shoes! I wish I Mr. Potato for all ever!"
Man woke in midnight all sudden. Rubs eyes. Remembers boy dead by mule, and is no potato. Only cold. Is all dream. Lay back on dirt. No smiles. No shoes.
The man of Latvian walk street when...
...see the police cab is drive backward.
Man make questioning of police, "why drive the backward?" Officer of Policing respond, "Road narrow. We try to turning around!" Man thinking this is fine; keeping of walk.
Much time in future, man see same polices drive backwards, in opposite direction. Askings, "why the driving in opposite way?" Polices: "We turned around!"
I translated a classic Latvian joke for you guys!
A kid is standing on a bridge and crying. A man who is walking by asks him: what happened?
He replies: John threw my slice of bread into the river.
The man asks: was it on purpose?
Boy replies: no, with a sausage.
(it's funny, because it's not funny)
Latvia in WW2
Latvian man sent to front in Great Patriotic War. No potato, much shooting. Is captured by Germans. Germans send to POW camp. Get own potato as prisoner! But Soviets liberate camp, take all potato. Man dies in Siberia.
Russian knock-knock jokes (A Latvian Joke Tribute Song)
In light of recent political tensions, my girlfriend's dad and I sat down and tried to come up with some Russian knock-knock jokes.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Potato.
Potato who?
Just kidding, is secret police.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ukraine
Ukraine who?
Ukraine your neck left, see secret police.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Putin.
Putin who?
Putin your family is Gulag for asking so many question.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Secret police.
Secret police who?
If I told you, wouldn't be secret.
Tank
A joke I translated from Latvian.
Man walks into a tattoo saloon, walks up to the artist says 'I want a big tattoo of a tank all across my back'. 'Say no more' says the artist and starts tattooing. 30 minutes pass. Artist gets up..'all done sir'. 'That was quick! ' says the man. Artist looks at him and goes 'it's okay, it's only 4 letters'
Apparently it's no longer politically correct to direct a joke at any racial or ethic minority, so...
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Gurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, two Kiwis, a German, an American, a South African, a Cypriot, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, a Dane, a Romani, a Bulgarian, a Swiss, a Greek, a Bulgarian, a Singaporean, a Norwegian, a Libyan, a Hindu, a Muslim, a Monk, an Italian, a Serb, a Russian and an Ethiopian went to a bar.
The bouncer said, "I'm sorry, you can't come in here without a Thai"
Two Latvian men are talking to each other...
Two Latvian men are talking to each other.
The first says "I have joke for you. What did one potato say to other?"
The second says "Nothing. Nobody have two potato."
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman,
a Latvian, a Chinese, a Japanese,
a Kiwi, a Canuck, an Eskimo,
a Fijian, a Turk, an Aussie,
a y**..., an Egyptian, a Spaniard,
a Mongolian, a Tibetan, a p**...,
a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard,
a Greek, a Russian, an Estonian,
a German, an Indian, an Italian,
a Brazilian, a Kenyan, a South African,
a Filipino, a Pakistani, a Korean,
a Argentinian, a Lithuanian, a Dane,
a Finn, a Swede, an Israeli,
a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb,
a Czech, and a Swiss man go to a pub..............
The bouncer says, "Sorry. I can't let you in without a Thai."
Is joke from Latvia. I tell now.
Latvian try to cross river. Has dog, potatoes, and dead son's body. Can only take two across river at one time. If he leave dog with potatoes or corpse, dog eat them. Is very sad. Also is not good boat.
Old Mr. Blaustein goes to a restaurant..
he eats an expensive meal, drinks the best wine on the list and when it comes to paying the bill he leaves only 5 dollar tip.
The waiter keeps his face but can't help himself uttering "Yesterday your son ate here and he left 50 dollar tip!"
"Of course", says the old Blaustein, "he is the son of an american millionaire, but I am the son of a latvian truck driver"
A Canadian, a Swiss, a German, a Mexican, a American, a Korean, a Austrian, a Brazilian, a Estonian, a Filipino, a British, a Egyptian, a Icelander, a Jamaican, a South African, a Puerto Rican, a Chinese, a Latvian, a Moroccan, a Taiwanese, a Spaniard, and a romanian walk into a fancy restaurant.
The waiter stops them and says Sorry, you can't come in here without a Thai.
Tried translating a joke from Latvian.
John, a rural farmer, decided to visit the zoo in the capital with his family. He has a lot of fun, and comes back ecstatic. His neighbor
Tolya asks him what he saw there.
"Well, I saw a giraffe."
"What's a giraffe?"
"Well, you know horses?"
"Yeah."
"It's like a horse, but really tall and with a long neck."
"Okay, what else?"
"Zebra."
"Zebra?"
"Well, you know horses?"
"Yeah."
"It's like a horse, but with stripes."
"Okay, what else then?"
"I saw a hippo. "
"What's that?"
"You know horses?"
"Yeah?"
"Like a horse, but big and fat."
"Hm. Okay. Anything else?"
"Yes... a crocodile."
"What's a crocodile?"
"You know horses?"
"Yeah?"
"Nothing like one."
