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Latin Jokes

110 latin jokes and hilarious latin puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about latin that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Grammar jokes about ancient roman or bad cheesy latin language. Asterix latin jokes along with knock knock rude latin jokes and memes.

Funniest Latin Short Jokes

Short latin jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The latin humour may include short grammar jokes also.

  1. What do the Zika Virus and Catholic Priests have in common? They're both giving kids a little head all over Latin America.
  2. Can somebody help me translate 'orbis terrarum ad mihi' from Latin? It would mean the world to me.
  3. Polyamory is wrong! You can't mix Greek and Latin roots.
    It's either Multiamory or Polyphilia.
  4. 50% of being a lawyer is the ability to use latin phrases that people don't understand the other 50% is *ad hoc ergo propter hoc*
  5. UK: We call it "Autumn", from the French word "Automne", and later, from the Latin "autumnus". USA: WE CALL IT FALL BECAUSE LEAVES FALL DOWN
  6. What's the difference between a Yankee zoo and a Southern zoo? The Yankee zoo will have the name of the animal and its Latin name. The Southern zoo will have the name of the animal and a recipe.
  7. I'm not saying that I'm a bad driver... But when I drive, my sat nav doesn't speak, it prays in Latin.
  8. ḱley (Proto-Indo-European)-> κλίμα, κλίνω (Greek)-> clima (Latin)-> climat (French)-> climate Climate change is man-made.
  9. If you play a Coldplay song backwards, you'll hear a lot of creepy, Satanic chanting in Latin But if you play a coldplay song the normal way, you'll hear something much worse. A Coldplay song.
  10. For all those people that didn't know that some Latin American countries don't primarily speak Spanish... You better Belize it.

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Latin One Liners

Which latin one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with latin? I can suggest the ones about language and linguistics.

  1. I came, I saw, I died or as we say in Latin:
    Veni, Vidi, Avicii.
  2. The professor gave me a C on my Latin exam... Aced it!
  3. I hate the misuse of Latin phrases... ...and vice versa.
  4. How do you say 'direction' in pig Latin? Hope you had a good one!
  5. What do zombies speak? Latin...Its a dead language
  6. What Language Do Trees Speak? Latin, because of all their roots.
  7. My friend said he was into Latin I said me too. Guess we have a Latin common.
  8. Mal... Is the Latin root of all evil
  9. What language did ancient Roman police speak? Pig Latin
  10. I get confused with these Latin phrases. Is it carpe tunnel or per diem?
  11. What do you call a Brazilian on a magic carpet? A latin.
  12. Polyamory is wrong. Obviously you shouldn't just mix Greek and Latin roots like that
  13. I love using Latin phrases in English And vice versa
  14. Hey, Latin isn't dead It's just Roman around
  15. What kind of music does an inspired Latin fish listen to? Carp E.D.M.

Latin Language Jokes

Here is a list of funny latin language jokes and even better latin language puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • English is the lingua franca of the internet, science, aeronautics, and of using Late Latin phrases concerning an extinct pre-French language to mean "universally spoken".
  • Why should you always write love notes in Latin? It's a Romance language
  • What's a Roman law enforcement officers favorite language? Pig Latin
  • How do you communicate with dead people? With Latin ^^because ^^it's ^^a ^^dead ^^language ^^^^^Sorry
  • Latin insulted Chuck Norris.
    It is now a dead language.
  • What language do cops speak? Pig-Latin
  • Do you know why latin is a dead language? They kept summoning demons in random conversations.
  • I don't understand why French is considered the language of love... Have you heard Latin?
    It's so obviously **roman**tic.

Latin Word Jokes

Here is a list of funny latin word jokes and even better latin word puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Teacher: Do you know the latin word for earth? Kids: No tell-us!
  • What is the Latin word for Hipster? *Pretentious Pretentious*
  • A Latin student asks his teacher a question. The student asks, "What's the Latin word for 'he wears'?"
    The teacher shrugs and says, "Gessit."
  • Explaining Words
    Poli.....Latin for "many"
    Tics....blood s**... insect

    Politics
  • A blond is asked the definition of Politics. She says "Simple! It comes from two words. The first, poly- which is Latin for many. And ticks, which are blood s**... bugs."
Latin joke, A blond is asked the definition of Politics.

Latin Phrases Jokes

Here is a list of funny latin phrases jokes and even better latin phrases puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • People who act all intellectually superior by ending their thoughts with a Latin phrase—- usually have no idea what they are doing. Et al.

Latin America Jokes

Here is a list of funny latin america jokes and even better latin america puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's the fastest spice in Latin America? Coriander
  • What does Jesus go by in Latin America?
  • Why is studying medicine easier for people from Latin America? Because they speak Latin bruh
Latin joke, Why is studying medicine easier for people from Latin America?

Comedy Latin Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle

What funny jokes about latin you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean roman jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make latin pranks.

A Latino gang member has received poor customer service at the railway station, so he vandalised one of the train engines in revenge.

It was a loco motive.

What did the Latino say when two houses fell on him?

..get off me homes.

Why does an octopus have 8 tentacles instead of 6?

Because even god thinks "Sextapus" sounds ridiculous.

A latin joke

Titus: Markus, legistis pleiades?
Markus: pleiades quest
Titus: pleiades t**... in ore tuo.

Q: In latin, when pairing foods with the verb **edo** (I eat), what case should you use?

A: The om-nom-nominative.

I asked a h**... to talk dirty to me in Latin.

She declined.

Why did the Latino girl come to class pregnant?

Her teacher told her to do an essay.

What is a Latino gang member's favorite type of exam?

Essay

We call our new maid Non Sequitur,

...because she's Latin and she doesn't follow.

How many Latinos does it take to do a wax job?

A Brazillion!

TIL Chicago is the #1 supporter of Latin women.

They always yell: Go Chica! Go!

What did the Latin guy say after he had s**...?

Veni. Veni. Veni.

How do Latino singers warm up?

Do Re Mi Fa Sol La t**... No

What do you call someone who has never translated Latin?

a Virgil

Why did the Latino Eminem fail in the music business?

Because he had no compaDREs.

New US dollar announced today...

They've decided to change the motto. After much pressure from atheist groups, they're removing 'In God We Trust' and going back to Latin. However, 'E Pluribus Unum' sounds too foreign and reeks of socialism, so they're going with a more simple and straightforward 'Carpe v**...'.
The runner up was 'Oh God It's Trump'

Why do many latinos major in english?

Because of all essays

With all the division in this country, I wanted to reach out...

...and tell my Latin friends "Feliz ano nuevo!"

A Latino shot an unarmed black man today, and everyone is in an uproar

Especially the police, saying "They took our jobs!"

My Latin/Greek teacher always gets the English and Greek 'U' mixed up

oopsilon

Why did the latino move away from an island full of women?

Too many beaches.

A latino goes to buy soda for 75 cents, he puts in 65

The machine reads "dime" so he gets closer and whispers "quiero Pepsi".

A latino goes to a vending machine

He gets a soda for 75c. He puts in 65c. The machine says "dime", so he whispers quiero una pepsi porfavor

How many Latinos does it take to change a light bulb?

A Brazilian.

What do latino supremacists join?

The Que Que Que.

What do you say to a Latina with three eyes?

Ay-ay-ay!

What did the Latino name his 2 d**...?

Jose and Hose B

A friend of mine did not know the difference between Latin and Pig Latin

He just thought Pig Latin was what fat Italians spoke.
(This is actually a true story.)

Why are latina women so much fun in bed?

Because doing something that's i**... is always way more fun.

What do you call the latin children of german officers?

The esse esse

Why can't Latinos play Uno?

They take all the greencards.

I'm a Latino nurse and while I was doing my rounds, one of the surgeons burst out of the operating room and told me to help finish the operation.

I cut the patient's o**... on the wrong spot but luckily I miscalculated and saved their life. No one thought I could do it and I shocked them all. Nobody expected the Spanish missed the incision.

An etymologist, an entomologist, and an etiologist walk into a bar.

"What'll it be?" The bartender asks.
"I'll have a beer," the etymologist says. "A word which comes from Latin *bibere*, meaning "to drink".
"I'll have an Americano," the entomologist says. "It was originally dyed with crushed beetles!"
The bartender gets them their drinks. "And for you, sir?" he asks the third man.
"I'm just wondering how I got here," the etiologist replies.

What do you call a Latin popstar with big n**...?

a**... Grande

So whats the deal with latin music artists and their obsession with those little automated vacuum cleaners?

RUMBA!

I met a g**... the train...

As we were talking she told me her name was Liv. I asked:"What a lovely name. Where does it come from?". She replied:"It's latin meaning fifty four."

I am a Latino pansexual with no regrets

Hot dog buns work ok, baguettes are good when they are hollowed out, and donuts were probably made for it.
So I don't know why my friend always is saying that I'm doing it wrong

I wasted my life

I fear I've wasted my life. I spent years and years learning Latin, Spanish, Mandarin, and Swahili but it turns out I just misheard my uncle when I though he told me "girls love a cunning linguist".

An elderly classical languages professor goes to Rome for a conference.

He hails a taxi as he leaves the airport, and the driver points to a sign saying "Tell driver your destination". The professor hesitates for a moment. He doesn't speak Italian, but doesn't want the driver to misunderstand his directions in English. Suddenly realizing that Italian is descended from Latin he says, "Adducere me ad Marriott deversorium"
The cab driver nods and puts the car in gear. As he into traffic he says, "Wow, you sure haven't been to Rome for a long time."

So I learned some interesting things today

I get a kick out of words and word histories, so reading up I learned the word "CENTURION" came from the old Latin word for one hundred, because they were an officer in charge of one hundred soldiers. I also learned that the term "DECIMATE" comes from a collective punishment centurions would mete out, where one out of every ten men would be executed. It seemed like there was definitely some kind of joke or word play I could make out of that, but I couldn't find any.
There was no pun in ten dead.

A british Jew is waiting in line to be knighted by the Queen.

He is to kneel in front of her and recite a sentence in Latin when she taps him on the shoulders with her sword. However, when his turn comes, he panics in the excitement of the moment and forgets the Latin. Then, thinking fast, he recites the only other sentence he knows in a foreign language, which he remembers from the Passover seder:
"Ma nishtanah halailah hazeh mikol haleilot."
Puzzled, Her Majesty turns to her advisor and whispers, "Why is this knight different from all other knights?"

How did the Latino kill 50 people at the same time?

I don't know. He must have had a locomotive.

Why is Oedipus bad at Latin?

He conjugated where he should have declined.
>!Latin verbs have conjugations and latin nouns have declinsions.!<

How many Latinos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Usually Juan

What do you call a Latino who lost his car?

Carlos

A British Jew is to be knighted by the King.

He is to kneel in front of him and recite a sentence in Latin when he taps him on the shoulders with his sword. However, when his turn comes, he panics in the excitement of the moment and forgets the Latin. Then, thinking fast, he recites the only other sentence he knows in a foreign language, which he remembers from the Passover seder:
"Ma nishtanah halailah hazeh mikol haleilot."
Puzzled, His Majesty turns to his advisor and whispers, "Why is this knight different from all other knights?"

Latin joke, A British Jew is to be knighted by the King.

jokes about latin