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Latex Jokes

24 latex jokes and hilarious latex puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about latex that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Latex Short Jokes

Short latex jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The latex humour may include short tails jokes also.

  1. Can't afford condoms? Use latex gloves instead. They're cheaper, and you can use them five times.
  2. What do you call it when someone despises people from both louisiana AND Texas? Being allergic to latex
  3. I saw the expiration date on my condoms They say it takes thousands of years for latex to degrade, but apparently it's been longer than that since I've gotten laid
  4. my japanese friend keeps calling latex gloves pentadick condoms i guess the radiation is getting to his head too
  5. Did you hear about the awful proctologist who doesn't use latex gloves? He uses latex mittens.
  6. What separates a s**... active adult male from a 10 year old? A half a millimetre of latex.
  7. Did you hear how latex gloves were invented? c**... companies realized they could increase production 10x if they used their hands instead.
  8. The average shelf life of a latex c**... is three to five years. Blimey, I thought MY erectile dysfunction was bad.
  9. TIFU by mistakenly fornicating with a man at a b**... meetup who was wearing the same latex bodysuit as my wife

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Latex One Liners

Which latex one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with latex? I can suggest the ones about slug and lion.

  1. I didn't say my ex-wife died, I said I have a latex wife.
  2. I have a reverse latex allergy. When I get a swelling I use latex.
  3. What do you call a woman with a latex allergy? Mom.
  4. You better wear the latex Or she'll get the paychecks!
  5. What is the universal f**... for scientists? LaTeX...
  6. For me, b**... was life-changing... Turns out I have a major latex allergy
  7. Scientific publishing is like s**... You should always use Latex.
  8. I found out I was can't wear latex condoms They give me an allergic e**...

Latex joke, I found out I was can't wear latex condoms

Cheerful Fun Latex Jokes for Lovely Laughter

What funny jokes about latex you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean lettuce jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make latex pranks.

A man walks into a pharmacy to buy condoms.

He approaches the desk and says to the pharmacist "excuse me, do you have non latex? I need condoms for my 12 year old daughter but she's allergic to latex"
The pharmacist replies "yeah they should be right over.... wait.. did you say 12 year old daughter? .. your 12 year old daughter is s**... active?"
The man says "eh, not really. She just kind of lays there like her mother."

A group of elderly folks were watching television at the retirement home...

They were enjoying their show until it was time for a commercial break. Having nothing else to do, they stayed sitting and watched the commercials. Suddenly, one advertisement displayed attractive men and women in rubber bodysuits, latex clothing, and b**...-looking outfits. The elderly were aghast.
No one expected the Spandex intermission.

A man is in an emergency room complaining of severe stomach pains and bowel trouble. The physician says that the patient will need a r**... exam.

The doctor positions the patient on the bed on his side and puts on a latex glove.
As he lubes up his glove, he says, "Don't get excited and move too much like last time, Peter"
The patient says, "My name isn't Peter"
The doctor says, "Mine is"

My grandpa isn't very computer savvy

So my Grandpa (72) got on the internet only recently and is still very unsure about how to use it. A month or so ago I taught him how to use email, to his amazement.
I also showed him how web browsing works and showed him how to put questions into Google search.
Yesterday he was planning to repaint the shed and wanted to know if latex paint would stick to stucco, so he did a search for Latex b**....

Latex joke, my japanese friend keeps calling latex gloves pentadick condoms