Last Day Of School Jokes

31 last day of school jokes and hilarious last day of school puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about last day of school that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Last Day Of School Short Jokes

Short last day of school jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The last day of school humour may include short last day of work jokes also.

  1. While gaming last night, I was called a loser due to still having my default skin But when I showed up to school, the next day, wearing a new skin, I'm a psychopath.
  2. At my school, the cafeteria has "World Cuisine" day once a week, in which one foreign nation's traditional cuisine is on the menu. Last week, the country was Ethiopia... ...they served us nothing.
  3. The day I can't do my job drunk is the day I hand over my keys today was my last day as a school bus driver
  4. The music teacher at the school my niece goes to was out sick 2 days last week. The school had a dog fill in for her. He was a sub woofer.
  5. Dad on the last day of school: So, where's your school report, my boy?
    Tom: Sorry, I'll bring it a day later.
    Dad: Why?
    Tom: I borrowed it to Kevin because he wanted to scare his parents.
  6. A boy walks into a library.... and asks if he can borrow *"It's the Last Day of School. Forever"*. Looking shocked and surprised, the librarian says, "No dear, you've got to bring it back next week."

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Last Day Of School One Liners

Which last day of school one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with last day of school? I can suggest the ones about end of school and first day of school.

  1. What did Eric say to his classmates on the last day of school? "Do you believe in God?"

Hilarious Fun Last Day Of School Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about last day of school you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean last day at work jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make last day of school pranks.

In an elementary school English class, kids are learning the word contagious . Teacher calls on students, asking them to use it in a sentence.

- Susan?
- I had a flu and mommy made me stay home for 3 days because I was contagious!
- Very good. What about you, Johnny?
- Our neighbor Mrs. Henderson has started painting her fence last night, daddy says it's gonna take the contagious!

Lipstick Girls

A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use lipstick. When applying it in the bathroom they would then press their lips to the mirror and leave lip prints.
Before it got out of hand he thought of a way to stop it. He gathered all the girls together that wore lipstick and told them he wanted to meet with them in the ladies room at 2pm. They gathered at 2pm and found the principal and the school custodian waiting for them.
The principal explained that it was becoming a problem for the custodian to clean the mirror every night. He said he felt the ladies did not fully understand just how much of a problem it was and he wanted them to witness just how hard it was to clean.
The custodian then demonstrated. He took a long brush on a handle out of a box. He then dipped the brush in the nearest toilet, moved to the mirror and proceeded to remove the lipstick.
That was the last day the girls pressed their lips on the mirror.

Little Jewish boy that can't understand math

Two Jewish parents are very concerned that their little boy is failing at mathematics. They exhaust every method of tutoring and schooling, until they reach their last resort.... Catholic School.
The very next day little Elisha comes home from school, runs to his room, and began studying. To the parents astonishment when his reportcard arrives he has an A in math!!
They asked Elisha what the difference was and he replied," When I saw what they did to the poor guy on the plus sign I knew they were serious!!"

School days...

Teacher: If income tax is 20% and your dad earns $50,000, how much tax does he pay?
Kid: $100
Teacher: Let's try again. If income tax is 30% and your dad earns $100000, how much does he pay?
Kid: $100
Teacher: Alright, last try. If income tax is %50 and your dad earns $1000000, how much does he pay?
Kid: $100
Teacher: you don't know your percentages.
Kid: you don't know my dad.

I went to my school reunion last weekend and the main topic of conversation was still about the stunning substitute teacher…

…we had one day, in the early eighties, who gave a boy a b**... in front of the entire class.
She went down in history.

A farmer who knows a little bit of english wants his son to study at an english school.

One day he takes his son to a local english school for admission. A teacher gives him a form to fill in.He goes on filling the form and despite his bad english he manages to fill all the informations correctly. The last thing asked was to provide his son's
mother tongue. He fills with confidence "very long".

Resurrection day

Children at Sunday school were asked what resurrection meant. One boy replied, "I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts for more than 4 hours you should call a doctor." Happy Easter!

I don't want to go to school

"Dad, I don't want to go to school
today." said the boy.
"Why not, son?"
\-"Well, one of the chickens on the
school farm died last week and we had
chicken soup for lunch the next day.
Then three days ago one of the pigs
died and we had roast pork the
next day"
"But why don't you want
to go today"
"Because our English
teacher died yesterday!"

Last Dad Joke of the day for me

Two boys are walking home from Sunday School after hearing some strong preaching about the devil.
One says to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff"?
The other says "Well you know how Santa turned out to be, it's probably just your Dad".

I visited the Middle East last year...

And I had to spend a whole school year there. It was weird because their schools are unable to have drivers education and s**... education on the same day.
Too hard for the camels.

In the old Russia, bevore USSR a small child comes home from the last day of school

and holding his grade sheet yells to his revolutionary father "Father! You know how you always say how bad our schooling system is? Now I have proof of it!"

Might be their last one...

At school one day the teacher said to one of her students "So Johnny, I hear your mom is pregnant."
"Yep," said Johnny, "And I know what they are going to name it."
"Really," said the teacher, "what are they going to name it?"
"Well," he said, "If it's a girl, they are going to name it Charlene, and if it's a boy like me they are going to call it Quits."

Greeting the new student

So a new student named Dillon walks into class for his very first day of school. All the other children were talking to their friends, while he had none to talk to. But, one of the kids walked up to him and began the conversation-
Child: "Hi, im Nick, whats your name?"
Dillon: "My names Dillon"
Nick: "Thats a cool name, Mind if I call you Dill for short?"
Dillon: "I wouldnt advise doing that"
Nick: "Why so?"
Dillon: "Because my last name is Do"

"Dad, I don't want to go to school today.

" said the boy.
"Why not, son?"
"Well, one of the chickens on the school farm died last week and we had chicken soup for lunch the next day. Then three days ago one of the pigs died and we had roast pork the next day."
"But why don't you want to go today?"
"Because our English teacher died yesterday!"

One day, a young boy was asked by his teacher to tell him what the chemical formula for water was.

The boy replied with "H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O".
The Teacher was stunned. "That's not right, how did you come up with that?"
The boy said, "Last week you said it was H2O!"

"I just light a candle to make an earthquake stop"

One day on a school in the rurals, the teacher asked her young students what to do during an earthquake.
One student raised her hand and says, be calm,
Another says, go under the desk and put your hand over your head,
The last one said, I just light the candle to make an earthquake stop.
This got the teacher obviously confused and asked how and why.
To which the student replied, there was this one night the house was shaking and I got scared so I immediately lit the candle to see what's going on, but then it stopped shaking..

There is only one mother

Kids in school were told to write a short essay with the phrase "There is only one mother". The next day in class the Timmy reads "There is only one mother and she takes care of me when I'm sick", next Sarah reads "There is only one mother and she prepares meals for the whole family, does the laundry and tucks me into bed at night." Finally little Jimmy reads "So my parents had a party last weekend, half of the guests are lying in their own p**... but the other half is still standing and we run out of booze so mother tells me to go fetch two bottle of v**... from the fridge. I open the fridge and yell <>".

Little Johnny

At school one day, Little Johnny's teacher asks the class to use the word contagious in a sentence…
Cindy raises her hand. Yes, Cindy? She answers, I was at the dentist's office with my mom, and she said not to play with the toys in the waiting room because the other kids were contagious.
Very good, Cindy! the teacher said, Anyone else want to try? Samantha raises her hand. Yes, Samantha? She answers, My dad tells me not to yawn because then everybody else yawns. He says yawning is contagious.
Excellent work, Samantha! Very creative, the teacher praises. Okay, one more volunteer. Little Johnny raises his hand. Yes, Johnny?
Well, he says, I was helping my dad in the yard last week, and we saw the neighbor painting his house. He was using a small brush, so I asked my dad, 'Daddy, why is he using such a small brush?' and he says, 'I don't know son, but it's gonna take that contagious.'

A little Jewish boy in Catholic school

There was once a little Jewish boy who for the life of him was terrible at math. His parents had tried everything and nothing seemed to be working, so as their last resort they decided to send him to the local Catholic school because it had the best math program in the area.
The first day, and every day after, the little boy came home and went straight upstairs and did all his homework. When they finally received his report card he had straight A's. They were baffled an very curious about what the school did that worked so well, so they asked him "Son, what did this school do differently that helped you learn so well"
the son replied "Well, "On that first day, when I walked in the front door and saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I KNEW they meant business!"

Me and my buddies go-to joke.

A high school senior is in a rush to get everything he needs ready for his high school prom the next day. First thing he needs to get is a tuxedo. He goes to the tux shop and there's a huge line. So he waits in the line, gets his tux, and goes on his way. The next thing he needs are flowers for his date. He gets to the flower shop, and again, there's a huge line. He waits in the line, gets his flowers, and goes on his way. The last thing he needs is his limo to take his date to prom in. He goes to the limo rental center, and once again, there's an enormous line. He waits in the line, rents his limo for the next day, and finally goes home. The next day he shows up to his dates house, tux on, flowers in hand, riding in a fancy limo. His date and him get to the prom, and start dancing. After a while he starts to get really thirsty. He asks his date, "Hey do you want something to drink?" She replies, "Oh sure, could you grab me some punch?" The guy leaves his date to get her some punch, and sure enough, there's no punch line.

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette..

are having their usual lunch of PB&J sandwiches in their high school cafeteria one day, when the blonde speaks up "I can't stand it, every day for the last year our mothers only make PB&J and I'm sick of it!"
The other two girls agree they are tired of the same lunch, so the blonde comes up with the idea that if tomorrow they receive the same lunch, they'll jump off the school.
The next day, the girls meet up on the school's roof, and one by one open their lunchboxes to PB&J again. They jump off and all die from the fall.
Later at the f**... the brunette's and redhead's mothers are crying together; lamenting over their stubbornness and not giving their daughters different lunches. They notice that the blonde's mother is quiet and distant, so they ask how she's feeling and why she looks so confused. "I'm upset of course, but don't understand" she replied. "You see, she always makes her own lunch"

I Like The Way You Think

One day in school the teacher asks little Johnny,
"If there were five birds on the tree and you shoot two birds with your gun then how many would be left?"
"None because they would all fly away.", replies little Johnny.
"That is incorrect.", says the teacher, "there would be three left, but I like the way you think."
Then little Johnny asks the teacher,
"If there were three women on the bench with an ice cream cone, one bitting on the cone, the other s**... the cone, and the last one l**... her cone, which one is married?"
"The one s**... on the cone," guessed the teacher.
"That is incorrect," replies little Johnny," The one with the wedding ring on her finger is married, but I like the way you think."

Superman grandpa

On the first day of school the teacher asks the children to go home and ask for a family history story that has a morale in it. So one child comes to school the next day and tells the teacher this: you see, my grandpa was a bomber pilot. His plane was shot and he had to bail out. On his body was an empty bottle of whiskey, a knife and a gun. When he landed there were 20 enemy guards waiting for him. He killed fifteen men with the gun. Until it ran out of bullets. Killed 3 guys with his knife until the blade broke off, then killed the last 2 with his bare hands. Then the teacher reply's that was a very violent story and what was the morale?
Stay away from grandpa when he's drunk.