Laser Jokes

Funniest Laser Short Jokes

Short laser jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The laser humour may include short ultrasound jokes also.

1. I got banned from laser tag today.... I guess they didn't like it when i used a knife to save ammo.
2. There are hundreds of features on a brand-new BMW; heated seats, bluetooth audio, laser-headlights, etc... Which among them goes completely ignored? The turn signals.
3. What do children and tattoos have in common? Both are pretty permanent, but can be removed with lasers.
4. My cat freaked out when I told him he was adopted. Granted, I spelled it out on the floor with a laser pointer.
5. In my spare time I'm helping blind children. This is a lot of fun, especially since I got my new 3W blue laser pointer.
6. Got laser eye surgery last month Still can't fire lasers out of my eyes. Am I doing it wrong? Should I get a refund?
7. So now I'm banned from going to the laser tag fun center They said I'm not allowed to use melee attacks
8. Finally got round to booking my laser eye surgery for the 1st January Can't wait to have 2020 vision.
9. I was worried if my laser eye surgeon was going to be any good. But I can't see any problem now.
10. Where do the boats go when they're sick? The doc.
    (I worked at a laser tag arena for 6 years and have been relayed dad jokes by offspring a many a times, this one was 4 years old)

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Laser One Liners

Which laser one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with laser? I can suggest the ones about radar and razor.

1. I got banned from laser tag today. Apparently they frown on using a knife to save ammo.
2. Why don't cats make good burglars? They can't get past the laser defenses
3. What do you get when you cross a church with a laser tag arena? Pew! Pew! Pew!
4. A laser and a microwave got into an argument I heard it got pretty heated.
5. What sounds do TIE Fighter lasers make? P2W! P2W!
6. Scientists created the first white laser. They were fired for racism and hate speech.
7. Finally getting laser eye surgery next month Very excited to have laser eyes.
8. Why did the cat cross the road? The chicken had a laser pointer
9. Who's gonna win the Euro 2020 finale? Depends on how many lasers the crowd brings
10. Hello, Tech Support? How do I set a laser printer to stun?
11. Cats and girls A cat chasing lasers is like me chasing girls.
    I never get em.
12. Opening a laser eye clinic. Going to name it CircumVision... SEE what I did there?
13. The guns in Star Trek didnt actually shoot lasers... They were faux-ton guns.
14. I wanted to get rid of my body hair through laser hair removal But it grew on me
15. Whenever I'm in church I always think of laser blasters Pew! Pew! Pew!

Laser Eye Surgery Jokes

Here is a list of funny laser eye surgery jokes and even better laser eye surgery puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I just got laser eye surgery and I can't help but feel cheated Because I still can't see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch
• If Superman was a doctor, what would he specialize in? Laser eye surgery.
• What do the latest Iphone 6 applications do?
  Whiten teeth and perform laser eye surgery!
• Why did Xmen's Cyclops go to the doctors? Because he needed laser eye surgery!

Laser Pointer Jokes

Here is a list of funny laser pointer jokes and even better laser pointer puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• A police man stopped a man with a laser pointer. Policeman: Sir, what's the power on that laser you have there?
  Man: 75.
  Policeman: 75 what?
  Man: Yep.
• Someone used a cane to point out stuff instead of a laser pointer during a presentation today. He asked for feedback on his presentation.
  
  I said it was fantastick
• My 3 watts blue laser pointer finally arrived and I played with it over the weekend. I can no longer see why people say these devices were so dangerous.

Laser Gun Jokes

Here is a list of funny laser gun jokes and even better laser gun puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Where does a laser gun sit in church? On a pew pew
• Why is a laser gun Vladimir Putin's weapon of choice? Lasers are always straight.

Laser Hair Removal Jokes

Here is a list of funny laser hair removal jokes and even better laser hair removal puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I recently got laser hair removal on my groin... It was a combo hair removal and health foods facility. I left with Brazilian nuts.
• What is laser hair? And why do I need it removed?

Giggle-Inducing Laser Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends

What funny jokes about laser you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean x ray jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make laser pranks.