Lars Jokes

9 lars jokes and hilarious lars puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lars that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Unearthly Funniest Lars Jokes to Tickle Your Sides

What is a good lars joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

If Lars Ulrich of Metallica provided religious support to kermit and his friends

He'd be a pastor of muppets

Did you hear about the time that Lars Ulrich played a minister on Sesame Street?

He was the Pastor of Muppets.

Ole came home from a long business trip to find his son riding a new 21 speed mountain bike.

"Vere did you get da money for da bike? Dat musta cost $500," he asked.
"It was easy, Dad," little Lars replied. "I earned it hiking."
"Come on Lars," Ole said. "Tell me da truth."
"Dat is da truth Dad!" Lars replied.
"Every night you ver gone, Sven, would come over to see Mom. He'd give me a $10 bill and tell me ta take a hike.

Ole and Lars went skydiving

Ole jumped out of the plane and pulled his ripcord. His parachute opened, and he started his gentle descent.
Lars jumped out of the plane and pulled his ripcord. Nothing happened. He pulled his emergency cord. Nothing happened.
Ole watched Lars plummet past him, and started undoing his harness.
"So you wanna race, huh?"

Lars, from Holland, and Maria, a Filipino, got married...

...and had three little Hollapiños

Wes Anderson is also known as

Lars von Geometrier

I'm guessing that the Banksy painting was from Lars Ulrich's collection.

Seeing as how it was Hardwired to Self-Destruct.

This guy is walking through Chinatown and sees a building with a sign that says "Lars Olafsen's Laundry."

"Lars Olafsen?", he thinks. "How in the world does that fit in here?"
So, he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman sitting in the corner. The visitor asks, "How in the world did this place get a name like Lars Olafsen's Laundry?"
The old man answers "Is name of owner."
The visitor asks, "Well, who is the owner?"
"I am he," answers the old man.
"You? How did you ever get a name like Lars Olafsen?"
The old man replies:
"Many years ago when I come to this country, I was standing in line at Documentation Center. Man in front of me was big blond Norwegian. Lady look at him and go, 'What your name?' He say, 'Lars Olafsen.' She look at me and say, 'What your name?' I say, 'Sam Ting.'

21st Birthdays

A boy from Duluth, Minnesota named Lars had heard stories of an amazing family tradition. It seem that his father, grandfather and great grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 21st birthdays, to the boat club across the lake for their first legal drink.
So when Lars' 21st came around, he and his pal Sven took a boat out to the middle of the lake. Lars stepped out of the boat and nearly drowned. Sven managed to pull him to safety.
Furious and confused, Lars went to see his grandmother. "Grandma," he asked, "it's my 21st birthday, so why can't I walk across the lake like my father, his father, and his father before him?"
Granny looked into Lars' eyes and said, "Because your father, grandfather and great-grandfather were born in January. You were born in July."

Lars joke, 21st Birthdays

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Lars joke, 21st Birthdays

Lars joke, 21st Birthdays