The Best 54 Larry Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Larry jokes. There are some larry cindy jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these larry lenny puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Larry Jokes and Puns

My uncle Larry got bit by a snake.

My uncle Larry got bit by a snake. Not knowing if it was poisonous, he quickly grabbed the creature by the head, bit it in half and drove me, himself and the snake's body to the hospital.

As soon as we got there, the doctor informed us that for future reference proper term was *venomous* and this particular snake was not.

Which would have been a relief, except by that point uncle Larry had died of a poisonous snake bite.

Tom and Larry go to the movies

Tom and Larry go see a movie that features a horse race. Tom turns to Larry and says, "I'll bet you $20 that the white horse wins." Larry responds, "No way. I'll take that bet any day." Unfortunately for Larry, the white horse won. After the movie, Tom says, "you don't have to pay me. I'd already seen this movie, and now I feel bad about making the bet." Larry, looking very confused, replies, "well, so had I, but I didn't think he could do it again."

Larry was not a good gift giver.

Every time he gave his wife a gift for Christmas, her birthday, or their anniversary, she complained about what a sucky gift it was. She was starting to get angry.
"Larry, the next time you give me a bad gift, I will light it on fire!"
A week later was Larry's wife's birthday. She came down to see only one small box. She sighed and went to go get a lighter. She opened up the present. It was a candle.

Larry joke, Larry was not a good gift giver.

Oh hey, Larry's sporting bling in his ears

Joe: When did you start wearing earrings?

Larry: Since the day my wife found them in my car.

If I had more than one kid, I'd call the second kid ...

... etcetera.

- Marilyn Manson in his 2013 interview with Larry King.


Frank's wife goes missing

Frank's wife goes missing and a week later he bumps into his friend Larry on the street. "Frank! How are you? You look a little worse for wear. Any news on your wife?"

"Hi Larry, I'm alright. They said I should be prepared for the worst."

"Oh god that's awful!" Larry sympathises.

"Yeah I know right. I had to buy all her stuff back from the thrift shop this afternoon."

Larry at the police station

Larry's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him. Larry asked,"Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture ? "

Larry joke, Larry at the police station

There once was a man named Larry


Whose stomach detested dairy
He had ice cream
Harmless it seemed
But next afternoon he was buried

Larry is a biologist who prefers to observe his deep-sea specimens up close in the field

He works well under pressure

The Tree Stooges: Moehogany, Cherry, and Curly Maple

Alternate for Larry: Larchy

Baseball

A man, Tom was with his friend, Larry, Larry was about to die. "Let me know if there's baseball in heaven". said Tom. The next day as Tom was sleeping he woke up to Larry's voice.
"Tom, I have good news and bad news." "What's the good news"?
asked Tom. "There is baseball in heaven". explained Larry. "What's the bad news"? asked Tom "You're pitching Tuesday". said Larry

You can explore larry jeffrey reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean larry bubba dad jokes. There are also larry puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


My friend asked me how I became so confident, I told him I play Russian roulette every morning...

RIP Larry.

Today's Top Joke

Tom was at the hospital visiting with his best friend Larry who was dying. Tom asked, "If there is baseball in heaven will you come back and tell me?" Larry nodded yes just as he passed away. That night while Tom was sleeping, he heard Larry's voice in a dream, "Tom..." "Larry! What is it?!" asked Tom. "I have good news and bad news from heaven." "What's the good news?" "There is baseball in heaven after all, but the bad news is you're pitching on Tuesday."

A screwdriver walks into a bar...

The bartender sees it and shouts out, "Hey! We have a drink named after you!"

The screwdriver gets excited and says, "You have a drink named Larry?"

My boss just told me that I'm doing the work of three men...

Moe, Larry and Curly

Bones - joke

Doctor: Did you know that there are more than 1,000 bones in the human body?

Larry: Shhh, doctor! There are three dogs outside in the waiting room!

Larry joke, Bones - joke

It's no surprise that Trump is here, just look at all the movies where there is a black President and something comes to destroy the earth.

All credits go to Larry Wilmore. ;)

They just named a street after Larry the Cable guy in the city I live.

Not funny blvd.

I walked in on my best friend Larry banging my wife.

I said "Larry, I gotta', but you?"


Lazy Larry walks into a bar...

At least, he *said* he would.

Which bird can jump the highest?

Larry Bird

Larry La Prise, the creator of the hokey pokey died this week....

Every thing went well with the funeral except putting the body in the casket

They put the left leg in....

And then the trouble started

What did Senator Craig's Sensei always say to him in class?

"Widen your stance Larry! I want to see a wider stance!"

Larry sued Mary after she banned him from using the printer

It was a matter of copyright.

I hopped in a cab after work and said to the cabbie

"My wife won't put out any more. Take me somewhere I can get an easy chick that won't say no"

10 minutes later he dropped me off at my house and said

"Just tell her Larry sent you"

Why did Larry and Curly apply for security clearance?

Because they were going to Gitmo

"I don't want to be remembered. I want the nice words when I can hear them."

- Larry Lewitz

People are really sad about the news that Larry King has lung cancer

while others are excited to hear he's alive.

A husband's last request to his wife

*on my death bed*

Me: One thing I want you to do for me...

Wife: Name it?

Me: I want you to marry Larry.

Wife: (pause)You sure? I thought you hated Larry?

Me: I do.

In ancient Greece, athletes had sex with their trainers to show respect.

Someone should tell Larry Nassar this isn't ancient Greece.

William left his hair-piece at my house.

I decide I'll give it to him when I see him next time. However, my friend Larry came over to borrow some money.

I told him I cant.

"Why?" he asked.

"I got Bill's toupee."

Larry Nassar would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for those Medaling kids

Larry Nassar would have gotten away with it....

if it weren't for those medaling kids!

Showerthoughts removed my original, so going for gold here.

What question do you think Larry Nassar asked all those women that he'll be asked in prison?

How does it feel when I do this?

Kim Jong Un, Martin Shkreli, Donald Trump, and Larry Nassar are put into an arena forced to fight to the death. Who wins?

Society

Larry Nassar is like an Australian philosophy graduate

...because he'll be spending his life behind bars.

Four guys are hanging out.

One of them says, Hey, did you know 1 out of ever 4 guys is gay?

Larry says, I hope it's chuck because he's really cute.

A mule walks in to a bar...

And sits down. The bartender sees him and says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!!"

The mule says "You have a drink named Larry?"

I accidentally bumped into a little person yesterday.

I asked if he was OK and he said "I'm not happy". I said "well, which one are you then?" (Credit to Larry the Cable Guy)

Can't cook

Two bachelors, Larry and Frank were out to dinner. The conversation drifted from office, sports to politics and then to cooking.
I got a cook book once said Larry. But I couldn't do anything with it.
Too much fancy stuff in it, huh? asked Frank.
You said it, Larry replied, nodding.
Every one of those recipes began the same way: Take a clean plate…

What kind of beer does Larry Page drink?

Jeem Ale

There's a guy at the fertility clinic that specializes in abortions. His name is Larry Croft.

He's a Womb Raider.

My friend Laura was always depressed because she felt she didn't belong in her body, so she got a sex change

She's happy as Larry.

If I write with the wrong hand that I've lost a limb to Lefty Loathin' Larry...

Then the right hand is my left hand, and my right hand is what's left!

A Grasshopper walks into a bar...

He sits down and the bartender looks at him and says: Hey! Ya know, we have a drink named after you?! The Grasshopper replies: You have a drink named Larry?

Tony calls his buddy Larry and asks him what he's going to do tonight.

Larry tells Tony, "I'm gonna be layin' linoleum."

Tony says, "Oh yeah!! You think she can get a friend for me?!!"

Larry the Cucumber was having trouble.

Bob the Tomatoe walked in and said, "Sounds like quite the pickle".

I actually come from a parallel universe where Earth was destroyed by Larry the Cable Guy.

We called the event Arma-Git-R-Done.

After days of getting the cold shoulder from his wife, Larry finally confronted her.

"Admit it," he said. "The only reason you married me is because my grandfather left me a million dollars."

"Don't be ridiculous!" she shot back. "I don't care who left the money with you."

A man walks in to a bar

And sees an ugly old humpback of a guy, who is constantly surrounded by women.

How to spot a millionaire, am I right? he winks and smiles at the bartender

No, Larry is a plumber, not a millionaire

Okay - so he must be extremely charming?

Larry is actually a man of very few words

Then what on earth makes him so incredibly popular with women??

I actually have no idea - every day he comes here, he just sits there quietly, drinking his beer, licking his eyebrows..

Was reading a "People Who Passed Away In 2020" article and saw that Larry Tesler, one of the co-developers of the basic copy and paste function for computers, died in February.

Was reading one of those "People Who Passed Away In 2020" articles and saw that Larry Tesler, one of the co-developers of the basic copy and paste function for computers, died in February.

Was reading one of those "People Who Passed Away In 2020" articles and saw that Larry Tesler, one of the co-developers of the basic copy and paste function for computers, died in February.

A census enumerator is working out in the country when he knocks on the door of a farmhouse.

A woman opens the door, and the man explains he's with the census and she agrees to do the interview. Eventually he gets to the part where he asks if she has children.

Let's see, says the woman, There's Timmy and Tammy; they're 4. There's Molly and Holly; they're 8. There's Terry and Larry; they're–

The census worker cuts her off, wide-eyed. You mean to tell me, he says, that you got twins EVERY time?!

The woman laughs and says Oh goodness, no! There was hundreds of times we didn't get anything!

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, Hey, we've got a drink named after you!

The grasshopper says, Oh dang, you got a drink named Larry?

A man told his servant, "Call me a taxi, Larry"

The servant replied, "Sure sir, You're a taxi."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the larry donny jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working larry larry the cable guy piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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