Largest Jokes

139 largest jokes and hilarious largest puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about largest that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Largest Short Jokes

Short largest jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The largest humour may include short biggest jokes also.

  1. So the US Military dropped a 22,000 lb bomb on ISIS today. That moves Amy Shumer's special to the second spot for largest bomb for the year.
  2. My girlfriend from college was obsessed with trying to find the largest known prime number. I wonder what she's up to now.
  3. Tonight, I will be judging the "World's Largest Ribeye" competition. I am not sure who will win. But the steaks are huge.
  4. Paleontologists are having a party to celebrate unearthing the largest ever dinosaur Tibia. It's going to be quite the shindig.
  5. The world's largest egg is laid by the ostrich... And the world's largest woman is laid by your dad.
  6. I had four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. I just had the largest vowel movement...
    I'll see myself out.
  7. United Airlines pays "enormous sum to Dr. Dao who they dragged of plane" Largest bill for Chinese take out to date
  8. UK is a very generous country It is the largest supplier of independence day to countries around the world.
  9. Somebody made a cake shaped like Canada, and sliced it to match the province/territory borders I said I wanted the largest piece, but they told me I could have none of it
  10. Someone asked me what the largest state in the US is... ...I told them I don't know but I know a girl who might so Alaska.

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Largest One Liners

Which largest one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with largest? I can suggest the ones about longest and greatest.

  1. I work for the world's largest nanotechnology company. We're not very good.
  2. What's the largest export of Great Britain? Independence days
  3. Can you conquer the largest continent on earth? No, but Genghis Khan!
  4. I just ate four cans of alphabet soup... ...and just had the largest vowel movement ever.
  5. What's the largest city in America? Obesity
  6. What's the world's largest pan? Japan.
  7. Boomerangs are Australia's largest Export. And Import.
  8. The largest city in the world is... Dublin.
    Because it keeps on Dublin and Dublin
  9. Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? In an American nursing home.
  10. What do you call the largest number of grizzlies you can fit in a car? The bear maximum
  11. Which planet appears largest in a telescope? Earth
  12. What is the largest land animal that is not important? The irrelephant .
  13. Did you hear about the worlds largest broom? It's really sweeping the nation
  14. Which dinosaur has the largest vocabulary? Thesaurus
  15. Breaking News: United States is now the largest producer of salt. So Salty...

Largest Exporter Jokes

Here is a list of funny largest exporter jokes and even better largest exporter puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Yo mama so fat… That when she went to [insert foreign country] she became [home country]'s largest export
  • What is Finland's largest export? Lines
  • China has one of the largest manufacturing and exporting economies in the world. What product of theirs is most commonly exported? Newborn girls.
Largest joke, China has one of the largest manufacturing and exporting economies in the world. What product of the

Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Largest Jokes

What funny jokes about largest you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tallest jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make largest pranks.

Berry good

Two guys were arguing over the best way to grow strawberries. One asserted that Miracle-Gro was the best method, the other insisted that cow manure would yield the largest and sweetest berries. They finally decided to ask Mrs. Thompson, who was known far and wide for her succulent, large strawberries. So one farmer says Mrs. Thompson, do you put cow manure on your strawberries. She replied, No, I either eat them plain or add sugar and cream.

Russian Condoms

One day the president of the largest c**... company in Russia is called down by his sales associate. He tells the president that they have just gotten a huge order from America for double extra large 16" condoms. The associate tells the prez that it must be a prank, so the president mulls it over for a minute and then says "Make their order, but when you mark them them for shipping, stamp them with 'EXTRA SMALL.'"

A w**... Contest.

Three 3rd Graders, an Irish, an Italian, and a Black are in the bathroom during recess and they decide to have a w**... contest to see who has the biggest w**...! The Irish boy pulls his out first and it's pretty small. The Italian goes next and it's about average. Then the Black Boy pulls his out and it's clearly the largest, but the other boys say "Well you won, but it's because you're black!"
So that night when the black boy goes home, his mom asks him what he did in school that day. He tells her how they did coloring, and reading, and what they learned, and how he played recess, but then he says "And mom, today me and my friends had a w**... contest, and I won! But mom, the others boys said I only won because I'm black". To which his mom replies "Tyrone, you didn't win because you're black, you won because you're 17!"

As I went to reach for the largest cucumber....

As I went to reach for the largest cucumber in the supermarket a woman also went to grab it.
"Oh yeah, I bet I know why you want the biggest one," I winked.
"You've got me," she giggled, "do you fancy coming back to mine and watching?"
"No thanks," I replied, "I've got better things to do with my time than stand watching a woman make sandwiches."

What's the difference between a blue whale and your mother?

One is the largest known mammal on earth, the other is a blue whale.

A tour bus is traveling through Nevada...

it briefly passes by the Bunny Ranch in Carson City.
The guide notes, "We are now passing the largest house of legal prostitution in America"
A man in the back shouts, "WHY?!?"

Did you hear about the p**...-off cartographer tasked with redrawing the map of Canada's largest territory?

He was halving Nunavut.

Why Won't Anyone Tell me the Name of Ukraine's 5th Largest City?

They keep telling me to stop asking...

Three people walk into a bar.

First person: I want the largest glass of beer you have.
Second person: You want the largest glass of beer we have?
Third person: He wants the largest glass of beer you have.

What is the definision of mixed feelings?

When your wife says that you have the largest in your street.

Not to Brag:

Not to brag, but I own the world's largest collection of air guitars. - World's First, The Largest and Most Popular Technology Social Network, Blogging Platform, Online Communi & Download Zone

The French military suffered a major loss today...

Their largest white flag factory burned to the ground.

TIL the Airbus A380, the world's largest passenger airliner, shares a type rating with yo momma!

Clearly we need more nerdy yo momma jokes.

I figured out what the largest number is: -1

Because 0 is bigger than it.

The largest city in the world is:

The largest city in the world is Dublin. That's because the size and population are always Dublin.

How much of Canada's land area does its largest territory take up?


Who has the largest pupils?

A sumo instructor.

I identify as the second largest oceanic division...

I am a Trans-Atlantic.

TIL if you currently live in Sydney, Australia. You aren't actually allowed to be buried at Sydney's largest cemetery.

Apparently it's i**... to bury people alive.

What do you do if you accidentally cut off your cat's tail?

Take him to WalMart. They are the largest retailer in the world.

A man throws a dollar coin into a wishing well...

and a genie pops out. The genie tells him "You have thrown the largest money value into this well since it has been built. You may have one wish."
"I want a dragon."
"Are you sure? That's... pretty big, and would probably give me away. Anything else?"
"I want to learn how to fold a fitted sheet."
"...what color dragon do you want?"

What military branch has the largest biceps?

The Army.

Alaskan said to Texan: Stop bragging....

...about how big your state is, or we'll divide Alaska in half and make you the third largest state.

TIL about the world's largest Ponzi scheme

He Madoff with a lot of money

Why did the r**... take his cat to Walmart after running over it's tail with the lawn mower?

Because they're the largest re-tail-er

In developing a technique to turn white dogs into Dalmatians....

...Daniel Ek and Martin Lorentzon accidentally created the largest music catalog in the world.

The world's largest info tech company has merged with a mobile accessories company, but refuses to share a name with them. And they're not even sorry about it.

Nope, they're not Apple-Logitech.

Sean Spicer said the inauguration had the "largest audience ever."

Then he took it back because your mother left.

What is the largest super bowl of them all?


My teacher said, because I was acting up in class, I have to do a book report on the largest bone in the arm.

Isn't that humorous?

A concert promoter was fired for claiming he had the worlds largest piano player booked when he was only 5' 8"...

Just another case of a man lying about the size of his pianist.

Why is America the largest importer of coffee?

So they can flavor their milkshakes.

What's the largest religion in North Korea?

Crystal Methodists

Which country in the world has the largest capital

It's Ireland, because it's capital is always 'Dublin'
(My PE teachers son came up with this one)

You get to choose between visiting Canada's largest territory, or all the provinces together.

It's either all of it or Nunavut

News: British man who built world's largest Rubik's cube builds world's largest fidget spinner.

He then went home to the world's emptiest bed.

Teaching a kid about animals and asked her: "Which animal is the largest animal in the world?"

She replied: "You."
(True story, just happened minutes ago while tutoring a kid. *Cries*)

Why did the man eating the largest cut of sirloin feel super sad when he was told the restaurant was closing down?

Because he was the biggest steakholder.

What is Kim Jun-Un's largest fear?

Projectile dysfunction

I recently won 1st place at the state fair for having the largest pickle

It was a pretty big dill

What do you call the largest mammal on earth that lives in a palace? (not mine)

The Prince of Wales

What's the largest database for child s**... predators?


An English teacher asked their students: "Of all the characters in the Old Testament, who do you think is the most developed?"

A student responded, "Noah, because he has the largest story Ark."

The Titanic

So, not many people know, back in the 1900's mayonnaise was only made in Europe. The titanic carried 1200 cases scheduled for delivery in the port of Vera Cruz as her next dock after her stop in New York. What would have been the first largest shipment sadly went down with the ship. The Mexicans were so upset over the loss they still celebrate a day of mourning which we know now as sinko de mayo.

"What is the largest body of water in the world?" Quiz contestant: "The ocean?"

Asker: "I'm sorry, you're going to have to be more Pacific."

Did you hear about the world's largest pickle?

It's a really big dill!

How do you win one of Arizona's largest city's noodle counting contest?

You've got to have the right Tempe-ramen-tally

What do you call 4046 m² of Massachusetts' largest city?

A Boston MassAcre

Whats the largest mammal on land?

A beached whale

A businessman boarded a plane...

to find, sitting next to him, an elegant woman wearing the largest, most stunning, diamond ring he had ever seen.
He asked her about it. "This is the Klopman diamond," she said. "It is beautiful, but there is a terrible curse that goes with it."
"What's the curse?" the man asked.
"Mr Klopman."

The largest bounce house in the world is around 10,000 feet, big enough to live in...

But the rent is pretty high due to inflation

I was talking to a russian the other day and he said that russia is the largest european nation...

I said, sorry man, eurasian.

There were three restaurants

There were three restaurants on the same block. One day one of them put up a sign which said "The Best Restaurant in the City."
The next day, the largest restaurant on the block put up a larger sign which said "The Best Restaurant in the World."
On the third day, the smallest restaurant put up a small sign which said "The Best Restaurant on this Block."

A physicist, an engineer and a mathematician are given the task to contain the largest amount of area with a limited amount of fence.

The physicist designs a square fence, showing that a square contains the most area.
The Engineer then designs a circular fence, showing that the area to circumference ratio is better than a square.
The mathematician think for a moment, then starts building a tiny fence around himself. When he's done, he says "I define myself to be the outside.

What is the largest barrier to women's advancement in the work place?

The wives of the men in hiring positions.

Where is the largest synagogue in the universe?


Two things I've learned from the Internet:

A) My mother is the largest thing in the universe


B) Everyone is still lining up for a turn at her.

A husband's new wife really wants...

A husband's new wife really wants to go on a cruise for their honeymoon. The husband agrees, even though he tends to get horribly seasick on the water.
So the day before the wedding, he goes to a drugstore. He gets a jumbo pack of condoms, and the largest bottle of dramamine in the store.
At the checkout counter, the cashier looks at his condoms and dramamine and asks, If it makes you so sick, why do you do it?

Did you know that America holds the record for the worlds largest cup of tea?

Its about the size of the Boston harbor.

A blue whale is the largest animal that's ever existed

It's so big that if it was laid out on a basketball court the game would have to be cancelled.

*Fantastic Ocean Life Facts* The Blue Whale is by far the world's largest animal...'s so big in fact that if you laid it out on a basketball court, the game would be over and the whale would die.

My ex girlfriend was obsessed with trying to discover the largest prime number.

I wonder what she is up to now.

Why was the orange-colored metal police officer found not guilty of trespassing inside the world largest dime?

Everyone knew that copper was in a cent.

Did You Hear About The Man Who Saw The Largest Heist Of Apple Products Ever?

He was an IWitness

Largest joke, Did You Hear About The Man Who Saw The Largest Heist Of Apple Products Ever?

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