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Large Family Jokes

33 large family jokes and hilarious large family puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about large family that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Large Family Short Jokes

Short large family jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The large family humour may include short fun family jokes also.

  1. An Asian woman brings her large Irish boyfriend to meet her traditional parents Her mother says:
    "You bring great Shamus to this family."
  2. What's the difference between a large pepperoni pizza and an English degree? The pizza can feed a family of four.
  3. My great grandma couldn't stop giggling at our large family barbecue... I asked her what she found so funny?
    "Everyone here is alive, because I got laid." she said.
  4. What's the difference between a musician and a large pizza? The pizza can feed a family of 4.
  5. What's the difference between a degree in gender studies and a large pizza A large pizza can feed a family of four
  6. What's the difference between a professional drummer and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of four.
  7. What's the difference between you and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed an entire family.
  8. What is the difference between a arts graduate and a large pizza ? Pizza can feed a family of four
  9. What'd the difference between an aspiring musician and a large Pizza? The large Pizza can actually feed a family of four.
  10. Coworker: You're an idiot. Me: Nobody talks to me that way except... My mother
    My father
    My wife
    My wife's family
    Small children
    Large children
    And now I guess my coworkers....

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Large Family One Liners

Which large family one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with large family? I can suggest the ones about family group and big people.

  1. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family... ... in another city!
  2. A large Indian family walks into a restaurant It was a party of Sikhs
  3. What do you call a large pack of l**... in Alabama? Family size

Howlingly Hilarious Large Family Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening

What funny jokes about large family you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean family business jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make large family pranks.

English, American and Arab guy bragging in a bar about their large family.

The American says: "I have 4 kids. One more, and I can make a basketball team!"
The English says: "I have 10 kids. One more, and I can make a football ("soccer") team!"
The Arab guy says: "I have 17 wifes. One more, and I can make a golf course!"

Mike was going to be married to Karen so his Father sat him down for a little chat...

He said, 'Mike, let me tell you something.
On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants, handed them to your Mother, and said, Here, try these on.''
She did and said, 'These are too big.
I can't wear them.'
I replied, 'Exactly.. I wear the pants in
this family and I always will.'
Ever since that night, we have
never had any problems.
'Hmmm,' said Mike. He thought that might be a good thing to try.
So....On his honeymoon, Mike took off his pants and said to Karen, 'Here, try these on..!
She tried them on and said, 'These are too large. They don't fit me.'
Mike said, 'Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will.
I don't want you to ever forget that.'
Then Karen took off her p**... and handed them to Mike. She said, 'Here, you try on mine !
Mike did and said,
'I can't get into your p**....'
Karen said, 'Exactly.
And if you don't change your smart-a**... attitude, you never will.'

A r**... family was visiting the city...

...and they were in a mall for the first time in their life. The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, "Paw, What's 'at?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I dunno. I ain't never seen nuthin'like that in my entire life, I ain't got no idea'r what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a large old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Then the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, "Boy, go git yo Momma."

A woman was picking through the frozen turkeys at the local supermarket,

But she was having trouble finding one that was large enough for her family.
She decided to ask the shop assistant, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The shop assistant replied, "No ma'am, they're dead.."

Mice

A family of mice were out walking, and were suddenly surprised by a large cat. Father Mouse stood his ground, drew himself up to his full height, and shouted BOW-WOW-WOW!!! at the cat. The cat, alarmed, ran off.
The small mice were very impressed. That was fantastic, Dad! How did you do that?
That, son, explains Father Mouse, demonstrates the value of learning a second language.

Me: Hey Siri, I lost my Job.

Siri: That's bad, do you want me to tell a joke to cheer you up?
Me: Sure, go ahead.
Siri: What's the difference between a You and Large Pizza?
Me: Idk
Siri: A large pizza can feed a family.

A lady is shopping for a big family dinner

She goes to the market to get a turkey to roast, but she can't find one that is large enough to feed her entire family. She finds an employee and asks "Excuse me sir, do these turkeys get any bigger?"
"No ma'am, I'm sorry... they're dead."

Van Gogh Family

Vincent Van Gogh had a really large family. Here's a listing of some of the lesser known relatives:
* The really obnoxious brother - Please Gogh
* The brother who ate prunes - Gotta Gogh
* His dizzy aunt - Verti Gogh
* An aunt who taught positive thinking - Wayto Gogh
* And his magician uncle - Wherediddy Gogh

Tell the class something interesting about your family.

During class, the teacher wanted the students to say something interesting about their family.
Johnny decided to go first and said: '' My father has two p**... ''. The teacher knew that was impossible and asked Johnny to elaborate.
Johnny then said: '' He has a small one he uses to pee and a large one he uses to brush mommy's mouth with! ''

What do a musician and a large pizza have in common?

Neither one can feed a family of four.

One of these things is not like the other

Which one of these things is not like the other?
-A large all dressed pizza & bread sticks
-A degree in neuroscience
-A degree in theoretical mathematics
-A degree in engineering
Answer: A degree theoretical mathematics.
Reasoning: All of these can feed a family of four except for the answer

My family did a poll: Should we get grandmother a large deer?

In the end it was a unannymoose decision

Walking past the f**... directors.

I was walking past the f**... directors the other day, and I looked in, and was shocked to see a large, hairy elephant in a black suit showing a family a head stone.
I thought to myself "That's a mammoth undertaking."

What's the difference...

between a (nationality, ethnicity, etc you want to make fun of) man and a large pizza?
~A large pizza can feed a family of four.

What's the difference between 2 large pizzas and a jazz musician?

2 large pizzas can feed a whole family

Financial Planning like a pro

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. His sickly father told Dan he was going to inherit the business and a fortune but his father's one wish was to see Dan get married and settled before he passed on.
One evening, Dan went to a financial planning seminar, It was given by the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She was bright and personable to boot. Dan fell in love at first sight. He told her, "I may look pretty ordinary, but my father will probably die soon and I will inherit the family business and a large fortune. Impressed, the woman asked Dan for his business card, and three weeks later, she became his stepmother.

I took the whole family out to eat Chinese for Thanksgiving: The fortune cookie read:

You will soon receive a large bill and you will be expected to add a tip to it!