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Laptop Jokes

139 laptop jokes and hilarious laptop puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about laptop that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you in search of some hilarious jokes related to laptops? Then look no further! This article contains a collection of puns and funny one-liners about laptop chargers, broken laptops, Dell laptops, USBs, cursors, and notebooks. So grab your device and get ready to laugh!

Best Short Laptop Jokes

Short laptop jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The laptop humour may include short notebook jokes also.

  1. My laptop was making funny noises today, it sounded like it was singing... Probably because it's a Dell
  2. Everyone keeps downvoting my racist jokes. It's like a load of black people have suddenly gotten laptops or something.
  3. Today I donated a laptop, a smartphone and $500 to a poor guy. Can't express the happiness I got when I saw him putting the knife back in his pocket
  4. I have an image of Jesus that pops up on my laptop if I leave it idle for 10 minutes... It's my screen savior...
  5. I just checked my documents on my Laptop to find they are all gone Who let the docx. out?
    (This is my friend's joke)
  6. Don't be worried about your iPhone and laptop spying on you Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.
  7. Someone stole my Microsoft office from my laptop. I will find you and I will get you. You have my Word.
  8. If you think that your computer, laptop and phone spying on you is scary then think again, Because your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years
  9. Hey, are you the bottom of my laptop? Because you're really hot and it's making me nervous.
  10. New technology uses bacteria to power a laptop I guess you could say the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the dell

Quick Jump To


Laptop joke, New technology uses bacteria to power a laptop


Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about laptop can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of laptop puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Laptop One Liners

Which laptop one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with laptop? I can suggest the ones about smartphone and computer keyboard.

  1. I like my woman like I like my Laptop On my lap , turned on ,Virus free
  2. What do you call a singing laptop? A Dell
  3. Today I made my first money as a Programmer. I sold my laptop.
  4. I dropped my laptop in the middle of the ocean A dell must be rolling in the deep
  5. I just made money for the first time as a programmer I sold my laptop
  6. Why couldnt the laptop take off his hat? He had caps lock on.
  7. I like my women like I like my laptop. Sitting in my lap, turned on, with no viruses.
  8. So I painted my laptop black. I thought it would run faster. But now, it doesn't work.
  9. Yo mama so fat She ate her laptop because the website said it had cookies in it.
  10. Everytime I turn my laptop on it says hello to me Probably because it's a Dell
  11. What do you call a burger that merged with a laptop? *A big mac*
  12. Which laptops do Taliban use? infiDELL
  13. I once dropped my laptop into the lake Now it's just a dell rolling in the deep
  14. I like my women like I like my viruses. Safely contained on my laptop.
  15. Why couldn't the laptop go to sleep? Because it has two shifts.

Dell Laptop Jokes

Here is a list of funny dell laptop jokes and even better dell laptop puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call a laptop in the ocean? A Dell, rolling in the deep.
  • What happens when you throw a laptop into the ocean? You have a Dell, rolling in the deep.
  • I threw my laptop into the ocean.. Its a Dell rolling in the deep.
  • I threw my laptop into the sea last week... It's a dell, rolling in the deep
  • My laptop said hello to me.... I think it's "a Dell"
  • Do you know what laptop sings the best? A dell
  • I was wondering why my laptop saying Hello And Hello And then I remembered.... It's a dell
  • I lost my laptop on the beach yesterday Now it's a dell, rolling in the deep
  • What kind of laptop calls you a thousand times? A dell
  • My laptop got left outside during a storm. I tried turning it on and the screen blew and the keyboard started smoking. That's the first time I've seen the rain set fire to a Dell.

Laptop Charger Jokes

Here is a list of funny laptop charger jokes and even better laptop charger puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How many chargers does Mark Zuckerberg carry when he travels? Three. One for his laptop, one for his phone and one for himself.
Laptop joke, How many chargers does Mark Zuckerberg carry when he travels?

Gather Around for Fun Laptop Jokes and Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about laptop you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean computer hardware jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make laptop prank.

I sat at the cafe today.


No cellphone.
No tablet.
No laptop.
I just sat there.
Drinking coffee.
Like a Psychopath.

I was at a job interview today when the manager handed me his laptop and said

"I want you to try to sell this to me."
So I put it under my arm, walked out of the building, and went home.
Eventually he called me and said "Bring my laptop back here right now!"
I said "$200 and it's yours."

Life keeps getting worse. Last night a thief stole the bottom left key off my laptop.

It feels like I'm losing control.


I'd rather have a laptop than an iPad.

At least you can slam it shut when your lady walks in.

The world didn't end today because...

Chuck Norris just bought a laptop with a 3 year warranty.

"You know, honey, when i'm old and very ill, i don't want to live like a vegetable..

i don't want to depend on any machine or any other fluids that are supposed to keep me alive". As i said that to her, she looked at me dearly, then she went on to confiscate my phone, laptop and flushed down the toilet all the beer i had.

We had a big storm on the weekend, we had a b**... and you couldn't go outside. After a while the batteries on my laptop and phone had run out so I read the newspaper and finished my latest book. After that there was nothing to do so I sat down and talked to my wife for an hour or so.

She seems quite nice.

I've just been arrested by police investigating match fixing.

They executed search warrants at my home and office, seized my computer, laptop and mobile phone, and froze my bank account.
All I did was go into my local bookies and put a £5 bet on Manchester United to win.

We had a power outage today...

...and my PC, laptop, TV, DVD, iPad & surround sound music system were all shut down.
Then I discovered that my phone battery was flat and I couldn't charge it.To top it off it was snowing outside. So I couldn't play golf and I couldn't fish. I went into the kitchen to make coffee and then I remembered that this also needs power. So does the microwave. So popcorn won't happen.
So I talked with my wife for a few hours. She seems like such a nice person.

We had a outage at my place this morning...

We had a outage at my place this morning and my PC, laptop,
TV, DVD, iPad & my new surround sound music system were all shut down.
Then I discovered that my iPhone battery was flat and to top it off it
was raining outside, so I couldn't play golf.
I went into the kitchen to make coffee and then I remembered that this
also needs power, so I talked with my wife for a few hours.
She seems like a nice person.

So a tech support has a house call...

When he gets there a little old lady answers the door. She let's him in and tell him to sit on the couch while she gets her laptop. She steps away and the tech notices a bowl of peanuts on the coffee table and helps himself to some while he waits. When she comes back the tech says "I hope you don't mind I ate some of your nuts." The little lady says "Help yourself! I just s**... the chocolate off them anyways."

The down arrow key on my laptop isn't functional. IT asked me if they should call the on-site repair guy to come in today...

I told them it wasn't pressing.

I spilled coffee on my laptop.

now it won't go into sleep mode..

As soon as I plugged in my laptop, all my files became unreadable.

I guess power corrupts.

Told by my 11yo son.

A woman gets a brand new laptop and is excitedly setting it up. The machine asks her to set her password. Husband tells her to use "mypenis". So she does, but the computer responds "ERROR. Not long enough."

My wife said, "Why is the laptop all sticky?"

I said, "It's not what you think, it's ice cream."
She said, "How did you manage to get ice cream all over the laptop?"
I said, "Have you ever tried eating an ice cream while m**...?"

What's the difference between chrome and chromium?

Chrome will heat my laptop to 1907 °C and still remain frozen.

Job Interview

I was at a job interview today, and my employer gave me a laptop and asked me to sell it to him. I then walked out the door with the laptop under my arm.
A few hours later, he called me at home and demanded that I give it back to him, to which I replied; "200 Bucks and it's yours."

How do you catch a runaway laptop?

With an Internet.

"I've been a very bad girl. I need to be punished." She said...

"Very well.." I replied.. installing windows 8 on her laptop.

I had a job interview...

...the interviewer slid his laptop across the table and said "sell this to me."
I closed the screen, unplugged it, and left.
I ignored his calls for about three hours. When I did answer, he said "Where is my laptop?!"
"You wanna buy it?"

Why couldnt the laptop see?

Cause it was SoDIMM

A duck and a laptop go to a bar and, after a while, the bartender asks the duck if he'd like the drinks on his bill

The laptop scolds the bartender for making such an assumption and insists that the drinks be put on his tab

What do you call a laptop that can sing?

Adele

What happens when you paint your laptop black?

It runs faster

"I've been a naughty, naughty girl" she said to me, biting her lower lip, "and I need to be punished"

So I installed Windows 10 on her laptop.

please help laptop problem

I painted my laptop black in hope of it running faster, now it doesnt work at all.

Victim gets beat up, laptop stolen

But that's not the whole story so if you see "charged with battery" don't buy it!

My mom won't let me eat while using her laptop anymore...

Because when she caught me stroganoff I dropped my pennes on the keyboard.

I got arrested for staring at two women kissing on the train.

That's the last time I'll be taking my laptop.

LPT: Start a film on your laptop before you go to bed.

That way, the NSA will have something to watch while you sleep. ^_^

Nickelodeon - Casually ask your daughter who that actress' is...

Then take your laptop to the bathroom.

A guy goes in for a job interview...

A guy goes in for a job interview.
The manager hands the guy his laptop and says, "I want you to try and sell this to me."
So the guy puts it under his arm, walks out of the building, and goes home.
Eventually, the manager calls the guy and says, "Bring it back here right now!"
The guy says, "$200 and it's yours."

Last night my parents found s**... videos on my laptop.

"What should we do?" My mom asked.
"Well we can't s**... him!" My Dad replied.

I went in for a job interview today...

The manager, looking for a great salesperson, picked up a laptop and said "sell me this laptop".
I proceeded to stick it under my armpit and walk out.
A few minutes later, the manager called my cellphone upset saying "bring it back!!!"
I said "i'll sell it to you for $200 bucks!"

What's the worst part about jerking off in the shower?

When your laptop breaks.

It recently came out that ISIS was developing a bomb disguised as a laptop battery to take on airplanes

They must have been taking Notes from Samsung

Husband goes home drunk

To avoid trouble, he takes out his laptop and pretends to be busy.
His wife went close to him and asked, "You are drunk again, right"
Husband: No!
Wife: Then why are you typing on your briefcase?

I dated a kleptomaniac once

She stole my heart, and my laptop.

Hey baby are you the bottom of my laptop?

Cause you're hot and I'm getting nervous

Sell this to me

So I was in a job interview and my manager handed me his laptop.
"I want you to sell this to me." -Manager
So I take the laptop out of the building and I receive a call from him.
"Hey bring my laptop back!"-Manager
"I'll sell it to you for 300."

Why are laptops always wanted by the police?

Because they are charged with battery.

I like my women like I like my laptop.

Hot, on my lap, and virus-free.

Which parts of a laptop are best suited for laying siege?

The battery and ram.

The other day I saw a black guy walking near my house carrying a laptop...

I panicked a little, thought it could be mine – so I ran home quickly. I was relieved as I saw mine was still there.
Wiping the floor.







I hope this doesn't get banned as^you ^know ^it's ^kinda... ^^dark

Gramma and laptop

My gramma thought my laptop was a scale
She weighed 300$

My 6-Year-old came up to me While I was paying thetaxes on my laptop

6yr: What game are you playing?
Me: Paying the taxes.
6yr: Are you winning?
Me: No, In fact I lost 6 Years ago.

I took my laptop on the fishing boat one day when it fell in...

It was Adele, rolling in the deep.

I heard about the One Laptop Per Child program and I have questions.

1) Where do I get the laptop?
2) Where do I turn in the child?

How was your job interview yesterday?

Well, I entered the office, found a man sitting on a large black leather chair with feet resting foron the table....
He pointed towards his laptop, asked me to take it and go outside, then come back and try to sell him the laptop...
He thought himself as actor Leonardo Di Caprio of "The wolf of wall street" movie...
So I took the laptop and left...
Left... ?? Then what ??
Nothing...
30 minutes later he called me up, begging me to return his laptop to him coz all his work and important documents were in it.....
So I asked him:
Will you buy it ??

My wife wants a baby, she asked how motile my s**... is.

I replied "I'm not sure, but I've seen it leap over a laptop"

I had an interview for a position as a car salesman.

The interviewer handed me his laptop and said, Here, sell this to me.
I took the laptop and stuck it in my bag and left. Three hours later he called and asked for his laptop back. I said, You want to buy it back?

A man is telling a story to his friend.

He says:
- So last night I was at that s**... girl's place, and we were talkin' dirty. And at one point she blindfolded herself and said "Do what you want!". So, y'know, I grabbed her phone and laptop and walked out...
At that point, his friend starts laughing. The first guy replies:
- What you laughin' at? If you were there, we could have taken the TV!

I'm so white





... my laptop screen dims as I sit in front of it.

Why do laptops weigh more in the UK compared to the US?

The keyboard adds an extra pound.

The oldest laptop can be traced back to Adam and Eve

An Apple with very limited memory (1 Byte), single core and OS written in Python.

Why did one laptop arrest the other?

Because it was ASUS pect

What does a spoiled brat need to break a laptop in 1 minute?

1. Laptop
2. One minute
Real life story.

What does a homeless guy do first when he finds a laptop?

He searches through the Recycle bin.

Me: I am sorry I am late. I was having computer issues.

Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.

Laptop joke, Me: I am sorry I am late. I was having computer issues.

jokes about laptop

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these laptop jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.