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Lapd Jokes

26 lapd jokes and hilarious lapd puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lapd that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Everyone loves a good laugh, and this article has it all. Learn all about LAPD bear, why civilians need a modem, and the best lapd jokes. From funny one-liners to witty comebacks, you'll find plenty of good laughs here. Read now to get the latest lapd jokes and have a good time with your friends and family!

Funniest Lapd Short Jokes

Short lapd jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lapd humour may include short civilian jokes also.

  1. How many LAPD officers does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They shoot the room for being black and beat up the bulb for being broke.
  2. I got stopped by a woman cop with "LAPD" on her cap I said, where's your colleague with "ANCE" on hers?
  3. I found the rulebook for an old card game at my grandfather's house. "Draw a card, if it's black, take a shot."
    Oh wait, that's just the LAPD guidebook.
  4. In lieu of the recent manhunt... The LAPD's motto is "to protect and serve." I think they ought to change it to "We'll treat you like a King."
  5. Did you hear that the LAPD is training the Australian Police Force? I thought Australia already had enough black widows
  6. Q: What did the LAPD and Tropicana used to have in common? A: They both had O.J. in a can.

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Lapd One Liners

Which lapd one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lapd? I can suggest the ones about cops and investigation.

  1. A black guy applied for a job at the LAPD He got shot down
  2. How wonderful of you to... ...kick me when I'm down. You'd be a great LAPD officer.
  3. How does the LAPD play poker? Four clubs beat a King.
  4. I asked an LAPD officer to tell me a joke All he said was "Black teenagers civil rights"
  5. Usain Bolt got arrested in Los Angeles... It was the first time he'd ever been LAPD.
  6. What do the LAPD and computers have in common? They can both burn C.D's
  7. Does the k**... still exist? Yeah, they just changed their name to the LAPD...
  8. Why can't the show COPS film with the LAPD? Because s**... isn't allowed on television.

Lapd joke, Why can't the show COPS film with the LAPD?

Heartwarming Lapd Jokes that Make You Laugh

What funny jokes about lapd you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean authorities jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lapd pranks.

A guy applies for a job with the L.A.P.D.

Inspector says "These are the best qualifications I've ever seen, just one more test before you get the job.
Take this gun, go out and shoot six black guys and a rabbit."
Guy replies "Why the rabbit?"
Inspector says "Fantastic attitude, you've got the job!"

A guy applies for a job at the L.A.P.D.

The inspector says "These are the best qualifications I've ever seen! Just one more thing: take this gun and shoot 6 black men and a rabbit."
"Why the rabbit?" the man replies.
"Good attitude, you've got the job!"

LAPD Sent to Train Iraqi Police, Find Weapons of Mass Destruction

Within 2 months of being in Iraq to help train Iraqi Police recruits the LAPD sent the following message up to Army command:
It's over. We have weapons of mass destruction, need guidance on who we are supposed to find them on.
Edit* changed were to are

There was a burglary last night at the Los Angeles Police Department headquarters.

The thief or thieves stole all of the toilets.
When asked about the investigation, and LAPD spokesman said they have nothing to go on.

Law Enforcement

Back in the 80's the government wanted to have a competition to see which branch of law enforcement was most effective. They released 3 rabbits into 3 separate forests and asked the FBI, the CIA, and the LAPD to go find the rabbits. The FBI, after questioning the plants and minerals, determine rabbits do not exist. The CIA burn down the whole forest and say they have no regrets. And finally the LAPD, after 2 weeks, come out with a beaten and bruised bear screaming "I'm a rabbit, I'm a rabbit!"

The FBI, the CIA and the LAPD have a bet to see which organization is best...

They decide to release a single rabbit into the forest, and whoever can find it in the least amount of time is the best.
The FBI goes first. The interrogate all the animals, search every hole and cave and after 24 hours reluctantly admit that they can't find the rabbit.
The CIA then goes in. The burn down half the forest, send in specialized robots and drones into all the holes and caves and after 24 hours reluctantly admit that they can't find the rabbit.
Next the LAPD goes in... and in 20 minutes come out with a b**... bear who's yelling I'm a rabbit, please, I'm a rabbit!

Lapd joke, Usain Bolt got arrested in Los Angeles...