Lantern Jokes
44 lantern jokes and hilarious lantern puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lantern that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
From green lanterns to Chinese lanterns, these lantern jokes will light up your night with bewilderment. From Jack o' lanterns to funny bulb puns, these candlelit quips will have you laughing by the end of the night.
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Funniest Lantern Short Jokes
Short lantern jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lantern humour may include short lamp jokes also.
- What is the Great Gatsby's favorite superhero? Green Lantern.
His least favorite?
Deadpool. - In the old West, a lantern was often mounted on a horse for night time travel.... It was thought to be the first generation of 'Saddle-Light-Navigation'.
- Should Ryan Reynolds star as Gatsby in The Great Gatsby reboot? I mean he has already been green lantern AND deadpool.
- For Halloween, our daughter is dressing up as joke telling jack-o'-lantern. She's our little pun-kin.
- A pumpkin says to a jack-o'-lantern "All we ever do is sit around on the stoop. Don't you want to mix it up, try something different?" The jack-o'-lantern says "I don't have the guts."
- The studio is thinking of producing a remake for Green Lantern They are waiting for the green light
- I lit my lantern with a match but now I'm too tired to carry it I should have used a lighter flame
- In honor of both Halloween and the release of documents on JFK's assassination I decided to carve a pumpkin that looks like JFK's widow. It's my first Jackie O'Lantern.
- BATMAN: These new iPhones are great! WONDER WOMAN: I know right, it's so easy to stay in touch with each other.
FLASH: How come I didn't get one?
GREEN LANTERN: Sorry man, Apple doesn't run Flash. - What do you get when you cut a Jack O' Lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin pi.
Happy Pi Day, y'all!
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Lantern One Liners
Which lantern one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lantern? I can suggest the ones about lighthouse and candlelight.
- What do you get when you divide 355 jack o'lanterns by 113 jack o'lanterns? pumpkin Pi.
- Green Lantern That name has a nice ring to it
- What's orange, empty headed, and tries to be scary? A jack o'lantern!
- Why didn't the jack-o-lantern cross the road? He had no guts.
- What do you call a lamp that's an intern? A lantern!
- what is a fat Jack o lantern called A plumpkin
- 'Deadpool' sequel already greenlit... ...the studio used their Green Lantern
- I like my lantern like I like my metal Core
- What do you and a red lantern ring have in common? You're at the end of the spectrum
- What do you say to a pregnant jack-o-lantern? o**...! You're glowing!
- **Infinity War spoiler** Superman kills Batman while Green Lantern looks on…
- what do you call a young, green Pumpkin for Halloween? A p**... e-Jack-O'-Lantern.
- What do you call a pumpkin that harasses people? A Jack-a**... O'Lantern
- What do you call a v**... pumpkin? A j**...-lantern.
Jack Lantern Jokes
Here is a list of funny jack lantern jokes and even better jack lantern puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- So my roommate jack went to the hospital last night... ... he was trying to do a Halloween joke but he slipped... and so did the lantern he was sitting on...
Green Lantern Jokes
Here is a list of funny green lantern jokes and even better green lantern puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you get if you breed a Green Lantern, a car and an atheist? Willing suspension of disbelief
- Tom Cruise might play Green Lantern. He'll probably insist on actually flying through space.
The Funniest Lantern Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh
What funny jokes about lantern you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean magic lamp jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lantern pranks.
2 bats were sitting on a bench in the middle of the night and one turns to the other and says - I'm really thirsty for some blood
So he goes off into the darkness.
After a while he comes back with its mouth full of blood and the second bat says "wow where did you get so much blood in the middle of the night?!"
Then the first bat says "do you see that lantern pole there?"
"Yes" responds the second bat
"Well I didn't" says the first bat.
I hadn't seen it posted here yet so I gave it a try.
a blonde is standing on the street buzzing at a lantern
a blonde police officer sees her buzzing the lantern, stops and asks: what are you doing, madam? The blonde answers: I'm trying to buzz my friend down but he's not answering. Blonde police officer points confused at the light of the lantern and replies: but he must be home since the lights are on!
(my mom told me this in German the other day, I hope my translation makes sense! open for corrections!)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A recently divorced woman finds a magic lantern. The genie offers her 3 wishes but with one condition.
Every wish that is granted her will be doubled to her Ex-husband.
So to test the genie she makes her first wish for $10 million. Sure enough her Ex received $20 million.
Her 2nd wish is for 2 supermodel consorts. Again her Ex is graced with 4 supermodels to fulfill his every desire.
For her final wish she asks the genie for a MMA fighter to beat her half to death!
An engineer on trial.
At the trial, the engineer insisted that he had given the driver ample warning by waving his lantern back and forth for nearly a minute. He even stood and convincingly demonstrated how he'd done it. The court believed his story, and the suit was dismissed.
"Congratulations," the lawyer said to the engineer when it was over. "You did superbly under cross-examination."
"Thanks," he said, "but the plaintiff's lawyer sure had me worried."
"How's that?" the lawyer asked.
"I was afraid he was going to ask if the lantern was lit!"
An uncertain person rubs a lantern and the genie appears and says "Get on with it."
"uh, I wish I knew how this worked."
"ok, I wish I hadn't wasted that wish."
"uh I wish I knew how this worked."
...
A farmer and his wife live isolated from other people, but the wife is pregnant and now the farmer has to call the town's doctor
Unfortunately the farm has no electricity so the doctor asks the farmer to light up the room with a lantern so he could see what's he's doing. One after another, 5 children are born. The farmer tries to run away, terrified.
-Come back here, I think there's another baby, but I can't see anything in here! says the doctor.
To which the farmer says:
-No doctor I'm outta here, I think the lantern attracts them!
*Enjoy a poorly translated Romanian joke
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A genie and an idiot
Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says: 'I'm lonely. I wish my friends were back here.'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If the Green Lantern is weak to the color yellow, if you p**... on him, would he become weak?
Either way, he'd be p**...
A nerd was walking home from the comic book store and tripped over a green lantern.
He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. "Three wishes, kid. You know the drill." The kid thought about it for only a second and said, "I want to be just like Batman." "No sweat," said the genie, "I'll be back for your two other wishes after I'm finished with your parents."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Welshman, Scot and Englishman
A Welshman, Scot and Englishman are walking when they come across a lantern and a genie pops out and grants them one wish each.
The Scot says: I am a sheep herder, like my dad before me. I want my country to be full of lovely sheep farms. Whoosh, and so it was.
The Englishman was amazed and says: I want a wall around England to keep those d**... Scots and Welsh out. Bang, there was a wall around England.
The Welshman says: Tell me more about this wall.
The genie says: It's 200 feet high, 100 feet thick, it goes all around England, and nothing can get in or out.
The Welshman says: Fill it with water.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An elderly prospector was mining for gold with his daughter, Anne.
He chipped away and mined the ore while she maintained the camp and washed and organized anything he found.
They had a system where any time she found something special, she would light a special red lantern to let him know.
She wasn't very good at identifying gold though, and often misinterpreted the shine from mica or quartz as the gleam of a gold nugget.
After the third time in a day that she lit up the red lantern to falsely notify him of a newly found nugget, he grew angry and yelled at her.
"God d**...! They're rocks, Anne. You don't have to put on the red light!"
