Language Teacher Jokes

25 language teacher jokes and hilarious language teacher puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about language teacher that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Language Teacher Short Jokes

Short language teacher jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The language teacher humour may include short english teacher jokes also.

  1. My grandad used to say "If it wasn't for me, you'd all be speaking German right now" Lovely man, terribly bad foreign language teacher. No idea why the school hired him.
  2. My dad would swear and then say, "Excuse my French" One day the teacher asked if anyone could speak a foreign language and I raised my hand.
  3. No one really expected my world language teacher to be so good at writing with a felt pen... No one expects the Spanish Ink -precision
  4. I used to go out with an English-language teacher, but she dumped me. She didn't like my improper use of the colon.
  5. I got a job being a teacher of foreign languages... Everytime I taught students the alphabet I kept omitting a letter. They don't know why.
  6. A boy is taking an exam to complete his language class. He arrives at the last question, only to realise he can't answer it. The teacher asks him what the matter is. He replies, "I can't Finnish."

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Language Teacher One Liners

Which language teacher one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with language teacher? I can suggest the ones about writing teacher and spanish teacher.

  1. My Language arts teacher was talking about pedophillia
  2. What language do math teachers speak? Sin language!
  3. Our new English Language teacher, Miss Pelling Taught us about irony today

Language Teacher Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about language teacher you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean school teacher jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make language teacher pranks.

An English teacher is giving a lesson on double negatives

He says to the class: "One of the curious conventions of the English language is that two negatives always result in a positive statement; however, never do two positives result in a negative one."
A voice from the back of the room says, "Yeah right".

Little Johnny was learning about punctuation

The teacher was explaining all of the different punctuation marks.
She listed the comma, question mark and when she got to period; Little Johnny raised his hand.
He asked: Why are periods so important?
The teacher responded: Well, they are a fundamental part of the written language; why do you ask?
Little Johnny replied: Yesterday my sister said she missed a period and my Mom fainted, my Dad started yelling and the next door neighbor shot himself

My Aunt Jill was an English teacher who taught me so many important lessons like....

Always use very precise language or you could be misunderstood.
I remember it vividly because we were at their farm and I was helping my uncle j**... a horse as she was telling me that.

In a classroom

The teacher is talking to little girls about Johnny's awful language 'Remember girls, when Johnny starts swearing just go out of our classroom.' Johnny came in and sat down. The teacher asked what are the buildings under construction in town. Kids say many things but then Little Johnny says 'They are building a w**... nearby'. And so every girl got up and started heading for the door. Then Johnny shouted 'Wait up w**..., it will be done in a month, what's the rush'

Make a sentence with Defence, Defeat and Detail...

Little Johnny was back from his summer break where he'd toured the Italian countryside.
The language teacher wanting to spur grey matter in the classroom asked the children to make a sentence with defence, defeat and detail.
After a few minutes of silence Little Johnny raised his hand and hesitantly spoke:
"Well... de horse jumped over de fence and de feet got tangled in de tail..."

A girl was studying French, and doing very well at it.

One day, she asked her teacher Do you know anything about Spanish? For I know everything there is to know about French, and I need a new language.
The teacher responded What a sudden change! And why would you possibly ask me, your French teacher? This was completely unexpected!
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

Our English teacher said that in English, using double negatives implies a positive, and in other languages, using double negatives implies a negative. But, in no languages does a double positive imply a negative.

I said, "Yeah, right."

An English teacher to his class...

"In some languages a double negative is interpreted as a negative while in some others it is interpreted as a positive. However a double positive is universally interpreted as a positive"
A voice from the back of the class replied "Yeah right"

A school teacher invited a Native American to give a presentation to his students about their culture

After discussing history, traditions and lifestyle, the conversation turned to language.
"One of the interesting things about our language," he said, "is that there are no cuss words."
"But then what do you say if you are hammering a nail and accidentally hit your finger?" asked a student.
"In that case," he replied, "we use your language."

Double Negative

The language teacher said, "In English, a double negative is a positive. But in some languages like Russian, a double negative is still a negative. But there no languages in which a double positive is a negative."
Robbie, unconvinced said, "Yeah, right."

Johnny goes to school on the first day of second grade

Johnny goes to school on the first day of second grade. The teacher asks each student to say their name.
Johnny replies, "my name is Johnny Fuckhour".
The teacher immediately scolds him and tells him that such language will not be tolerated.
"But that's my name," he protests. "If you don't believe me, go ask my brother in the fifth grade."
So the teacher marches him over to the fifth grade classroom and asks the fifth grade teacher, "do you have a Fuckhour in here?"
One of the students replies, "oh, no, we don't even have a nap time."

My brother told me this. Feels like it belongs here.

A grammar teacher was lecturing his students on double negatives. He explains, "In some languages, take English, for example, if you were to use double negatives, it is the equivalent of a positive. It isn't considered proper grammar for that reason."
A student raises his hand. "Like in Algebra?"
"Exactly. However, in other languages, like Russian, a double negative is still a negative. For those of you who are curious, there is no language where a double positive equals a negative."
A student piped up in the back. "Yeah, right."

Computer gender joke

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.
"House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa."
"Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz."
A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.
The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computadora"), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is impossible to understand for everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval;
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
The women's group concluded that computers should be masculine ("el computador"), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem;
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer you could have gotten a better model.