Language Jokes
140 language jokes and hilarious language puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about language that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a laugh? Learn all types of language jokes in this article, ranging from language arts to language barrier jokes. Even language nerds can appreciate these tongue-in-cheek puns and funny misunderstandings. We'll explore the silliness that comes with learning a new lingo and vocabulary and share some of the best language jokes out there!
Quick Jump To
Funniest Language Short Jokes
Short language jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The language humour may include short grammar jokes also.
- TIL "sugar" is the only word in the English language where "su-" makes a "sh" sound. At least, I'm pretty sure...
FP - I got to a party and the host said, Make yourself at home , so I got comfortable. Turns out English was not his first language, and he was asking me to leave.
- If someone who speaks three languages is called trilingual and someone who speaks two languages is called bilingual, what do you call someone who speaks only one language? American
- It's incredible how many French words are now used in the English language There's 'Hors D'oeuvres' for starters.
- There's 26 letters in the English language, combined to make millions of words, which are used to make infinite sentences for any event imaginable. . . Yet I see the same jokes posted every day.
- My son is walking through the house, shouting Duck! Duck! Duck! I told him to stop using fowl language.
- My dad would swear and then say, "Excuse my French" One day the teacher asked if anyone could speak a foreign language and I raised my hand.
- What is the longest word in the Spanish language? Goooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllll
- My Russian wife wouldn't even teach me how to say hello in her language She says it's private.
- The shortest sentence in the English language is "go." What is the longest? Life without parole
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Language One Liners
Which language one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with language? I can suggest the ones about speech and dictionary.
- I think it's pretty cool how the Chinese made a language entirely out of tattoos.
- I know several jokes in sign language I guarantee nobody has ever heard them.
- What language is most commonly used in programming? Profanity.
- What is the least spoken language in the world? Sign language.
- I met my wife in an African Languages class. We just clicked.
- What language does the post office at Hogwarts speak? Parceltongue
- What are the unspoken rules of sign language? All of them
- The three most well known languages in India are English, Hindi, and... JavaScript
- Sign language is pretty handy.
- Not to brag, but I'm fluent in 10 languages. English and Binary.
- What's the cleanest language in the world? Polish
- What language do Asian Karen's speak? Demandarin.
- The shortest sentence in the English language is also the longest I do
- What language does your stomach speak? hungarian!
- Math is like another language 2n+2n is 4n to me
English Language Jokes
Here is a list of funny english language jokes and even better english language puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My favourite word in the English language is frequently I try to use it as often as possible
- After going up to her apartment, my date told me, Make yourself at home. Turns out that English is not her first language, and she was asking me to leave.
- The creative writing students all shifted a little uneasy as they realized they had clearly picked the wrong professor
- English is not first language want to try joke from my country Why did snoop dog not have a pretty green American yard?
Because he don't love no hose. - What's the only word in the English language that is both a word and a sentence? Marriage.
- What is the most awesomely amazing word in the English language? Anticlimactic
- A Chinese man, who was less than proficient in the English language files for divorce. The judge asks what is the reason? He replies " me no come, she no come, but baby come, how come?".
- (Real Story) All of a sudden, my Steam language was set to Russian. I was changing it back to English, when my hand slipped. But it's okay, now. I have everything in Czech.
- Sorry for the spelling/grammer mistakes My first language is English.
- Why is English considered the easiest language to learn? Because even the Americans are decent at it!
Sign Language Jokes
Here is a list of funny sign language jokes and even better sign language puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I think my family is finally catching on to me telling jokes in sign language... They've been standing further away, so I can't hit them with the punch line anymore.
- Is it possible to stutter in sign language? Yes, it's called Parkinson's
- My sign language comedy show got cancelled today Apparently nobody there had heard of me
- I always get sad when I watch videos of gorillas using sign language to ask for food. It's a shame there are so many deaf gorillas.
- Why can't pirates use sign language? Because the hook makes everything sound like a question.
- I learned sign language It's very handy!
- I signed up for German language lessons recently. They replied, and I am kind of worried now. They said, We have ways of making you talk.
- How do billboards communicate? Sign language
- what do you call a deer with no eyes in sign language? Anything you like. It can't see you.
- I recently learned sign language So I can tell jokes people has never heard
Language Learning Jokes
Here is a list of funny language learning jokes and even better language learning puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What does every frenchmen learn in first grade of school? (sorry France) How to surrender in 6 different languages.
- The average person has s**... 90 times a year. Man this going to be an epic new years eve!
- Why Is C++ Such A Rough Language To Learn? Because it has a bunch of std's...
- A dog says to the other, Woof! The other replies, Moo! The first dog is perplexed. He says, Moo? Why did you say, 'Moo?'
The other dog answers, I'm trying to learn a foreign language. - I'm learning sign language… Not sure if I'm any good at it, but I never heard any complaint.
- My parents asked my why i was suddenly learning a foreign language? I told them, "No one expects the Spanish Inquisition "
- I told my mate i was on my way to a filipino lesson He said "Hey i've been wanting to learn a new language, can i tagalog?"
- Dr. Doolittle learned to talk the language of thousands of animals. But not the language of ducks..
They were just too Fowl. - Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled to dozens of countries and learned to speak several languages? He was a man of many cultures.
- Scientists have discovered the most important sentence to learn first in ANY language. My friend will pay.
Man Language Jokes
Here is a list of funny man language jokes and even better man language puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- TIL the word Manhattan means island of many hills in the language of the original inhabitants and the hills were leveled as the city evolved. I guess you could say it was man-flattened.
- Learning English So a man and his wife decided to speak in English at home to improve their language skills.
Her: Hunney, I'm going to rest a little bit.
Him: Sure hunney, rest in peace. - A deaf woman and a blind man are sitting on the subway The deaf woman says to the guy: *sign language*
And the blind man says: - A man is at a job interview The interviewer goes over his cv and says: "I see that you speak 14 languages, including Esperanto?"
"Yeah", the man says, "I used to live there for a while." - Oh What did the Frenchman say to the Spanish man?
How am i supposed to know i dont speak either of the languages. - I once met a man who could make great puns in 10 languages. I called him a cunning linguist.
Language Arts Jokes
Here is a list of funny language arts jokes and even better language arts puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a tome of mystical language arts? A grammar-y!
- In what class do you learn to write calligraphy? Language arts
Gather Around for Fun Language Jokes and Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about language you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean translation jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make language pranks.
A linguistics professor is lecturing his class
A linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative."
A voice from the back of the room retorted, "Yeah, right."
A british Jew is waiting in line to be knighted by the Queen.
He is to kneel in front of her and recite a sentence in Latin when she taps him on the shoulders with her sword. However, when his turn comes, he panics in the excitement of the moment and forgets the Latin. Then, thinking fast, he recites the only other sentence he knows in a foreign language, which he remembers from the Passover seder:
"Ma nishtanah halailah hazeh mikol haleilot."
Puzzled, Her Majesty turns to her advisor and whispers, "Why is this knight different from all other knights?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Don't worry if your phone corrects f**...' to 'duck'
You're still using fowl language.
A British Jew is to be knighted by the King.
He is to kneel in front of him and recite a sentence in Latin when he taps him on the shoulders with his sword. However, when his turn comes, he panics in the excitement of the moment and forgets the Latin. Then, thinking fast, he recites the only other sentence he knows in a foreign language, which he remembers from the Passover seder:
"Ma nishtanah halailah hazeh mikol haleilot."
Puzzled, His Majesty turns to his advisor and whispers, "Why is this knight different from all other knights?"
Friend who lives in Russia told me this joke
(English isn't my first language, sorry if the translation isn't the best)
The phone rings at 10 Downing Street.
- Hello, mister Putin would like to speak with Theresa May.
- I'm afraid she's currently sleeping.
- Very well, if she wakes up please tell her that mister Putin would like to talk to her.
- Will do.
- Thank you. *hangs up*
- Wait. What do you mean "if"?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I got a h**... yesterday
I'm now officially a sign language interpreter
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A British man was talking to his friend about his views on Brexit...
"These b**... immigrants come over here. They're up to no good, right? I hate these b**... immigrants. They need to go back to where they came from."
His friend replies with "But why do you hate them so much?"
The British man replies, "I'll tell you why I hate them, I'll tell you why. It's because they're not even trying to be British. That's why. They don't even TRY to be British. They come here, and bring their own b**... culture. They bring their own food, spit their own b**... languages, try to take over the whole b**... place."
His friend replies with "Well, that sounds British to me"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My grandad used to say "If it wasn't for me, you'd all be speaking German right now"
Lovely man, terribly bad foreign language teacher. No idea why the school hired him.
I was with a deaf girl who knew sign language, we were watching that movie where Johnny Depp has blades for fingers. I couldn't remember what that character was called so I sign to her, What's that character's name?
Edward, says her hands.
This actually just happened...
*Wife: I wanna get into coding.
*Me: Oh, that sounds fun. You might even earn some
money on the side while you're at home. What language
did you wana code in ?
*Wife: English. Duh!
My grandpa's favorite joke
This works better in my native language, but I am going to do my best to try to translate it effectively.
At the end of a good day's work, an accountant goes home and announces proudly to his wife "Honey, I missed the bus today but I saved $2 by chasing after it all the way home! "
His wife fixes him with a look of pure contempt and says "You fool!! You could have saved $75 if you'd only chased after a cab."
If you speak two languages you're bilingual, if you speak four languages you're quadrilingual, if you speak one language...
you're American.
Hot dog
(Half of this joke is translated from another language so i don't know if it's as good as the original when told in English)
Two foreigners come to United States for the first time.
They have very little knowledge about U.S. culture,
So they stop at a fast food place.
One sees hot dog on the menu and is shocked.
He tells his friend " look they eat dogs in U.S."
Intrigued he says he will try it
When his order arrives, he turns to his friend and says:
With my luck guess which part of the dog i got.
I was chatting with my Finnish friend the other day...
I asked him where his favorite part of Finland was.
He said "Hyvä kysymys! I really like Rovaniemi for the Santa Claus Village!"
I asked him "Hyvä kysymys? What's that?"
All he said was "Good question!"
It's been a week and he still hasn't told me what it means.
(I'm learning Finnish, this joke has likely been done before with a different language, haven't seen it here yet)
edit: fingers added a letter, got it fixed
Jesus walks into a bar
The barman looks up and asks "We don't serve wine here"
Jesus looks at him quizzically and goes to look for a Spanish translator because he had just immigrated from Mexico and English was not his first language.
What language do squids speak?
Inklish.
*A joke my really high bf just made, we don't know if it's been said before but here it is anyway*
An English teacher is giving a lesson on double negatives
He says to the class: "One of the curious conventions of the English language is that two negatives always result in a positive statement; however, never do two positives result in a negative one."
A voice from the back of the room says, "Yeah right".
Two guys moving a futon to the 100th floor(this is a joke in my native language idk how good it can be translated)
Two guys moving a futon to the 100th floor.
At the 25th floor:
1st guy: T..th...
2nd guy: Tell me when we arrive
At the 50th floor:
1st guy:T..thi...
2nd guy: Tell me when we arrive we dont have time
At the 100th floor:
2nd guy: So what did u want to tell me?
1st guy:T..this is the wrong hotel
what do you call the situation when you speak two languages and start losing vocabulary in both of them?
Byelingual.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The other day my European friend ask me about our views on l**... in this country.
Apparently, "usually in HD" was not the answer she was looking for
P.S sorry english not my native language
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A neighbor's wife knocks on the door
She says "Your kids can't play with our children any more."
"Why?" the man asks, shocked.
"They keeping on calling the other kids gay, you should watch your language around them!"
The man replies "They couldn't have learned it from me, otherwise they would have been calling them faggots"
Politicians go on a vacation
Politicians go on a vacation by bus.
The bus driver gets distracted by the beautiful scenery and drives off a cliff next to a farm.
The following day the police question the farmer:
\- Did you not find any victims?
\- Actually, I did.
\- And where are they?
\- Well, I buried them.
\- Every politician died?!
\- Some of them said they didn't, but I don't believe a word of what they say anymore...
PS: English is my second language so apologies for mistakes.
I feel like my girlfriend and I don't speak the same language sometimes
I say we have a long distance relationship.
She says I have a restraining order.
Little Johnny was learning about punctuation
The teacher was explaining all of the different punctuation marks.
She listed the comma, question mark and when she got to period; Little Johnny raised his hand.
He asked: Why are periods so important?
The teacher responded: Well, they are a fundamental part of the written language; why do you ask?
Little Johnny replied: Yesterday my sister said she missed a period and my Mom fainted, my Dad started yelling and the next door neighbor shot himself
Bob was struggling in the bedroom because he couldn't last as long as his wife.
He thought that maybe if he learned some French it would help.
But it didn't.
Then he tried learning German.
That didn't help either.
He tried Spanish, Portuguese, even Sweedish. Nothing worked.
Finally, he gave up. "It doesn't matter what language I learn," he said to his wife. "They all have one thing in common."
"What's that?" She asked.
"D comes before V."
I have an Eastern European friend who fixes my language mistakes...
My personal spell Czech.
I try to tell this joke in english :]
There's a young boy, with no arms, nor legs called Lumpi.
Lumpi plays in front of his house in the sandbox, then a window opens on the 4th floor and Lumpi's mother yells at him "Lumpi time to eat!" and she throws down a rope.
As Lumpi sees the rope hanging out of his window, he starts to rob to the rope and bite's it! He trained hard to hold himself on the rope with his teeth. Lumpi is very hungry and starts to pull himself up only with his teeth. Lumpi pulls and pulls, he's on the 1st floor, the window opens and a young Lady smiles at him, Lumpi smiles back, then pulls again...and again, 2nd floor the window opens and an old man sees him and waves at him, Lumpi shakes his head to greet back, then he start's to pull himself up again. Lumpi, all sweaty and hungry now on the the 3rd floor, near his own window on the 4th floor. The window on the 3rd floor opens and a Lady sees him, then she says "Hi Lumpi! What are you going to eat now?" and Lumpi replies " Pizaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!...."
Sry for my bad english, I just tried to tell a joke in english that I know in my own language. :)
I recently bought a copy of Monty Python's Big Red Book, but was later dismayed to find that I'd purchased the Spanish language version...
Nobody expects the Spanish text edition.
It's really fascinating that I've been able to see language evolve over just a couple generations. For example, what they used to call a chesterfield we now call a couch, what they used to call a veranda we now call a porch, and what they used to call a joke we now call
a president.
Dave was struggling with his parrot that was constantly using bad language, so he sought help from the vet.
Every time the bird swears," said the vet, "Put it in the freezer for 15 seconds.
Dave decided to follow the advice, and after trying it for the first time, found the parrot shivering and apologetic when he took it out of the freezer.
The bird said, "I'm sorry for all the bad language I've been using."
Dave was very surprised by the sudden transformation of his foul-mouthed bird.
Then the parrot said, By the way, what did the chicken do?
Two nuns sare coming back from the market late at night
- "Sister Andrea, it's already dark and we are still quite fare from the covent"
- "Yes Sister Dulce and did you notice that a man is following us??"
- "Yes! and what do you think he wants ?"
- "logical, rapes us... what should we do??"
- "logical: we split way, you on the left me on the right"
The man starts following Sister Dulce. Sister Andrea arrives to the Covent, and is worried because Sister Dulce is not arrived yet. After 1 hour here she comes.
- "What happened??"
- "Well I started running and obviously as did the man"
- "and??"
- "Logical: he reached me.."
- "Oh dear god! And what did you do??"
- "Logical: I lifted my dress up"
- "And what did he do??"
- "Logical: He dropped his pants"
- "god.... and??"
- "Logical no? A nun with her dressed up runs faster than a man with his pants down"
ps: Sorry my english is not my first language :)
An elderly classical languages professor goes to Rome for a conference.
He hails a taxi as he leaves the airport, and the driver points to a sign saying "Tell driver your destination". The professor hesitates for a moment. He doesn't speak Italian, but doesn't want the driver to misunderstand his directions in English. Suddenly realizing that Italian is descended from Latin he says, "Adducere me ad Marriott deversorium"
The cab driver nods and puts the car in gear. As he into traffic he says, "Wow, you sure haven't been to Rome for a long time."
Two british men are sitting at a bus stop...
When a man, clearly not from their town, comes up towards them.
"Parlez-vous Français?" The man asks the two Brits.
Confused, they stare blankly at the foreigner.
"Hablan ustedes Español?" The man tries again - still no reaction from the two men.
Frustrated, the foreigner tries one more time.
"Sprechen sie Deutsch?"
but the two men at the bus stop still have no clue what he's saying, and the foreigner storms off in a huff.
A couple seconds later, one of the men sitting on the bench turns to the other and says, "We should probably learn a language."
The other man turns to him and says, "Why? He knew three, and it didn't do him any good!"
A person who knows three or more languages...
A person who knows three or more languages is called a "polyglot."
A person who knows two languages is called "bilingual."
What do you call a person who only knows one language?
"American."
My wife says I have a short attention spanish is a beautiful language isn't it?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My Aunt Jill was an English teacher who taught me so many important lessons like....
Always use very precise language or you could be misunderstood.
I remember it vividly because we were at their farm and I was helping my uncle j**... a horse as she was telling me that.
Why the different branches of the military can't work together:
The reason why the services don't get along? They don't speak the same language. For example, if you tell a soldier to "Secure the building." he's going to set up claymores and machine gun nests with interlocking fields of fire. If you tell a Marine to "Secure the building." he's going to pie every room with his rifle in his hands and his Ka-bar on his waist. If you tell a sailor to "Secure the building." he's going to lock all the doors and windows and put all the sensitive documents in a furnace. If you tell an airman to "Secure the building." he's going to sign a lease agreement with an option to purchase.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I can't believe the v**... language kids are using on Xbox Live.
Do they kiss my mother with that mouth?
Mujibar get a job in India
Mujibar was trying to get a job in India .
The Personnel Manager said, 'Mujibar, you have to show you are proficient in the English language. Please make a sentence using the words: Yellow, Pink, and Green.'
Mujibar responded, 'The telephone goes green, green, I pink it up, and say, Yellow! This is Mujibar.'
Mujibar now works at a call center. No doubt you have spoken to him.
A man walks into a buffet...
He puts a sausage on his plate, and his German friend says "now you're speaking my language!".
Then, he adds a slice of pizza to his plate, and his Italian friend says "now you're speaking my language!".
Then, the man has an incredible urge to sneeze. He reaches for a napkin and raises it up, and his French friend says "now you're speaking my language!".
HOW DO PIGS TALK?
SWINE LANGUAGE.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In a classroom
The teacher is talking to little girls about Johnny's awful language 'Remember girls, when Johnny starts swearing just go out of our classroom.' Johnny came in and sat down. The teacher asked what are the buildings under construction in town. Kids say many things but then Little Johnny says 'They are building a w**... nearby'. And so every girl got up and started heading for the door. Then Johnny shouted 'Wait up w**..., it will be done in a month, what's the rush'
Today's joke from Russian-language Internet
"You know, they've built a George Orwell memorial in Russia!"
'What? Where?"
"Pretty much everywhere."
I was making chicken noises in class
Got a detention for using fowl language
My Spanish-speaking students got a kick out of this one.
Q: What do you call a person who speaks 3 languages?
A: (Try to elicit responses..) Tri-Lingual.
Q: What do you call a person who speaks two languages?
A: (Many of them know this one) Bi-Lingual.
Q: What do you call a person who speaks one language?
A: An American!
This is an Australian Joke so I'm going to post it in their native language
˙,,¡ǝuo punoɟ I 'ǝʇɐɯ ɥɐN,, 'sǝᴉldǝɹ ʎnƃ ǝɥʇ ,,¿ƃuoɥʇ ɐ ǝsol noʎ pᴉp ¿ǝʇɐɯ pǝuǝddɐɥ ʇɐɥM,, ɯᴉɥ sʞsɐ uoɹʇɐd ǝuO ˙(dolɟ dᴉlɟ) ƃuoɥʇ ǝuo ƃuᴉɹɐǝʍ ʇɥƃᴉu ɹǝɥʇo ǝɥʇ ɹɐq ǝɥʇ oʇuᴉ sʞlɐʍ ǝᴉssn∀ u∀
Wishing Well
English is second language.... excuse grammar
My penny went whoosh whoosh down the wishing well
I was happy. Everyone around screaming. I threw quarter down, made wish, and now everyone mad about my wife penny
Wife asks the husband, who's the fool - you or me?
The husband calmly replies, while sipping his coffee, "honey, everyone knows you are way too smart to marry a fool"
Edit - I swear the joke was hilarious in the language I translated it from.
The fly and me
I'm translating this joke from my native language so I'm hoping its just as funny in English.
The other night I saw a mosquito in my room. I kept trying to catch it till I caught it in a corner, ready to end its life, when all of a sudden it turned around and said "Wait! Surely you won't kill your own family!", I stopped in my tracks and stared at the mosquito thinking what it meant. Then I realised the mosquito wasn't lying... My blood was coursing through its veins
Why did ChatGPT go to the gym? To work on its language skills.
What programming language do they use in Star Wars?
JawaScript
