Land Swallower Jokes

5 land swallower jokes and hilarious land swallower puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about land swallower that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Silly & Ridiculous Land Swallower Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter

What is a good land swallower joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

A bird lands in a bush between two others..

He turns to one on his right and asks s**... ? The other bird replies angrily No spit! . He looks at the bird to his left Hmm thorny subject .

What do you call Kiribati islands after the ocean swallows them?

The Kiribati was-lands

On the top floor of a hotel, there was a panorama bar...

...and two men were each enjoying a quiet drink.
One of them asks the other: "What are you drinking?" The other replies: "Scotch, single malt. It's pretty good."
Then the first man says "You should really try out this bourbon right here - two shots of these, and you can do anything." The second man wasn't convinced, so it was up to the first man to prove it.
He swallowed his drink, went over to the window and jumped out fell all the way to the ground, landed and jumped back up again. "There. Anything, I tell you."
So the other man immediately ordered a double of the first man's bourbon, drank it in one go and jumped out the window where he fell to his death.
Then the bartender looked at the first man and said: "Clark Kent, you are one mean drunk."

Jesus and Moses and another guy go for a round of golf

So they all line up and Moses hits the ball first. It flies up and lands straight in the pond. Moses then walks to the pond and splits the water in half, chips his ball onto the green and pots it in for par.
Jesus then steps up, again hits it into the pond. He walks on the pond finds the ball chips it up onto the green for par.
This other guy looks at these two for a moment before stepping up to hit the ball. The ball flies up in the air before again landing in the pond. Amazingly a fish swallows the ball, just as it does this a big bird grabs it out of the pond, the fish drops the ball midair and it rolls into the hole for a hole in one!
Moses then turns to Jesus and goes "i hate playing with your dad"

Jesus, Moses, and an old man go golfing.

The first one to tee off is Moses. He smashes the ball and it is heading right for the water hazard before the green. Moses raises his club, the water parts, and the ball makes it to the green. Jesus gets up to swing, cranks it out, and it is headed for the water hazard. Jesus closes his eyes and prays. The ball skips across the water and lands on the green two feet from the hole. The old man's turn comes and he drives the ball. The ball looks like it is going to drop directly into the water. A fish jumps from the water hazard swallowing the ball, as an eagle drops from the sky, grabbing the fish. As the eagle flies over the green, a bolt of lightning strikes the eagle, making it drop the fish. As the fish hits the green, it spits out the ball and the ball falls into the hole, making a hole in one. Jesus looks at Moses and says, "I really think I'm leaving Dad at home next time!"

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