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Lance Jokes

60 lance jokes and hilarious lance puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lance that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

From Lancelots and Lance Corporals to Rods and practical jokes, explore the many lance jokes that can bring a smile to your face! Our expansive collection of lance jokes featuring Roger, Lancelot and more will have you laughing out loud.

Funniest Lance Short Jokes

Short lance jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lance humour may include short lily jokes also.

  1. My wife is pregnant with a boy and i want to call him Lance My wife said its such an uncommon name.
    So i told her back in medievil days people were called Lance a lot
  2. I wanted to name my son Lance, but my wife said it was to uncommon... ... I told her that in medieval days, people were named Lance a lot.
  3. Nowadays, you don't run into many guys named Lance. But in the Middle Ages, people used to be named Lancelot.
  4. Lance is not a common name nowadays. But in medieval times, people called their sons Lance a lot.
  5. What did the medieval knight say when he got caught doping? I was just getting my Lance Armstrong.
  6. I may not have as many Oscars as Leo anymore but... I've still got as many Tour De France wins as Lance Armstrong.
  7. Lance Armstrong flew to NY yesterday to fight the
    allegations of doping.
    ... would have been more convincing if he'd taken a plane, though.
  8. Lance It isnt a common name anymore, but in medieval times, people were named Lance a lot.
  9. Dope, or no dope, Lance Armstrong was still a great athlete. Winning the tour is no easy feat. Even with the drugs, he worked his ball off to go to where he is today!
  10. I met Lance Armstrong after a party Me: So, Lance, how was the party?
    Lance (Pensively glancing at the whisky): I had a ball.

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Lance One Liners

Which lance one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lance? I can suggest the ones about ledge and serge.

  1. What do the Patriots and Lance Armstrong have in common? They only have one good ball.
  2. Does Lance Armstrong enjoy cycling? Of course he does! He has a ball!
  3. Lance is an uncommon name nowadays. But in medieval times people were named Lance a lot.
  4. If you want to lose weight, start the Lance Armstrong diet Just have one nut
  5. I bumped into my rival jousting opponent. We exchanged lances.
  6. Did you hear Lance Armstrong lied The ball of some people
  7. What happened after Lance Armstrong was caught doping? He took his ball and went home.
  8. What brand of pen does Lance Armstrong use? Uni-ball
  9. What do you call an ambulance with loads of steroids in it? Ambu-Lance Armstrong
  10. Why was Lance Armstrong in so many commercials? Because he was good at Peddling things.
  11. Lance Armstrong finally admitted to doping... ...at least he had the ball to admit it.
  12. What do you call a guy who checks his blood sugar frequently? Sir Lance A. Lot
  13. What pen company did Lance Armstrong buy up stock in?? Uniball
  14. I miss having Lance Armstrong at the Olympics He was dope.
  15. Have you guys had the new Lance Armstrong Trail Mix? There's only one nut in the bag.

Lance joke, Have you guys had the new Lance Armstrong Trail Mix?

Cheerful Lance Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!

What funny jokes about lance you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean lodge jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lance pranks.

Funny Lance Armstrong Joke

I just heard that Lance Armstrong got his medals taken away from him for using drugs.. This is crazy because, when I do drugs.. I can't even find my bike.

Did you hear about Lance Armstrong having a t**...?

He was killing two birds with one stone

How many tries did it take to find out if Lance Armstrong was ticklish?

One testtickle

I don't really care for the New England Patriots, but

Lance Armstrong used a deflated ball for years and no one said anything.

Lance Armstrong got laid last night.

He totally went ball deep.

Tiger, Lance and Tom walk into a cold bar...

"Heaters," the bartender cries in frustration, "I told him to send me heaters!"

New Year's Eve probably s**... for Lance Armstrong...

He can't enjoy watching the ball drop.

what do jeb bush and lance arm strong have in common?

everyone was disappointed with their last speeches and no one was disappointed when they dropped out of the race

Lance Armstrong

I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong. Especially after what he achieved, winning 7 Tour de France races while on drugs. When I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my bike

A woman's three daughters are going out on dates...

"What are your date plans?", the mother asks the daughters.
"I'm going out with Pete; we are going to eat" says the first daughter.
"Great! have fun" says the mom
"I'm going with Lance. We are going to dance" says the second daughter.
"Have a ball!" says the mother
"I'm going out with Chuck" says the third daughter
"NO YOU'RE NOT" yells the mother

A man fighting a war finds an ancient lance capable of healing wounds rather than creating them.

He names the weapon "Ambu-lance"

Why such hate on Lance Armstrong?

I think his riding style is pretty dope.

My buddy was into medieval things, so I asked if he had ever been poked by a lance,

He said "no but I was once lightly caressed by a Stephen"

A father and his three daughters...

are sitting at home on a Saturday evening.
There is a knock at the door. The father answers to a young man.
Hi, my name is Lance, I'm here for Nance. We're going to the dance.
Nance left with Lance.
15 minutes later, another young man knocks at the door.
Hi, my name Joe and I'm here for Flo. We're going to watch the show.
Flo left with Joe
A third young man arrives.
Hi, my name is Chuck- the father shot Chuck

Lancelot and Galahad walk into a Travelodge.

Lancelot says, "We'd like a room for two knights, please."

Since everyone knows he cheated, Lance Armstrong will only drink at home now.

He just can't handlebars anymore.

Where do you catch a Lance Bass?

In a Timber Lake!

Lance Armstrong decided to fly to France to fight against the doping allegations against him.

It would have been more convincing if he had taken a plane.

What type of pen does Lance Armstrong use?

A Uniball

Fun with rhymes.

If plants wore pants would plants try to dance? If plants tried to dance would plants have a chance if plants wore pants and you took a glance? If plants wore pants would they joust with a lance? If plants had a lance would the blow hit or glance? If plants were advanced and wore pants and danced they would be firmly rooted in their anti vegan stance.
Btw I have way too much time on my hands.

I think Lance is a good name for my new child

But people don't name their kids Lance-alot these days

I wish everyone would lay off Lance Armstrong. What an amazing achievement to recover from testicular cancer and win the tour de France 7 consecutive times. I don't care he used drugs....

when I was on drugs I couldn't even find my bike.

Lance joke, Nowadays, you don't run into many guys named Lance.

jokes about lance