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Lamppost Jokes

9 lamppost jokes and hilarious lamppost puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lamppost that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Delightful Fun Lamppost Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What is a good lamppost joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

Terrifying Story

A guy in a taxi wanted to speak to the driver so he leaned forward and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, jumped up in the air and yanked the wheel over. The car mounted the curb, demolished a lamppost and came to a stop inches from a shop window. The startled passenger said "I didn't mean to frighten you, just wanted to ask you something." Taxi driver says "Not your fault Sir. It's my first day as a cab driver, I've been driving a hearse for the past 25 years".

Three hawks had a hunting contest

The first one went and came back with blood on its beak. They asked him what happened. He said "Do you see that tree over there?". They said "yeah". He said "I hunted a rabbit near it".
The second one went and came back with even more blood on its beak. They asked him what happened. He said "Do you see that rock over there?". They said "yeah". He said "I hunted a deer near it".
The third one went and came back with blood all over him. They asked him what happened. He said "Do you see that lamppost over there?". They said "yeah". He said "I didn't."

Two guys are walking down the street

One of them sees a "For Sale" sign hanging on a lamppost, and starts knocking on it.
The other one says, "What are you doing?"
"I wanna buy it so I need to see how much the owner wants for it, but he won't open up."
"Weird. The lights are on."

Two vampires...

Two vampires are sitting on a bench. On a given moment, one of them says "I gotta go! Time to get some blood!"
Only 30 seconds later he's back with blood hanging all over his lips and teeth so his friend asks "That was fast! What'd you do?"
"Well, do you see that lamppost over there?"
"Yes...?"
"I didn't!"

What do you call a sheep tied to lamppost in Wales?

A leisure centre.

What do you call a lamppost in Niger?

Progress.

I robbed a lamppost with words printed on it.

It's ok, I didn't get in trouble though.
You don't get karma from text posts.

What did the one lamppost say to the other?

Let's go out together !

how do you kill a blonde with only one arm that climbed a lamppost?

You wave to her.

Lamppost joke, how do you kill a blonde with only one arm that climbed a lamppost?

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Lamppost joke, how do you kill a blonde with only one arm that climbed a lamppost?

Lamppost joke, how do you kill a blonde with only one arm that climbed a lamppost?