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Lame Christmas Jokes

4 lame christmas jokes and hilarious lame christmas puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lame christmas that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Uproarious Lame Christmas Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time

What is a good lame christmas joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

My wife's inappropriate Christmas dinner joke

Last night My wife and I were having Christmas dinner with her parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles, and a German neighbor who is a widow. We were talking about messing up while cooking meals and I mentioned the first time I cooked a turkey I cooked it upside down. The neighbor was incredulous that I could make such a mistake and asked how I could possibly do this when the breast would be round and make it difficult to get the turkey to not roll.
My lame joke:
>"Maybe I just like flat breasted turkeys."
Wife looks down at her chest:
>"Well now I feel self-conscious... Wait, is that why you always turn me face down?"
Everybody starts roaring with laughter and her dad turned bright red.

Why is the stranger things Christmas special going to be lame?

Noel

"Why can't a Christmas tree walk?

"Because it **doesn't have legs**."
"Ugh, that's so **lame**."

During the holiday season, a man is aimlessly drifting around a shopping center, wondering what to get his wife for Christmas.

Wandering into a pet store, he asks the shop assistant, "Hey, buddy, you got anything with a Christmas-type theme in here?"

"Well, there is Chet, the parrot," the assistant replies.

Chet looks like any normal parrot, nothing special, so the guy asks, "What's so Christmassy about him?"

"Well, he can sing Christmas carols," says the assistant.

"Really?"

"Yup," says the assistant. "Lemme show ya. See, all ya gotta do is light a match and hold it under his left foot, like so, and Chet'll go..."

"Awrrk! Frosty the Snowman was a jolly happy soul..." Chet sings.

"Wow, that's amazing! Does he do any more?"

"Sure does! Now, if you hold the match under his right foot instead, he'll go..."

"Awrrk! Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, had a very shiny nose..." Chet sings.

Well, now the guy is really impressed, but he has to ask, "Does Chet know any more carols?"

"Oh, sure, he knows one more! See, if you hold the match BETWEEN his two feet, he goes..."

"Awrrk! Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire..."

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