Lama Jokes
67 lama jokes and hilarious lama puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lama that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Lama Short Jokes
Short lama jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lama humour may include short mare jokes also.
- Dali Lama said that killing for religion is unthinkable. Thanks a lot, Dali Lama… Nobody ever listens to the Dali Lama.
- Jeffrey Epstein, Prince Andrew, and the Dalai Lama walk into a bar.... Bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve underage here."
- Okay, Lama spelled with one 'L' is a holy man in Tibet. With two 'L's, a llama is a South American pack animal. So, what is a three 'L' lama?
A big fire in Boston. - There is going to be a battle royal between religious leaders I would put $20 on the Dalai Lama if I were a Tibetan man.
- The Dalai Lama is working with peruvian engineers to move llamas more efficiently… It's the Dalai Lamas' llama dolly.
- Today is the Dali Lamas 82nd birthday but he couldn't decide if he wanted a vanilla, chocolate, or strawberry birthday cake... ...so he decided to be made one with everything.
- Did you hear doritos secured an endorsement deal with the Dalai Lama? He's going to be the Chip-monk
- If a one "L" Lama is a priest and a 2 "L" llama is an animal, what is a 3 "L" lama? A fire in Brooklyn
- The dalai lama walks into a pizza parlor... And he asks the cashier to make him one with everything.
- "Who's this wise guy?" "That's the Dalai Lama, he's kind of the spiritual leader of the Buddhist people."
"Well no wonder they chose him, he's got great advice!"
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Lama One Liners
Which lama one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lama? I can suggest the ones about elope and lion.
- The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop "Can you make me one with everything?"
- How does Dalai Lama send emails? With no attachments.
- Why did the Dalai Lama visit Las vegas? Tibet
- Why is the Dalai Lama suffering from a gambling addiction? Because he loves Tibet.
- Where in the supermarket would you find the Dalai Lama? Eggs-aisle.
- If Christians have the Daily Bread, what do Buddhists have? The Daily Lama
- What did the Dalai Lama say at the hotdog stand? Make me one with everything
- What do you call Dalai Lama eating cream? Malai Lama
(Malai is cream in Hindi) - What do the Russians call the Tibetan leader? Davai Lama
- What do lamas do when they're angry? Spitfire Mk.V
- Why did the lama get pulled aside by the TSA agent? He didn't alpaca his own bags.
- Who does the Dalai Lama dress as for Halloween? The Budd-aaaaah!
- Where do Tibetans get their news? The Daily Lama
- What does Jesus say when someone cuts his call? Hello.. Hello..? Lama sabachthani?!
- It's the Dalai Lama's birthday today Many happy returns!
Dalai Lama Jokes
Here is a list of funny dalai lama jokes and even better dalai lama puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop and asks... Can you make me on with everything?
*saw this one on YouTube and I have never been the same* - I don't see much point in meeting the new Dalai Lama If you've seen one you've seen 'em all
- What is it called when the Dalai Lama and all his friends get reincarnated as bed bugs at the Marriott? Grand Buddha-Pest Hotel
- The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop and says "can you make me one with everything?" After he received the pizza, he waited. "Where's my change?" "Ah, change comes from within."
- When my British friend says:"Why, is the Pope British?" I answer:"Why yes! Is the Dalai Lama Buddhist?"
- The Dalai Lama Was Just Arrested During interrogation he said "hey I just like Tibet"
- What did Obama say to Dalai Lama at last peace conference? "Don't worry I won't Bide'n"
- I am writing my first Buddhist musical, Hello Dalai… Lama .
- The Dalai Lama calls and orders a pizza... ...and says "Make me one with everything."
Comical Lama Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
What funny jokes about lama you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean lettuce jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lama pranks.
A Catholic bishop, a Hebrew rabbi and a Buddhist lama were sitting in a boat and fishing.
The rabbi looked at his watch and said: "Hey, it's lunch time, there's a restaurant on the shore, I'll go and eat there".
He stepped overboard and walked to the shore on the surface of the lake as if it was solid.
The lama watched him and said: "Yeah, I'll also go and have a lunch".
He also stepped overboard and walked on water to the shore.
The bishop sat in the boat confused. Finally he thought: "God, if a Hebrew and a Buddhist can walk on water then I also should be able to, just like Jesus did!"
He stepped overboard but just splashed into water.
The rabbi and the lama were watching him trying to climb back into the boat.
"Maybe we should've told him about those submerged poles and stones in the water," the rabbi said.
"What poles and stones?" the lama asked.
A Buddhist monk turns to the Dalai Lama for an answer.
A Buddhist monk was pondering what is the difference between a woman and a pearl, but couldn't figure it out. He gave up and decided to ask the Dalai Lama.
"Hmm, interensting question, young grasshopper - said the Dalai Lama. I do not know, but if you give me three days to meditate on this, I might have something for you"
Three days pass, the monk returns and gets this answer:
"The difference, dear son, is that a woman threads only from the front, while a pearl threads from the front *and* from behind."
The monk, a bit embarassed, says: But, Master, I know of women who thread both from the front and behind.
"Ah, said the Dalai Lama, those are not women, dear pupil, but pearls."
(Works better in Bulgarian, but it was worth a try. Translation suggestions welcome.)
[REQ] If this is allowed in this sub.
If not mods, please go ahead and delete.
Looking for a joke that involves a guy walking through an airport lounge and spots the Dalai Lama, a high level rabbi, an Iman, and some other religious leader.
I haven't the slightest recollection of even the gist of the joke. Was wondering if anybody's heard it? I did look online but got nothing.
Thanks for your time and courtesy.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does Lamar Odom have in common with a h**...?
Excellent ball control.
Why is Lamar Odom so much fun...?
Because, he's just dying to party.
If Lamar Odom would've died...
He would've went out with a bang.
Lamar Odom, after his recent troubles, decided to change careers and go into music..guess which band he joined?
The Strokes
Why couldn't the Dali Lama go out and play with his friends?
Because he was grounded.
Why did Lamar give money to Kobe?
Because Lamar Odom
Why did Lamar give money to the crack dealer?
Lamar Odom
Today I brought a lama to the capital of Pakistan.
People kept telling me the name of the capital for some weird reason.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Which Camelid animal rings the doorbell before bringing the margarine?
Rama Lama Ding d**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If you hasten the dalai lama...
You end up with a dilemma.
His holiness the Dalai Lama
Sent an email to Xi Jinping.
Xi Jinping opened the email and clicked on the attachment.
It was malware and the Party's computer system crashed.
Xi Jinping got on the phone and angrily demanded an answer from His Holiness.
"With attachment, comes suffering", said the Dalai Lama
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man is at the u**... when the Dalai Lama walks in and stands next to him.
The man is shocked. He then proceeds to ask, "Oh Your Holiness, may I ask of your wisdom?", the Dalai Lama replies, "Yes my son, you need to look down."
Taken aback, the man asks, "So you mean I need to look deep down into my being?", the Dalai Lama replies, "No my son, you need to look down because you're p**... on your shoes."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If a Lama with one L is a holy man in Tabet, and a 2 L's is a beast of burden, then what is a three L Lama?
A big fire in Boston
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
This is a message for His Holiness the Dalai Lama: "Please decide my fate in future existences based on my past life behavior."
It's a ***karma***\-seeking post.
