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Lady Golfer Jokes

8 lady golfer jokes and hilarious lady golfer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lady golfer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Giggle-Inducing Lady Golfer Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends

What is a good lady golfer joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

Lady golfer

A lady comes up to the clubhouse after playing playing a few holes and she is fuming
She says
"A bee stung me"
The man at the desk replies
"where did the bee sting you
The lady replies
"Between hole 1 and 2"
The man at the desk says
"That's your problem, your stance is too wide"

A lady golfer was stung by a bee.

So she went back to the clubhouse, and met with the club manager. The manager asked her "Where did you get stung?" The lady replied "Oh, between the first and second holes." The manager then said, "Well, obviously, your stance is too wide."

Peeing in the Flowers...

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk.
Noticing this, a policeman stopped her and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."
"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer."
"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"
"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a golf course. A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'Why not make the best of it?'"
So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes!'"
"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"
"Not everybody pays."

An amateur golfer playing in his first tournament

was delighted when a beautiful girl came up to him after the round and suggested he come over for a while. The fellow was a bit embarrassed to explain that he really couldn't stay all night but that he'd be glad to come over for a while. Twenty minutes later they were in he bed making love. When it was over, he got out of bed and started getting dressed.
"Hey," called the girl from beneath the covers, "where do you think you're going? Arnold Palmer wouldn't leave so early."
At that he the golfer stripped off his clothes and jumped on top of her. After they'd made love a second time, he got out of bed and put his pants back on.
"What are you up to?" she called. "Jack Nicklaus wouldn't think of leaving now." So the golfer pulled off his pants and s**... her a third time, and afterward he started to get dressed.
"C'mon, you can't leave yet," protested the girl. "Tiger Woods wouldn't call it a day."
"Lady, would you tell me one thing?" asked the golfer, looking at her very seriously. "What's par for this hole?"

Two lady golfers

1st Lady Golfer: You know, last time I was here a bee stung me between the first and second holes.
2nd Lady Golfer: That's because your stance is too wide.

Stung

A woman golfer suffers a n**... bee sting and leaves the course to go see her doctor about it. "What happened?" asked the doctor. "I got stung between the first and second hole," replied the lady golfer.
The doctor replied, "You must have an awfully wide stance!"

An American man goes on a business trip to Japan.

And he arrives there a day early before the meeting. So he decides to enjoy the night-life a little bit. The man goes out to a bar, picks up a lady after having a few drinks, and takes her back to the hotel. Eventually they start having s**... and the lady keeps saying, "Oshi Moshi! Oshi Moshi!"
The man thought that was weird but he kept going. The next day, he meets some business men on a golf course and sees one of them shank the ball. The guy is absolutely livid and shouts, "Oshi Moshi!"
The American man looks at him and asks, "I hate to bother you, but what does 'oshi moshi' mean?"
The golfer replies, "wrong hole!"

Cheating Golfers

An old married couple were golfing one day. On the first hole, the husband stopped mid-swing and broke down. "I can't take it any more, I have to tell you! 20 years ago, just before we were married, I cheated on you with your best friend Sally!" His wife said, "Oh, why even bring that up- it was so long ago. I forgive you sweetheart". The husband was relieved, and they continued the game. On the 18th hole, his wife stopped her s**... mid-swing as well, and broke down. She said, "I have something to confess as well. 25 years ago, before we were married, I had gender reassignment surgery. I was born a man." Her husband throws a tantrum, and is carrying on all over the tee box when he yells out, "This whole time, FOR ALL THESE YEARS???! You were playing from the Ladies tees?!?!"

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