laddie Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious laddie stories

What are the best Laddie puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Laddie? Well here is a complete list of Laddie to have fun with:

I wouldn't say Scotsmen are cheap but...

A Scotsmen and a Jewish man were having a magnificent meal at one of the most expensive restaurants in The world. After the meal their waiter came over to present the check and a Scottish voice said "that's all right laddie just gae the check to me".

Headlines in the local newspaper next day read: "Jewish ventriloquist found beaten to death".

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An young Irish boy

A young Irish boy is stood crying at the side of the road. A man asks him What's wrong wid ya laddie? The boy says Me ma is dead . Oh bejaysus the man says Do you want me to call Father O' Riley for you ? The boy replies No tanks mister, sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment.

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An Irish guy goes to the same bar every day

This Irish guy goes to the same bar every day and orders 3 shots of Jameson. So after a while the bar tender asks him why he orders 3 shots of Jameson every day. The man tells him that two of the shots are for his brothers shamus and laddie back in Ireland. And the third was for him.
One day the man comes in and orders only two shots of Jameson.
The bartender asks him if everything is ok with his brothers in Ireland.
He tells the bartender; Oh ya everything is ok with my brothers, I just quit drinking...

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What is the difference between a laddie and a lady?

One has a d where the other doesn't.

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A hiker walks into an Irish bar...

And sits down at the bar. A drunken old Irishman looks at him and raps his knuckles on the bar. "Do you see this bar, laddie? I built this bar with me bare hands, but do they call me John the bar builder? No..." He turns on his stool and points out another window. "Do you see that wall? I laid those stones with my bar hands, but do they call John the wall builder? No..." He turns again and points out yet another window to the ocean. "Do you see that pier? I built that pier with me bare hands, but do they call me John the pier builder? No..."

But you fuck one goat...

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There's these two Irish guys...

And it's St. Patty's Day, so the two are getting blasted. In their drunken stupor, they strike up a conversation.

The first Irishman goes, "Hey there Laddie, where are ya from?"

The second one replies, "Oh me? I'm straight from Ireland!"

The first Irishman smiles brightly, "NOOO WAAAAY! ME TOO! A round of drinks!"

The two Irishmen down their drinks and keep chatting.

"Well, where in Ireland are you from?"

"Dublin!"

"NOOO WAAAAY! ME TOO! A round of drinks!"

Again, they down their drinks as their excitement (and drunkenness) increase.

"Well, did you know Ol' Johnny Brennan?!?"

"He was one of my best friends!"

"NOOO WAAAAY! ME TOO! A round of drinks!"

While the two Irishmen are finishing their drinks, another partron comes and sits at the bar. When the bartender comes over, the newcomer says, "How's it going Mickey!"

Mickey, the bartender, replies, "Pretty good, pretty good. The O'Malley twins are drunk again."

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Pet Lobsters

An old joke (not mine) & one of my favorites:

In a small fishing village, a Newfoundlander was walking up the wharf carrying two live lobsters, at least three pounds, one in each hand.

It was three weeks after the season closed. Whom should he meet at the end of the wharf but the Fisheries Officer who, upon viewing the live and wiggling lobsters, says: "Well me laddie, I got you this time -with two live lobsters three weeks after the season closed!"

The Newfie says, "No, my son- you are wrong! These are two trained lobsters that I caught two weeks before the season ended."

The Fisheries Officer says, "Trained? Like how?"

"Well, my son- each day I takes these two from my house down to the wharf and puts them in the water for a swim. While they swim, I sits on the wharf and has me a smoke or two. After about 15 minutes I whistles and up comes me two lobsters, and I takes them home!"

"Likely story," the Fisheries Officer says. "Let's take them on down to the wharf and see if its true."

So, the Newfoundlander goes ahead of the Fisheries Officer to the end of the wharf where, under supervision, he gently lowers both lobsters into the water. The Newfie sits on a wharf piling and lights up a smoke, then another.

After about 15 minutes the Fisheries Officer says to the Newfie, "How about whistling?"

The Newfoundlander says, "What for?"

The Fisheries Officer says, "To call in the lobsters."

"What lobsters?" the Newfie says.

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Scotsman at a baseball game

A Scotsman newly immigrated to the U.S. wants to immerse himself in American life, so he goes to a baseball game. He has no clue how it's played, but every time the batter takes off for first base all the people around him yell, "Run! Run!" So he stands up and yells, "Rrrrun, laddie! Rrrrun!"

In the fourth inning a batter gets walked. When the umpire calls ball four he tosses the bat aside and starts ambling toward first at a leisurely pace. The Scotsman jumps up and yells, "Rrrrun, laddie! Rrrrun!" but the guy sitting next to him nudges him and says, "No, no, he's got four balls, he gets to walk." The Scotsman says, "Four balls?" He looks back out at the player, raises his fist and intones, "Walk prrrroud, laddie! Walk PRRROUD!"

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CONCLUSION

You've read some of the best laddie jokes of all time. Most of the stories are suitable for kids with good sense of humor, children or teens boys and girls, of course dads. You must supervise kids not to read pranks for adults. Note that some jokes are disgusting, filled with black humor so don't tell dirty laddie gags to your kids. These jokes are updated with new ones in December 2019.

How do I make my girlfriend or boyfriend laughs? Well, this list of funny stories will make you cry in laughter. Some of these laddie jokes are funny and some are hilarious.

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