laddie Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious laddie puns

I wouldn't say Scotsmen are cheap but...

A Scotsmen and a Jewish man were having a magnificent meal at one of the most expensive restaurants in The world. After the meal their waiter came over to present the check and a Scottish voice said "that's all right laddie just gae the check to me".

Headlines in the local newspaper next day read: "Jewish ventriloquist found beaten to death".


An young Irish boy

A young Irish boy is stood crying at the side of the road. A man asks him What's wrong wid ya laddie? The boy says Me ma is dead . Oh bejaysus the man says Do you want me to call Father O' Riley for you ? The boy replies No tanks mister, sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment.


A guy walks into a bar...

A guy walks into a bar in Scotland and sits down beside an old man. They strike up a conversation and the old man says,

"Laddie, do ya see that stone wall out there? I built that wall with me own hands, but do they call me Angus the wallbuilder? No."

The guy nods appreciatively and the old man says,

"Do you ya see this bar here? I built this bar with me own hands, but do they call me Angus the bar builder? No sir."

The guy nods again and finally the old man says, "Arrgh...but ya fuck one sheep..."


Irish man's first baseball game.

An Irish man went to his first American baseball game. As the first batter made a hit, fans jumped up yelling, "RUN! RUN!"

The Irish man jumped up as well yelling, "Run, laddie! Run laddie!"

The next batter got up and made his hit. The fans again cheered, "RUN! RUN!"

The Irish man jumped up yelling "Run laddie! Run laddie!"

The third batter got up got ball 1...ball 2...ball 3...ball 4.....The umpire yelled "Take your base!"

The batter jogged to the base.

The Irish man jumped up an yelled "Run laddie! Run laddie!"

Another fan looked at him and said, "He does not need to run, for he has 4 balls!"

The Irish man's jaw dropped, and turned and said, "Walk with pride, lad! Walk with pride!"


Irish Gas Station

Taking a wee break from the golf course, Rory McIlroy drives his new Mercedes into an Irish gas station.
An attendant greets him in a typical Irish manner, unaware who the golf pro is...
"Top o' the mornin to ya"
As Rory gets out of the car, two tees fall out of his pocket.
"What are those things, laddie?" asks the attendant.
"They're called tees," replies Rory.
"And what would ya be usin 'em for, now?" inquires the Irishman.
"Well, they're for resting my balls on when I drive," replies Rory.
"Aw, Jaysus, Maryan' Joseph!" exclaims the Irish attendant. "Those fellas at Mercedes think of everything..."


Scotsman at a baseball game

A Scotsman newly immigrated to the U.S. wants to immerse himself in American life, so he goes to a baseball game. He has no clue how it's played, but every time the batter takes off for first base all the people around him yell, "Run! Run!" So he stands up and yells, "Rrrrun, laddie! Rrrrun!"

In the fourth inning a batter gets walked. When the umpire calls ball four he tosses the bat aside and starts ambling toward first at a leisurely pace. The Scotsman jumps up and yells, "Rrrrun, laddie! Rrrrun!" but the guy sitting next to him nudges him and says, "No, no, he's got four balls, he gets to walk." The Scotsman says, "Four balls?" He looks back out at the player, raises his fist and intones, "Walk prrrroud, laddie! Walk PRRROUD!"


There's these two Irish guys...

And it's St. Patty's Day, so the two are getting blasted. In their drunken stupor, they strike up a conversation.

The first Irishman goes, "Hey there Laddie, where are ya from?"

The second one replies, "Oh me? I'm straight from Ireland!"

The first Irishman smiles brightly, "NOOO WAAAAY! ME TOO! A round of drinks!"

The two Irishmen down their drinks and keep chatting.

"Well, where in Ireland are you from?"


"NOOO WAAAAY! ME TOO! A round of drinks!"

Again, they down their drinks as their excitement (and drunkenness) increase.

"Well, did you know Ol' Johnny Brennan?!?"

"He was one of my best friends!"

"NOOO WAAAAY! ME TOO! A round of drinks!"

While the two Irishmen are finishing their drinks, another partron comes and sits at the bar. When the bartender comes over, the newcomer says, "How's it going Mickey!"

Mickey, the bartender, replies, "Pretty good, pretty good. The O'Malley twins are drunk again."


An Irish guy goes to the same bar every day

This Irish guy goes to the same bar every day and orders 3 shots of Jameson. So after a while the bar tender asks him why he orders 3 shots of Jameson every day. The man tells him that two of the shots are for his brothers shamus and laddie back in Ireland. And the third was for him.
One day the man comes in and orders only two shots of Jameson.
The bartender asks him if everything is ok with his brothers in Ireland.
He tells the bartender; Oh ya everything is ok with my brothers, I just quit drinking...


An Irishman was telling a Scott about his trouble sleeping.

The Scott asks if he's tried counting sheep. The Irishman says that stuff doesn't work, it's for wee babes in mums aarms. The Scott says, Ney laddie, werks ever time. But 'ye got ta meek it reel lifey like in yer heed. See ever lil' detail, ever lil' soond dontcha do any meer wandrin bye.

The Irishman asked if that really worked and the Scott said, Ever time as true as the dew in tha morn. I coont one sheep - an really see 'er. Then two sheep. Three. By sevn er eight I'm hard as a habit. I have a kweek wank and sleep like a babe.


It was cruel of Mark Addy (Robert Baratheon in GoT) to name his son Paul.

Poor laddie.


What are the most funny Laddie jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Laddie? Well, here are the best Laddie dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Laddie pick up lines to share with friends.


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