Ladder Jokes

167 ladder jokes and hilarious ladder puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ladder that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for some laugh-inducing jokes about ladders? Read this article for a collection of some of the funniest jokes about ladders, from ladder safety to ladder rungs, to stepping up and ladder logic. Get ready to climb up the stairs of laughter with these ladder jokes!

Funniest Ladder Short Jokes

Short ladder jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ladder humour may include short staircase jokes also.

  1. I've been reading a book called How To Use A Ladder Well, it's more of a step-by-step guide.
  2. I bet my butcher $1,000 that he couldn't reach the beef on the top shelf without a ladder. He said the steaks were too high.
  3. What's the difference between a step stool and a 3D printer? The former is a ladder and the latter is a former.
  4. Everyone is trying to climb the ladder to success And at the top is a guy named Sess, having the time of his life.
  5. I'll never forget what my grandpa said to me just before he died... "are you still holding the ladder?"
  6. I'll never forget my Uncle's last words to me just before he died. "Are you still holding the ladder?"
  7. My friend was showing me around his toolshed Pointing to a ladder he said, "That's my stepladder. I never knew my real ladder."
  8. Two men are discussing how they'll reach a lightbulb that needs to be changed. Man 1: would you like the ladder or the step stool?
    Man 2: I prefer the ladder.
    Man 1: ok, step stool it is.
  9. Two drunks are crawling on the railroad. One says "I'm tired of climbing this ladder, when's our floor already?"
    "No worries, I see an elevator coming."
  10. My friend was showing me his tool shed. He pointed to a ladder.
    "That's my step ladder," he said.
    "I never met my real ladder."

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Ladder One Liners

Which ladder one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ladder? I can suggest the ones about elevator and escalator.

  1. I have a stepladder. I never knew my real ladder.
  2. I have a stepladder... ...because my real ladder left when I was a kid.
  3. Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? Someone told her drinks were on the house.
  4. Why did the blonde take a ladder into the bar? She heard drinks were on the house.
  5. I have a step ladder I never met my real ladder .
  6. I have a step ladder its a nice ladder, but I wish I knew my real ladder.
  7. I fell off of a 20 foot ladder today at work. Thankfully I was on the bottom step.
  8. This is my step ladder... I never knew my real ladder...
  9. I fell off a 30 foot ladder yesterday. I'm fine, I was only on the second rung.
  10. I can still remember my Grandpa's last words to me: "Are you still holding the ladder?"
  11. My mom's new husband gave me his ladder. It's now my step ladder.
  12. I have a step-ladder I've never known my biological ladder
  13. I fell of a 50ft ladder today! Luckily, I was only on the second step.
  14. Why did the winter solstice bring a ladder to the party? To "reach" new heights of fun.
  15. How to climb a ladder Step 1.
    Step 2.
    Step 3.

Ladder Up Jokes

Here is a list of funny ladder up jokes and even better ladder up puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Everyone is panicking about the stock markets.... But the 31 foot mexican ladder company I invested in is surging.
  • Help! I'm stuck on Rick Astley's roof He took away the ladder and said he is never gonna let me down.
  • I was at the hardware store, and an employee asked me if I wanted a ladder or a hammer. When I said I wanted the latter, I was surprised when the employee brought me a ladder
  • How many blondes does it take to screw a light bulb? Five. One to hold the lightbulb and four to turn the ladder.
  • It's statistically proven that having a ladder in your home is more dangerous than a loaded gun that's why I have 12 guns in case some maniac tries to sneak a ladder in here
  • How many Google plus users does it take to change a lightbulb ? All of them actually . Two to hold the ladder and one to change the lightbulb .
  • How many Valve employees does it take to change a light-bulb? Two. Two to hold a ladder and one to screw it in.
    Whats that? Three you say? They can't count that high.
  • Why did the gardener bring a ladder to the spring equinox party? To reach the highest branches of the conversation!
  • Spaces between ladder rungs have increased because people are getting taller Manufacturers claim it's due to climb it change.
  • The gap between rungs on a ladder has increased because people have become taller. This is officially known as climb it change.

Climbing Ladder Jokes

Here is a list of funny climbing ladder jokes and even better climbing ladder puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I once saw a dwarf of a criminal climb down the prison wall using a ladder And i thought to myself 'oh thats a little CONdescending
  • Spaces between ladder rings have gradually been increasing over the years. Manufacturers claim its due to climb it change.
  • How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? Three, one to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the ladder company.
  • People always asked me why I made puns. I told them that we live in a world where a comedian either climbs to be a legend or lives long enough to start using puns... and I chose the ladder.
  • How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? One to climb the ladder, one to shake it and one to sue the ladder company
  • How many McDonald's employees does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can't climb the ladder.
  • How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? 3 lawyers .One climbs the ladder , the 2nd one to push it and the 3rd one to sue the lightbulb company.
  • How to climb a ladder Step one
    Step two
  • Welcome to my 3 step programme on how to climb ladders Step 1
    Step 2
    Step 3
  • Maybe you need a ladder to climb out of my business?
Ladder joke

Step Ladder Jokes

Here is a list of funny step ladder jokes and even better step ladder puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why is a step ladder better then a regular ladder? Because your regular ladder went for cigarettes and never came back.
  • Why wasn't the elf allowed to use the step ladder to decorate the Christmas tree? Because of 'elf and safety restrictions.
  • I accidentally fell off a 50-foot ladder but good thing I was only on the 3rd step
  • I once asked my friend why he only had a step ladder. He told me "I don't know, I never knew my real ladder."
  • This is a step ladder. I never knew my real ladder.
    Last I heard he was in a twelve step program.
    I'll see myself out.
  • I'd like to introduce you to my step ladder! I never knew my real ladder...
  • I've just got a step ladder It'll never be my real ladder, though.
  • I fell off a 40 foot ladder Luckily it was the first step
  • This is my step ladder He's pretty useful around the house yet I'm still salty I never met my real ladder..
  • Two economists fall into a hole they realize they are trapped, and so they come up with a plan. The first step in their plan is... assume a ladder.

Ladder Fall Jokes

Here is a list of funny ladder fall jokes and even better ladder fall puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call it when two ladders fall down? Co-ladder-al damage.
  • There are two categories of people in this world, graceful and clumsy... I always seem to fall into the ladder
  • A Jew goes up a ladder. As he reaches the top a pound coin falls from his pocket.
    He climbed down to retrieve it and the coin hit him on the head.
  • Ladders causes more accidents in homes than guns That's why I have 10 guns, incase some psycho tries to sneak in a ladder.
    Gravity Falls has the best jokes.
  • What did the worker say as they were falling off a ladder O SHA-splat
Ladder joke, What did the worker say as they were falling off a ladder

Witty Ladder Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about ladder you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stairway jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ladder pranks.

Library s**...

A man goes to the library and asks if they have a book on how to commit s**....
The librarian says "Yeh, I think we do, it should be at the back row on the top shelf".
The man goes and looks, even climbs a ladder to look at the top but still can't find it.
"Still no luck" says the man.
The librarian replies "Oh, the last person who borrowed it mustn't have brought it back"

Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.

A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement and announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.
Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"

If I had a choice between stairs and a runged instrument for ascending things...

I would choose the ladder.

How many Freudians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One to screw in the bulb and the other to hold the p**.....*ER..LADDER! I MEANT LADDER!*

A burglar

Some young man is trying to get into my room through the window, screamed old Mrs. Kleinman into the telephone.
Sorry, lady, came back the answer, you've got the fire department. What you want is the police department.
No, no, she pleaded, I want the fire department. What he needs is a longer ladder!

A man goes to a store to buy groceries.

When he gets to the Butchery, he asks for three steaks.
The butcher asks if he'd like to play a game, after which the man replies that he would.
The butcher climbs a ladder up to the ceiling, easily 9 or 10 feet, and hangs them on hooks up there.
When he climbs down, the butcher says "If you can jump up and get all of your steaks in 3 tries, all of your groceries are free."
The man asks, "What's the catch?"
The butcher replies, "If you fail to get the steaks in three tries, you have to pay for your groceries and those of the man behind you in line."
After some consideration, the man replies "No."
The butcher asks, "Why not?"
The man simply replies "The stakes are too high."

A man was trapped in a burning building...

...on the 12th floor. He ran to the open window and saw a fireman approaching on a long ladder. He felt so relieved to be saved. Before climbing out the window he yelled to the fireman,
"What should I do? Should I go down with you on the ladder, or should I jump to the ground?"
The fireman said, 'The ladder."
The man died.

A man was walking down the street when he heard a distant voice say, "Climb the ladder to success."

The man then noticed a ladder leaning up against the building to his right. Again, he heard the voice: "Climb the ladder to success." The man shrugged and began to climb. The voice kept repeating itself and grew louder as the man approached the top. "Climb the ladder to success." Finally, the man reached the top of the building, where he found a fully n**... man. "Hi, I'm Sess."

A man was asked if he would rather have a new circular saw or a ladder...

He chose the latter.

Did you hear about the math teacher...

...who used a ladder to solve a calculus problem written at the very top of his blackboard?
He really rose to the equation.

I just bought bunk beds. The other night I brought a date home. She said, "I'll get on top." I said, "Great, I'll get the ladder."

She said, "You sure think a lot of yourself, don't you?"

How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

17, 1 to hold the lightbulb, 1 to hold the ladder and the other 15 to drink whiskey until the roof spins

[Politics] i**... immigrants are lucky

The government is helping them escape the US
...and into mexico, where a booming ladder industry is providing plenty of jobs

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

1 to hold the bulb and 4 to spin the ladder.

How many wizards does it take to change a lightbulb?

One Slytherin to break it.
One Gryffindor to volunteer to change it.
Three Hufflepuffs to hold the ladder to ensure the safety of the Gryffindor student.
And one Ravenclaw to point out that they could have just used magic in the first place.

I have a stepladder. It's a great ladder and all...

but I wish I knew my real ladder.

I just got a new stepladder.

I lost my real ladder when I was 6.

I can still remember my grandpa's last words...

"Hey, stop shaking the ladder!"

I bought a new ladder this week... has its ups and downs.

You know, I have a neat step ladder

But its too bad I never got to know my real ladder.

I was in a love triangle with my girlfriend and a tool. I told her she had to choose. Me or him.

She chose the ladder.

I fell off a 50 foot ladder today...

Thankfully I was only on the first step!

I fell off a 20 foot ladder yesterday...

Luckily I was just on the first rung.

Fell off a 50ft ladder today...

...good thing I was on the first wrung!

What do you call a m**... climber?

A Ladder Day Saint.

Why didn't the butcher attempt to get the meat from the top shelf off of his rickety ladder?

The steaks were too high.

I still remember my mother in law's last words before she died.

She said Stop shaking the ladder you idiot!

I just got a ladder in my tights.

I truly am a talented shoplifter

Never trust a ladder.

They're always up to something.

How many Freudian psychologists does it take it change a light bulb?

One to hold the ladder and the other to screw ~~your mother~~ it in.

I only had enough money to buy either a ladder or a rope...

I chose the latter.

[OC]A man walks into a hardware store

Man: Hello, I'm doing some work on my house exterior and need to get to the siding and onto the roof.
Employee: Well, we have a wide range of ladders that will do the trick. There's a 3-step ladder that will be perfect for the siding, and an extending ladder that will get you up on the roof. Do you want them both?
Man: I'll take the former now and the latter ladder later.

My Physics teacher said I have no Potential

Joke's on her, I just bought a ladder.

Studies show that owning a ladder is 10 times more dangerous than owning a gun.

That's why I own 10 guns. In case some maniac trys to come at me with a ladder.

How many dads does it take to change a bulb?

One to fetch the ladder, one to go back to the hardware store to get the right bulb, another to look up and say "yep", and the rest to just stand around, debating charcoal vs gas.

An Army Captain is assigned to a remote desert post in Iraq

During inspection, he notices a camel t**... outside the barracks. He asks the soldier, "why is that camel there?"
The soldier says: "There are 250 men here and no women. Sometimes men get urges."
A month later the Captian has urges himself. He puts the ladder behind the camel, drops his trousers and has s**... with the camel. He asks the soldier: "Is that how the men do it?"
"No sir, they usually ride it to the brothel!"

The only way to learn...

When I was a young kid my dad taught me how to swim by throwing me in the deep end of a pool. Swimming to the ladder was easy, but getting out of the sack was the hard part.

I'll never forget my grandpa's last words...

Are you still holding the ladder?

How many schizophrenia patients do you need to fix a lightbulb?

Just one, his friend will hold the ladder.

Becky discussing with her friend Karen

Becky: Last week, my uncle was taking pictures of me and asked me to climb up a ladder so he could get a better angle.
Karen: did you do it?.. it was just an excuse to see your p**....
Becky: I know. That's why I took it off before climbing the ladder.

I once dated a workaholic carpenter.

I told her to choose: "It's me or your tools."
She chose the ladder.

A man is home and sees a gorilla hanging on his backyard tree.

So he naturally picks up the yellow pages and calls the gorilla Removal services. The professional arrives in less than ten minutes, and gets off his van with a pole, a ladder, a dog, a shotgun and handcuffs. He says "I see it's a male gorilla, so I'm taking the ladder up the tree and poke him with this pole. He's gonna fall, and my dog is trained to bite the crouch, so when the gorilla protects his groins, I handcuff him and bring him back to the wild. Hold this gun, please". The man asks "what do I do with it?", and the guy "If I fall from the tree, shoot the dog".

What did I say to my stepladder?

You're not my real ladder.
(You're welcome.)

I'll never forget my granddad's last words

Are you holding that ladder properly?

I had to get on the ladder to change a lightbulb in the garage this afternoon.

You could say it was the high light of my day.

Ladder joke, I had to get on the ladder to change a lightbulb in the garage this afternoon.

jokes about ladder