Ladder Jokes
164 ladder jokes and hilarious ladder puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ladder that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for some laugh-inducing jokes about ladders? Read this article for a collection of some of the funniest jokes about ladders, from ladder safety to ladder rungs, to stepping up and ladder logic. Get ready to climb up the stairs of laughter with these ladder jokes!
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Funniest Ladder Short Jokes
Short ladder jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ladder humour may include short staircase jokes also.
- I've been reading a book called How To Use A Ladder Well, it's more of a step-by-step guide.
- I bet my butcher $1,000 that he couldn't reach the beef on the top shelf without a ladder. He said the steaks were too high.
- What's the difference between a step stool and a 3D printer? The former is a ladder and the latter is a former.
- Everyone is trying to climb the ladder to success And at the top is a guy named Sess, having the time of his life.
- I'll never forget what my grandpa said to me just before he died... "are you still holding the ladder?"
- My friend was showing me around his toolshed Pointing to a ladder he said, "That's my stepladder. I never knew my real ladder."
- Two men are discussing how they'll reach a lightbulb that needs to be changed. Man 1: would you like the ladder or the step stool?
Man 2: I prefer the ladder.
Man 1: ok, step stool it is. - Two drunks are crawling on the railroad. One says "I'm tired of climbing this ladder, when's our floor already?"
"No worries, I see an elevator coming." - My friend was showing me his tool shed. He pointed to a ladder.
"That's my step ladder," he said.
"I never met my real ladder." - Everyone is panicking about the stock markets.... But the 31 foot mexican ladder company I invested in is surging.
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Ladder One Liners
Which ladder one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ladder? I can suggest the ones about elevator and escalator.
- I have a stepladder. I never knew my real ladder.
- Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? Someone told her drinks were on the house.
- I fell off of a 20 foot ladder today at work. Thankfully I was on the bottom step.
- This is my step ladder... I never knew my real ladder...
- I fell off a 30 foot ladder yesterday. I'm fine, I was only on the second rung.
- My mom's new husband gave me his ladder. It's now my step ladder.
- Why did the winter solstice bring a ladder to the party? To "reach" new heights of fun.
- How to climb a ladder Step 1.
Step 2.
Step 3. - I only had enough money to buy either a ladder or a rope... I chose the latter.
- I'd like to introduce you to my step ladder! I never knew my real ladder...
- Fell off a 50ft ladder today... ...good thing I was on the first wrung!
- I've just got a step ladder It'll never be my real ladder, though.
- I bought a new ladder this week... ...it has its ups and downs.
- I would never try to get meat off the top shelf without a ladder. The steaks are too high
- I just got a ladder in my tights. I truly am a talented shoplifter
Ladder Up Jokes
Here is a list of funny ladder up jokes and even better ladder up puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Help! I'm stuck on Rick Astley's roof He took away the ladder and said he is never gonna let me down.
- I was at the hardware store, and an employee asked me if I wanted a ladder or a hammer. When I said I wanted the latter, I was surprised when the employee brought me a ladder
- It's statistically proven that having a ladder in your home is more dangerous than a loaded gun that's why I have 12 guns in case some maniac tries to sneak a ladder in here
- How many Google plus users does it take to change a lightbulb ? All of them actually . Two to hold the ladder and one to change the lightbulb .
- Why did the gardener bring a ladder to the spring equinox party? To reach the highest branches of the conversation!
- Spaces between ladder rungs have increased because people are getting taller Manufacturers claim it's due to climb it change.
- There are several ways to get to the second floor. Some prefer the stairs, others the elevator. I prefer the ladder.
- Why is a step ladder better then a regular ladder? Because your regular ladder went for cigarettes and never came back.
- Why did the gardener bring a ladder to the spring equinox celebration? To reach for the highest blooms!
- Why wasn't the elf allowed to use the step ladder to decorate the Christmas tree? Because of 'elf and safety restrictions.
Climbing Ladder Jokes
Here is a list of funny climbing ladder jokes and even better climbing ladder puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- People always asked me why I made puns. I told them that we live in a world where a comedian either climbs to be a legend or lives long enough to start using puns... and I chose the ladder.
- How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? One to climb the ladder, one to shake it and one to sue the ladder company
- How many McDonald's employees does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can't climb the ladder.
- How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? 3 lawyers .One climbs the ladder , the 2nd one to push it and the 3rd one to sue the lightbulb company.
- Welcome to my 3 step programme on how to climb ladders Step 1
Step 2
Step 3 - Maybe you need a ladder to climb out of my business?
- I climbed a really tall ladder. Afterwards, I was rung out.
- I was climbing the ladder to success Then a guy poked his head out of a window and said "Hi, I'm Cess!"
- A Jew goes up a ladder. As he reaches the top a pound coin falls from his pocket.
He climbed down to retrieve it and the coin hit him on the head. - CS:GO Jokes.. pls dont take this seriously How many CS GO silver ranked players does it take to fix a light bulb??. None! cause they cant climb the ladder lol lel xD...
Step Ladder Jokes
Here is a list of funny step ladder jokes and even better step ladder puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- This is a step ladder. I never knew my real ladder.
Last I heard he was in a twelve step program.
I'll see myself out. - This is my step ladder He's pretty useful around the house yet I'm still salty I never met my real ladder..
- Two economists fall into a hole they realize they are trapped, and so they come up with a plan. The first step in their plan is... assume a ladder.
- Someone asked me, why do you have a step-ladder. It's because i never knew my real one.
- I have a step-ladder... One day i hope to find my real ladder.
- I bought ladders from IKEA today. They came with step by step instructions.
- A roofer gets to choose how to get onto the roof. He can either use a scissor lift or a series of steps between two metal poles. He chose the ladder.
- What did the step ladder say to the ladder? You're not my real dad
- I have a step ladder I never knew my real ladder...but I heard great things about him, like he supported 3 people at one time... last I heard he was In a 12 step program
- So I recently got a step-ladder It hurts not being able to see my real ladder any more.
Ladder Fall Jokes
Here is a list of funny ladder fall jokes and even better ladder fall puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call it when two ladders fall down? Co-ladder-al damage.
- There are two categories of people in this world, graceful and clumsy... I always seem to fall into the ladder
- What did the worker say as they were falling off a ladder O SHA-splat
Witty Ladder Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about ladder you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stairway jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ladder pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.
A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement and announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.
Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"
If I had a choice between stairs and a runged instrument for ascending things...
I would choose the ladder.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many Freudians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two.
One to screw in the bulb and the other to hold the p**.....*ER..LADDER! I MEANT LADDER!*
The ladder to success
A broke young woman is walking down the road. She happens to come across a very large ladder in the middle of road. So she asks a man standing nearby what its there for, he replies saying "well, its the ladder to success!". She then proceeds to climb the ladder very eagerly. She then finds her way to the top. There stands a bright red door, so she knocks on the door. And suddenly a very large man comes out with a big grin saying " Hey there, my name's Sess"
A burglar
Some young man is trying to get into my room through the window, screamed old Mrs. Kleinman into the telephone.
Sorry, lady, came back the answer, you've got the fire department. What you want is the police department.
No, no, she pleaded, I want the fire department. What he needs is a longer ladder!
A man goes to a store to buy groceries.
When he gets to the Butchery, he asks for three steaks.
The butcher asks if he'd like to play a game, after which the man replies that he would.
The butcher climbs a ladder up to the ceiling, easily 9 or 10 feet, and hangs them on hooks up there.
When he climbs down, the butcher says "If you can jump up and get all of your steaks in 3 tries, all of your groceries are free."
The man asks, "What's the catch?"
The butcher replies, "If you fail to get the steaks in three tries, you have to pay for your groceries and those of the man behind you in line."
After some consideration, the man replies "No."
The butcher asks, "Why not?"
The man simply replies "The stakes are too high."
The ladder
A man was trapped in a burning building and a firefighter yelled through the window, "You have two possible exit points, this ladder or the stairs." The man chose the latter. He died.
You know, studies show that keeping a ladder inside the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun.
That's why I own ten guns. In case some maniac tries to sneak in a ladder!
^(Source: Gravity Falls. Can't find a good clip of the moment)
A man was trapped in a burning building...
...on the 12th floor. He ran to the open window and saw a fireman approaching on a long ladder. He felt so relieved to be saved. Before climbing out the window he yelled to the fireman,
"What should I do? Should I go down with you on the ladder, or should I jump to the ground?"
The fireman said, 'The ladder."
The man died.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Today I saw a midget escaping from prison with a ladder.
He was a little condescending.
Did you hear about the Irishman that brought a ladder to the pub
He heard the drinks were on the house
how did the boy get to high school?
with a ladder
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man was walking down the street when he heard a distant voice say, "Climb the ladder to success."
The man then noticed a ladder leaning up against the building to his right. Again, he heard the voice: "Climb the ladder to success." The man shrugged and began to climb. The voice kept repeating itself and grew louder as the man approached the top. "Climb the ladder to success." Finally, the man reached the top of the building, where he found a fully n**... man. "Hi, I'm Sess."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Cs go joke
How many CS GO silver ranked players does it take to fix a light bulb.
None cause they cant climb the ladder ahahahahahaha
A man was asked if he would rather have a new circular saw or a ladder...
He chose the latter.
Did you hear about the math teacher...
...who used a ladder to solve a calculus problem written at the very top of his blackboard?
He really rose to the equation.
I just bought bunk beds. The other night I brought a date home. She said, "I'll get on top." I said, "Great, I'll get the ladder."
She said, "You sure think a lot of yourself, don't you?"
If I had to choose between a stepstool and a device that let's me get even higher...
...I'd take the ladder.
(I'll just leave now)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
[Politics] i**... immigrants are lucky
The government is helping them escape the US
...and into mexico, where a booming ladder industry is providing plenty of jobs
I tried being a barber for a while but I just couldn't cut it.
Bonus joke:
Had to buy a stepladder the other day, I never knew my real ladder.
Which is better a stool or a box to stand on?
You stand on a stool, though I prefer the ladder
How many wizards does it take to change a lightbulb?
Six.
One Slytherin to break it.
One Gryffindor to volunteer to change it.
Three Hufflepuffs to hold the ladder to ensure the safety of the Gryffindor student.
And one Ravenclaw to point out that they could have just used magic in the first place.
I have a stepladder. It's a great ladder and all...
but I wish I knew my real ladder.
I just got a new stepladder.
I lost my real ladder when I was 6.
Why did Stevie Wonder run away from the black cat crossing the street under a ladder?
He was very Superstitious.
I was in a love triangle with my girlfriend and a tool. I told her she had to choose. Me or him.
She chose the ladder.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many Valve employees does it take to change a light-bulb?
Two. Two to hold a ladder and one to screw it in.
Whats that? Three you say? They can't count that high.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a m**... climber?
A Ladder Day Saint.
Two young boys went to a bread store...
Two young boys went to a bread store. One boy asks the pretty clerk if he could get some raisin bread, she climbs up a ladder to grab the boy a loaf of raisin bread. While she's up on the ladder, the boy notices that the clerk wasn't wearing underwear. The boy whispers and points this out to the other boy. While up on the ladder the clerk asks the other boy if his is raisin too. To which he says, No Ma'am, mine's just quivering.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I still remember my mother in law's last words before she died.
She said Stop shaking the ladder you idiot!
With faint voice, crucified Jesus calls Petrus...
"Petrus, come closer, I have to tell you something important."
Petrus steps to the cross, looking up to Jesus: "Yes master, what is it?"
"Please come closer.", Jesus whispers.
Petrus takes a ladder and climbs up to Jesus. "Yes master, I'm here, what is it?"
Jesus: "From up here I can see our house."
Why did the student take a ladder to school?
Because it was a High School duh
[OC]A man walks into a hardware store
Man: Hello, I'm doing some work on my house exterior and need to get to the siding and onto the roof.
Employee: Well, we have a wide range of ladders that will do the trick. There's a 3-step ladder that will be perfect for the siding, and an extending ladder that will get you up on the roof. Do you want them both?
Man: I'll take the former now and the latter ladder later.
A theater owner has a smudge on his sign
He climbs the ladder to clean it, but he is afraid of heights and soils himself, causing his underwear to stick to him uncomfortably. He now has two problems:
.
.
.
.
Marquee mark and the funky bunch
I'm so sorry
I was told to start at the bottom and make my way to the top.
This "How To Use A Ladder" DVD likes to state the obvious.
My six year old daughters first non-knock knock joke, told as a knock knock joke
Her: Knock Knock
Me: Who's there?
Her: Why did the chicken climb up the ladder and back down again?
Me: Sweetie, this isn't a how knock knock jokes work.
Her: Dad, this isn't a knock knock joke
Me: Okay.....
Her: To get to the other slide
My Physics teacher said I have no Potential
Joke's on her, I just bought a ladder.
Ladders are banned in Black Panther's homeland
They're considered unlucky to Wakanda.
Studies show that owning a ladder is 10 times more dangerous than owning a gun.
That's why I own 10 guns. In case some maniac trys to come at me with a ladder.
Why did the Blonde bring a ladder to the store?
Because it said "High Discounts".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Army Captain is assigned to a remote desert post in Iraq
During inspection, he notices a camel t**... outside the barracks. He asks the soldier, "why is that camel there?"
The soldier says: "There are 250 men here and no women. Sometimes men get urges."
A month later the Captian has urges himself. He puts the ladder behind the camel, drops his trousers and has s**... with the camel. He asks the soldier: "Is that how the men do it?"
"No sir, they usually ride it to the brothel!"
The only way to learn...
When I was a young kid my dad taught me how to swim by throwing me in the deep end of a pool. Swimming to the ladder was easy, but getting out of the sack was the hard part.
Why do people from Alabama not have a family tree?
Because there it's called a family ladder.
My boss got stuck on the roof while trying to get some work done
He shouted get me a ladder!
I won't let him down.
How many schizophrenia patients do you need to fix a lightbulb?
Just one, his friend will hold the ladder.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
p**... is doing some roofing work for Murphy. He nears the top of the ladder and starts shaking and getting dizzy.
He calls down to Murphy and says "I tink I will ave to go home, I've come all over giddy and feel sick". Murphy asks "Ave yer got vertigo?" p**... replies "No I only live round the corner".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Becky discussing with her friend Karen
Becky: Last week, my uncle was taking pictures of me and asked me to climb up a ladder so he could get a better angle.
Karen: did you do it?.. it was just an excuse to see your p**....
Becky: I know. That's why I took it off before climbing the ladder.
I once dated a workaholic carpenter.
I told her to choose: "It's me or your tools."
She chose the ladder.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man is home and sees a gorilla hanging on his backyard tree.
So he naturally picks up the yellow pages and calls the gorilla Removal services. The professional arrives in less than ten minutes, and gets off his van with a pole, a ladder, a dog, a shotgun and handcuffs. He says "I see it's a male gorilla, so I'm taking the ladder up the tree and poke him with this pole. He's gonna fall, and my dog is trained to bite the crouch, so when the gorilla protects his groins, I handcuff him and bring him back to the wild. Hold this gun, please". The man asks "what do I do with it?", and the guy "If I fall from the tree, shoot the dog".
What did I say to my stepladder?
You're not my real ladder.
(You're welcome.)
