Lactose Jokes

What are some Lactose jokes?

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Because they.... lactose.....

My new girlfriend dumped me when she found out I was missing a toe

Apparently she's lactose intolerant.

I like my women like I like my milkshake

Not at all. I'm lactose intolerant and gay

[OC] Why cant milk cartons walk?

Because they lactose.

Why can't cows do ballet?

Because they lactose.

Why do cows have hoofs?

Because they lactose

What did the lactose intolerant guy say after having a glass of milk?

Please excuse my dairy air

I sure hope Pennywise isn't lactose intolerant...

He seems to eat a lot of Derry

Why do people who drink milk struggle to walk?

Because they lactose.

I discriminate against people who lose digits on their feet to frostbite.

I guess you could say I am lactose intolerant.

I need to get a valentine's card for my lactose intolerant wife

But they're all too cheesy

Why don't dairy farmers wear flip flops?

Because they lactose.

Why do cows need four legs to walk?

Because they lactose.










Moo

What do you call a lactose intolerant Mexican bodybuilder.

No whey Jose

I'm glad my wife is lactose intolerant.

We don't have to pose for pictures.

Why don't cows wear shoes?

Because they lactose

Why do milk monsters walk weirdly?

Because they lactose.

I'm not doing anything cheesy for my girlfriend on valentines day...

She's lactose intolerant.

TIFU by accidentally giving my girlfriend my sandwich that had extra cheese when she's lactose intolerant

Whoops, wrong sub.

None of my friends seem to care that I'm lactose intolerant

But tell them I'm racist and they all flip out.

[OC] My best friend recently lost the front of his foot in a boating accident and now I hate him.

I'm surprised by how lactose intolerant I am.

Why can't cows wear flip-flops?

Because they lac-tose!

Why don't cows wear flip flops?

They lactose.

My friend told me he can't drink milk. I asked him if he is lactose intolerant. He said he is actually allergic to the milk protein.

I said No whey!

Cheesecake

God: (creates cheesecake)

God: (While stuffing his face in front of the angels) Oh wow! This is so great!

Angel: Don't you think you should be sharing that?

—pause—

God:(creates lactose intolerance)

Finally found out why dairy cows lose their balance so easily

They lactose

what did the lactose intolerant man say after eating an ice cream cone?

please excuse my dairy air

I worked with a guy on a building site...

I once worked with a guy on a building site who never wore steel toe caps. When I asked him why, he said he didn't them. Turns out he was lactose intolerant.

What did the lactose intolerant Mexican say?

No whey Jose.

The Outsiders: Why is Ponyboy lactose intolerant?

He hates Dairy but likes Sodapop.

What do you call racist milk?

Intolerant Lactose.

Why do cows have trouble running?

They lactose.

Did you hear about the lactose intolerant man who ate a whole wheel of cheese?

it was not gouda for him later.

Here in Wisconsin, we're known as the Dairy State

Or for the lactose intolerant among us, the Diarrhea State

My friend named Lactose told me he supported gay marriage.

I guess you could say he was lactose and tolerant!

When you're trying to be cheesy

But everyone around you is lactose intolerant

Why can't cows go rock climbing?

Because they lactose.

Unfortunate man comes back from a war

A man was relieved from service after losing his feet. His wife subsequently left him because she was lactose intolerant.

My dad is in the hospital, he needed to get some toes amputated because of his diabetes.

He's been good about it. He says he's lactose intolerant.

Why can't milk cartons wear flip flops?

Because they lactose

A random stranger laughed at how I was lactose intolerant

How dairy

Why can't milk walk?

Because they lactose

Why does milk have a hard time keeping its balance?

Because it lactose

What polemon can you eat if you are lactose intolerant?

Butterfree.

Get it?

GeT It?

I'm not lactose intolerant...

I just can't stand milk!

A guy with a birth defect walks into a bar

He tries to hit up a girl but the girl suddenly starts vomiting uncontrollably

he calls an ambulance and she was sent to a hospital

later the doctor walks to the guy and says:

I'm sorry but she's lactose intolerant.

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How to make Lactose jokes?

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