Lactose Jokes
90 lactose jokes and hilarious lactose puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lactose that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Lactose Short Jokes
Short lactose jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lactose humour may include short milk jokes also.
- I have a lactose intolerant friend who sells ice cream for a living. He can't take it, but he can dish it out.
- My new girlfriend dumped me when she found out I was missing a toe Apparently she's lactose intolerant.
- I had to break up with my girlfriend after I ran over her feet with a lawnmower... I'm lactose intolerant.
- What did the lactose intolerant guy say after having a glass of milk? Please excuse my dairy air
- I used to date a girl who was lactose intolerant. We broke up because she couldn't stomach my cheesy jokes.
- What do lactose intolerant people call a collection of meat and cheese? A shart tootery board
- Pickup line : hello, are you lactose intolerant? Just wanted to make sure, my pickup line is very chessy. .
I used that once...she laughed...her husband laughed i walked away...true story btw - I discriminate against people who lose digits on their feet to frostbite. I guess you could say I am lactose intolerant.
- I need to get a valentine's card for my lactose intolerant wife But they're all too cheesy
- I'm not doing anything cheesy for my girlfriend on valentines day... She's lactose intolerant.
Share These Lactose Jokes With Friends
Lactose One Liners
Which lactose one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lactose? I can suggest the ones about breast milk and dairy.
- Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they.... lactose.....
- [OC] Why cant milk cartons walk? Because they lactose.
- What do you call a gender neutral person who is lactose intolerant!? Non buy dairy.
- Why can't cows do ballet? Because they lactose.
- I sure hope Pennywise isn't lactose intolerant... He seems to eat a lot of Derry
- They say life is like a box of chocolates... And I'm lactose intolerant.
- Why do people who drink milk struggle to walk? Because they lactose.
- I'm glad my wife is lactose intolerant. We don't have to pose for pictures.
- Why do cows need four legs to walk? Because they lactose.
Moo - Why don't cows wear shoes? Because they lactose
- What do you call a lactose intolerant music artist? Post Provolone
- Spray Cheese When you're lactose intolerant all cheese is spray cheese
- Why do milk monsters walk weirdly? Because they lactose.
- I like my women like I like my milk That's the end of the joke, I'm lactose intolerant.
- The Outsiders: Why is Ponyboy lactose intolerant? He hates Dairy but likes Sodapop.
Lactose Intolerant Jokes
Here is a list of funny lactose intolerant jokes and even better lactose intolerant puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do they call the side effects of lactose intolerance in France? Smelly derriere (dairy air)
- A friend of mine one told me: "If you want a girl to like you, use cheesy pickup lines." That didn't really work for me. Apparently all the girls I talk to are lactose intolerant.
- TIFU by accidentally giving my girlfriend my sandwich that had extra cheese when she's lactose intolerant Whoops, wrong sub.
- None of my friends seem to care that I'm lactose intolerant But tell them I'm racist and they all flip out.
- People who don't eat cheese because they are lactose intolerant… …need to learn to be more accepting of different cultures
- [OC] My best friend recently lost the front of his foot in a boating accident and now I hate him. I'm surprised by how lactose intolerant I am.
- My wife teases me with ice cream bc she knows I'm lactose intolerant. She really milks it too.
- I'm lactose intolerant, but I still eat chees because I'm not a barbarian. I'm a cultured man
- My friend told me he can't drink milk. I asked him if he is lactose intolerant. He said he is actually allergic to the milk protein. I said No whey!
- Did you hear about the depressed lactose-intolerant woman? She committed soya-cide.
Great Lactose Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about lactose you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sugar jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lactose pranks.
Unfortunate man comes back from a war
A man was relieved from service after losing his feet. His wife subsequently left him because she was lactose intolerant.
I'm not lactose intolerant...
I just can't stand milk!
Did you hear about the lactose intolerant man who ate a whole wheel of cheese?
it was not gouda for him later.
My dad is in the hospital, he needed to get some toes amputated because of his diabetes.
He's been good about it. He says he's lactose intolerant.
When you're trying to be cheesy
But everyone around you is lactose intolerant
A random stranger laughed at how I was lactose intolerant
How dairy
My friend named Lactose told me he supported gay marriage.
I guess you could say he was lactose and tolerant!
Cheesecake
God: (creates cheesecake)
God: (While stuffing his face in front of the angels) Oh wow! This is so great!
Angel: Don't you think you should be sharing that?
—pause—
God:(creates lactose intolerance)
Finally found out why dairy cows lose their balance so easily
They lactose
What do you call racist milk?
Intolerant Lactose.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a lactose intolerant Mexican bodybuilder.
No whey Jose
I worked with a guy on a building site...
I once worked with a guy on a building site who never wore steel toe caps. When I asked him why, he said he didn't them. Turns out he was lactose intolerant.
Why does milk have a hard time keeping its balance?
Because it lactose
Why do cows have trouble running?
They lactose.
What did the lactose intolerant Mexican say?
No whey Jose.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I like my women like I like my milkshake
Not at all. I'm lactose intolerant and gay
Did you know lactose intolerance is a genetic thing?
Runs in the family.
I can't condone the consumption of dairy.
I was raised lactose intolerant.
Life isn't really a piece of cake
When you're lactose intolerant.
What is the cow equivalent of Netflix and Chill?
Lactose 'n tolerance
I almost got fired last month because the word got out that I was intolerant...
I had to explain all about lactose to the Human Resource department.
Did you hear about the gay guy who was lactose intolerant?
They call him the Non Dairy Queen
Everyone keeps talking about racial intolerance. It's time we address lactose intolerance.
can't believe this is still a problem in 2018. Justice for dairy products
What polemon can you eat if you are lactose intolerant?
Butterfree.
Get it?
GeT It?
Here in Wisconsin, we're known as the Dairy State
Or for the lactose intolerant among us, the Diarrhea State
Do you know how lactose-free milk is made?
It is made by adding toes to normal milk, so that way it no longer lactose.
I'd tell you a dad joke...
But I heard you were lactose intolerant
Not your dairy insect
An ant was walking around when it found a 5inch ant of his very same species:
- Why are youso big, it asked
- I drink a lot of milk
"Lactose in taller ant"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between somebody who doesn't drink milk and somebody who dislikes amputees?
One is lactose intolerant, the other is lack toes intolerant
A man is talking to a woman and he asks for a fun fact about her. she tells him "I am missing all my toes". the man says, "I'm sorry but I can't date you". The woman asks why and the man responds:
I am lactose intolerant.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm lactose intolerant and…
Last night, I decided to have ice cream, just for s**....
