Lacked Jokes
48 lacked jokes and hilarious lacked puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lacked that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Lacked Short Jokes
Short lacked jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lacked humour may include short lacks jokes also.
- My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed. After 2 minutes all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.
- I got frostbite and had part of my foot amputated. Then my girlfriend left me. She was lack-toes intolerant.
- What's the difference between a vegan and a computer programmer? One is disgusted by rack of lamb and the other is disgusted by lack of RAM.
- (from my 11 yo) What does Darth Vader say after cutting someone's head off with a lightsaber? "I find your lack of face disturbing."
- A JOKE MY DAD CAME UP WITH Since the united states has a nationwide coin shortage, does that mean we lack common cents?
- My girlfriend got covid This is the perfect time to propose to her. She might just say yes because of the lack of taste.
- How many germans does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They are efficient and lack a sense of humour.
- My wife dressed up as a police woman last night and giggled, "You're being charged with being good in bed..." After two minutes she said she was dropping the charge due to lack of evidence.
- TIL Type O blood was actually meant to be Type Zero blood, due to lack of glycoproteins in the red blood cells. It was misread as type "O". I guess you can call it a typo.
- Feminist I don't understand why women want to be equal when they could be better.
That shows a lack of ambition to me.
Which is why men are better.
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Lacked One Liners
Which lacked one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lacked? I can suggest the ones about suffered and missing.
- My lack of Greek mythology knowledge has always been my achilles elbow
- I'm still using Office 2010 ... For lack of a better Word ...
- Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory? Lack of concentration.
- Why do vampires make the same mistakes over and over again? Because they lack reflection.
- I dislike people who are missing toes… You could say I'm lack-toes-intolerant!
- Doctor : you have a lack of magnesium Me : 0Mg
- Why are blind people bad at math? Because they lack da-vision.
- Jokes about Communism aren't funny. They lack class.
- What do you call someone who only likes people with 10 toes? Lack toes intolerant.
- My girlfriend lost a toe and i dumped her I'm lack-toes intolerant
- When my toaster broke, my wife left me. I guess she was lack toast intolerant
- For lack of a better word... Buy a thesaurus
- My wife got really mad at me for my lack of direction So I packed up my things and right
- Why are Titanic themed parties so awkward? They lack good icebreakers!
- Why is North Korea going fail against America? They lack the element of supplies
Quirky and Hilarious Lacked Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about lacked you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean vanished jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lacked pranks.
Nobody wanted to see the n**... banana . . .
it just lacked appeal
The Leaning Tower of Pisa and Big Ben never married...
One lacked the time while the other lacked the inclination.
For all you web developers out there.
Why couldn't the div buy a drink?
It lacked id.
Why couldn't the div find a girlfriend?
It lacked class.
Why wasn't the div good at diplomacy?
Its position was absolute.
Why was the div an anarchist?
It had no borders.
Why couldn't the div play poker?
It had 0 opacity.
The day I met her, I knew she was a keeper.
She completely lacked the skill, style or flair necessary to play out-field.
Did you hear about the bread-less k**... who couldn't drink milk?
He lacked toast and tolerance.
My boss said I "lacked courage" so I walked out...
Got a coffee to calm down and returned to my desk.
Why did the marine park worker feel aimless?
Because they lacked porpoises.
I lacked confidence in my ability as a sheep shearer....until I started shearing female sheep....
Ewes make me feel like a natural woolman....
Why'd the one eyed man marry the shallow girl?
He lacked depth perception.
A certain marsupial was denied entry into a local zoo...
His curriculum-leaftae was perfect, but he lacked the koalafications
I'll admit the Avengers had a plan
But in the end, they lacked vision.
I applied for a job as a Marsupial...
Safe to say I didn't get it because I lacked the right Koalafications.
The sign on the music shop read "Get Your Free Guitar Now! No Terms and Conditions applied".
Bob quickly got hold of one of them and unpacked the package. He was surprised to see that the guitar lacked strings.
I guess you could say:
"There were no strings attached."
Why didn't the priest walk into the lesbian-run mushroom store?
He thought she lacked morels.
Dude got his foot cut off, poor guy had to give up drinking milk.
He lacked toes.
Why did C++ look down at C?
It thought C lacked class.
i'll see myself out
Why wasn't the racer ever able to win?
He lacked the drive.
Why did the skinless banana have no friends?
Because he lacked appeal
What was sir mix a lot's favorite novel?
as my grandma always used to say, the hunchback of notre dame was little in the middle, but he never lacked much back. Mee-maw always did love voluptuous protagonists.
I was asked to tell a joke about wooden furniture.
It wasn't veneerly as hard as I expected. The joke was Oakay but I think it lacked polish.
I was asked to make a joke about wood furniture.
It wasn't veneerly as difficult as I thought. The joke was Oakay but lacked polish.
Why couldn't the Jewish banana get laid?
Because he lacked appeal
How did the defendant with ED's court date turn out, despite the #MeToo movement's most strenuous efforts to convict him?
Pretty well actually; they lacked any real solid evidence against him.
Why haven't we been to the moon in ages?
Guess it lacked atmosphere
If God lacked confidence
he'd be an atheist
There was a woman with 100 children…
There was a woman with 100 children. She lacked the creativity to name all of them so she just names them 1-100. 99 of the kids die. The only survivor is the kid named 90. 90 grows up and has kids of her own. One day, the kids find a stray dog. 90 did not want them to keep it. The kids decide to keep the dog secretly. They name the dog this so that they can say things like Let's take this outside without 90 finding out. One day, this suddenly dies in a car accident.
Only 90's kids remember this.
There was a woman with 100 children.
She lacked the creativity to name all of them so she just names them 1-100. 99 of the kids die. The only survivor is the kid named 90. 90 grows up and has kids of her own. One day, the kids find a stray dog. 90 did not want them to keep it. The kids decide to keep the dog secretly. They name the dog "this" so that they can say things like "Let's take this outside" without 90 finding out. One day, this suddenly dies in a car accident.
Only 90's kids remember this.
I tried to open a .SJW file but it said I lacked the "Correct" privileges.
The Mayweather Vs Pacquiao was oddly hilarious even though...
It lacked a proper punchline.
My dad used to tell me this one when I was little.
There once was a handsome, sentient snail. One day, he passed by a local convenience store and decided to enter in a lottery. A week later, he discovered he had won!
With his new fortune, he bought a brand new car. As it sat in his garage, he couldn't help thinking it lacked a little pizzaz. He found a bucket of paint and paintbrush and painted an enormous "S" for "snail" on the car.
He decided to go for a drive. As he happily drove down the street, the onlookers said...
"Look at that S car go."
Cutting-edge medical procedure
A new father was overjoyed to learn that his wife had just given birth to their first child: a son. However, the doctors informed the couple that their baby boy suffered from a rare but serious birth defect: the child had no eyelids. He had been born perfectly healthy in every other way, but lacked eyelids.
"All hope is not lost, however," the chief resident said. "The muscles and connective tissue appear to be normal, he just lacks the mucous membrane. If we circumcise your little one, we should be able to graft that tissue onto the place where his eyelids should be, and he can live a relatively normal life."
"Ok," the father said after discussing it with his wife,"go ahead and see what you can do for him."
The operation was a resounding success; the baby was blinking normally within a week.
The only problem was that the child ultimately grew up to be c**...-eyed.
A farmer dies...
... and her wife is left in charge with running the farm. Living with him for twenty years, she knew everything there was about farming, but lacked the physical prowess to do so.
She decided to put up a "Help Wanted" poster to have extra hands to help with her crops. Three men wanted the job, but she chooses the gay man, who is gentler than the rest.
Two months pass by, and the man works very diligently. They soon become well acquainted; being able to trust one another.
One night, the man comes back from town, with newly bought supplies. Upon entry of the farm, he realizes that the widow is still there, waiting at her bed.
The widow beckons a finger at him. The man gulps.
"Take off my shoes."
He takes off her shoes.
"Take off my dress."
He solemnly takes off her dress.
"Unclasp my bra."
The bra is removed.
"Take off my p**...."
He pulls her p**... down.
She scorns, and says, "If I catch you going into town with my clothes again, you're fired!"
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant, where he sees a gorgeous redhead across the table from him...
...He'd noticed her when he first sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk to her. Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye goes flying at the man. He reflexively grabs her eye out of the air and hands it back to her. "Oh my, I am so sorry!" the woman said as she put the eye back in. "Not a problem ma'am, would you like to come over to my place this evening?" said the man. She agreed and stayed the night.
After a wild night, the man wakes up to the woman cooking breakfast for him, and it tasted delicious! The man says "You are the perfect woman! Do you do this to every man you meet?" "Actually, you're the first," said the woman. "You just happened to catch my eye"
