JokoJokes

Lack Jokes

156 lack jokes and hilarious lack puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lack that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Find out why the lack of brains, sleep, petrol, and communication can lead to a shortage and how to increase the supply to be sufficient again with these hilarious lack jokes.

Funniest Lack Short Jokes

Short lack jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lack humour may include short absence jokes also.

  1. My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed. After 2 minutes all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.
  2. I got frostbite and had part of my foot amputated. Then my girlfriend left me. She was lack-toes intolerant.
  3. What's the difference between a vegan and a computer programmer? One is disgusted by rack of lamb and the other is disgusted by lack of RAM.
  4. (from my 11 yo) What does Darth Vader say after cutting someone's head off with a lightsaber? "I find your lack of face disturbing."
  5. A JOKE MY DAD CAME UP WITH Since the united states has a nationwide coin shortage, does that mean we lack common cents?
  6. My girlfriend got covid This is the perfect time to propose to her. She might just say yes because of the lack of taste.
  7. How many germans does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They are efficient and lack a sense of humour.
  8. My wife dressed up as a police woman last night and giggled, "You're being charged with being good in bed..." After two minutes she said she was dropping the charge due to lack of evidence. 
  9. TIL Type O blood was actually meant to be Type Zero blood, due to lack of glycoproteins in the red blood cells. It was misread as type "O". I guess you can call it a typo.
  10. Feminist I don't understand why women want to be equal when they could be better.
    That shows a lack of ambition to me.
    Which is why men are better.

Share These Lack Jokes With Friends




Lack One Liners

Which lack one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lack? I can suggest the ones about shortage and inability.

  1. My lack of Greek mythology knowledge has always been my achilles elbow
  2. I'm still using Office 2010 ... For lack of a better Word ...
  3. Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory? Lack of concentration.
  4. Why do vampires make the same mistakes over and over again? Because they lack reflection.
  5. I dislike people who are missing toes… You could say I'm lack-toes-intolerant!
  6. Doctor : you have a lack of magnesium Me : 0Mg
  7. Why are blind people bad at math? Because they lack da-vision.
  8. Jokes about Communism aren't funny. They lack class.
  9. What do you call someone who only likes people with 10 toes? Lack toes intolerant.
  10. My girlfriend lost a toe and i dumped her I'm lack-toes intolerant
  11. When my toaster broke, my wife left me. I guess she was lack toast intolerant
  12. For lack of a better word... Buy a thesaurus
  13. My wife got really mad at me for my lack of direction So I packed up my things and right
  14. Why are Titanic themed parties so awkward? They lack good icebreakers!
  15. Why is North Korea going fail against America? They lack the element of supplies

Lack Understanding Jokes

Here is a list of funny lack understanding jokes and even better lack understanding puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I don't understand why women want to be equal when they could be better. That shows a lack of ambition to me.
    Which is why men are better.
  • My wife said I lack empathy I don't understand how she could feel that way.
  • My mom said that i'm starting to lack empathy. I can't understand how she could feel like that.
  • Globally, the lack of awareness for women's reproductive health is a major problem. We need to grow up and understand that m**... is not a joke. Period.

Lack Of Sleep Jokes

Here is a list of funny lack of sleep jokes and even better lack of sleep puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I wouldn't get a job at that mattress store if I were you... I heard they have a high turnover rate.
    *joke brought to you by lack of sleep
  • How does master chief lure the covenant into his trap? He master...baits... hue hue hue hue hue..
    credit to my XBL party earlier and lack of sleep
Lack joke, How does master chief lure the covenant into his trap?

Lack Of Brains Jokes

Here is a list of funny lack of brains jokes and even better lack of brains puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Some people think that their life experience compensates for their lack of brain.
  • If we took the collective stupidity of every low-life imbecile known since the evolution of man, it might be close to the complete lack of brain function you possess.
  • What do vegans lack? Brain cells.

Lack Oxygen Jokes

Here is a list of funny lack oxygen jokes and even better lack oxygen puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • They say curiosity killed the cat But I think it was the lack of oxygen
  • I passed out at a f**... from lack of oxygen I guess I should've bereaved
Lack joke, I passed out at a f**... from lack of oxygen

Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Lack Jokes with Friends.

What funny jokes about lack you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean weakness jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lack pranks.

Carrie Fisher runs into George Micheal in the afterlife...

She says, "Oh man, I'm a huge fan! I've got every one of your albums except the first one."
He says, "I find your lack of 'Faith' disturbing".

Not exactly a joke, butthe usually get a great reaction. Caution: not for use with those who lack basic math skills.

Pick a number from 1 to 9, but don't tell me what it is. Multiply that number by 9. If the the result is a two digit number, add the two digits together. Now subtract 5.
Where the letters of the alphabet correspond to the numbers 1 though 26, pick the letter associated with the number you have left. Think of a country that begins with that letter. Take the last letter of the country, and think of an animal that begins with that letter. Take the last letter of the animal, and think of a color that begins with that letter.
Now.... How many orange kangaroos are there in Denmark?

What does the NFL have in common with Brokeback Mountain?

The Cowboys s**....

Rumours of a food shortage.....

rumour of a food shortage at this year's Spoonerism Awards turned out to be a complete lack of pies.

What do North Koreans lack that South Koreans do not?

North Koreans have no Seoul.

A little boy answered a knock at the door...

A little boy answered a knock at the door to find a well-dressed woman.
"Is your mother home?" she asked, politely.
"Uh uh," he said.
"Okay," she said, put off by his lack of manners. "Is your father home?"
"Nope. He done gone to work and he ain't gonna be back 'til after dinner."
"Young man," she said sternly. "Where's your grammar?"
"She's in the kitchen... Bakin' cookies."
*

Why did the dolphin kill himself?

A lack of porpoise.

what do you call a liberal humanitarian with a broken toaster

lack toast and tolerant

The U.N. initiates a poll...

The United Nations initiated a poll with the request, "Please tell us your honest opinion about the lack of food in the rest of the world."
The poll was a total failure.
The Russians did not understand "Please". The Italians did not know the word "honest". The Chinese did not know what an "opinion" was. The Europeans did not know "lack", while the Africans did not know "food". Finally, the Americans didn't know anything about the "rest of the world".

I asked my girlfriend to describe me in 5 words. She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect..

Then she added that I also had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces.

If you think colours aren't funny

then you lack a sense of hue-mour

I really hate people who never have bread for breakfast...

You can say I'm lack toast intolerant

I'll ^see ^^myself ^^^out

I hate people with club feet...

I'm lack toes intolerant.

I have a new co-worker, who only has seven toes. I instantly hated him.

Turns out I'm lack toes intolerant.

Have you ever noticed the lack of trigger discipline cops have in movies?

It's so realistic.

My complete lack of knowledge about Greek mythology has always been my achilles elbow.

thanks, Mike!

Mother of Six

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.
He is so proud of himself that he starts calling his wife Mother of Six in spite of her objections.
One night they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home, and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, Shall we go home Mother of Six?
His wife, irritated by her husbands lack of discretion shouts back… Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!

A steed was having s**... with a fox

The steed was pumping and carassing, neighing and kissing yet 45 minutes in the fox was still laying there, not moving an inch.
Fed up with the lack of respobse the horse sneers and says: i do all the work and all you do is lay there. Do something so I know you're enjoying it too.
The fox answers: Well if you'd pull out a bit maybe i could twitch my neck.

A Lack of Recognition

Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the spiritual leader of their churches.
Baptists do not recognize each other in liquor stores or gentlemen's clubs.

My boss fired me because of my lack of knowledge in regards to the workplace.

After a few hours I finally found the exit.

They're building a restaurant on Mars now...

They say the food will be great, but they're worried about a lack of atmosphere.

My doctor diagnosed me with severe lack of observation.

That came out of nowhere.

My friend lost his toes in a car accident, so I punched him in the face

I'm lack toes intolerant

I've kinda felt like my headphones recently

I've got a severe lack of anything to jack inside of.

Donald Trump is said to have lack of foreign policy experience to be president, but in fairness, he has spent time meeting with foreign leaders around the world.

Ms. Sweden, Ms. Argentina...

Arrested for being too good in bed!

My girlfriend dressed up as a police woman last night and giggled "I'm arresting you for being too good in bed"
After two minutes she said she was dropping the charges due to lack of evidence.

The Trump Travel ban was refused due to lack of evidence..

Apparently "I know it, you know it, everybody knows it" wasn't enough

Abortion clinics should be banned

Those doctors demonstrate a complete lack of humanity. Spawn killing is a filthy tactic.

I might not get many upvotes for this joke about high-yield savings accounts...

But it won't be for lack of interest.

What is a pirate's favourite letter?

Dear xxxxxxxxx
Your internet service has not been terminated for copyright infringement due to a lack of evidence.
Sincerely xxxxxxxx

I don't like how people love their fandoms more than their god

Especially Star Wars fans
I find your lack of faith disturbing

Yesterday, I saw a guy harassing a diabetic who recently had parts of his foot amputated.

I guess the first guy was lack toes intolerant.

People complain about a lack of women in tech jobs

That's nonsense - what about Siri, Alexa and Cortana?

My girlfriend left me after I lost both my legs in an accident

She said she was lack toes intolerant.

Why did the loaf of bread lack manners?

It wasn't raised right!

So John Kelly claims that the lack of an ability to compromise led to the Civil War...

I wouldn't say that's 100% accurate, but at least 3/5ths.

What's the name of a lackluster Greek philosopher?

Mediocrates

Instead of Traveling to Oz, the Tin Man, the Lion, and The Scarecrow should run for Congress

As they lack a heart, mind, and courage

What does the Fat Acceptance Movement lack?

An actual movement.

A sad day for a doctor

After 7 years of study, training and hard work, a member of the medical profession has been fired after one minor lack of judgment. He slept with one of his patients and can no longer work in the profession.
What a waste of time, effort, training and money. This shows that one minor mistake can ruin your career. Praying for him and his family. He was a genuinely nice guy, and a brilliant veterinarian.

My dad died because of a lack of exercise.

He didn't run when the bus was coming

My friends all call me a chick magnet.

However due to my lack of ferromagnetic material in my chemical makeup I can can't seem to think of what repels all these girls.

My girlfriend dressed up as a cop, and told me she would arrest me for being great in bed.

Unfortunately, all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.

The irony of the fat acceptance movement...

is the inheirant lack of movement.

I lacked confidence in my ability as a sheep shearer....until I started shearing female sheep....

Ewes make me feel like a natural woolman....

(Infinity War Speculation) When Thanos gains the mind stone, he will turn into Palpatine.

Because The Avengers will pay for their lack of Vision.

What first tipped Darth Vader off about the Millennium Falcon?

He found their lack of freight disturbing
^^May ^^the ^^Fourth ^^be ^^with ^^you!

Emmanuel Macron meets Putin and tells him...

"You lack freedom in Russia. In Paris, anyone can walk in the street and shout 'Macron is an idiot!', and nobody will touch them."
Putin gives him a basilisk stare and slowly says:
"In Moscow, anyone can walk in the street and shout 'Macron is an idiot!', and nobody will touch them, either."

I cut off the end of my foot but the Doctor wouldn't treat me.

Turns out he was lack toes intolerant.

My friend stopped talking to me after I lost 3 of my toes to frost bite.

I didn't know he was lack toes intolerant.

My cousin was planning to take an Uber home, but then his phone died.

For lack of a better option, he took out the amount of cash that he thought would cover the cost plus tip, and he asked a stranger, "If I pay you this cash, would you call me an Uber?". The stranger nodded, took the cash, said "You're an Uber!" and walked away.

Ben was a fifth grader notorious for his lack of filter.

One day, he walked into class 10 minutes late. "What took you so long, Ben?" asked the teacher. "Sorry miss, there was construction happening in a w**... nearby so all the roads were blocked."
Suddenly, all the girls in the class, disgusted at Ben, rose up to protest against his v**... rhetoric. "Simmer down, you s**...", Ben replied "they are not taking applications yet."

Why can't you scare a chemist?

...because they always lack the element of surprise...

My friend in Africa was complaining about the lack of drinking water in his village.

So I sent him a Get Well Soon card.

Apparently there's a lack of s**... education being taught in school

Which is why I'm glad the Catholic church has taken matters into their own hands.

I applied to be a doorman but didn't get the job due to lack of experience!!!!

That surprised me, i thought it was an entry level position. :(

What is similar about coronavirus and s**...?

Most Redditors lack the social skills to get either

What's the difference between Corona Virus and s**...?

Most Redditors lack the social skills to get both.

I dated a girl until she showed me her right foot

I dated a girl until she showed me her right foot. She lost 3 toes in an accident as a child, so I had to run away. What else could I do? I am lack toes intolerant.

Last night my girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed…

2 minutes later she told me all the charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.

A few months ago my friend lost three toes in a work accident. Today his wife left him because she said that she couldn't handle it....

.....I guess she was lack toes intolerant.

Due to COVID-19, this was the first year I could not go to Switzerland for my summer vacation

Otherwise it's due to the lack of money.

While testing a newly installed computer, an Army officer asked the machine to predict the probability of World War Three and promptly received a one-word answer: "Yes."

Annoyed at the lack of detail, the officer
barked, "Yes, what?" Instantly the machine
replied, "Yes, sir!"

My buddy's wife left him after he lost his feet in a car accident.

Turned out she was lack toes intolerant.

China's lack of transparency on virus is fuelling rumors: US experts

It's basically all this he said Xi said b**....

First, we bought toilet paper for a respiratory virus because we lack common sense.

Now, we have a nationwide coin shortage, which means we lack common cents!

My friend walked out on his date when she told him she had a deformed foot.

I told him he shouldn't be lack toes intolerant.

I had a friend who lost a toe in an accident.

We aren't friends any more, I'm extremely lack toes intolerant.

Lack joke, I had a friend who lost a toe in an accident.

jokes about lack