Lack Jokes
148 lack jokes and hilarious lack puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lack that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Find out why the lack of brains, sleep, petrol, and communication can lead to a shortage and how to increase the supply to be sufficient again with these hilarious lack jokes.
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Funniest Lack Short Jokes
Short lack jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lack humour may include short absence jokes also.
- My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed. After 2 minutes all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.
- I got frostbite and had part of my foot amputated. Then my girlfriend left me. She was lack-toes intolerant.
- What's the difference between a vegan and a computer programmer? One is disgusted by rack of lamb and the other is disgusted by lack of RAM.
- A JOKE MY DAD CAME UP WITH Since the united states has a nationwide coin shortage, does that mean we lack common cents?
- My girlfriend got covid This is the perfect time to propose to her. She might just say yes because of the lack of taste.
- TIL Type O blood was actually meant to be Type Zero blood, due to lack of glycoproteins in the red blood cells. It was misread as type "O". I guess you can call it a typo.
- Why did everyone have Covid-19 at the kpop concert? Because a symptom of Coronavirus is lack of taste.
- My girlfriend broke up with me because of my lack of vocabulary … What's that even supposed to mean?
- I might not get many upvotes for this joke about high-yield savings accounts... But it won't be for lack of interest.
- Why did dad divorce mom after hiking Mt. Everest? Mom got frostbite, and had toes amputated.
Dad's lack-toes-intolerant.
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Lack One Liners
Which lack one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lack? I can suggest the ones about shortage and inability.
- My lack of Greek mythology knowledge has always been my achilles elbow
- I'm still using Office 2010 ... For lack of a better Word ...
- Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory? Lack of concentration.
- Why do vampires make the same mistakes over and over again? Because they lack reflection.
- I dislike people who are missing toes… You could say I'm lack-toes-intolerant!
- Jokes about Communism aren't funny. They lack class.
- When my toaster broke, my wife left me. I guess she was lack toast intolerant
- For lack of a better word... Buy a thesaurus
- Why are Titanic themed parties so awkward? They lack good icebreakers!
- Why is North Korea going fail against America? They lack the element of supplies
- What kind of milk do you get from footless cows? Lack-toes!
- What do you call a person who gets mad when they don't have bread? Lack toast intolerant
- What does the Fat Acceptance Movement lack? An actual movement.
- What's a crackhead with no drugs? Crack-a-lacking
- What do North Koreans lack that South Koreans do not? North Koreans have no Seoul.
Lack Understanding Jokes
Here is a list of funny lack understanding jokes and even better lack understanding puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My mom said that i'm starting to lack empathy. I can't understand how she could feel like that.
Lack Of Sleep Jokes
Here is a list of funny lack of sleep jokes and even better lack of sleep puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I wouldn't get a job at that mattress store if I were you... I heard they have a high turnover rate.
*joke brought to you by lack of sleep - How does master chief lure the covenant into his trap? He master...baits... hue hue hue hue hue..
Lack Oxygen Jokes
Here is a list of funny lack oxygen jokes and even better lack oxygen puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- They say curiosity killed the cat But I think it was the lack of oxygen
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Lack Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about lack you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean weakness jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lack pranks.
Carrie Fisher runs into George Micheal in the afterlife...
She says, "Oh man, I'm a huge fan! I've got every one of your albums except the first one."
He says, "I find your lack of 'Faith' disturbing".
Not exactly a joke, butthe usually get a great reaction. Caution: not for use with those who lack basic math skills.
Pick a number from 1 to 9, but don't tell me what it is. Multiply that number by 9. If the the result is a two digit number, add the two digits together. Now subtract 5.
Where the letters of the alphabet correspond to the numbers 1 though 26, pick the letter associated with the number you have left. Think of a country that begins with that letter. Take the last letter of the country, and think of an animal that begins with that letter. Take the last letter of the animal, and think of a color that begins with that letter.
Now.... How many orange kangaroos are there in Denmark?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does the NFL have in common with Brokeback Mountain?
The Cowboys s**....
Rumours of a food shortage.....
rumour of a food shortage at this year's Spoonerism Awards turned out to be a complete lack of pies.
A little boy answered a knock at the door...
A little boy answered a knock at the door to find a well-dressed woman.
"Is your mother home?" she asked, politely.
"Uh uh," he said.
"Okay," she said, put off by his lack of manners. "Is your father home?"
"Nope. He done gone to work and he ain't gonna be back 'til after dinner."
"Young man," she said sternly. "Where's your grammar?"
"She's in the kitchen... Bakin' cookies."
*
what do you call a liberal humanitarian with a broken toaster
lack toast and tolerant
I asked my shrink
how he felt about the lack of progress he was making.
The U.N. initiates a poll...
The United Nations initiated a poll with the request, "Please tell us your honest opinion about the lack of food in the rest of the world."
The poll was a total failure.
The Russians did not understand "Please". The Italians did not know the word "honest". The Chinese did not know what an "opinion" was. The Europeans did not know "lack", while the Africans did not know "food". Finally, the Americans didn't know anything about the "rest of the world".
I asked my girlfriend to describe me in 5 words. She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect..
Then she added that I also had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces.
I am so perfect...
... I only have four flaws.
1) I lack humility.
b) I'm inconsistent.
Finally, I can't count.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If you think colours aren't funny
then you lack a sense of hue-mour
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I really hate people who never have bread for breakfast...
You can say I'm lack toast intolerant
I'll ^see ^^myself ^^^out
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I hate people with club feet...
I'm lack toes intolerant.
I have a new co-worker, who only has seven toes. I instantly hated him.
Turns out I'm lack toes intolerant.
Have you ever noticed the lack of trigger discipline cops have in movies?
It's so realistic.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why does Sean Connery s**... at DIY?
A lack of shelf awareness.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A steed was having s**... with a fox
The steed was pumping and carassing, neighing and kissing yet 45 minutes in the fox was still laying there, not moving an inch.
Fed up with the lack of respobse the horse sneers and says: i do all the work and all you do is lay there. Do something so I know you're enjoying it too.
The fox answers: Well if you'd pull out a bit maybe i could twitch my neck.
Why don't biology and physics get on?
They lack chemistry.
When theres a rack of lamb, there is not a lack of ram.
A Lack of Recognition
Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the spiritual leader of their churches.
Baptists do not recognize each other in liquor stores or gentlemen's clubs.
Darth Vader...
Of all the things that Darth Vader lost when the Death Star blew up, it was the destruction of his George Michael box set that affected him most deeply.
He finds his lack of Faith disturbing.
Marine biologists were baffled by why Jaws would always swim away after chomping off swimmers' legs.
Turns out he's lack toes intolerant.
My boss fired me because of my lack of knowledge in regards to the workplace.
After a few hours I finally found the exit.
Why was Darth Vader upset when he heard george michael will only play new songs at his concerts?
He found his lack of Faith disturbing.
My doctor diagnosed me with severe lack of observation.
That came out of nowhere.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I've kinda felt like my headphones recently
I've got a severe lack of anything to jack inside of.
Trump's first scandal.
Trump has had his first scandal. According to CNN, Donald Trump has gone to a private dinner with his family without alerting the press core. They've called this 'A dangerous breach of protocol and lack of transparency'.
I guess they're worried that he may have given some classified information to his private server.
Donald Trump is said to have lack of foreign policy experience to be president, but in fairness, he has spent time meeting with foreign leaders around the world.
Ms. Sweden, Ms. Argentina...
Arrested for being too good in bed!
My girlfriend dressed up as a police woman last night and giggled "I'm arresting you for being too good in bed"
After two minutes she said she was dropping the charges due to lack of evidence.
The Trump Travel ban was refused due to lack of evidence..
Apparently "I know it, you know it, everybody knows it" wasn't enough
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Abortion clinics should be banned
Those doctors demonstrate a complete lack of humanity. Spawn killing is a filthy tactic.
Did you hear about the Mortgage Enthusiast Club?
They had to disband due to lack of interest.
I was complaining about my lack of muscle growth to a buddy of mine in the gym...
Me: I come here everyday, 3 hours each day and I look the same as I did 6 months ago.
Buddy: No whey!
What is a pirate's favourite letter?
Dear xxxxxxxxx
Your internet service has not been terminated for copyright infringement due to a lack of evidence.
Sincerely xxxxxxxx
I don't like how people love their fandoms more than their god
Especially Star Wars fans
I find your lack of faith disturbing
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Yesterday, I saw a guy harassing a diabetic who recently had parts of his foot amputated.
I guess the first guy was lack toes intolerant.
People complain about a lack of women in tech jobs
That's nonsense - what about Siri, Alexa and Cortana?
Why did the loaf of bread lack manners?
It wasn't raised right!
So John Kelly claims that the lack of an ability to compromise led to the Civil War...
I wouldn't say that's 100% accurate, but at least 3/5ths.
What's the name of a lackluster Greek philosopher?
Mediocrates
I read that Saudi Arabia had to slow down on executions because of a lack of trained swordsmen.
I heard there were too many hacks.
A turtle walks into a bar...
...actually, it was supposed to be a rabbit, but lack of a neutral net forced a last minute script change.
Hear about the game of Life Millennial Edition?
There are 27 different pegs for gender and only four squares: Debt, Rent, Destroy an Industry, and early Death from lack of healthcare.
Instead of Traveling to Oz, the Tin Man, the Lion, and The Scarecrow should run for Congress
As they lack a heart, mind, and courage
I've never picked up a hitchhiker
but not for lack of trying.
My dad died because of a lack of exercise.
He didn't run when the bus was coming
My friends all call me a chick magnet.
However due to my lack of ferromagnetic material in my chemical makeup I can can't seem to think of what repels all these girls.
As a Englishman, I feel shame for my countries lack of a unique dish
I mean, look at Italy with their pasta and pizza. Portugal has Peri-Peri sauce, the French have omlettes and fancy bread. And I think we all know how the good the Germans are with ovens.
I lacked confidence in my ability as a sheep shearer....until I started shearing female sheep....
Ewes make me feel like a natural woolman....
(Infinity War Speculation) When Thanos gains the mind stone, he will turn into Palpatine.
Because The Avengers will pay for their lack of Vision.
What first tipped Darth Vader off about the Millennium Falcon?
He found their lack of freight disturbing
^^May ^^the ^^Fourth ^^be ^^with ^^you!
Emmanuel Macron meets Putin and tells him...
"You lack freedom in Russia. In Paris, anyone can walk in the street and shout 'Macron is an idiot!', and nobody will touch them."
Putin gives him a basilisk stare and slowly says:
"In Moscow, anyone can walk in the street and shout 'Macron is an idiot!', and nobody will touch them, either."
Ants can float on water using their toes. But why can't larger ants float on milk?
Because they lack toes in taller ants.
What caused the Great depression?
A lack of comedians
I cut off the end of my foot but the Doctor wouldn't treat me.
Turns out he was lack toes intolerant.
My friend stopped talking to me after I lost 3 of my toes to frost bite.
I didn't know he was lack toes intolerant.
My cousin was planning to take an Uber home, but then his phone died.
For lack of a better option, he took out the amount of cash that he thought would cover the cost plus tip, and he asked a stranger, "If I pay you this cash, would you call me an Uber?". The stranger nodded, took the cash, said "You're an Uber!" and walked away.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ben was a fifth grader notorious for his lack of filter.
One day, he walked into class 10 minutes late. "What took you so long, Ben?" asked the teacher. "Sorry miss, there was construction happening in a w**... nearby so all the roads were blocked."
Suddenly, all the girls in the class, disgusted at Ben, rose up to protest against his v**... rhetoric. "Simmer down, you s**...", Ben replied "they are not taking applications yet."
Why can't you scare a chemist?
...because they always lack the element of surprise...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
in india, muslim guy used to get divorce just bay saying the word 'talaq' 3 times. i found a joke based on it.
Wife: What I really hate about this house is the lack...
Husband: the lack....
Wife: the lack!
Husband: the lack?
Wife: yeah the lack of...
Husband: the lack o-
Wife: aye Dobby has no master. Dobby is a free elf
Husband: Damnnnnnn Fatima.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When it comes to foreign phrases, I don't know, I just ...
... lack a certain 'Jenna say k**....'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The only thing more Irish than a potato is...
The lack of even a single one.
PS: No offense.
My friend in Africa was complaining about the lack of drinking water in his village.
So I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Apparently there's a lack of s**... education being taught in school
Which is why I'm glad the Catholic church has taken matters into their own hands.
I applied to be a doorman but didn't get the job due to lack of experience!!!!
That surprised me, i thought it was an entry level position. :(
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is similar about coronavirus and s**...?
Most Redditors lack the social skills to get either
A few months ago my friend lost three toes in a work accident. Today his wife left him because she said that she couldn't handle it....
.....I guess she was lack toes intolerant.
Due to COVID-19, this was the first year I could not go to Switzerland for my summer vacation
Otherwise it's due to the lack of money.
Due to covid-19, I am not able to have a wonderful wagyu steak dinner at a restaurant for my anniversary
Usually it's due to the lack of money.
While testing a newly installed computer, an Army officer asked the machine to predict the probability of World War Three and promptly received a one-word answer: "Yes."
Annoyed at the lack of detail, the officer
barked, "Yes, what?" Instantly the machine
replied, "Yes, sir!"
