Laced Jokes
48 laced jokes and hilarious laced puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about laced that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Laced Short Jokes
Short laced jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The laced humour may include short injected jokes also.
- I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer I have no idea what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
- Two guys are changing in a locker room, one is putting on lace knickers "Since when do you wear womens pants?"
"Since my wife found them in the glove compartment!" - PSA: Don't buy shoes from your drug dealer. Trust me. I did. I don't know what they were laced with but I was tripping all day.
- When I put my shoes on earlier I suddenly felt very ill and drowsy and the room started spinning I think they might have been laced with something
- Last night at the party, I nearly choked on a shoestring. I couldn't believe someone had laced my drink.
- Last night at the bar I ordered a drink that was served in a shoe... ... I'm pretty sure it was laced.
- They just arrested my favorite shoe salesman thinking he was a drug lord. They said all the shoes were laced and everyone was trippin.
- I felt sorry for the sea world animals trapped in enclosures. So I fed them some fish laced with hashish. It felt good to serve a higher porpoise.
- What did the chameleon say when he walked across a tie-dye shirt? Whoa, that last bug must have been laced with something!
- What do you call a preponderance of evidence that your drink has been laced? Probable Cosby.
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Laced One Liners
Which laced one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with laced? I can suggest the ones about laid and legged.
- Why did my dog hallucinate after chewing my shoes? They were laced.
- How do you always keep your shoes tied? Replace the laces with earphones.
- I bought some drugs from the old lady who lives in a shoe. They turned out to be laced.
- What do Asian people use as blindfolds? Shoe laces.
- What do you call canned pork laced with Ritalin? Short Attention Spam
- I'm gonna buy some velcro for my shoes instead of laces Why knot?
- Why dont people eat shoes? Because they've been laced
- Never drink something from a shoe... It's probably been laced with something.
- What do you say to your laces to make them go away? Shoo laces
- Why shouldn't you buy shoes off the street? They might be laced with something..
- Why did the sneakerhead go to the hospital? His shoe was laced :)
- How was the man killed by his own shoes? They were laced with poison.
- What happened when the teacher tied everyone's laces together? They went on a class trip
- Why was the shoemaker arrested? His products were laced.
- A drug dealer gave me shoes I wonder what their laced with
Delightful Fun Laced Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about laced you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean plated jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make laced pranks.
A Parrot with an attitude
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior." John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"
My drug dealer started selling me my shoes
I dont know what they're laced with, but I've been trippin all day
I bought my shoes from a drug dealer
They must have been laced pretty badly, cause I've been trippin all morning
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A small village soup chef tried to make a bit of extra money on the side, selling boullion cubes laced with m**......
It was the laughing stock of the whole town.
So I got these shoes from my drug dealer...
I don't know what he laced it with but I have been tripping all day.
s/o to my professor for telling this joke to me today and giving me a good laugh.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer...
I don't know what they were laced with but I've been tripping all day
heard from the mailman who comes in to my shop with a new joke every day. He's making the world a better place one joke at a time
I saw a man on the corner with a shoebox
And asked him what he was selling
Jordan's
How much?
50 bucks
Not a bad deal, what size are they?
11
Hey that's my size! I'll take them
It sure was a good deal, but he must have laced them with something, because I was tripping the rest of the morning.
What did Caesar say when he found out someone laced his raw vegetable appetizer with E. coli?
Et tu crudite'?
So I bought some shoes from a drug dealer Saturday morning..
Man I dont know what he laced em with but I was trippin' all weekend.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. ..
Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day.
Give a man a fish laced with potassium cyanide, and you feed him for a lifetime.
Smugglers have began hiding drugs in the soles of their shoes. You shouldn't trust them
They're probably laced
I've started to get paranoid about hiding my drugs in my shoes
Every time I look at them, they look laced.
Feeling strange, Mr. Bond? That's because I've laced your martini with a measles vaccine. The autism should be setting in any second now.
Joke's on you, I already disassembled your doomsday device and rearranged all the parts in order of size.
Feeling strange, Mr. Bond?
Feeling strange, Mr. Bond? That's because I've laced your martini with a measles vaccine. The autism should be setting in any second now.
Joke's on you, I already disassembled your doomsday device and rearranged all the parts in order of size.
