Labrador Jokes

43 labrador jokes and hilarious labrador puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about labrador that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover a collection of funny and entertaining jokes about Labrador Retrievers. From black labs to golden retrievers, we have plenty of doggy jokes to make you laugh. Enjoy these funny Labrador jokes!

Funniest Labrador Short Jokes

Short labrador jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The labrador humour may include short retriever jokes also.

  1. My friend was thinking of getting a labrador. I had to talk him out of it: "Have you seen how many of their owners go blind?!?"
  2. A guy says to his buddy, "I'm thinking about buying a labrador." His pal warns, "That might not be such a good idea. Have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"
  3. My kids want a dog but I've refused to get them a Labrador. It's frightening how many Labrador owners you see that have gone blind
  4. The man who cross breeds labradors and poodles will be adequate for the job at hand. The labradoodle dude'll do.
  5. I just watched an Imam trying to perform a tracheotomy on a Labrador while free-falling at 10,000 feet... ... I'm not sure extreme vetting for Muslims is such a good idea.
  6. What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel, and a Labrador????????????? A hot diggity Dog.
  7. Did you guys hear about the labrador who left her puppies in the street? She was fined for littering.
  8. My friend was planning to get a Labrador. Is he mad? Hasn't he seen how many of their owners go blind?!
  9. My six-year old just got pregnant! She's a Labrador Beagle Mix, and she'll be having a litter of puppies in September!
  10. Why can't my master understand that I am just a Labrador and not Jesus? He keeps telling me to heal.

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Labrador One Liners

Which labrador one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with labrador? I can suggest the ones about remover and ruff.

  1. I'm never buying a Labrador... Havent you seen how many of their owners go blind?
  2. What do you call a Labrador who does Magic? Labrakadabrador
  3. What do you call an intelligent blonde? A Labrador.
  4. A labrador picks up Mjölnir and goes to medical school Guess he's a DogThor now.
  5. What do you call a smart blonde? A Labrador retriever
  6. I accidentally dumped white flour on my black labrador… …now she's a greyhound.
  7. What is yellow, fluffy, and hides your slippers? A Labrador Deceiver.
  8. My Labrador assists blind travellers. It's a tour guide dog.
  9. When is a door not a door? When it's a Labrador.
  10. Why did michael vick dogfight? He wanted his labrador to evolve into a kadabrador.
  11. What does a labrador go to university to gain? A *dog*ree.

Black Labrador Jokes

Here is a list of funny black labrador jokes and even better black labrador puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My wife got me a chocolate brown labrador. But sadly, we had to put the dog to sleep I had asked for a black labrador
Labrador joke, My wife got me a chocolate brown labrador. But sadly, we had to put the dog to sleep

Hilarious Labrador Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter

What funny jokes about labrador you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pet jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make labrador pranks.

A Dachshund and a Labrador are walking together when the former suddenly unloads on his friend.

My life is a mess, he says. My owner is mean, my girlfriend ran away with a Pomeranian and I'm as jittery as a cat.
Why don't you go see a psychiatrist? suggests the Labrador.
* I can't. I'm not allowed on the couch. *

Below is an ad that appeared in The Atalanta Journal.

Single black female seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who loves to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips; cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call this number and ask for Dixie.
(Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the local Humane Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals about an 8-week old black Labrador retriever)

Sick chihuahua

A man takes his sick Chihuahua to the veterinarian. They're immediately taken back to a room.
Soon, a Labrador walks in, sniffs the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Then a cat comes in, stares at the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Finally, the doctor
comes in, prescribes some medicine and hands the man a $250 bill.
This must be a mistake, the man says. I've been here only 20 minutes!
No mistake, the doctor says. It's $100 for the lab test, $100 for the cat scan and $50 for the medicine.

The intelligent dog

Roxy, a large black Labrador, was sitting up in his seat at the movies, wagging his tail, growling at the villain and barking excitedly at the hero's escapades. The woman in the seat behind him was intrigued.
Excuse me, she said, tapping Roxy's owner on the shoulder, that dog is extraordinary. I've never seen anything like it!
Yes, he's surprised me, too, said the owner. He hated the book.

Boudreaux's dead duck

Boudreaux rushed into Doc Robicheaux's office carrying a duck. He gently placed the duck on the exam table, it lay there limp and not moving.
Doc, you gotta help my duck , Boudreaux said.
Doc Robicheaux looked at the duck and shook his head. Boudreaux, your duck is dead , he said.
Doc, you gotta do something - run some test - do something , Boudreaux demanded.
Okay , Doc Robicheaux said.
The Doc whistled and a large black Labrador Retriever came in. The dog sniffed the duck from all sides, looked at the Doc, shook his head from side to side, and went back out.
The Doc made a clicking sound with his tongue and a gray cat came in. The cat jumped on the table and watched the unmoving duck for a couple of minutes, turned to the Doc, shook his head from sided to side, and went back out.
Boudreaux, your duck is dead , Doc Robicheaux told Boudreaux, Dat'll be 125 dollars .
Dat's a lot just to tell me dat my duck's dead , Boudreaux protested.
Boudreaux, I examined the duck and told you it was dead - that woulda been 10 dollars. You're da one dat demanded da Lab-Work and da Cat-Scan , Doc Robicheaux explained.

Two Labradors were sitting in a Bar , drinking beer

The first Labrador whispers to the other " I went to bed with your mother , last night "
The second Labrador ignored it and carried on drinking beer.
The first Labrador shouts this time " did you hear me ? I went to bed with your mom , last night ? "
The other Labrador shook his head, sighed loudly and said " Go home Dad , you're drunk "

A blind man walks into a shop with a chihuahua...

wearing black sunglasses and a walking cane.
A shop assistant comes over and says "sorry sir, but we don't allow dogs in here".
The man replies, "but this is my guide dog!".
"Oh.." says the shop assistant, "I thought they were meant to be labradors?"
The man says "oh god, what have I got!"

When I got my bachelor of sciences degree, I bought a labrador

Every scientist needs a lab after all.

My labrador and my collie do everything together.

You could say that they're great at collaborating.

the blind con

a blind man goes into a restaurant with an american bull terrier. The manager remonstrated with him about the dog he asked what was wrong he was informed that a bull terrier was not a guide dog. He started to go crazy shouting that the b**... that sold him it told him it was a Labrador.

Did you hear about the blind fella going from house to house trying to sell his dog?

He was Labrador-to-door salesman

As a kid I got a blonde Labrador for christmas but we had to euthanize him


As a kid I got a dark brown Labrador puppy for my birthday..

It's a really sad story, we had to euthanize him..
I wanted a light brown one

Inspired by "A man walks into a bar with a labrador"

Made me think of this gem:
Why dont blind people go skydiving?
It scares the sh*t out of the dog.

Labrador joke, Inspired by "A man walks into a bar with a labrador"

jokes about labrador